The assumption that many aphobes make is that asexual people are actually just straight and somehow “repressed.” Not only is this untrue, it’s incredibly heteronormative. More on that in this week’s new episode!


    I don't know how to word this. Someone said that asexuals never do anything for the wider community, and I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. So I wondered if you had evidence to the contrary?

    I don't know how to word this. Someone said that asexuals never do anything for the wider community, and I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. So I wondered if you had evidence to the contrary?

    I’ve been thinking about this post for about a day and a half. I answer a lot of posts via my phone because it’s more accessible but I knew this one would have to wait until I had a keyboard and because of that I’ve been able to connect more thoughts about how misguided the person that said is. 

    Let’s first take a look about America’s over focus on “being independent”. How that is the most valuable thing you can be in this culture. How it’s inherently impossible. But this focus on “Well what did you do for us?” That question does not value community effort. It does not value effort that is by people that benefit something other than the self. 

    And because so many people’s focus is “Well what did you do” we have a  culture of celebrity and one of icons. Were we put people on a pedestal as if they were above, or better, or greater than the rest of us lowly people. 

    And at this first point you, but more probably that acephobe, might be thinking ‘what the hell, answer the question. What did aces do for the community? Which again, this is a misunderstanding how community building works. A community is a nebula to swirls around births ideas. An idea makes a footnote, long past it’s first thought. Decades or even centuries after the idea was first had. It doesn’t mean the last person “did it.”

    In at least America, there are extremely few people we can look at and say X did Y for the community. Even if you name 20 names. Those were the leaders. Or those were the ones who had the supreme court case that made it to the court. Not the countless others of cases. It ignores and places no value on those who fought, inspired, helped, or did some other duty that aided the whole. While leaders should be remembered, I think it’s very important that we don’t isolate ourselves into thinking “Well we only have [Icon Name Here].” It’s wildly untrue. 

    People who say want you to point to an celebrity with a shared label also ignore how English works in regards to labeling. And how labels historically are a overall in the grand scope of history a new invention. 

    An while aces directly challenge things like heteronormativity, compulsory sexuality, and rape culture. Each of those systems plays into the patriarchy, and white supremacy. And everything we do fights against those systems, and benefits those harmed by them. We also as individual people also fight in ways that may have nothing to do with asexuality but aim to keep the wider community safe. For example, I have an ace friend who is not an “queer activist” but has sewed and given out I dunno like 50 masks for people during this pandemic for free. Therefore literally enabling life to go on.

    Not only do I gotta point out the folly in “what have you done for me?” when it comes to human rights. White supremacy has made a lot of enemies, and it wouldn’t be wrong to say we aren’t free until we are all free because oppression of one kind is aided by another. I also gotta point out the vile implication that someone else’s rights are only worth fighting for because they may aid your specific needs.

    And if you believe that being queer, wherever personal label on the wide range of options, is inherently natural, then you cannot deny that aces or trans people or [label here] have always existed and always helped out. If you are looking for aces who helped, look at any human rights movement and see what was being done. I know there’s plenty of recorded history with aces and lesbians on women’s rights issues. But that doesn’t mean ace men weren’t doing things. History as a record is incomplete. If it wasn’t it you’d have to relive it nearly in real time.

    I also inherently hate this idea of “What did X group do for Y-over arching group”. I see this a lot from white people who are like fighting racism doesn’t help me. Despite the known history of black communities feeding the poor, or fighting for voting rights, and surely a countless number of things. The “oppressor class” whom ever it may be would rather have you believe that were only out for themselves. Because that way, if you aren’t an oppressor yourself, you don’t trust or value efforts of those who aren’t you either because you believe them useless to “your cause”. It’s not again not only untrue, but I think denies the truth that no one is this American idea of independent. We are all connected. 

    We are currently in the information age, and the internet has allowed us to better see our interconnection to each other. And I’m sure you, or maybe the person who asked that, wanted Name-Here, that has a wikipedia page that you can learn more about that like said fuck my own rights, I’m fighting for seemingly unrelated issue. I won’t give you evidence for that, because you don’t need it.

    Instead I hope you can see that the question bugged you for a reason, a good reason. But the answer, should be instead the realization that the asker just wanted to make you feel disconnected, not only from the community today, but from that nebulous timeless beauty that is humans working tirelessly, namelessly together for each other. Human history is full of so much cruelty to each other, but I think despite whatever oppressive system there is humans are social beings that like helping each other. And I think that’s fucking hopeful even in the darkest of times. 


    Yo its the tiktok anon again and I've been thinking like I see so much "ex-tumblr kid" or "tumblr hurt me by giving me labels to try that didnt work out for me" on tiktok and I was thinking about what someone (maybe you) said about all the like condescending(?) people leaving tumblr and going to Twitter but I think a lot of them landed on tiktok bc like Twitter im seeing a lot of recycled discourse on tiktok so...

    A different anon also pointed out that twitter and I very much assume tiktok skews younger. And this isn’t a “the youth” *shakes fist* type of post but more a byproduct of the younger or youngest generation on the internet being asked to learn on platforms that favor short, quick, headline long “hot takes” and how all generations play their part in that as well under a system of capitalism that means we constantly “”accelerate productivity””.

    Also I don’t think we can deny how much tiktoks get shared to twitter and Instagram stories. I used to see so many on Instagram that when tiktok started I was like is this just an app to make Instagram stories? And I know after this realization of how much of a highway those platforms are that I’m personally going to work on more accessibly protecting our communities history so when people do want to take a moment to slow down they can find it, while aces who do tiktok and do it well continue to do their thing.

    The glitter didn’t work, BTW.  That was all in the last layer and it all sunk to the bottom.  (The mold is upside down, so the last layer is the base.)  Did cause a few neat swirls and color mixes on the way down, though.

    Do I know what this is? Not really

    Do I want one? Yes

    It’s a shot glass, sort of.  But I’m not sure if the material is food safe and I also don’t drink, so it’s a...  I don’t know.  Candle holder maybe?  Pen holder?

    Beautiful, fantastic, every desk could use one! Ace ring holder?? Endless possibilities


    Shoutout to tiktok for thinking I wanna see anti-microlabel or gatekeeping tiktoks where they always start with someone being like "i thought pan ace when I was like 13 but now I know I'm just a leabian so therefore your identity is harmful and you should feel bad"

    Yikes! From what I understand of tiktik, it doesn’t like stop?? So can’t imagine how sucky it would be to just having a nice time and then just that happening. Do you follow this tiktok? It’s my fav ace there for sure.

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