I like memes and cute shit, I also write stuff
I like memes and cute shit, I also write stuff
If anyone I'd looking for something to read, can check out my book. Would really appreciate some support on it.
It's called Miss High and Mighty.
Bit of romance, bit of action
so i found nasa's site where you can look what they found in space on your birthday and i looked what they found on mark's, ethan's, robin's, sean's and my birthday
(the year isnt their or my birth year)
MARK: Quasar MC2 1635+119
On June 28 in 2005
ETHAN: Galaxy NGC 7714
On October 24 in 2011
ROBIN: Galaxy ESO 243-49
On September 24 in 2010
SEAN: Thackeray's Globules
On February 7 in 1999
MINE: Galaxy NGC 3949
On October 1 in 2001
it's really really fascinating and interesting to see ✨
January 21, 2000 my exact birthday, that's so cool
Reflection nebula NGC 1999
Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….
Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).
Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here
the time is now
ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda
it’s called the purple ramjet
which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide
shove a vase up your ass
not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls
i call it the matterhorn
cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through
i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises
of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”
I call this one the Megahorny
Just cram an entire table lamp up there
Me every time this post crosses my dash:
My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.
I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog
Compiling some of the best ones from the replies-
How you gonna do us like that bruh???
M U S H R O O M
Every time it comes back it brings another gut punch huh
Yes, it's back, I get a new bout of chuckles each time
Me @ writers: you just make that shit up from your brain???
*squints at the three lines in Word that have remained unchanged for weeks* In theory
We make that shit up in our brain and sometimes that’s where it stays
On the occasion it does come out on paper, ot most definitely sometimes turns into another shit
For me at least
mark and ethan: this channel will be deleted in one year
me: im gonna delete that channel right now and then my own existence because not even a year has passed, im gonna be dead
They will ruin us, we will be changed people after this year and anyone who joins the community after this will meet broken veterans of the weirdmageddon that we survived and none of us will find the words to explain it.
i am already ruined. i am a changed woman.
We will also have no concrete proof to show, which is even more disconcerting
Enter the year you were born on the gif area and post what you get.
Fuck. I feel old
I’ll take it.
omg babe 😂😂😂
Intellectually, I know I’m not old. But emotionally?
s u r e
Um this movie was released in ‘92 and I was released in ‘94 so I’m not entirely sure why that happened.
EDIT: Ignore what I wrote, this is the sequel, which WAS 1994, my bad.
Well... I can explain ?
YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS
one day this comic will reach a million notes and then i’m going to quit my job and become a couch
Huh? What’s this? I don’t remember ordering something that big.
Oh, it’s a sofa? I already have one, though…
Hang on, my job sent me this? Is this some sort of bonus or something?
Huh??? It’s empty?? Then why was it so heavy…
Oh hang on what’s this?
I’m not sure I can reach it…
Everyone who isn’t reblogging this version is a coward and a villain
This is feckin awesome
a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore
by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore
That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.
Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining
This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.
Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes
Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”
Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”
When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?
And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking
This is so important
It's too early in the morning for me to be having my mind blown but yes
Hear me out...
"Don't you wanna be free?" A reprise of "I don't wanna be free" about how great is the outside world and why would you ever want to stay in a prison?
I can’t write songs either, but for you and this great idea.....
Your home? This place? Why would anyone, make prison their home? For inmates there, terror abounds, knowing if they slip up they’ll be six under ground They’re killing themselves, to stay there and live, while I’m safe in my own home, no need for a shiv You can’t be living in prison, there’s nothing that you can do, you’ll soon be paying, all your karmic dues. Every day I wake up, have that same hot shower, sure I pay the water bill, but I have other powers. I can go, travel way past that yard, can do all I want, alone with no guards There’s still nothing, more exquisite, then when we have our 14-minute conjugal visits, sure I know you have the gang Jimmy the Pickle, and Shithole Hank, but when you’re free, there’s no need for a tank. Yes Bam-Bam, and Tiny, and Sparkles McGee, but you know they’re all scumbags, why won’t you come with me? Don’t you wanna be free? (Don’t you wanna be free?) You call that luxury? (You call that luxury?) I tried a prison break, hard time’s not that great. You’re better off here with me (You’re better off here with me!) I mean I’m not bourgeoisie (No need to be bourgeoisie) But it’s so nice in out here in the world beyond You can get help after you killed your mom... No! Don’t you wanna be free? Come and live with me! Yeah! Don’t you wanna be free? Get real amenities It’s awful living life in there It’s not too hard to be a thousandaire In there you’d have no chance to grow old, So I’m just praying, you’ll try for parole Cause don’t you wanna be free?
