Last update
2021-02-09 01:19:24

    Laundry Farts

    I have a bad case of gas, which to me is good. My farts are the long and loud ripping kind and man do they reek. It’s great when I’m home and can sit in my own cloud of stink but today I’m doing laundry at the laundrymat. At least no one was here. Until…

    I’m sitting there reading a magazine letting the air biscuits fly. I feel like I have to take a shit but there is nothing I can do until I get home. I just let one rip when I noticed a guy had walked in the door right in the middle of this long thunderous butt blast. He looked over at me, smiled and said “nice” then proceeded to walk thru the noxious cloud of my stink to the washers. Good lookin guy maybe in his 30s or so, 6 foot, stocky, beard and looked like he may have some hair on his body. He had on a pair of sweats and a dingy once white T-shirt. As he started to take his clothes out of the basket I watched to see what he was washing. First came some shirts, jeans and then his underwear. That’s what I wanted to see. His underwear was like his shirt, yellowed and well worn. He dropped a pair of his drawers on the floor. I went over to pick them up; I wanted them for me and was hoping he wouldn’t notice them. As I bent to pick them up I let a small squeak out, looked at him and smiled, “Sorry” I said. He told me it wasn’t a problem and reached for his dirty underwear. It had a nice crunch in the pouch and a long brown stain in the back. I wanted to put them up to my nose and take a whiff. I could feel my cock getting hard looking at his stains. He noticed as well because he asked if I wanted them. Then he asked me if I wanted to smell the real thing. Hell yeah!

    He finished putting the rest in and started his washer. He told me to let him know if I had another fart coming. I did and I dropped my shorts and he put his nose to my poop hole. I could feel my guts churning and then felt his tongue on my hole. I let one rip, wet and loud. He groaned and started licking at my hole. I hadn’t showered yet and was getting a nice cleaning from this guy. He dug his tongue in deeper in my shit chute. I let him lap up my stink like a dog and rewarded him with another ripe fart. This one made me gag a bit, and here he was sniffing and licking while I tore ass. He reached around and started to play with my dick. I pulled him up and said my turn.

    He turned and yanked his sweats down. He had a nice hairy ass, perfect. I stuck my nose up to his brown eye and took a whiff. He hadn’t showered today and from the smell it might have been a few days. I could see that he wasn’t big on wiping either. Guess I’ll have to help him. I spread his cheeks and stuck my tongue up and down his nasty trench. The smell was intoxicating and I attacked his hole. The hairs around his hole had bits of his morning dump still clinging to them. I sucked them clean and dove up his pucker farther. As I did, he let one rip right in my face. It smelled like it tasted, fucking gross but so hot. I could feel the precum dripping off the tip of my cock. “Stick it in” he said. So I did. I rammed my boner up his dirty stinkhole and could feel his logs. The smell was intense. I could see his shit on my dick as I pushed in and out. I shoved it up hard one last time and creamed the inside of his guts with my cum. I pulled out and he turned and swallowed my shitty dick. He cleaned off my cum and his shit off my cock. Stood up and kissed me. He smiled at me and said “nice” one last time and went to finish his laundry.

    I kept his dirty underwear and have added my own shit to them. We did play again. This time at his place where things got even messier.


    Monkey bate file….enjoy


    Masturbation is always better when you bate under the guidance and encouragement of a fellow dirty pervert as your Personal Bator Trainer.


    Masturbation gets better and better with time, experience, determination, motivation and training. I was lovingly trained in Penis Worship an Masturbation by great buddies and Penis Priests. It is my JOY and Duty to mentor younger Mastrubaitors!!!


