Pansy: Come on, just do it, it’s just a silly prank
Draco: No, Pansy, I’m not going to commit a crime with you. I’m too pretty for Azkaban
Pansy: If you do it, Harry might arrest you in his Auror robes
Draco: ...
Draco: I guess it’s just a silly prank after all, no big deal, I can do it
Pansy *coughs*: Slut
Draco: Shut up, Pansy, let’s do it
Auror Harry: Thank you for healing me
Healer Draco: It’s what I do
Auror Harry: I also have another injury that might need your magical touch
Healer Draco: Oh, where?
Auror Harry: Between my legs
Healer Draco: ...
Healer Draco: Why are you here in St. Mungo’s?
Auror Harry: I got a scratch
Healer Draco: You could easily heal this yourself
Auror Harry: I lost my wand
Healer Draco: ...It’s in your hand
Auror Harry: Oh well there it is! I totally forgot!
Healer Draco: ...
Healer Draco: Are you positive?
Auror Harry: Yes, I have a very positive outlook on life
Healer Draco: ...I mean your blood type, Harry. Are you a B positive or negative?
Auror Harry: Oh...negative
Speak Up - Drarry
Summary: Potter is acting strange by complimenting him in the middle of an Auror meeting, inviting him to his New Year’s party and Draco isn’t sure how to react to that
Word count: 8775
Tags: Post-Hogwarts; Explicit Sexual Content; Auror Harry Potter; Auror Draco Malfoy; Top Harry Potter; Bottom Draco Malfoy; Mutual Pining; Idiots In Love; Smut
The File - Drarry
Summary: Draco sees a file with his name but full of pornography on Harry’s computer. Harry is absolutely screwed
Word count: 6824
Tags: Post-Hogwarts; Explicit Sexual Content; Roommates; Living Together; Auror Harry Potter; Healer Draco Malfoy; Top Harry Potter; Bottom Draco Malfoy; Pining Harry Potter; Harry Potter is Bad at Feelings
that one time Ron almost ruins Harry’s birthday party - Drarry
Summary: Ron has to get a stripper for Harry’s 40th birthday party, but he messes it up
That’s it, that’s the plot.
Word count: 8882
Tags: Post-Hogwarts; Explicit Sexual Content; Birthday fic; Auror Harry Potter; Healer Draco Malfoy; Top Harry Potter; Bottom Draco Malfoy; Stripper Draco Malfoy; Shameless Smut
For Harry’s birthday
that one time Ron almost ruins Harry’s birthday party - Drarry
Summary: Ron has to get a stripper for Harry’s 40th birthday party, but he messes it up
That’s it, that’s the plot.
Word count: 8882
Tags: Post-Hogwarts; Explicit Sexual Content; Birthday fic; Auror Harry Potter; Healer Draco Malfoy; Top Harry Potter; Bottom Draco Malfoy; Stripper Draco Malfoy; Shameless Smut
For Harry’s birthday
Kiss Me, Potter - Drarry
Summary:Â Draco will normally ignore all the unnecessary things around him, but when he sees Harry being cornered by a rather too flirty guy, Draco decides to jump in and pretend to be Harry's boyfriend.
Well, it still works out alright after all.
Word count: 8256
Tags: Post-Hogwarts; Healer Draco Malfoy; Auror Harry Potter; Denial of Feelings; Shameless Smut; I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping; Explicit Sexual Content; Shower Sex; Top Harry Potter; Bottom Draco Malfoy
(Birthday fic for @gaeilgelupin)
Harry: Hi, is Draco here?
Healer: And who may I say is wanting to see him?
Harry: I’m Harry
Healer: Harry of...?
Harry: ...Of Harry and Draco
Harry: Hi, is Draco here?
Healer: And who may I say is wanting to see him?
Harry: I’m Harry
Healer: Harry of...?
Harry: ...Of Harry and Draco
Harry: Hi, is Draco here?
Healer: And who may I say is wanting to see him?
Harry: I’m Harry
Healer: Harry of...?
Harry: ...Of Harry and Draco
Ron: Where are you going?
Harry: Er, St. Mungo, snake bite
Hermione: That looks like human bite
Ron: Did you bite your own arm so you can meet Draco?
Harry: What? Pfft, no way! Me? Meeting Draco just because he’s a Healer there and I don’t get to see him unless it’s in St. Mungo? Pfft, absolutely not. Is that why I also faked being sick last week and even hexed myself to meet him? No way
Ron: Oh, alright then, good luck!
Hermione: *sighs*
Ron after Harry went back from an Auror mission without him
Draco’s already used to this
Ron: Where are you going?
Harry: Er, St. Mungo, snake bite
Hermione: That looks like human bite
Ron: Did you bite your own arm so you can meet Draco?
Harry: What? Pfft, no way! Me? Meeting Draco just because he’s a Healer there and I don’t get to see him unless it’s in St. Mungo? Pfft, absolutely not. Is that why I also faked being sick last week and even hexed myself to meet him? No way
Ron: Oh, alright then, good luck!
Hermione: *sighs*
*on the phone*
Harry: I can’t go to Auror training today
Ron: Why?
Harry: Draco’s sleeping on my lap and I can’t move
Ron: ...cool
*on the phone*
Harry: I can’t go to Auror training today
Ron: Why?
Harry: Draco’s sleeping on my lap and I can’t move
Ron: ...cool
Draco: Can you believe it? Potter just went from annoying little git to full daddy mode in Auror robes now, Pansy
Pansy: And you just went from death eater to dick eater real quick, Draco
Draco: Can you believe it? Potter just went from annoying little git to full daddy mode in Auror robes now, Pansy
Pansy: And you just went from death eater to dick eater real quick, Draco
Healer Draco: That’s it, Auror Potter, you can go now
Auror Harry: …
Healer Draco: Do you have a question?
Auror Harry: Your hair is pretty
Healer Draco: Not a question, but thank you
Auror Harry: Would the healer mind if I smelled it?
Healer Draco: …Now is probably a good time to tell you that I don’t date my patients
Auror Harry: Well, maybe I should tell you that I never don’t not date my Healer—
Ron *drags Harry away*: Okay, stop, come on, Harry. Let’s go
