Ron: Are you staying for the party?
Draco: I can’t, I’m leaving early to see a Quidditch match later. Kings versus Blackhawks
Ron: Wow, they can call a team that? I’ve never heard of them. Is Blaise playing?
Draco: Black HAWKS!
Ron: …oh
Ron: Are you staying for the party?
Draco: I can’t, I’m leaving early to see a Quidditch match later. Kings versus Blackhawks
Ron: Wow, they can call a team that? I’ve never heard of them. Is Blaise playing?
Draco: Black HAWKS!
Ron: …oh
Fleur: You need to learn how to stand up for yourself
Draco: Do you know how easy that is for you to say?
Fleur: No, nothing in English is easy for me to say
Fleur: You need to learn how to stand up for yourself
Draco: Do you know how easy that is for you to say?
Fleur: No, nothing in English is easy for me to say
Draco *picking out clothes*: Hmm, okay Harry, assuming our house is on fire, I only have time to grab one shirt. Which one do I take?
Harry: The correct answer is “Take our kids”
Draco *picking out clothes*: Hmm, okay Harry, assuming our house is on fire, I only have time to grab one shirt. Which one do I take?
Harry: The correct answer is “Take our kids”
Draco: There’s nothing gays hate more than when people treat us like women
Draco: We are not. We don’t want to go to your baby showers. We don’t have a time of the month. We don’t love pink
Harry: Well, you love pink
Draco: No, pink loves me
Draco: There’s nothing gays hate more than when people treat us like women
Draco: We are not. We don’t want to go to your baby showers. We don’t have a time of the month. We don’t love pink
Harry: Well, you love pink
Draco: No, pink loves me
Draco: Every new generation thinks they have cracked the code on child rearing. What's the latest theory that Pansy and Hermione are using to teach their kids? Never say "no”
Draco: I say "no" every day in this house, the kids always listen
Harry *winks*: But at night, he’s a "yes" machine
Draco: No
Harry: ...
Harry: You’re probably one of those beautiful men who doesn’t even know it
Draco: No, I know it
Draco: Every new generation thinks they have cracked the code on child rearing. What's the latest theory that Pansy and Hermione are using to teach their kids? Never say "no”
Draco: I say "no" every day in this house, the kids always listen
Harry *winks*: But at night, he’s a "yes" machine
Draco: No
Harry: ...
Pansy: So how was the meeting with Draco’s parents?
Harry: Well, halfway through dinner, I told Draco that whenever he had the urge to lash out at his father, he should just squeeze my hand instead
Harry: Ron had to cut the wedding ring off me, Pansy, off
Pansy: Oh...
Harry: You’re probably one of those beautiful men who doesn’t even know it
Draco: No, I know it
Pansy: So how was the meeting with Draco’s parents?
Harry: Well, halfway through dinner, I told Draco that whenever he had the urge to lash out at his father, he should just squeeze my hand instead
Harry: Ron had to cut the wedding ring off me, Pansy, off
Pansy: Oh...
Hermione: What am I most afraid of? Hmm. Let’s see. Global warming…and getting an “E” in exams
Luna: The Floo flaring up in the middle of the night
Ginny: That I’m too much of a perfectionist
Luna: Honey, this isn’t a job interview
Ginny: Oh…Job interviews
Ron: Nothing
Blaise: Yeah, right. What about the spiders?
Ron: Oh, I don’t like them. They’re shifty
Blaise *smirk*: Okay
Pansy: Never getting my Apparition’s licence. Or getting one and the picture sucks
Neville: Dying alone
Harry: Losing Draco
Draco: Aww…
Draco: Hotel bedspreads
Harry: …
Harry, to their friends: We were called into the Headmistress’s office one week before little James’s graduation. That can mean only one of two things
Harry: Either he’s gonna be valedictorian
Harry: Or they're giving an award for sexiest dad
Draco: ...
Draco: We're very proud of James
Harry, to their friends: We were called into the Headmistress’s office one week before little James’s graduation. That can mean only one of two things
Harry: Either he’s gonna be valedictorian
Harry: Or they're giving an award for sexiest dad
Draco: ...
Draco: We're very proud of James
*while playing Poker*
Harry, *to Lily Luna*: Okay, do you have any queens?
Lily *looks at her dads*: Yeah, two big ones
Draco: Okay, you know what? It was funny the first time. Now it's just getting mean
*while playing Poker*
Harry, *to Lily Luna*: Okay, do you have any queens?
Lily *looks at her dads*: Yeah, two big ones
Draco: Okay, you know what? It was funny the first time. Now it's just getting mean
Harry: *lean in and kiss Draco*
Draco: *avoid him*
Harry: What's all that about? Are mad at me or something?
Draco: I don't know. Did you do something to make me mad? Because then I am. But if you didn't, then I am not
Harry: I didn't do anything
Draco: Then I am not mad
Harry: You want to tell me what I did?
Draco: Do you want to tell me what you did?
Harry: I don't know what I did
Draco: Then I don't know what you did
Harry: ...
Scorpius: Do we really need to do this?
James: It’s our parents’ anniversary, of course we’re surprising them with breakfast in bed
Lily: Yeah and it’s because they’re impossible to buy for
Scorpius: Well…We’ve never really tried
James: Okay, ready? One, two, three *opens the bedroom door* Surprise *sees Draco and Harry doing it under the blanket*
James & Scorpius & Lily *screaming: NO NO NO NO!
Draco: NO! I’M SORRY!
Harry: NOTHING IS HAPPENING!
Draco: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Harry: It’s okay. Maybe they didn’t see anything
Draco: Sweetie, they screamed. They dropped a tray of dishes and they ran out of here like they were on fire
Harry: You were on fire, honey
Draco: Really? You’re still going?
Harry: Forgive me for thinking your zesty performance deserves some praise
Draco: Harry, our children are downstairs right now, and they’re probably traumatized
Harry: Oh, come on. I’m sure it’s not that bad
*meanwhile*
Scorpius: *throw water at his face*
James: I can still see it!
Scorpius: I can’t believe that just happened
Lily: What were they doing?
James: Nothing
Lily: Whatever it was, it looked like Dad was winning
Scorpius: IT! They were doing “it”!
James: She has no idea what you’re talking about
Lily: Sex?
Scorpius: Yes!
Lily: I know what sex is, Scorp. It’s when two people take off their underpants and then get into the bed
James: Oh god STOP talking!