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2021-11-26 09:26:19


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    How to fully control Your sub in 9 steps

    1:  You  need to get into his head.

    -Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.  Use this information against him and to Your advantage.

    -Find out what humiliates him, and to what level.

    -Make him show his loyalty to You regularly.  Reward him, even if it’s just with positive attention when he does.

    - Aside from family, close friends and work, give him 0% privacy.  Don’t hide this process from him, make him partake in handing it over to you in ways that demonstrate how he is “losing the privacy.”  

    -Make him need You for everything.  Point out how You help him, how You guide him, and how You accept the negative things about him that others may not.

    - Hypnosis, especially while they are sleeping can help transfer messages, ideas and ideals about You deep into their faggot head.

    2:  Punish him often for everything, no exceptions!

    - Don’t let him get away with anything!  When You let your sub get away with something. You are telling him that You don’t care for him and that what he did was ok.

    - You can Spank, paddle, or whip him.

    - Humiliate him past what is easy for him.

    - Long term bondage

    - Corner time

    - Food restrictions

    - Writing standards/lines\

    - Write a book report or essay.

    - Ground him/take away privileges.

    - Wash his mouth out with soap.

    - Make him do anything he hates.

    - Get creative and make the punishment match the crime.

    - Never use separation or the threat of leaving/ending Your control over him as a punishment.  That is counterproductive to the end goal (trust and service) and is detrimental to the faggot.

    3:  Routinely discipline him.  This is different than punishment.

    - Spank him once a week, just because You can, not too hard, not too soft.

    -Humiliate him often.

    - 5-10 minuets of corner time a day can do wonders for him, like a sub’s meditation.

    - If he is stressed, give him a break and put him in some comfy bondage for a while.  You may or may not want to integrate impact play with this.  For lots of subs, some pain can really help elevate their mode for the rest of the day or longer.

    - Routine discipline will save You time and energy in the long run.  You will have to punish him less as a result.

    - Taking care of You can be part of his discipline.  Have him do Your laundry, cleaning, etc.

    4:  On some level, even if it’s small, keep Your sub horny for You.

    - Talk sexy to him.

    -Sexualize non sexual things/activities You are interested in. He will see whatever it is You’ve sexualized as such and be more interested/eager to engage.

    - Have Your sub do some or all of Your body grooming. This can be Your baths, Your nails, shaving, trimming, waxing, etc.

    - Scare him by telling him when and what You’re going to do to him in the near future.

    - Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.

    - Make him give You orgasms.  This is different from sex.  This is a service.

    - Let him rest on You to smell You as You watch TV or read.

    - Give him underwear/items of Yours to smell as he sleeps.

    - Hypnosis, especially while Your sub sleeps can help with this too.

    5:  Control Your own feelings of guilt.

    -      Your sub needs You to be strong “with” him.  You may show vulnerabilities in Yourself for other aspects of Your life. When it comes to him and Your control over him, be firm!

    -      Some meanness and cruelty will be needed from time to time to help break Your sub down.

    -      Your sub may not want everything You give him/ do to him, but he needs it.

    -      Letting Your sub get away with insubordinate behavior because You feel guilty adequately and severely addressing it is weak.  You need to control that shit.

    -      Sub faggots need a real man who is close to them to guide them.  Sometimes real men need to show the fag that they are inferior.  This can’t always be done by talking.  And if it is done my talking, the talking can’t be politically correct/kind.

    -      Humiliation/breaking him down, teaching him to serve long term, these are all things he needs.  You are filling his needs.

    -      Remember, You both need to be happy.  But happiness comes from different places for different people.  If there is communication, and Your sub has communicated that he needs this life to be happy, then You are doing him a service and loving him by breaking him down and controlling him.

    -      A good sub is hard to find. Don’t let the guilt of giving him what he needs stop You from doing so. What he needs may be overwhelming for him and he may break. If he does be there for him.

    6: Humiliate/degrade/break him down on some level daily, some days more than others.

    - Have him wear a small butt-plug for a time, wifi enabled if possible.

    - Have him be naked or close to it, around You and or Your friends.

    - Make him wear a collar or other symbol of inferiority.

    - Make him wear a chastity device sometimes.

