@dijapija249
DijaPija

I like memes and cute shit, I also write stuff

Posts
97
Last update
2020-11-21 21:34:06

    If anyone I'd looking for something to read, can check out my book. Would really appreciate some support on it.

    It's called Miss High and Mighty.

    Bit of romance, bit of action

    https://anystories.page.link/Nik7

    an0m-aly

    so i found nasa's site where you can look what they found in space on your birthday and i looked what they found on mark's, ethan's, robin's, sean's and my birthday

    (the year isnt their or my birth year)

    MARK: Quasar MC2 1635+119

    On June 28 in 2005

    ETHAN: Galaxy NGC 7714

    On October 24 in 2011

    ROBIN: Galaxy ESO 243-49

    On September 24 in 2010

    SEAN: Thackeray's Globules

    On February 7 in 1999

    MINE: Galaxy NGC 3949

    On October 1 in 2001

    it's really really fascinating and interesting to see ✨

    check yours here: https://www.nasa.gov/content/goddard/what-did-hubble-see-on-your-birthday

    dijapija249

    January 21, 2000 my exact birthday, that's so cool

    Reflection nebula NGC 1999

    prostheticknowledge

    Dildo Generator

    Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

    Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

    Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

    smashbrethren

    the time is now

    3dboyfriends

    hell yeah

    yunghau5
    image

    ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

    caterjunes
    image

    it’s called the purple ramjet

    jolys

    which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

    jimblespage

    shove a vase up your ass

    lord-kitschener

    not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

    fan-troll
    image

    i call it the matterhorn

    bronzebasilisk

    cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

    picklespickleyama

    i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

    teapotsahoy

    of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

    furiousfran
    image

    I call this one the Megahorny

    Just cram an entire table lamp up there

    kingoftheunderground

    Me every time this post crosses my dash:

    recreationallyscolded

    My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

    broadwaytheanimatedseries

    I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog

    in3ffable-husbands

    Compiling some of the best ones from the replies-

    ragingbookdragon

    How you gonna do us like that bruh???

    ivoryjaderose
    image

    M U S H R O O M

    sydario

    Every time it comes back it brings another gut punch huh

    dijapija249

    Yes, it's back, I get a new bout of chuckles each time

    battenthecrosshatches

    Me @ writers: you just make that shit up from your brain???

    infinitelyblankpage

    *squints at the three lines in Word that have remained unchanged for weeks* In theory

    excuseme-howdareyou

    We make that shit up in our brain and sometimes that’s where it stays

    dijapija249

    On the occasion it does come out on paper, ot most definitely sometimes turns into another shit

    For me at least

    an0m-aly

    mark and ethan: this channel will be deleted in one year

    me: im gonna delete that channel right now and then my own existence because not even a year has passed, im gonna be dead

    fairyofsomething

    They will ruin us, we will be changed people after this year and anyone who joins the community after this will meet broken veterans of the weirdmageddon that we survived and none of us will find the words to explain it.

    an0m-aly

    i am already ruined. i am a changed woman.

    dijapija249

    We will also have no concrete proof to show, which is even more disconcerting

    spectorsblog

    Enter the year you were born on the gif area and post what you get.

    curiouswinekitten2

    Fuck. I feel old

    purple-mantis

    I’ll take it.

    tomsrebeleyebrow

    omg babe 😂😂😂

    3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat

    Intellectually, I know I’m not old. But emotionally?

    extremeloser

    Yee boiiii

    lthekity

    Interesting

    captainschmoe

    Um this movie was released in ‘92 and I was released in ‘94 so I’m not entirely sure why that happened.

    EDIT: Ignore what I wrote, this is the sequel, which WAS 1994, my bad.

    dijapija249

    Well... I can explain ?

    dredsina

    YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS

    dredsina

    one day this comic will reach a million notes and then i’m going to quit my job and become a couch

    dredsina

    Huh? What’s this? I don’t remember ordering something that big.

    Oh, it’s a sofa? I already have one, though…

    Hang on, my job sent me this? Is this some sort of bonus or something?

    dredsina

    Huh??? It’s empty?? Then why was it so heavy…

    Oh hang on what’s this?

    I’m not sure I can reach it…

    dredsina
    image

    Oh crap!!!!

    image
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    dredsina

    Everyone who isn’t reblogging this version is a coward and a villain

    dijapija249

    This is feckin awesome

    ufemmeo

    a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

    by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

    • never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.
    • find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.
    • talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore
    • picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else
    • if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.
    wildlyannoyingdoofus

    … 8|

    That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

    colacharm

    Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

    808lien

    This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

    maramahan

    Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

    Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

    Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

    When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

    And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

    chiibbo

    This is so important

    dijapija249

    It's too early in the morning for me to be having my mind blown but yes

    the-moon-pal

    Hear me out...

    "Don't you wanna be free?" A reprise of "I don't wanna be free" about how great is the outside world and why would you ever want to stay in a prison?

    former-champion

    I can’t write songs either, but for you and this great idea.....

