Inside the Mind of Iphides

Classicist, Homestuck, Hatarar. SCAdian. I like children's cartoons and intersectional feminism

Last update
2022-08-09 23:34:08

    I keep thinking about that post about the whole genre of movies about a white guy getting into an asian philosophy, matrial art etc and then proceeding to surpass his teacher and be the best ever at it, and I started thinking about the opposite of it.

     I want a movie about a chinese dude who comes to Finland, downs an entire bottle of Koskenkorva, tries to fight a nearby cow and ends up lying face down in a ditch while sobbing about his ex wife and having like 5 finnish dudes staring at him in awe like

     “That’s him. That’s the chosen one.”


    The 5 finnish dudes bring him home with them.  The next day, the chinese dude wakes up on the couch with a mighty hangover.   He turns on the TV and for the first time in his life sees Moomintroll.  Instant spiritual bonding experience.  Overcome with emotion,  he begins to sing an ode to Snufkin in a high clear tenor voice. The 5 finnish dudes hastily call their live-in wise old mentor.  “Yes,” says the mentor after watching chinese dude for a few minutes.  “The prophecy was true.  This is the chosen one.  This man…will be our 2020 Eurovision act.”

    So, my university does a lot of outreach Classics work, trying to make it less of an elitist subject and more accessible to children, and as part of that, I went to give a talk to a class of 6 and 7 year olds a few months back.

    And here’s the thing. Classics is really often portrayed as the last bastion of academic privilege, a subject that is only taught to rich white kids so that they can brag about knowing Latin and get jobs as Tory MPs. But these kids were OBSESSED. They had already done some stuff on myths, and they were so excited to talk about it. They knew all the stories, all the heroes, the gods, the monsters. I have never seen such an excitable group of kids as these 6 year olds shouting about Odysseus.

    For the lesson, I asked them to think of their favourite myth and to consider it from the point of view of the monster rather than the hero. The end goal was to show that often the monsters and heroes are quite similar. We decided to do Polyphemus (the Cyclops) in the Odyssey, and so I asked them why they thought Polyphemus might have been so angry at Odysseus that he killed some of his men.

    Because he came home and found lots of strange men in his house, eating his food, said the kids.

    So, I asked them, do you think that was a good reason to kill people?

    No, they said, but he was very cross, and he didn’t do it because it was fun.

    And then this KID, this SIX YEAR OLD CHILD, put her hand up and said “well, it was very bad of him, but if we’re cross with him then we have to be cross with Odysseus too, because when he came home from his adventure and found lots of men in his house, trying to marry his wife, he killed them, and that’s the same thing, isn’t it?”


    I am a published Classicist! A PhD student! And I have never made that connection before! Not once! And this child was six years old! And she made the link! By herself!

    And so I tried not to show how gobsmacked I was, and we talked more about other monsters, including Medusa, and at the end of the lesson a lot of them said that they thought the monsters were not as evil as we usually think, and then I went home.

    But I honestly haven’t got over how excited and engaged those kids were, in a totally regular primary school. Classics, in that classroom, was not elitist or inaccessible. It was something they understood, could really get their teeth into and use to think of new ideas of good and bad, of why we demonise different people for doing the same things. And that’s how I like to think about Classics. Not a series of dry texts in ancient languages, but as living stories that you actually can’t help but love, just a bit.


    been reading cicero's rant about words being given obscene meanings and i don't think i've ever seen a latin sentence that made me burst into such immediate and violent laughter before


    had a couple people be like "i have no idea what this means" so to clarify: the word penis in latin originally meant tail and only later got the sense of, uh. penis. so this is cicero complaining that nowadays all these hooligans are using the word "penis" for naughty purposes


    a few resources on racism and white supremacy in classic studies i recommend, especially to white classics fans and students :-)

    classical studies need structural change

    he wants to save classics from whiteness. can the field survive?

    white supremacy and the past and future of classics

    above the veil: the point magazine

    less of a resource but interesting; this article about cambridge students and staff trashing this article that downplays the racism in classic studies and the experiences of students of color written by a cambridge classics professor.


    i think we could all benefit from reading these and learning more about white supremacy in classics!


    meowth team rocket will go episodes forgetting he himself is a pokemon and his main hobby will be breaking the law, attempting to ruin a childs life, and generally being an asshole and thats cool but then hell curl up on a table to go to sleep and im like OHHH... HES A KITTY.. hes just a little cat. a little kitty cat meow meow meow. mrow


    insanely cat moment


    lemme just, put these here...


