@halfelven1
Untitled
Posts
42
Last update
2021-04-09 16:16:12

    Above: Possibly the most photogenic bread I’ve ever baked on Flickr.

    From the household: the easiest bread recipe with really good results

    This is the bread I make when I need plain white bread for everyday sandwich or toast purposes. It has a lovely crumb and is a substantial bread, not an airy-fairy “pan loaf” of the type too damn common in British and Irish supermarkets. (Which is not to mean that it’s one of those loaves you make that refuses to rise and which you therefore desperately characterize as “substantial” so people will think you meant it to come out that way.)

    The basic recipe came from the (now-closed) Bäckerei Sieber in Au, a town in Canton St. Gallen in Switzerland. The recipe itself is for Tessinerbrot or “bread from Ticino”; down in that southern canton the Roman breadmaking techniques have persisted unusually tenaciously. Since Roman bread had a deserved reputation for being very high-end indeed – a reputation which Spanish-bred bakers brought to it – this is a good thing.

    The peculiarity about this recipe (from the North American home baker’s point of view, anyway) is that the recipe manages its ingredients by mass rather than volume, even for the liquid. This is how professional bakers do things, though, at least in Switzerland: it seems to get around the problem of how much moisture your local flour is in a mood to absorb today. One caveat: this dough tends toward the wet and sticky end of the bread dough spectrum, so it’s really easier made in a mixer with a dough hook.  Also, I sometimes bake this using the bake-it-in-a-preheated-pot technique which derives from the famous Lahey no-knead bread recipe. Pot baking produces a good high rise with little work, and with a really nice crust. (Though sometimes the old-fashioned loaf pan technique produces very superior results, as above. The Bread Fairy was really sitting on my shoulder that day.)

    This recipe makes one big loaf. I’ve baked this in anything from a Romertopf to a single US-style loaf pan to a 3-liter lidded casserole of enamelled cast iron. This recipe branches several times: think of it as a Choose-Your-Own-Bread story.

    The ingredients:

    Keep reading

    rabbitgoblin

    fucked up how cooking and baking from scratch is viewed as a luxury…..like baking a loaf of bread or whatever is seen as something that only people with money/time can do. I’m not sure why capitalism decided to sell us the idea that we can’t make our own damn food bc it’s a special expensive thing that’s exclusive to wealthy retirees but it’s stupid as hell and it makes me angry

    grossrabbit

    bread takes like max 4 ingredients counting water and sure it takes a couple hours but 80% of that is just waiting around while it does the thing and you can do other things while it’s rising/baking plus im not gonna say baking cured my depression bc it didn’t but man is it hard to feel down when you’re eating slices of fresh bread you just made yourself. feels like everything’s gonna be a little more ok than you thought. it’s good.

    crows-cats-and-cackles

    bread is amazing and it’s also been sold to us as something really hard to make? Every time I tell someone I made a loaf of bread I get reactions like “you made it yourself???” and “do you have a bread machine then?” I haven’t touched a bread machine in probably 10 years. You CAN make your own bread, folks, and it’s actually pretty cheap to do so. I believe the most expensive thing I needed for it was the jar of yeast. It was about $6 at the grocery store and lasted me MONTHS (just keep it in the fridge.) The packets are even cheaper. destroy capitalism. bake your own bread.

    boonbucks-city-beach

    You can also make your own yeast by making a sourdough starter, so that cuts cost even more.

    But you have to feed the starter daily/weekly and that means it grows quickly, but there are tons of recipes online for what to do with your excess starter. Cookies, pretzels, crackers, pancakes, waffles, you name it!!

    unbossed

    Here’s a link to The Home Baking Association’s site. It has recipes and tips.

    petermorwood

    Make it even easier - No-Knead Bread”. All YOU do is mix the ingredients together and wait until it’s time to heat the oven. The yeast does all the rest.

    Here’s @dduane’s first take on it and the finished product. We’ve made even more photogenic batches since.

    image

    Kneading is easy as well; either let your machine do it, or if you don’t want to or don’t have one, get hands-on. It’s like mixing two colours of Plasticine to make a third. Flatten, stretch, fold, half-turn, repeat - it takes about 10 minutes - until the gloopy conglomeration of flour, yeast, salt and water that clings to your hands at the beginning, becomes a compact ball that doesn’t stick to things and feels silky-smooth.

