Pansy: My mother told me to stay away from boys when I was young, and if they come close, I just have to back away
Pansy: Ten years later, I’m a lesbian
Pansy: So it turns out pretty good actually
Hermione: Is this how you flirt?
Pansy: Is it working?
Pansy: Oh, that seems heavy, can I give you a hand?
Hermione: You’re pointing at my boobs
Pansy: ...your point being?
Pansy: You ever laugh so hard you grab your boobs?
Hermione: No, and it also doesn’t explain why your hands are on mine
Pansy: Hermione, come on, don’t be mad
Ginny: What’s wrong?
Hermione: Pansy didn’t know we were going on a date last night
Ginny: You didn’t know you were on a date?
Pansy: I did not—okay, I did not know! But who knows if you just wanna have dinner with me as friends or more?
Hermione: We kissed in front of my door!
Pansy: It could have been a friendly kiss between girls! I didn’t realise!
Hermione: I invited you inside, Pansy
Pansy: I’m a lesbian, it gets really confusing sometimes!
Hermione: ...
Pansy: Is that glasses you have on?
Hermione: Yeah, I need one to read
Pansy: You look...nice in it
Hermione: Oh, really?
Pansy: Yeah
Ron: ...
Ron: So should I leave or—okay you’re already kissing, I’m just gonna go
Hermione: Pansy, I told you, that is not the correct way to cast a spell
Pansy: I don’t see why “Wingardium Levioslay” isn’t right
Hermione: ...
Pansy: I broke my neck yesterday
Ron: Are you alright?
Pansy: Yeah, I’m fine now, it was at midnight and Hermione healed it immediately
Draco: So...you broke your neck at midnight? How did that happen?
Hermione *blushing*: Well, it’s my fault actually
Draco: ...oh wow
Ron: Wow what?
Draco: ...
Ron: ...
Draco: ...
Ron: ...oh wow
Pansy: ...I mean look at Hermione, my wife is so beautiful, I just love her so much, she’s intelligent, kind—
Hermione: Pansy, this is Harry and Draco’s wedding, you’re supposed to say your Maid of Honour’s speech!
Pansy: Well I’m getting into it!
Pansy: I like you
Hermione: Why?
Pansy: You’re so disciplined, so organised, you’re the definition of everything good in this world
Hermione: I set Snape on fire once
Pansy: ...I love you
Hermione: ...
Hermione: Look, I got another O on the test!
Pansy: Why do you have to be on top of the class when you can be on top of me?
McGonagall: Miss Parkinson, we’re still in class
Pansy: ...right, sorry Professor
Pansy: I know why you don’t like riding brooms
Hermione: Why?
Pansy: Because you’re a lesbian
Hermione: We’re married
Pansy: I know!
Pansy: You know why I don’t like wands?
Hermione: Is this one of those times you’d make a lame joke?
Pansy: No
Hermione: Okay, why don’t you like wands?
Pansy *laughs*: Because I’m a lesbian. Get it?
Hermione *sighs*: You’re lucky I married you
Hermione: This shirt is 350 Galleons?
Pansy: Down from 700 Galleons. You’re saving like...200 Galleons
Hermione: Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today
Lesbians united!
Pansy: Is that glasses you have on?
Hermione: Yeah, I need one to read
Pansy: You look...nice in it
Hermione: Oh, really?
Pansy: Yeah
Ron: ...
Ron: So should I leave or—okay you’re already kissing, I’m just gonna go
Pansy: Hermione, I need you to unfold your legs
Hermione: Why?
Pansy: You’re squashing my dinner
Hermione: ...
Hermione: ...and that’s the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising life’s triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago
Pansy: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story
Pansy: I broke my neck yesterday
Ron: Are you alright?
Pansy: Yeah, I’m fine now, it was at midnight and Hermione healed it immediately
Draco: So...you broke your neck at midnight? How did that happen?
Hermione *blushing*: Well, it’s my fault actually
Draco: ...oh wow
Ron: Wow what?
Draco: ...
Ron: ...
Draco: ...
Ron: ...oh wow
Pansy: ...I mean look at Hermione, my wife is so beautiful, I just love her so much, she’s intelligent, kind—
Hermione: Pansy, this is Harry and Draco’s wedding, you’re supposed to say your Maid of Honour’s speech!
Pansy: Well I’m getting into it!
Pansy: I like you
Hermione: Why?
Pansy: You’re so disciplined, so organised, you’re the definition of everything good in this world
Hermione: I set Snape on fire once
Pansy: ...I love you
Hermione: ...
