1.) terf means trans exclusionary radical feminist. If something is not trans exclusionary radical feminism, it is not terf rhetoric. If terfs say queer is a slur, itâs not because theyâre terfs. Often itâs because theyâre gay/bi women who donât want to be called a slur.
2.) thereâs a difference between words that can be used as insults and words that are used as slurs. Gay and lesbian can be used as homophobic insults, mostly towards people who are not gay/lesbian. Examples being âthatâs so gay!â And âwhat, are you a fuckin lesbian?â. These are used towards straight people as degrading insults because people see calling somebody a homosexual as an insult, because they see homosexuality as an inherently bad thing. Nobody uses them towards lgbt people, unless they donât know theyâre lgbt. They use them towards people they think are straight to tell them a certain behaviour is undesirable and âgayâ. So theyâre insults towards straight people, not slurs against homosexuals.
Queer is a slur used towards lgbt people. It isnât used towards straight people in the same way gay/lesbian are. Itâs used to tell lgbt people that theyâre weird, odd, freaks, etc. For being lgbt. Theyâre used by homophobes who directly want to degrade lgbt people for being lgbt. They arenât using the word because it means homosexual and they think thatâs a bad thing (which again, is why they insult straight people with gay/lesbian), they are using it because it means weird/odd/freak/etc. And want to let people know thatâs how they feel about lgbt people.
Basically, one is used as an insult because it means homosexual and thatâs seen as bad enough to be an insult, one is used because people want to let lgbt people know they think being lgbt is weird by using a word that means exactly that.
As Iâve said before, reclaim queer if you want. But donât push it on me, donât push it on other lgbt people, donât use it as an umbrella term. Use it for yourself and others who have said explicitly that theyâre okay with it.
Also thereâs a difference between âidentifyingâ as (I donât like the term identify when talking about sexuality, sexuality is not an identity and I do not identify with my sexuality. Itâs just something I was born as) gay/lesbian and as queer. Labels are supposed to describe something specific, thatâs why we use them. When somebody says theyâre gay/lesbian you know theyâre homosexual and like the same gender. When somebody says theyâre bi you know theyâre bisexual and can be attracted to anyone. When somebody says theyâre trans you know they were born a different gender than they actually are. The labels exist to describe a certain experience. Queer however, doesnât do that. It doesnât tell me if youâre gay, bi, trans, or demisexual flowerromantic elfgender. Itâs a useless label. Maybe it says âIâm not straightâ or âIâm not cisâ, but thatâs really something you donât need to clarify unless you see something wrong with being straight/cis. And sorry to break it to you, but myself and other lgbt people may be distrustful of you when you come up to us and call yourself queer. Because we donât know if youâre lgbt, or if youâre a straight and cis person who thinks being attracted to people only sometimes makes them âqueerâ. Which is often the case.
Honestly Iâm just repeating what Iâve said on my blog multiple times.