    Here’s what before and after look like.

    image

    My Mum used to say that if you were feeling out of sorts with someone, it was good to make bread because you could transfer your annoyance into kneading the dough REALLY WELL, and both you and the bread would be better for it.

    Then you put it into a bowl, cover it with cling-film and let it rise until it doubles in size, turn it out and “knock it back” (more kneading, until it’s getting back to the size it started, this means there won’t be huge “is something living in here?” holes in the bread), put it into your loaf-tin or whatever - we’ve used a regular oblong tin, a rectangular Pullman tin with a lid, a small glass casserole, an earthenware chicken roaster…

    You can even use a clean terracotta flowerpot.

    image

    Let the dough rise again until it’s high enough to look like an unbaked but otherwise real loaf, then pop it in the preheated oven. On average we give ours 180°C / 355°F for 45-50 minutes. YM (and oven) MV.

    Here’s some of our bread…

    image
    image
    image
    image

    Here’s our default bread recipe - it takes about 3-4 hours from flour jar to cutting board depending on climate (warmer is faster) most of which is rise time and baking; hands-on mixing, kneading and knocking-back is about 20 minutes, tops, and less if using a mixer.

    Here ( or indeed any of the other pics) is the finished product. This one was given an egg-wash to make it look glossy and keep the poppy-seeds in place; mostly we don’t bother with that or the slash down the middle, but all the extras were intentional as a “ready for my close-up” glamour shot.

    image

    I think any shop would be happy to have something this good-looking on their shelf. We’re happy to have it on our table.

    Even if your first attempts don’t work out quite as well as you hope, you can always make something like this…

    image
    rae-napier

    can we have more posts like this in future please? this is really useful and could help those who are struggling

    crustyclarinet

    wow. i can’t believe tomorrow is christmas.

    crustyclarinet

    hey fucker. i made this post the day before halloween. you’re not supposed to actually reblog it the day before christmas. it was supposed to be big jokes but now this post has no meaning anymore. i will wipe you off the face of this earth

    skullfire2004

    I shall reblog the day after Halloween

    goofy-angsty-ball-of-pure-pathos

    2 days before Valentines day

    cass-and-kitt-in-the-tardis

    It’s funny I’m seeing this actually literally 2 days actually before Halloween, lol

    galahadwilder

    Me, trying to figure out when the heck I’m supposed to reblog this

    shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey

    Reblogging this on Halloween

    its-me-extroverted-introvert

    reblogging the week of thanksgiving 

    emieee

    lmao y’all weirdos

    I think we need to start looking at people and ourselves the way we look at bread

    Got stretch marks? Lovely

    You chubby? Beautiful

    Are you skinny? Also beautiful

    Your body has a unique shape or size? Bread comes in all sizes and shapes too, and they’re all fucking beautiful.

    You’re dark-skinned? Gorgeous

    You’re tan? Still gorgeous

    You’re pale? Also gorgeous

    You have acne or other skin blemishes? Stunning

    Got scars? Still lovely.

    Is your face or body asymmetrical? Doesn’t matter, you’re still beautiful.

    Are you high-maintenance? So is sourdough bread, and there’s an entire community of people in love with it!

    If bread can look all these different ways and still be beautiful, so can people! Give yourself and the people around you more love! You are worthy and gorgeous as you are!

    Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

    thotzekage

    What the fuck

    bruddabois

    This comes around every thanksgiving for like 3 years running now and it activates my fight or flight response

    tropicalfucko

    The only thing I trust is the cake but there’s a huge cursed vibe like a god of chaos and disorder decided to have a photoshoot and this is the result

    ultimatebottom69

    Persephone is twerking

    aadya23

    the ‘getty images’ on the cake oh my god

    brendenfraser

    “One of the most interesting things about Elizabeth Turner was her Kiss of Death. Throughout the trilogy, all of the men she locked lips with has died - including Sao Feng in At World’s End, and (if you want to be petty about it) her father, Weatherby Swann. Usually they would die moments after kissing her for the first time. This excludes Will Turner who has kissed her several times before and beat the odds every time. However, even he succumbed to her kiss and died as well minutes after the two were hastily married by Barbossa.