    - Teach them “tricks” like sit, drop to their knees to kiss Your crotch, etc.  In public or with friends randomly call out a trick every now then. Make sure Your sub does this flawlessly without hesitation.

    - Make him masturbate for You.

    - Slap him in the face.

    - Spit on him.

    - Treat him as an inferior in public.  (Ex: he carries all bags, opens doors, eats Your leftovers, holds Your drinks, tie Your shoes  etc.)

    - Make him eat his own cum sometimes.

    - Talk down to him in front of others

    7: Rearrange his life/time to better serve/please You. Make sure this does not interfere with his time with loved ones or work.

    - If You want to change his body to Your liking, do so.  Control his workouts, diet etc.  Make sure and be realistic with this one.

    - Make sure he is available during some of Your leisure time each week so he will be able to serve You during those times.

    - Put him on a sleeping schedule.  Lots of fags are not able to adequately manage their sleep times.  The better rested he is, the better he will serve You.

    - Go through his closet/things and throw away/put away any clothing You don’t like him to be wearing.

    - Sign him up to learn new tasks or prefect tasks/skills that will help You.  (Ex: massage classes, cooking classes, pet care, etc.)

    - Change their grooming habits to Your liking.

    8: Help Your sub be grateful for everything he has.  Make sure You are at the top of that list.  One great way to do this is to deny him things.  Yep, it’s time to say “No.”  Subs need boundaries, and saying “No” is a great way to help them with those boundaries.

    - You can take away certain foods, comforts, leisure time, sex, masturbation, etc.

    - Make him show his gratitude to You often.  Faggots will show this to You in their own way. Most faggots will need some help/instruction on exactly how to show their gratitude to You.

    - Make him explain why he deserves something. If he can’t explain why well enough. Then take it from him.

    - You can take things/items from him that You know he does not need, but likes.  (Make sure he can afford for You to take them and that they are not of an additional value such as sentimental etc.)  Let him know from time to time that You enjoy something that You took from him.

    - Offer him a reward of getting to have something back. Make what you give him back relevant to what You make him do. This could be sort or long term.  

    9:  None of these actions will work without real trust.

    - If Your sub is Your partner, let him know how much his sub-ass completes You and Your power.

    -  If Your sub is not Your partner, make sure You two are real friends. That You appreciate how his inferiority completes you.  The more You two know about and do with each other. The more thoroughly You can control him.

    -Part of trust on the subs part is trusting that You will follow through when You say You are going to do something to him or are going to make him do something.  Follow through always.

    -  When a sub fully trusts You. He can submit to You his mind and privacy. Letting You go in and re-arrange/manage his life.

    - Subs need constant reassurance.  Let him know that no matter what, he is Yours.  If a serious sub feels disposable. He will look for another Dom who appreciates his surrender.

    - If Your life is getting too hard for a bit or You need help with something. Trust that Your sub will be able to take over for You and act in your best interest until You are back in shape.  Giving  sub this responsibility will either make him feel trusted and good, or upset that You are not actively controlling him 100% of the time.  If he gets upset and does not step up and take over for You. Then drop him like a hot potato.

    -Talk to Your sub often.  Ask him how he is feeling, and let him honestly know how You are feeling on anything and everything.

    - By taking things away from him, You are in a sense rewarding him when You give them back.  Also, nothing he has is his forever.  You need to re-take things and privileges away from him periodically so he knows they are a privilege and not a right.  Think of it like taking a food bowl away from a dog.  Your sub needs be docile enough that You can take his food bowl away from him as he is eating. He will not make a fuss and patiently wait until the food is returned

    -Please note: Do not ever deny him from being with Friends or family.  Make him realize that the only reason You allow him to have constant contact/interaction with good friends and family is because he “helps” them by being a good friend or family member.  Make sure the he understands that the happiness that comes from being with them is “second” to the happiness that he brings them.  Basically, he needs to understand that if he pulls away from loved ones. While he is under Your control his loved ones will suffer. That is why he is allowed (and encouraged) to keep and/or strengthen the bonds he has with them.

    Please note: The following is a list of things to control a sub only. Please do not implement these ideas if You do not care about and are not committed to Your sub.  This list is not all inclusive of how to treat Your sub.  This list leaves out the important kind necessities that Your sub needs such as reassurance, love, respect, being protected, allowed to be protective of You etc.  These ideas are for a long term 24/7 arrangements, not a scene.  Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things on the list that will work for You.