Ok so I wrote this in half an hour, if anyone wants to get inspired by this or make some changes, feel free, please tag me so I can see, thank you so much @the-moon-pal for this wonderful idea.
This,,, this is fucking precious,,,
Tears, tears everyFUCKINGwhere
I think it was before I started posting story concepts on tumblr but I had an old concept called ‘apocalyptia’ which was a dark comedy about a world where every apocalypse movie premise happened simultaneously
The big joke was that all these HUGE disasters cancelled each other out. A bunch of shit flooding kept the zombies contained. The super intelligent apes stopped global warming. The leather-clad motorcycle murder gangs intimidate the alien invaders.
Everything sucks in like 8 overlapping ways but it’s just become the norm at this point. There’s a guy named Cannibal Jack that people trust to cook for them for some reason.
The main character is a recluse with a shotgun who just wants to sit in her shack and give cynical advice to passing young people, but unfortunately, her younger brother and only surviving family member is a conman with his fingers in every stupid decision being made within a ten mile radius
The brother’s name is Sal, which is short for SOMETHING but he changes his answer every time. He seems to think this qualifies as an alias, and bizarrely, it usually works. Notable ‘definitely Sal’s real name’ options include Salt, Salmon, Salamander, and Salad.
His sister’s name is Marian, occasionally called Misery Marian. It is a running joke that young characters think this is a reference to her bad attitude, but anyone who actually CALLS her that is clearly terrified of her for some unspecified reason.
Sal’s got an on-again off-again business partner by the name of Kent Bardsley, who is just.... SO irresponsibly horny. Sal’s motivation is money, but Kent’s is sex. He keeps getting run out of town for sleeping with important people’s wives. He’s an idiot, but he’s not a conman like Sal, he just helps him with his schemes as an in to towns so he can visit his assortment of fuckbuddies.
The joke of Kent’s character is that the ‘apocalypse’ he’s part of is conservative scaremongering about sexual freedom destroying society. He gets a last name because while Sal calls him Kenny, Marian calls him ‘Bardsley’ with deep contempt.
The fuck types of our characters so far:
Marian: fuck off
Sal: fuck you, pay me
Kent: fuck me
Cannibal Jack: what the fuck
There’s an alien named Glipix who is investigating why the invasion failed and her analysis tends to boil down to ‘damn bitch you really live like this?’
Kent is really into her but his flirting goes right over her head. Marian’s the only one she respects anyways.
Kent: Hey, you looking to get those eggs fertilized, beautiful?
Glipix: What pollinators are operating on this horrible planet? Did you see one? I need to speak with them if you did.
I have a mental image for a TV opening where it’s Marian at like. 12. watching some apocalypse happen through a window and saying “The world ended when I was a girl...” in a really serious tone, and then it pans out to show like 6 other apocalypses happening and her voice turns sarcastic and she says “about thirty fucking times, actually.”
Alright here’s more content for you guys:
—Marian is 46 and spent her 20s and early 30s as a mad max style motorcycle gang member. ‘Misery Marian’ was her moniker while she was LEADING one of these gangs.
—Sal and Kent are somehow unaware of this.
—Sal’s apocalypse is capitalism. Also Godzilla.
—I’m not kidding about that, Sal and Marian’s parents were killed by a giant dinosaur that still sometimes shows up to bother Sal.
Somebody get Taika on the horn STAT.
This is the single greatest plot ever in yhr history of plots. Nothing will ever compare to this glorious masterpiece.