Harry: Will you marry me?
Draco: No
Harry: What? Why?
Draco: Because first, we’ve been married for five years, second, just because today is your birthday doesn’t mean you’ll get away this time. Now go change our baby’s diaper!
Harry *pouts*: Okay
Harry: Will you marry me?
Draco: No
Harry: What? Why?
Draco: Because first, we’ve been married for five years, second, just because today is your birthday doesn’t mean you’ll get away this time. Now go change our baby’s diaper!
Harry *pouts*: Okay
Blaise: Is that sausage in your trousers or are you just excited to see me?
Ron *pulls out sausage from pockets*: Woah! How do you know?
Blaise: ...so you actually have it in your trousers?
Ron: Yeah!
Blaise: Can I have some then?
Ron: Oh...no
Blaise: ...
Harry: Thank you for the meal, Draco
Draco: You’re welcome
Ron: It’s 11pm, did you guys just have dinner now?
Draco: Oh no, Harry likes eating his midnight meal
Ron: Ah, I see
Harry & Draco: ...
Ron: Wait a minute—
Pansy: Hey, you got any chocolate syrup left?
Ron: Yeah, it’s in my...bedroom
Draco: Oh were you eating it?
Ron: Nah, Blaise was
Draco: Is that chocolate syrup on your neck?
Ron: ...
Pansy: Wait a minute—
Draco: Wow you two are wild
Draco: So, Harry and I are going to sing “Silent Night” for this Christmas party
Ron: That’s ironic considering how both of you never let me get a bloody silent night living in the next room with you guys. I’m looking at you, Draco
Draco: ...
Pansy: I like you
Hermione: Why?
Pansy: You’re so disciplined, so organised, you’re the definition of everything good in this world
Hermione: I set Snape on fire once
Pansy: ...I love you
Hermione: ...
Blaise: Do you think Weasley looks beautiful right now?
Pansy: You mean Ron, who has sauce all over his mouth and choking on a piece of chicken right now?
Blaise *sighs happily*: Yeah
Pansy: ...you have a problem
Ron: Some people might think I married Blaise just because he’s handsome and rich and he spoils me
Pansy: But?
Ron: But what? That’s it
Hermione: This shirt is 350 Galleons?
Pansy: Down from 700 Galleons. You’re saving like...200 Galleons
Hermione: Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today
Draco: I just had the most amazing bath
Harry: Really? I don’t like baths
Draco: Wait, you like them with me
Harry: Honey, it’s not the bath I enjoy, it’s the wet, naked husband of mine
Ron: Blaise, this is enough, you can’t buy me anymore stuff, this is too much
Blaise: But I want to
Ron: Then why don’t you buy me the whole bloody shop then?
Blaise: Okay
Ron: No wait! Stop! I was joking!!
Pansy: Draco, have you filled in the qualities you want in a man in this parchment?
Draco: Yeah
Pansy: Okay—this just says “Harry Potter”
Draco: And?
Ron: You know, every person has a tough and scary friend, who’s always there to protect you
Pansy: Is Harry your protector?
Harry: Oh no, Hermione’s our protector
Pansy: ...right
Draco: I’m so mad at you, I can’t even talk to you right now, Harry!
Harry: Then should I leav—
Draco: Don’t you dare leave the bloody room!
Harry: What am I suppose to do?? I’m confused!
Draco: Ugh, my hips hurt
Ron: Oh, is it because...*winks* you and Harry have some...*winks* business in the bedroom? *winks* Was he good?
Draco: What are you—stop winking, Ron!You’re freaking me out!
Ron: What? You told me to be supportive of you and my best friend
Draco: Not like that!
Pansy: How was your date with Harry?
Draco: He whispered in my ear and I was moister than an oyster
Ron: ...well, there goes my seafood dinner
Harry: Draco...
Draco: Don’t talk to me
Pansy: What happened here?
Ron: He’s mad because Teddy likes Harry more
Draco: I’m his uncle! Blood related uncle!
Pansy: Who’s the cheesy one between you two?
Draco: Harry, definitely. You know, one time he literally stood outside of my Manor singing a song to me. It was so cheesy
Harry: You cried
Draco: ...still
Neville: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Longbottom?
Theodore: ...No
Neville: Why not?
Theodore: ...Longbottom’s weird
Ron: Come on, Pansy. I mean, you can't even eat alone in a restaurant
Pansy: I can too eat by myself!
Ron: When have you ever?
Pansy: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Ron: Well, certain other people take 2 hours to eat a bowl of soup!
Pansy: Oh, please, you INHALE your food!
Ron: I grew up with Ginny and 5 brothers. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat!