Jeffro The Homo
Last update
2023-09-26 23:51:35

    You will never be a mad scientist like the motherfuckers at r/macarons


    Luckily this lady is just a pastry chef and not building death rays


    The base Macaron is in itself a very technical task, and they're notorious for being difficult to bake. Lots of things can go wrong: your merengue can be the wrong texture, the merengue can refuse to foam up at all from trace oils in the bowl, the ingredients love to misbehave if they're not measured precisely, a shell can refuse to form or dry cracked, the oven can have weird drafts that make the cookies sag, your flavor ingredients can mess up the recipe, you can break the shell trying to release them from the tray, and so on. It's almost stupid hard to get consistently viable macarons, and these people practice a lot to get to this point.

    Not to be deterred from the already difficult task of creating good macarons, these people are making experimental flavors, irregular shapes, complex designs, even handpainting designs with foodsafe watercolors. Sometimes for free.

    I'm glad this kind of technical skill and dedication is put towards delicious cookies, because if these people were into making bioweapons or something instead, we'd all be so fucked

    Another commercial I would produce as an advertising executive:

    A husband and wife eat a bland dinner together in a dimly-lit kitchen. They don't speak or look at each other. The meal: a pathetic Salisbury steak.

    Cut to their bedroom at night. The wife lays sleeping in the bed while in the background the husband is putting on her dress, pantyhose, pearl necklace, heels, makeup, and a wig. When he's done he quietly leaves the room. The wife opens her eyes as soon as she's sure he's gone.

    Now we're in a seedy dive bar. A small crowd of mustachioed men wearing leather jackets, black boots, and sunglasses sip beers and puff cigarettes while the "show" unfolds. Camera pans down, then pans to the side. Between the black boots we see the husband on his hands and knees, greedily eating a Chipotle Chorizo Burrito Bowl with Cilantro Lime Rice from a plastic dog bowl on the floor. His makeup is ruined, face smeared with sour cream and hot sauce.

    A man steps forward. The husband looks up, and his expression changes to that of a deer in the headlights. Cut to reveal that the "man" standing before the husband is none other than his wife, in elaborate drag as a Tom of Finland biker, false mustache and officer cap and all. She smiles warmly, and nods. The husband smiles too, and resumes his meal.

    Chipotle: Own Your Fantasy