    This is most likely a just coincidence and not something that was intentional, but years later it’s still fun to point out to friends and watch a dawn of realization hit their face when they realize that Pirate Queen Elizabeth may have also been the Grim Re
    aper.”

    enbizaka-murders

    Alot of people seem to miss these two additional details:

    • The kiss of death only works when she’s on a boat (she never kissed Will on a boat until their wedding)
    • When the effect does kick in, the killing is preformed by the crew of the Dutchman.

    When Jack died, he was killed by the Kraken, summoned by Davy Jones.

    When Sao Feng died, was by the damage from the canons of the Dutchman

    When Norrington died, it was by Bootstrap Bill, a member of it’s crew.

    And when Will died, it was directly by the hands of Davy Jones.

    One more thing that has struck me as odd is when she interracts with Davy Jones, he acts as if he’s seen her somewhere before. When the Empress crew point her out as the captain he has a sort of “wtf, you, you are their captain?” reaction, now you could just shake that of as Davy Jones being a misogynistic but i don’t doubt he’s seen female pirate captains before, given how long he’s lived. And when they come face to face on the Dutchman, it feels like a meeting between sworn long time enemies (at least to me).

    Elizabeth, what the hell are you even and what exactly is your connection to the Dutchman.

    curseworm

    this sentence came so far out of left field i reflexively closed the tab and had to open it up again to take this screenshot. i mean like yes its true that mushrooms are not plants but ive literally never ever ever ever met or even heard of anyone anywhere at any time who has used this definition of a plant-based diet

    curseworm

    im left with so many questions. does she not use yeast? if her definition of “plant based diet” is so literal that it doesnt include mushrooms, does it also not include salt? does she not eat fermented food because bacteria arent plants? why does she not eat fungi? clearly its not an issue of taste, she praises the taste here. does she think theyre unhealthy somehow? does she have moral objections to eating fungus? i would like to interview her

    mcmansionhell

    We Interrupt This Broadcast to Bring You an Especially Cursed House

    Hello everyone. Originally, this post was supposed to be devoted to the year 1978, however something came up, and by something, I mean this 2.2 million-dollar, 5,420 sq ft 4 bed/4.5 bath house in Colt’s Neck, NJ. 

    You see, usually, when a listing goes viral, I’m content to simply retweet it with a pithy comment, but this house genuinely shook something in me, genuinely made me say “what the (expletive)” out loud. It is only fair to inflict this same suffering onto all of you, hence, without further ado: 

    Looks normal, right? Looks like the same low-brow New Jersey McMansion we’re all expecting, right? Oh, oh dear, you couldn’t be more wrong. 

    Guess who’s making a list and checking it twice? 

    Guess who’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice?

    Guess who’s coming to town? 

    Guess who’s coming to town to drag your ass into hell?

    A gentle reminder that it is not yet Thanksgiving. 

    But oh. Oh. It continues:

    If you’re wondering what’s happening here, you’re not alone, and sadly there is no convenient way to find out via a kind of haunted house hotline or something. 

    I can’t even label these rooms because frankly I’m not even sure what they are. All I am sure of is that I want out of them as soon as humanly possible. 

    r̸̘̆e̴̝̻̽m̵̡̼̚ȩ̵͑̎ͅm̷͍̮̉b̸̥̈e̶̯̺̽͗r̸̝͊͠ ̸̡͎̅̀t̴̯̲̓ȯ̷̮̫ ̷̜̅̀ŵ̶̟̱ā̴̭̘s̸̥͋h̴͉̿ ̵̡̑y̸̩͈͑o̷̹̭͛͝ů̷̩̮̔r̶̜̃ ̴̠̗͋ẖ̴̈́͛a̸̢̟̐͒n̶̩̟̆ḍ̵̍̀s̴̨̈́

    How is it that a room can simultaneously threaten, frighten, and haunt me? Me, of all people!

    My eyes do not know where to go here. They go to the window, they go to the fireplace, they go to the massive mound of fake plant and statuary currently gorging on the leftmost corner of the room, they go to my hands, which are shaking. 

    “Hello, I would like to get in touch with the Ministry of Vibes? Yes, I’ll hold.” 

    I haven’t been this afraid of a shower since I went to Girl Scout camp in the fifth grade and there was a brown recluse spider in the camp shower and I screamed until the counselor came in and told me it was only a wolf spider but it turns out those still bite you and it hurts. 