    Amazing list and great advice 😍😍


    Some really good advice and tips!

    How dangerous is it to leave a sub alone?

    (originally published athttps://www.trikoot.net/2018/01/how-dangerous-is-it-to-leave-a-sub-alone/)

    Being left alone helpless to enjoy your bondage is a common fantasy among kinksters. It’s the ultimate form of consensual non-conseuality: there’s no way out, if there’s nobody there to release you. One of the fundamental rules of elementary BDSM is to never leave your sub alone while he’s tied up. But this begs the question: how dangerous is it to actually leave a person alone?

    External causes of danger

    If we forget the complications of bondage itself, and focus on external dangers that could kill or injure your sub, the numbers are pretty clear: any external danger is ridiculously low. Fire is the main external risk of danger. According to FEMA, there are approximately 380 000 household fires annually in the US. As there are about 125 million households in the country, the risk of having a fire in a residence in the US in any 8 hour period is approximatelyone in a million. 

    Other causes of household destruction are far lower than fire, so it’s clear that your house will not destruct itself while you are away unless you are extremely unlucky.

    Physical causes of danger

    Bondage itself can cause danger. Any form of constriction around the neck or head can cause death through two pathways: asphyxiation (not getting enough oxygen) or vasovagal response (constricting the neck, resulting in a reflexive crashing of blood pressure). These risks depend on the kind of bondage, so it’s best to stay away from the head and neck area. 

    Even if the head and neck area is completely free, constriction around the chest area may cause positional asphyxia, where the sub is unable to breathe properly due to exertion required to physically breathe. This is usually caused by the sub being on his stomach, as in a hogtie. 

    What if the neck and head of the sub is free, and there is no significant pressure around the chest area? Other dangers are significant, but generally nonlethal. Too tight bondage in any part of the body causes two kinds of damage: circulatory and neurological. These are significant, because if a top is present in a scene, any problem can be quickly fixed, but if you are alone, there’s nobody to help.

    Circulation problems

    Circulatory problems result in tissue not getting enough blood due to position or constriction. Bed sores can form as quickly as 2 hours when a static position prevents free circulation. In feet and arms, too tight restraints can result in loss of circulation and progress to ischemia and eventually gangrene in a matter of hours. There’s also a danger of blood clots. Circulatory problems will eventually cause nerve damage (which is often permanent) due to nerves not getting enough blood, but nerve damage can happen by itself as well.

    Nerve damage

    Pressure in incorrect places will damage nerves directly. In mild cases, the myelin sheath around a nerve is damaged, resulting in damage which heals by itself. This healing can take up to 6-9 weeks, but often happens in a couple of hours. More serious damage affects the nerve itself, resulting in damage that can take months to years to fully heal. Nerve damage usually has symptoms (pins and needles, progressing to numbness), but occasionally it’s symptomless until the damage has been done.

    Psychological dangers

    People react unexpectedly when they are left alone. Panic attacks are a real risk. While a panic attack itself is not dangerous, its symptoms can be. Uncontrollable struggling may result in bondage or equipment failing, suddenly changing the situation.

    Vomiting is a dangerous symptom of a panic attack, especially if the sub is in a vulnerable position. Any gag or obstruction in the mouth while vomiting will most likely result in death through asphyxiation, or at least aspiration pneumonia when vomit gets inhaled into the lungs.

    Prolonged or intense fear can cause long-lasting psychological symptoms, of which most famous is PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. This may be destructive for any future kink.

    Should you do it?

    There are ways to mitigate risk when it comes to being alone in bondage:

  • Do not use gags or hoods, or do head bondage, that obstruct with breathing or vomiting in any way
  • Do not do any bondage around the neck, and be conservative with any bondage around the chest area
  • Be careful with any pressure points, give the sub enough movement to be able to move around to avoid undue constant pressure
  • Do not leave subs that have a history of panic attacks or related psychological issues alone
  • As with anything, it’s impossible to remove all the risk of bondage alone. It’s a big fantasy for many people, but focusing on the details, you can make it as safe as you can.