    Your home? This place? Why would anyone, make prison their home? For inmates there, terror abounds, knowing if they slip up they’ll be six under ground They’re killing themselves, to stay there and live, while I’m safe in my own home, no need for a shiv You can’t be living in prison, there’s nothing that you can do, you’ll soon be paying, all your karmic dues. Every day I wake up, have that same hot shower, sure I pay the water bill, but I have other powers. I can go, travel way past that yard, can do all I want, alone with no guards There’s still nothing, more exquisite, then when we have our 14-minute conjugal visits, sure I know you have the gang Jimmy the Pickle, and Shithole Hank, but when you’re free, there’s no need for a tank. Yes Bam-Bam, and Tiny, and Sparkles McGee, but you know they’re all scumbags, why won’t you come with me? Don’t you wanna be free? (Don’t you wanna be free?) You call that luxury? (You call that luxury?) I tried a prison break, hard time’s not that great. You’re better off here with me (You’re better off here with me!) I mean I’m not bourgeoisie (No need to be bourgeoisie) But it’s so nice in out here in the world beyond You can get help after you killed your mom... No! Don’t you wanna be free? Come and live with me! Yeah! Don’t you wanna be free? Get real amenities It’s awful living life in there It’s not too hard to be a thousandaire In there you’d have no chance to grow old, So I’m just praying, you’ll try for parole Cause don’t you wanna be free?

    Ok so I wrote this in half an hour, if anyone wants to get inspired by this or make some changes, feel free, please tag me so I can see, thank you so much @the-moon-pal​ for this wonderful idea.

    sketchy-scribs-n-doods

    This,,, this is fucking precious,,,

    dijapija249

    Tears, tears everyFUCKINGwhere

    xenosaurus

    I think it was before I started posting story concepts on tumblr but I had an old concept called ‘apocalyptia’ which was a dark comedy about a world where every apocalypse movie premise happened simultaneously

    xenosaurus

    The big joke was that all these HUGE disasters cancelled each other out. A bunch of shit flooding kept the zombies contained. The super intelligent apes stopped global warming. The leather-clad motorcycle murder gangs intimidate the alien invaders.

    xenosaurus

    Everything sucks in like 8 overlapping ways but it’s just become the norm at this point. There’s a guy named Cannibal Jack that people trust to cook for them for some reason.

    xenosaurus

    The main character is a recluse with a shotgun who just wants to sit in her shack and give cynical advice to passing young people, but unfortunately, her younger brother and only surviving family member is a conman with his fingers in every stupid decision being made within a ten mile radius

    xenosaurus

    The brother’s name is Sal, which is short for SOMETHING but he changes his answer every time. He seems to think this qualifies as an alias, and bizarrely, it usually works. Notable ‘definitely Sal’s real name’ options include Salt, Salmon, Salamander, and Salad.

    His sister’s name is Marian, occasionally called Misery Marian. It is a running joke that young characters think this is a reference to her bad attitude, but anyone who actually CALLS her that is clearly terrified of her for some unspecified reason.

    xenosaurus

    Sal’s got an on-again off-again business partner by the name of Kent Bardsley, who is just.... SO irresponsibly horny. Sal’s motivation is money, but Kent’s is sex. He keeps getting run out of town for sleeping with important people’s wives. He’s an idiot, but he’s not a conman like Sal, he just helps him with his schemes as an in to towns so he can visit his assortment of fuckbuddies.

    The joke of Kent’s character is that the ‘apocalypse’ he’s part of is conservative scaremongering about sexual freedom destroying society. He gets a last name because while Sal calls him Kenny, Marian calls him ‘Bardsley’ with deep contempt.

    xenosaurus

    The fuck types of our characters so far:

    Marian: fuck off

    Sal: fuck you, pay me

    Kent: fuck me

    Cannibal Jack: what the fuck

    xenosaurus

    There’s an alien named Glipix who is investigating why the invasion failed and her analysis tends to boil down to ‘damn bitch you really live like this?’

    Kent is really into her but his flirting goes right over her head. Marian’s the only one she respects anyways.

    xenosaurus

    Kent: Hey, you looking to get those eggs fertilized, beautiful?

    Glipix: What pollinators are operating on this horrible planet? Did you see one? I need to speak with them if you did.

    Kent: uh

    xenosaurus

    I have a mental image for a TV opening where it’s Marian at like.  12.  watching some apocalypse happen through a window and saying “The world ended when I was a girl...” in a really serious tone, and then it pans out to show like 6 other apocalypses happening and her voice turns sarcastic and she says “about thirty fucking times, actually.”

    xenosaurus

    Alright here’s more content for you guys:

    —Marian is 46 and spent her 20s and early 30s as a mad max style motorcycle gang member. ‘Misery Marian’ was her moniker while she was LEADING one of these gangs.

    —Sal and Kent are somehow unaware of this.

    —Sal’s apocalypse is capitalism. Also Godzilla.

    —I’m not kidding about that, Sal and Marian’s parents were killed by a giant dinosaur that still sometimes shows up to bother Sal.

    rcmclachlan

    Somebody get Taika on the horn STAT.

    dijapija249

    This is the single greatest plot ever in yhr history of plots. Nothing will ever compare to this glorious masterpiece.