I didn’t mean to turn my roommate into a mindless muscle drone. I just forgot to wash my hands after working on the nanobot project at the lab, and when I came home, I saw his workout pants on the ground and picked them up. I guess I transferred some of the nanobots to the fabric.

The next day, I saw him wearing the green shorts with a blank look on his face. “You okay?” I asked.

“All systems normal,” he said robotically.

“Were you going to the gym?” I asked.

He turned to look at me. “Unnecessary,” he said. “Initiate football team installation.”

As I watched, his body suddenly bulked and swelled with muscle, his arms and chest inflating like balloons before my eyes. He grew several inches as his body bulked, becoming a towering hunk.

“Oh shit,” I gasped, realizing the nanobots were in his system.

“Program complete,” he said. “Begin user review.”

He lifted his shirt so I could see his perfectly lean, sculpted body.

“Uh, looks good,” I said, trying to remember any of the verbal commands the nanobots had been programmed with.

“Initiating propagation,” he said, stepping toward me.

“Oh shit no!” I said, backing up. But I was too late. In two strides, he had me backed up against the wall, his arms pinning me as he leaned in for a kiss. I struggled, but he held my head in place as his tongue entered my mouth. It felt warm, tingly, and I could feel his saliva in my throat. I was infected.

“Fuck, I gotta disable these things,” I said, feeling the prickle of the nanobots entering my blood stream.

“Access denied,” said my roommate. “Initiate mascot installation.”

Mascot? Oh fuck. Instead of becoming a jock, I was about to be transformed into the school mascot. Just my luck that our mascot was a donkey.

“Dude, snap out of it!” I said, as I felt my body tingle with the tiny nanobots. “You gotta let meeeeeHAW go!”

“Access denied,” he said, pulling off my shirt. My chest was already darkening with brown fur.

“HAW!” I brayed. Fuck, I couldn’t stop. “HEE AWW! Fuck, man, you gotta get meeeeHAW to the lab!”

“Access denied,” he said, ripping off my pants. A tail swished over my ass – MY tail.

“HAWWW!” I brayed. “HAWWW!” I was in a panic. But why? What was going on? Didn’t we have a game coming up? I just needed to get out there and entertain the crowd. And also spread these nanobots. Yeah, that’s my job. Hawwwww.

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