@dpkin
Diaper Desires
Posts
2721
Last update
2022-04-24 05:41:52

    Been seeing a lot of posts recently on "diaper training" and the like. Some of the suggestions contained within disturb me and some are downright dangerous.

    As someone who has personally been wearing 24/7 for over a decade and whose wife is a "pull-ups by day, diapers by night" accident prone girl and genuine bedwetter let me say this.

    The best way to integrate dips into your life if "24/7" or "incontinence" is your goal is to simply wear them daily and use them whenever / wherever you have to. Over time (years) your body will adjust to the "new normal" of going potty in your pants as the need arises and eventually you will be going with very little, if any, warning or control.

    Please be aware that 24/7 diapering is very expensive and WILL lead to embarrassing situations with family, friends and the public at large NO MATTER HOW PREPARED YOU THINK YOU ARE.

    Ultimately, do what makes you happy... so long as no other persons are harmed in the process. Be informed, make smart choices and please don't endanger your health with questionable or risky practices hoping for quick rewards. NOTHING WORTH HAVING COMES QUICKLY OR EASILY.

    Thank you.

    On holding back the tide

    I was recently participating in a now-locked thread on ADISC (starpointrune et al., 2022). As you can see, there are no longer any posts from me in that thread. This is because my response to the thread started, as close as I can remember, as follows:

    Just as a heads up, "biological males" is not the preferred terminology. Since your question related directly to penises, "people with penises" would have been fine. :) [then my answer to the question]

    Within 12 hours, I had two replies, one telling me that "biological male" was "scientifically and medically accurate" and another one telling me that we're "not all members of the new faith." The concept of monovariate "biological sex" is not scientifically or medically accurate, and this is not a matter of "faith"; it's been the accepted scientific status quo for close to a century.

    As of this morning, ADISC moderators have deleted my post and the two posts responding to me and have locked the thread. This is better than simply deleting my post would have been, but I think it's a problem. It's not a problem for me, as such — one deleted post? I'll live — but it is a problem.

    To the best of my ability to determine, in terms of English-language AB/DL discussion communities with a relatively sensible community and a viably large user base and activity level, there is essentially a duopoly: ADISC and Daily Diapers. I have been aware of ADISC to varying degrees since it was reconstituted from TBDL.org in circa January 2008 (DomainTools, 2021), and in my experience, for that entire time, ADISC has been the more philosophically and politically conservative of the two, including after it became an 18+ community in ~2012. This comes out in a few ways.

    For example, assessing the two communities through a philosophical lens, DD maintains a forum specifically for the discussion of untraining and incontinence-by-choice, Incontinent-Desires, a subforum of Incontinence – Medical. ADISC, on the other hand, is, to my understanding, explicitly anti-untraining (Moo, 2019), and takes the position that "[d]eliberately making yourself incontinent counts as self-harm" (Moo, 2008/2022).

    DD maintains a forum specifically for the discussion of LGBTQ+ issues, Rainbow Diapers. ADISC's closest equivalent is either Sexuality or Sissy / Girls. This places gender-diverse members in an unenviable position:

  • Sexuality is an obvious choice because cisgender analyses of trans people have often framed us as a kind of Ultra Gay, hence our political alliance with queer cis people. However, ADISC's Sexuality forum "is for discussion of sexual topics and kinks outside of AB/DL," so if we go there we essentially accept characterising ourselves as inherently sexual.
  • Sissy / Girls is "For girls, LGs and sissies to discuss activities, clothes, gender identity, etc." It is the only ADISC forum which is explicitly specialised in gender identity. This puts trans women in the unenviable position of being grouped with sissies — we are very different! — and excludes trans men completely, because they aren't girls, LGs, or sissies.
  • DD's Site Rules explicitly include "Do not use hate speech[; t]his includes but is not limited to homophobia, racism and sexism" (Bettypooh, 2014). ADISC's Rules do not have any explicit provisions or implicit effects in that direction, and are limited to, "Be polite; be a positive influence; respect the law, respect yourself" (Moo, 2008/2022).

