just a small town blog trying to make a name for itself in the big city. bigots can fuck off.(posts mainly art, video games and fantasy related stuff)

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2020-07-11 18:11:12

    There's this one customer who comes into the store pretty regularly, a very short and muscle-y and dressed very punk, who speaks like the most smooth southern gentleman you ever did see, and I instantly feel better everytime I talk to them.

    They invariably ask me to get something down off a top shelf for them, and it's always like, "Pardon me, but would you kindly get me that box of lasagna there? See, my mama wouldn't let me grow higher than this, so I have to find some good hearted folks to let me borrow their height for a mo'ent. Ah, thank ya, thank ya kindly." I love them.

    I'm glad this beautiful soul is getting the appreciation they deserve.

    the off the wall choice of antagonist to fuck should've been dettlaff instead of syanna. like can u imagine the chaos

    like it accomplishes the same ??????????????? reaction, like geralt WHY.. with THIS ONE.... right NOW..???? but even better bc it's not like an awkward slimy-feeling attempt to inject some sex appeal into the dlc. just geralt being an organically horny weirdo

    and can u imagine being regis in either of these situations...... like the sex-with-syanna scenario is more sad and baffling than anything, but imagine like. you've got these two VERY dear friends who seem to be at complete odds, one of whom is literally contracted to KILL the other. and ur desperately trying to act as a go-between and advocate for both of them and keep all ur loved ones safe and like defuse the situation so no one ends up literally Dead........... and then the first time they meet face to face they end up fucking each other. like what kind of EMOTIONS there.... relief? bewilderment?? exasperation???? like it is SO strange and unexpected but also maybe kind of the best case scenario???????? like of all the ways this could possibly go down

    i do see this going down at the dinner party by the way. depending on whether u choose sympathetic dialogue options, dettlaff accompanies geralt to "choose a wine" instead of regis. they have the worlds most simultaneously awkward and sexually charged conversation before an absolutely ridiculous sex scene in the wine cellar ensues, broken bottles and everything. they come back up with their clothes all fucked up and smelling of spilled wine and the duchess is like 😬 haha... geralt what the fuck..... and regis has like 4 separate internal crises whilst whipping his head back and forth between them. orianna straight up doesn't even care about the ruined wine like this shit is SO funny..... cousin dettlaff fucked a witcher in the wine cellar the SLUT

    batterkind

    <>HE RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL!!!

    I did nAUGHTt! Mister Electic send him to the   principal's office and have him EXpelLed!

    disneyisqueen

    The line delivery, the acting, the fact that I can hear this without sound, the way they’re treating it as though this is a murder trial, and Mr. Electric’s reaction to this are part of what makes this scene hilarious

    Georg Lopis

    Was pondering this morning how much I’d like some kind of fic where Boromir’s like ‘lets go through the gap of rohan’ and Gandalf’s like ‘no we’re too big a group we’d be spotted’ and Boromir’s just ‘well then lets just split into three groups. You, Aragorn and I know where we’re going, lets take different routes through the Gap and then meet where the deeping stream breaks from Swiftwater, sound fair?’ And everyone’s like ehhhh I just about prefer that to going over the mountain or being trapped under it ok. 

    So we just get a little vignette of our three groups. Boromir, Merry and Pippin have a superb time. Aragorn, Frodo and Sam get a little gentle bonding for the road… Gandalf’s blood pressure rises a full thirty points- there simply IS no downside! :)

    like Legolas and Gimli wouldn’t take this opportunity to troll the shit out of Gandalf