To see and feel one’s beloved naked for the first time is one of life’s pure, irreducible epiphanies. If there is a true religion in the universe, it must include that truth of contact or be forever hollow. To make love to the one true person who deserves that love is one of the few absolute rewards of being a human being, balancing all of the pain, loss, awkwardness, loneliness, idiocy, compromise, and clumsiness that go with the human condition. To make love to the right person makes up for a lot of mistakes.
Dan Simmons, The Rise of Endymion (via hqlines)
A fig leaf can hide many things, but a human erection isn’t one of them.
Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What it Means for Modern Relationships
The door opened behind him and Adora Belle said, “I know we have what might be called an unconventional marriage, what with our jobs and the pressure of work and so on, but I wouldn’t be doing my wifely duty if I didn’t ask you whether you have been firkydoodling with fast and loose women? No pressure. Answer in your own time.”
More or less spinning with the ecstasy of being alive and, of course, all those beans, Moist said joyfully, “Now then, just a minute, bear with me now, tell me, is it loose women or is it fast women? Is there a spotter’s guide or does one, as it were, cancel out the other?”
“Moist von Lipwig, you are rascally drunk. Can you even walk?”
For an answer Moist jumped in the air, clicking his heels, and said, “Fast or loose, my girl, or why not both at once?”
Dragging him back into their bedroom and closing the door behind them, Adora Belle said, “Well now, husband of mine , in that case let’s find out.”
Terry Pratchett, Raising Steam
“You don’t have to keep your eyes shut, Sarge,” he said. “It’s all legit. It’s an artistic celebration of the female body, Tawneee says . Anyway, she’s got clothes on.”
“Two tassels and a folded hanky is not clothes, Nobby,” said Fred, sinking down in his seat.
The Pink PussyCat Club! Now, fair’s fair, he’d been in the army and Watch, and you couldn’t spend all that time in uniform without seeing a thing or two— or three, now he came to recollect— and it was true, as Nobby had pointed out, that the ballerinas down at the opera house didn’t leave a lot to the imagination, at least not to Nobby’s, but when all was said and done, ballet had to be Art, even though it was a bit short on plinths and urns, on account of being expensive to look at, and moreover, ballerinas didn’t whizz around upside down.
-Thud!, Terry Pratchett
He knew in his heart that spinning upside down around a pole wearing a costume you could floss with definitely was not Art, and being painted lying on a bed wearing nothing but a smile and a small bunch of grapes was good solid Art, but putting your finger on why this was the case was a bit tricky.
“No urns,” he said at last.
“What urns?” said Nobby.
“Nude women are only Art if there’s an urn in it,” said Fred Colon. This sounded a bit weak even to him, so he added: “Or a plinth. Both is best, o’course. It’s a secret sign, see, that they put in to say that it’s Art and okay to look at.”
Fred Colon, Thud! by Terry Pratchett
I’m lazy,” she said. “Who has the energy to put on a swimming suit to get in the water, then change into a dry one to lie in the sand, then change back into the wet one when you want to swim again? It’s much simpler this way.”
Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/living/travel/article31105532.html#storylink=cpy
Hannelore Meister, East German nudist
Sex bore some resemblance to cookery: It fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination—but at the end of the day they’d settle quite happily for egg and chips, if it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.
- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant
It was as if even the most intelligent person had this little blank spot in their heads where someone had written: “Kings. What a good idea.” Whoever had created humanity had left in a major design flaw. It was its tendency to bend at the knees.
Sam Vimes, Feet of Clay Substitute "gods" for "Kings" and you have a big chunk of my personal philosophy.
Just because my body was developed for a purpose other than fuck*ng millionaires doesn’t mean it's masculine. I think it's femininely badass as f*ck because there’s not a single muscle on my body that isn’t for a purpose because I’m not a do nothing b*tch
Ronda Rousey (via rowdyrondarousey)
Badass can be feminine, too.