Pansy: My mother told me to stay away from boys when I was young, and if they come close, I just have to back away

    Pansy: Ten years later, I’m a lesbian

    Pansy: So it turns out pretty good actually

    Hermione: Is this how you flirt?

    Pansy: Is it working?

    Pansy: Oh, that seems heavy, can I give you a hand?

    Hermione: You’re pointing at my boobs

    Pansy: ...your point being?

    Pansy: You ever laugh so hard you grab your boobs?

    Hermione: No, and it also doesn’t explain why your hands are on mine

    Pansy: Hermione, come on, don’t be mad

    Ginny: What’s wrong?

    Hermione: Pansy didn’t know we were going on a date last night

    Ginny: You didn’t know you were on a date?

    Pansy: I did not—okay, I did not know! But who knows if you just wanna have dinner with me as friends or more?

    Hermione: We kissed in front of my door!

    Pansy: It could have been a friendly kiss between girls! I didn’t realise!

    Hermione: I invited you inside, Pansy

    Pansy: I’m a lesbian, it gets really confusing sometimes!

    Hermione: ...

    Hermione: Look, I got another O on the test!

    Pansy: Why do you have to be on top of the class when you can be on top of me?

    McGonagall: Miss Parkinson, we’re still in class

    Pansy: ...right, sorry Professor

    Pansy: I know why you don’t like riding brooms

    Hermione: Why?

    Pansy: Because you’re a lesbian

    Hermione: We’re married

    Pansy: I know!

    Pansy: You know why I don’t like wands?

    Hermione: Is this one of those times you’d make a lame joke?

    Pansy: No

    Hermione: Okay, why don’t you like wands?

    Pansy *laughs*: Because I’m a lesbian. Get it?

    Hermione *sighs*: You’re lucky I married you

    Pansy: Is that glasses you have on?

    Hermione: Yeah, I need one to read

    Pansy: You look...nice in it

    Hermione: Oh, really?

    Pansy: Yeah

    Ron: ...

    Ron: So should I leave or—okay you’re already kissing, I’m just gonna go

    Pansy: I broke my neck yesterday

    Ron: Are you alright?

    Pansy: Yeah, I’m fine now, it was at midnight and Hermione healed it immediately

    Draco: broke your neck at midnight? How did that happen?

    Hermione *blushing*: Well, it’s my fault actually

    Draco: ...oh wow

    Ron: Wow what?

    Draco: ...

    Ron: ...

    Draco: ...

    Ron: ...oh wow

    Pansy: ...I mean look at Hermione, my wife is so beautiful, I just love her so much, she’s intelligent, kind—

    Hermione: Pansy, this is Harry and Draco’s wedding, you’re supposed to say your Maid of Honour’s speech!

    Pansy: Well I’m getting into it!

    Pansy: I like you

    Hermione: Why?

    Pansy: You’re so disciplined, so organised, you’re the definition of everything good in this world

    Hermione: I set Snape on fire once

    Pansy: ...I love you

    Hermione: ...

    Hermione: This shirt is 350 Galleons?

    Pansy: Down from 700 Galleons. You’re saving like...200 Galleons

    Hermione: Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today

    Hermione: Why are you giggling?

    Pansy: Nothing

    Hermione: Pansy

    Pansy: Alright, you’re holding the book Harry and Draco just did it on yesterday

    Hermione: ...

    Hermione: I’m so torn between cleaning the book or burning it

    Hermione: So Pansy had her first driving lesson today

    Harry: How did it go?

    Hermione: Lots of screaming, overall it’s fine, but we gotta go visit Ron in the hospital now

    Draco: What? Why?

    Pansy: I kinda accidentally hit him

    Harry & Draco: Kinda?

    Pansy: Hermione, I need you to unfold your legs

    Hermione: Why?

    Pansy: You’re squashing my dinner

    Hermione: ...

    Hermione: ...and that’s the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising life’s triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago

    Pansy: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story

    Hermione: You can’t read it because whoever wrote it was Russian

    Pansy: I don’t care how fast they were writing, it makes no sense

    Ron: Wow, you and Hermione sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.

    Pansy: ...Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let you do it

    Pansy: Hermione, this is the hardest thing that I've ever had to say to you

    Hermione: ...

    Pansy: I had always assumed that when you got serious about interior design, I was going to love your ideas. Because I love you. I hate your ideas. I hate them almost as much as I love you, which is so much.

    Hermione: I have to stop you right there. I appreciate the fact that you are a very dramatic person, but the next time you start a conversation with, "This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to say to you," it better end with, "I'm not a lesbian anymore," "I found a lump in my chest," or, "He came out of nowhere, help me get the blood off of my dress."

    Pansy: There’s a fire in the Common Room! Quick! Grab two things you love!

    Pansy: *grabs Hermione’s boobs*

    Hermione *sigh*: ...Pansy

    Draco: ...

    Draco: Harry, put your hands off my arse

    Harry: What? It’s the two things I love!