    showing these pics to eachother like pokemon cards


    picturing a roman empire equivalent of reactionaries who say "if you don't like it here then move somewhere else"


    you actually do this but then the romans conquer the place you moved to and now you're stuck in the roman empire again


    >be me in aquitania under roman rule

    >heavy tax burden, repression, best land taken by former legionaries

    >my small farm is priced out by local latifundium

    >optimates say 'if you dont like it, leave'

    >leave to germania

    >romans come to germania, warband rallies to fight them, we lose

    >enslaved, sent to salt mine in macedonia

    >excavation doesnt go as planned, mine floods, i escape

    >leave to dacia

    >romans come to dacia, warband rallies to fight them, we lose

    >enslaved, bound to quinquereme as a rower

    >massive battle near aegyptus, enemy ram breaks my chains, ship sinks, swim to shore

    >leave to judea

    >romans come to judea, warband rallies to fight them, we lose

    >enslaved, sent to latifundium in aquitania

    >faciem meam quando


    One thing I really think Hatari deserve more credit for it's the way their MVs completely avert scenery porn. It would be very easy for them to more or less step outside and leave a camera rolling to get gorgeous landscape footage, but they simply choose not to

    Instead there are dingy basements, talking heads, cereal aisles and kaleidoscope pig heart dissection. These MVs could've been shot in Detroit, Berlin or Tokyo and you'd be none the wiser

    The two major exceptions are a desolate highway where the camera is conveniently angled away from the landscape, and a Palestinian desert

    I believe there are two reasons for this approach, for one thousands of visual media works have embraced the Icelandic landscape. It's just been done. The other reason is that it wouldn't fit the tone that many of the MVs are trying to convey. Landscape shots for the sake of landscape shots wouldn't go together with themes such as fascism and the apocalypse (with the possible exception of volcanic activity, but likely that falls back on "it's been done")



    They did that thing in the ruined factory in Hatrið mun sigra... but that was the same approach.

    Found the ugliest nastiest most post apocalyptic place possibly in the whole country and took advantage of the ... uh .... vibe.

    Their attention to detail, visual as well as musical, has always really stood out to me.


    I don’t want it; I don’t need it.


    this scene is even more creepy when you realize Spirited Away was a metaphor for the sex industry in Japan




    “Totoro’s about dead girls!”

    “Spirited Away is about sex!”

    You know what I hear?

    “Maybe if I make up something that sounds smart, people will think I’m smart, even if its a complete fucking lie!”

    Hayao Miyazaki is a man of values. He’s a man who believes in the innocence of childhood and has a wonderful imagination. He believes in simplicity, kindness, the beauty of nature, and the old ways. He draws on these beliefs and his personal experiences when he makes movies.

    Spirited Away was made for some friends of Miyazaki’s. Specifically, the ten-year-old daughters of some friends he invited to stay at his vacation home. It’s fairly common for Miyazaki to decide that he’s going to make movies targeted at a specific age group. Ponyo is for five-year-olds. Spirited Away is meant for ten-year-old girls, but enjoyed by a much wider audience.


    The bathhouse? Not a brothel. Based on a bathhouse in his home town, which he thought was a place of mystery and wonder when he was a kid. That scene where the bathhouse staff has to clean the polluted river spirit? Based on Miyazaki’s own experiences of a town coming together to clean up a river. This scene? It’s about Chihiro not being greedy, because Chihiro is a positive role-model for ten-year-old girls.

    The themes of Spirited Away are courage, strength of character, and individuality. ESPECIALLY individuality. That thing where Yubaba takes away peoples’ names and changes their species? That’s her taking away their individuality. Chihiro’s parents are now pigs, not people. Haku’s name has been shortened so he forgets who he is. When Yubaba changes Chihiro’s name, the only Kanji she leaves spell out “Sen”, the Japanese word for “one thousand”, meaning Chihiro is just another pawn of Yubaba’s, not her own person.

    You want to seem cool and intelligent? Talk about the movie’s actual themes. Don’t make up this shock-value bullshit for attention.

    You stupid motherfuckers.


    Headcanon that because Data doesn’t need to eat he really only uses the replicator in his quarters for spot’s food so whenever someone replicates something she thinks it’s for her. Geordi gets a cup of coffee in the morning and spot hears the replicator sound and just immediately runs up to him meowing


    It’s so important to me that spot is an absolute menace and also Data’s special little baby. She wants a snack so bad. She demands it


    not a realistic idea but what if the replicator in his room is *only* programmed to make cat food, so Geordi asks for a cup of hot coffee and just gets a cup of hot cat food