    I love watching Still Images on my Television Set :)

    Nobody make a sound. He’s watching you. 

    i spy with my evil eye:

    :)

    Their souls are trapped in these photographs forever :)

    Okay, phew, we made it out alive. Here’s the back of the house I guess. 

    Well, I hope you’re as thoroughly disturbed as I am. Seriously, I’m going to have trouble sleeping. I mean, I already have trouble sleeping, but this is just making that existing problem so much worse. 

    If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon!

    There is a whole new slate of Patreon rewards, including: good house of the month, an exclusive Discord server, weekly drawings, monthly livestreams, a reading group, free merch at certain tiers and more!

    Not into recurring donations but still want to show support? Consider the tip jar! (Tips are much appreciated since I am making a cross country move in two weeks!!!)

    Or, Check out the McMansion Hell Store! Proceeds from the store help protect great buildings from the wrecking ball.

    sweetiepie08

    This person lives in the setting of a hidden object game.

    plaidbees

    i always forget my grandma used to be a clown so it caught me the fuck off guard when she saw this

    and no hesitation saying “oh it’s that creepy clown- oh he’s drinking that’s against clown code”

    aggressiveflyingpizza

    1. ARE YOU NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN YOUR GRANDMA’S PAST CLOWN CAREER? 2. WHAT’S CLOWN CODE??????????????

    rift-master

    I call a lot of y'all clowns but it turns out that’s too good for you since even they live by a code.

    furbearingbrick

    iconic post

    skywardkonahriks

    We should stop calling trump and his supporters clowns because even clowns have standards and a code!

    i-hate-chick-fil-a

    Memo To The Media: Chick-fil-A Condemns, Discriminates, And Campaigns Against LGBT People

    https://thinkprogress.org/memo-to-the-media-chick-fil-a-condemns-discriminates-and-campaigns-against-lgbt-people-3e2dbb7b8056/

    Fuck them for sure.

    killapunk

    any time ive brought this up to anyone they’re like “i don’t support their ideals but their food is still so good” like they can’t learn how to make a fucking chicken sandwich

    mxthdust

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/12nw7jpU2a8SeisKLEfQPSPMeFFaElVjXPbVQsVLsQnk

    the-geico-lizard

    this is good info to have the only thing i’m gonna say is that the doc has the chic fil a sauce wrong: u mix 1 part honey mustard and 1 part barbecue and add (to taste) a smidge of garlic/onion powder

    straightgirls

    this doesn’t fit my blog at all but i had to post it here because this story is legit the wildest thing i’ve seen this month and everyone needs to see it. unmute this I PROMISE YOU WON’T REGRET IT

    girlschasinggirls

    omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    watergirl1996

    LAST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS THE LAST COMPARISON WASNT ON THERE

    aven-rave

    This is the best thing I have ever seen

    unaffiliatedpangolin

    @klubbhead You used a cinnamon roll for Rey and not Leia?

    sculptingsuccess

    Dam it it got better

    ourholyvengeance

    @klubbhead

    Do Darth Maul next!

    rebeccafultz-blog

    This is why I love Tumblr. Do Yoda next please or Boba Fett.

    klubbhead

    Oh god. I can’t even think of something for them lol

    thej-key

    Yoda gotta be raisin bread.

    literally–hitler

    do grand moff tarkin.

    pinch-o-mad

    The last one got me.

    broken-sanity13

    I CAN’T

    B R E A T H E

    XD

    lonely-roads-at-midnight

    i was mildly amused until the last one, at which point i broke

    agir1ukn0w

    The post of legend has come again

    idunnotm-has-no-idea

    OH GOD IT GOT BETTER

    glittery-pile-of-flesh

    This is best post on this shit hole of an app

    kopykunoichi

    Me: Why do I still have a Tumblr account?

    This post: *exists*

    Me: Oh yeah.

    anakin-the-sith

    sjflksjaldj it keeps coming back, better than before

    doobiwankenooku

    I AM SCREECHING

    spankerella

    The last time I reblogged this, the canned bread was not there. That got me.

    quu-san

    It’s not bread but honestly I’m not sure we’re keeping track anymore

    kurara123

    may I? 

    vanilla-chip-101

    HOW THE FUCK IS IT STILL GOING AHAHAHAHAHA

    purpletangomintsprite

    Whoever posted Yodito with the macaron is clearly a time traveler.