Wal-Mart strip down
Nude Year Challenge 2018
Now the party season is over for most of us, let’s inject a bit of fun and excitement into the new year with a new naked photo challenge. Complete as many of the tasks from the list below before the end of January and post the photos to Tumblr with the tag #nude2018
Come on guys - who’s going to be the first to complete all 10 tasks? Stay safe and have fun!
Is this what cruising looks like?
This is my most asked-about post…here’s the story… I saw this hot guy in a sports bar but it was difficult to get a good look him from where I was standing. So, as I walked to the bathroom I pretended to be talking on the phone, but I was really recording him as I walked by. I didn’t see the look he gave me until later when I watched the video. Hope to run across him again one day…
Gay & Ashamed
Messening on Tumblr
As many of you know, the messaging system on tumblr sucked. The new method is a great improvement.
The beauty of it and the fun, is being able to chat with so many followers all over the world.
This improvement has been rather fantastic for me. The topics have varied and the honesty and openness has been a huge compliment.
If you read these text posts you know that part of what I love about my blog is the anonymity of it. By keeping my face pics at zero, not texting or sharing my phone number and not hosting, I am able to continue to be very open and honest. I don’t get into bullshit with people and because of my three ‘rules’ I don’t need to make things up, lie or hide. I can write about how I feel and my opinion, my sexual experience and past freely.
In many ways I am very naked on my blog and I enjoy that freedom.
One thing I have noticed over the last two years is how many of us, gay (bi) men or curious or straight, or trans, deal with is fear and shame.
I have dealt with it. In ways I am still dealing with it. I am not alone.
I knew I liked men by the time I was 8 years old. At that time I liked boys. I also lived in an environment where liking the same gender was essentially not allowed. I was taught that liking males was unacceptable, wrong, dirty, a sin, the litany of negative words that can be used goes on and on.
This caused me to live with shame and fear. Shame because I had feelings for males. Fear that someone would find out.
Again, I am not alone in this experience and it is happening right now all over the world. In some places discovery leads to death.
As I grew older I had to continue to deny myself these feelings. I had to hide. I had to pretend. I had to fear being found out. The issue I have with this is that feelings are natural and real. Regardless of right or wrong, feelings are just what they are and not lies.
In high school I had to hide my attraction to males even more than as a child. Locker rooms. Boys developing their bodies and turning into men. The beginning of pubic hair, facial hair, chest hair. It was torture!
I graduated form high school with only straight people. At least outwardly everyone was straight. At that point in time not one person I graduated with (over 500) was gay or lesbian. Not one person was out. Not one person was free to be themselves.
In college there were some people who had come out. Yet they were a very small number. Experimenting didn’t happen, at least for me. I didn’t see it nor had the opportunity.
My first, by choice sexual experience with a male was when I was 23.
I was terrified, scared, excited, panicky, anxious and couldn’t really enjoy it. What if someone found out?
After that my sexual experiences were with anonymous men, late at night, when it was dark and after I had been drinking. I was ashamed of what I was doing. Terrified I would be discovered. Sick because it was ‘so wrong’. Yet I did it over and over and over again.
I wanted the contact. I wanted the sex. I wanted to be with men, gay men. So I did it. But it was never relaxed or enjoyable. There was always some level of shame and fear involved.
This went on for twenty years.
Then I decided that I don’t need to fear a damn thing. I was an adult, had a job, supported myself. If I wanted to suck cock or fuck I had ever right to do so and not be ashamed or afraid.
It wasn’t easy to purge those things which had kept me hiding in fear and shame. In some ways I am still working on it.
But it gets easier and easier the more I do it.
My community is rather supportive of GLBT people. I don’t need to fear going to the store or walking down the street. This is rare in most places. Yes there are people who are not accepting, I have had guys yell ‘faggot’ out the window as they drive by, but I don’t fear for my safety.
The thing with fear and shame is it has prevented me from living my life, enjoying my sexuality. I spent so many years scared of being known to like men and those years are gone. I can not get them back. This has led me to a point where I am today, right now. I am not going to prevent myself from enjoying sex with men. I an not going to deny myself the joys of sex with men. I am not going to limit who I am having sex with nor am I going to have sex with just any man because I have no options at that moment.
I am owning my sexuality. I am allowing myself to be attracted to men. I want to enjoy sex. Not just in the dark, unknown men and while drunk.
I could rue the past, my denial of my sexuality. But I am not.
I could allow the false concepts that gay sex is a sin or wrong. But I am not.
I will continue to have sex with men who I am attracted to because we both want to have sex.
What I would like to say to those who are older and have lived in this fear and shame is to forgive yourself for believing those lies. Let that past go. Be yourself. Be attracted to men. Enjoy sex with men. And don’t be ashamed of it.
What I would like to tell those who are young is to believe that you are not a bad person or wrong because you are attracted to men. You may be stuck due to living with family or due to finances, and that sucks. But know that situation will change.
To anyone who has this fear and shame, I understand. It is terrifying. It is threatening. It is real when you are in it.
Have the sex you want to have with the man you want to have sex with and don’t be ashamed.
Some men want to wait until they find the right guy. Some men want to have as much sex as they can. I don’t judge either of those choices. I respect them.
But if you want to have sex, have sex. Have sex with men you want to have sex with, not because that is your only option. Don’t hold back.
Being gay is not a sin. It is not a crime. It is not immoral. It is not wrong.
Sex is not a crime. It is not immoral nor is it wrong.
And know, that there are thousands of men who are afraid and ashamed of their sexuality. They are stuffing their feelings and telling themselves they are awful people. There are men, today who want to kill themselves because they are attracted to men. That makes my heart heavy.
You are not alone. We are not alone. You can keep your sexuality private. You can keep your sex life private. But please, don’t deny yourself the amazing opportunities that come from allowing yourself to be attracted to men, to like men, to fall in love with a man.Too many men have lived a lonely life because they did, don’t be one of them.
My personal experience was not too different than the gent who wrote that above.
I agree 100% with his statements and if you are on your journey please take solace in the above.
I offer you my warmest wishes for a happy Saint Valentine’s day.