    DD maintains a couple of general discussion forums where political discussion seems to be at least viable — although relatively infrequent — specifically Scoop the Poop and The Rest of your Life!. ADISC previously maintained a Politics forum, but has since shut it down and imposed a site-wide "no politics" rule (Moo, 2022).

    I do not intend to convey the meaning that ADISC is institutionally bigoted. I have had the strong impression that ADISC moderators have used the latitude they are permitted in order to engage in relatively gentle enforcement. I also believe ADISC's policy direction is founded in the same laudable impulse which led to ADISC becoming an adults-only community, i.e., harm reduction.

    However, ADISC leadership's approach to this seems to be, more or less, holding the community to the political centre and holding that centre in the same place. I have concerns about whether this approach will be tenable in the long term; to remain in political stasis is to move politically without acknowledging it.

    "There are two demographics: normal and political." When I appeared as a cisgender man, I was normal. Now that I am openly a transgender woman, despite not having actually essentially changed as a person, I have been made political. Not forbidding hate speech, but forbidding politics, creates a moving and steadily tightening limit on the degree to which those considered "political" are afforded basic human respect, and their right to identify the absence of that respect.

    Over time, as more and more people who become eligible for membership either are born into a "political" demographic or consider that demographic to be unquestionably "normal," the community constricts its own inflow of membership and cuts off its own oxygen, losing its relevance and eventually its operational viability.

    I am not asking ADISC to do anything in particular. That's for them to decide. I just thought this was worth saying.

    References

    Bettypooh (2014, August 1). Site rules. Daily Diapers.

    DomainTools (2021, November 8). Whois record for ADisc.org. DomainTools.com.

    Moo (2022, January 23). The rules. ADISC. (Original post published 15 February 2008.)

    Moo (2019, May 4). Discussions — Incontinence — Do NOT try to become incontinent. ADISC.

    Moo (2022, January 23). About us — News — New rule: No politics. ADISC.

    starpointrune, lonnie, Chosen, VDP, fleckothefennec, TinkleTinkleLittleStar, & KitsuneFox (2022, February 22). Discussions — Diaper talk — Question for biological males. ADISC.org.

    A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost

    He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said, “Can you please help me, I don’t know what Hole I’m on.”

    She told him “You are one hole behind me. I’m on 7; you’re on 6.”

    He thanked her and continued playing golf.

    Later, he got lost again.

    He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed.

    “I’m sorry to bother you again but I’m lost; can you please tell me what hole I’m on.”

    She told him, “You are one hole behind me. I’m on 14; you are on 13.”

    Again, he thanked her and continued playing golf.

    When he finished he saw her in the clubhouse.

    He went up to her and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out.

    She accepted.

    As they were drinking and talking, he asked her what she did for a living.

    “I’m in sales,” she said.

    He replied, “No kidding; so am I.”

    “What do you sell?”

    She responded that it was too embarrassing to tell; but after he kept pleading to know what she sold, she finally said that she would tell him if he promised not to laugh.

    He promised.

    She said, “I sell sanitary napkins.”

    He immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically.

    She said, “You promised you wouldn’t laugh”.

    He replied (still with tears in his eyes), “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help it. I sell toilet paper….. I’m still one Hole behind you.”

    white-two-wet

    So, how goes being diapered 24/7? Are you still 24/7? Have you noticed any changes?

    It's kind of the same it's been for a while 😅. I am, I am! I've been 24/7 for about 2 years give or take, I think?

    I have! My peeing is much more automatic then before. I've noticed more soggy diapers without remembering going. And I've definitely started bedwetting much more often. I used to need to drink quite a bit of fluids for it to happen. Now it's almost any fluids before bed means a soggy morning.

    I've been SO happy with this progress 😊❤. To go from a guy who was so pee shy he couldn't pee anywhere he heard another voice. To someone who pees without even noticing, has been magical 😊.

    Thank you for the ask 😊.

    Pics from the other day, not my usual diaper-boy outfit. I was hanging out with few of my good vanilla guy friends, all of whom know I wear diapers.  I was in this thick wet preschool diaper, pretty well concealed, really unsure if they knew I was diapered, but my guess is they did.  To top it off, a diaper commercial came on while we were watching TV, I just about died inside, there were a few comments and snickers from my friends. Just thinking about the fact they know I’m still in diapers, all while I’m sitting next to them in a thick wet diaper like a two year old, makes my little flagpole go full salute in my diaper. 😳#diaperboy#stillindiapers#foreverindiapers#thickwetdiapers

    ONYX BROTHER OF THE YEAR.

    Kenzo ONYX

    My greatest achievement as a person in this community is to help find confidence in others by providing them with a space to be themselves.

    Because I was always denied that, even within the community.

    But I am here to say fuck that. The only standards we should live by our own. And we should vow to be 1000% to who we are and what this community means to us..

    Being a little in the leather community not only should me how different we can be, but it also showed me the value and affect we can have on people when we just step out and be ourselves.

    Many folx, in the community, have had the opportunity to step outside of there comfortzone to express there deepest secret to me. That they were indeed ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lovers) and that they still fight and hide the shame and trama that comes when people find out that they are part of this community.

    My only motive is to let the world know that

    WE ARE HERE

    We stand tall today and want to be heard and accepted. And if you dont accept us, that's okay because we are here are will will gather and create a space were we belong. As our siblings and LGBTQIA+ Ancestors did before us.

    So here is a cheers to being authentic and educating others about who we are.

    #ABDL #ProudLittle #ProudLeatherman

    serah-in-diapers

    Hey : )

    So, wow, it's been a while! I didn't really realize how long until I looked back for my last text post, and yeah, quite a while!

    If you have sent me messages or asks while I haven't been around, I do apologize as unfortunately with the hundreds and hundreds of those that have stacked up, there's not really realistically much chance that I'd be able to catch up on them, but, I did wanna make a post thingo to answer the main stuff I saw get asked ^^

    1. People concerned about my asthma / Covid

    Thank you so much for all of the concern from so many people! It's honestly insane to me that such a large amount of you cared about this one specific detail, but, at the same time, I think it shows what an overall wholesome community the untraining space can be <3 When you think about it, this part of the ABDL community that wants to become incontinent must be like, 1% of the overall kink or something and yet, in my experience, it's usually the most accepting and friendly! I suppose after all if you're at a point where you're cool with / actively want to make yourself incontinent, you also want to find other like-minded peoples and stick together to support one another! It's just really great to have a community like this I think!

    So my asthma is doing great actually, and muuuuuch better than where it was last time everyone was up to date. I admit it was really scary for a while, and my doctor even wanted to register me on this like, emergency patient risk thing for ambulances/hospitals at one point x.x But! Things seem to have gotten better, and, I think it's all thanks to the lovely drugs they have for asthma these days, lol, as well as probably all the time we get to spend indoors now because of Covid.

    Australia has handled Covid really well for the most part though, and I haven't caught it at all luckily! Colds and flus still really knock me about unfortunately because they also impair the lungs but, hey, better than dealing with Covid, so I can't complain too much.

    2. People telling me about my photos and content getting reposted / borrowed / whatever

    This one is another like, hey, look how awesome we are that so many of you want to keep an eye on that stuff for me! It's super kind of you! Unfortunately, this is just a fact of life on the Internet though, and there's ultimately not that much to be done about it really. Do I wish people wouldn't use my photos and pretend that they took them of themselves? Yes absolutely. Is there much to be done about it long term? No, not really.

    It might sound silly or whatever but hey, it's the Internet, people are gonna take things and repost things and do whatever they do all over the world wide web, and, it's cool ultimately. By posting pictures of myself publicly, and even writing publicly, I sort of accepted that that kind of thing would happen, so, I do appreciate all the heads up but, ultimately I'm not really gonna go around playing whack-a-mole with all the stuff that gets reposted elsewhere. It's sort of a shrug and move on thing for me, but, again, sooooo great that you all are trying to look out for me, and I really appreciate it <3

    3. People asking about me wearing 24/7, my incontinence, updates, am I still wearing, etc.

    This is a big one, I know, but, I'm gonna do my best to not ramble on for thousands of words like I tend to do, ha ha. Maybe I can rapid-fire the most important points in like, bold, so people who want to can just read those bits.

    Serah, are you still wearing 24/7?

    No!

    Serah, are you still incontinent?

    Yes!

    Serah, those are contradictory answers!


    I knoooooow!

    When did you stop wearing diapers full-time?

    It's hard for me to remember exactly what day it was, but, it was about October of last year. So, sometime in October 2020.

    Why did you stop wearing diapers full-time?

    Financial reasons! Like others, I was unfortunately impacted by Covid, and I eventually had to make the tough call to try and wean myself off diapers until things settled down some more.

    Was this super duper easy to do and you suddenly got back all of your control without any effort?

    No! It has been almost nine whole months since I started trying to retrain myself, and I still have regular accidents despite my best efforts.

    This has been as much of a learning experience for me as the initial untraining, and good lord, your body does not revert easily when you wear 24/7 for so long. I'm starting to think that theory that I saw about it taking like, the same amount of time to retrain as it did to untrain had some weight to it, because yeah, this is hard.

    It's hilarious honestly to me how much people think diapers are embarrassing because, seriously, I have had waaaaaay more embarrassing experiences in trying to get out of diapers than I have from all the time I spent wearing them 24/7. Like, not even joking.

    Wetting a diaper? Nobody notices anything.

    Wetting your clothes? That's hella obvious.

    Oh and I didn't just untrain my bladder did I? No no no, that'd be too easy xD

    Of course, I also have messy accidents from untraining my bowels, lol, and though those aren't usually as immediately obvious as wetting yourself, it's a real experience accidentally messing yourself without a diaper on, especially while out at a big party with friends or, when going for a simple run or, just because you happened to have a coffee and are too far from a bathroom.

    I definitely don't want to make you all think I'm miserable or anything though, so, I'll make sure to say that I'm not, it can just be stressful in the moment, ha ha. It is interesting from a more scientific perspective (you all know I love my science), and, usually, I do find it funny in retrospect. Luckily for me as well, as you'll probably all remember, I did tell my doctor and my family / parents about my incontinence while I still wore diapers 24/7 so, nobody has been particularly blindsided about me having control issues at least.

    I remember I did get some hate for telling my doctor about being incontinent (and leaving out that I did it on purpose) but, honestly it pays off having a medical person to talk to about control issues, and I still think it was a good idea, even if not everyone agrees with it. She's lovely about it and gives me useful tips for management and stuffs of my current issues.

    I also should say I don't have accidents every single day! I can definitely go for a few days without one. I'd say, as a rough estimate, I can probably go on average, like two or three days without accidentally wetting myself at least a little bit, and bowel-wise, I can probably manage two or three weeks in between messing myself as long as I try and be careful and watch what I eat.

    You do get desensitized to wetting yourself, I will say, and maybe that's why I've sort of plateaued a bit there. It's just so normal for me to wet myself some every few days that I kind of like... just shrug and move on? I should probably try and take it more seriously but, it's been a lot of work to even get to where I am now that I guess my excuse is that I'm sort of sick of putting in lots of effort there? I don't know exactly, but, that's what I suspect it is anyway.

    Messy accidents are definitely more eye-opening for me though, since those are pretty clothes ruining usually, haha, and aren't as easy to clean up as wetting yourself is. So maybe that's why I've made more progress there, but, at the same time, I have to be really careful about things I eat and I can't ever try and resist going to the bathroom if my body wants to mess, because yeah, too many experiences of urges just totally overpowering what my muscles are capable of holding.

    So, I have in fact rambled more and more, lol, but, I should probably leave it about there! I'm sure there's a ton I've missed but, hey, maybe ask some new questions after this update and I can try and cover anything I've missed xD I do plan on going back to diapers fulltime again when my financial situation is better, 110%, but for now, going without has certainly been an interesting, albeit wet and messy, experience that I am sort of glad to have for at least experience's sake, ha ha. Hope you've all been well since we last caught up too <3

    dpkin

    So glad to hear your are safe and doing well with everything going on! I was worried also do to your asthma concerns you outlined previously. I can't wait to hear more from your various takes and adventures! TTYL