    Prepare yourselves because this is probably one of the hottest voicemails you will ever hear in your whole life! It was left to us by our beloved Gooner Gob - a long time friend of TGR. You have already seen him on TGR… but it has been quite a while since we last saw him. There are so many ways we could describe this amazing voicemail: we could talk about his hot accent, his manly voice, about the things he says, and his invitation to all goones to goon with him. But we’ll keep this short so you can go straight to listening to this precious piece of audio. It’s already a classic that will be treasured by the gooning community for decades/centuries. We confess we were feeling a little territorial over this media and almost kept it exclusive for us. But we are good guys (and gooners!) and we promote one of the best traits prevalent in the gooning community: generosity. So go deep listening to Gooner Gob’s voicemail, gooners… you will certainly get so deep you may take forever to recover. Oh, and hey: no need to thank us. We’re all good pals. ;)

    And Gooner Gob: you’re simply gorgeous and unique. Thanks for being there for us.

    Goon on,
    TGR Staff

    From the series: Hear my cock babble gooning.


    MelbournBator: such a hot edgebator and gooner, a proud solosexual.


    Chronic cock-worshiping masturbator   5/3/17 9:11 AM 5 months ago

    hey, Richard, it’s Chronic Tacos shipping masturbator calling again just to let all you masturbate out there know that I’m it home. I’ve got some down time. Before I have to go to work. I’m definitely masturbating. What I do and all my spare time. I just can’t keep my hands off my penis. Why would I want to? What any of us? want To try to keep our hands off of our techs. Let me love him. Adorn Cox We worship parker. It feels good to touch my penis. So f****** good. Hey, we encourage all you guys. Hey, listen to this. touch your penis worship your cock as you listen to me stroke. And share my masturbation with you. So and Haul all the masturbator is out there in the world. Don’t believe it sometime. How many guys are devoted the penis? masturbation that’s all alone makes my cock so horny. begging to be worship Willingly give in to my car Hi, Varsha, my cock. I believe my God. I served. surf Pee love penis f****** loves penis masturbate masturbate masturbate your penis masturbate penis penis penis I love penis. when masturbate penis masturbate masturbate penis masturbate penis PS masturbation CPS masturbation blog you I want to masturbate with you Richard. Talked about it being how much we love them. What is your cock worship with you? Waka feels good


    A true cock worshiper with a sexy voice.


    Gooner shaft2272000 called again while gooning to porn. You can hear his gooned out lust fantasies while looking at the glowing screen full of porn. He get tongued out stooopid by the end of his voicemail. I want people to hear me masturbating,” he says. But also confesses at some point he wants people to see [him] masturbating. We wonder: would a photo submission be in the works? Only time will tell.

    Previously heard here.

    From the series: Hear my cock babble goon


    Deep in the bate hole



    Every Morning  as I Wake:

    1.  As I come out of sleep I touch, stroke, and fondle my Penis to bring Him fully awake.

    2.  I wake and kneel in prayer to Penis for about five minutes.

    3.   I celebrate a brief Masturbation ceremony (depending on my time no shorter than 15 minutes.)

    4.  After I Cum (or decide NOT to Cum) I sit quietly meditating on Penis Love for about ten minutes.

    5.  My morning Ritual therefore takes about 30 minutes unless I wake earlier to Masturbate longer.

    During the Daytime or Working:

    1.  Anytime I am sitting or alone (car, desk, bus, meeting, lunch) I reach down and fondle my Penis and Balls always saying a thankful prayer that I am Male and have a Cock that takes care of my Life.

    2.  When I go to the bathroom I take time at the urinal to stroke my Penis for a minute or two praying briefly in thanks. I eat quickly to spend my coffee breaks and lunch time in a stall Masturbating. I mark my place with Semen or better, I build up energy for a full Evening Masturbation Celebration.

    3.  Whenever I am walking I keep up a chant with the mantra- perhaps: Penis! Penis! Penis! Penis! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Penis Love! Cock Love! Penis Love! Cock Love! (I have trained my mind to repeat this almost constantly every waking moment.)

    In the Evening and Night:

    1.  Very Important: As soon as I arrive home I strip naked. I never ever wear clothing at home or when I am alone! I want Penis to be proudly displayed, free, and my focus of attention. Clothing was created to try to disempower the Penis and ignore it’s godliness and power! Only those who fear (most women) or hate the Penis his Him with clothing when they do not have to. Lovers of Penis free Him whenever possible! (Sometimes sitting at my desk or at a table I will unzip to free my Penis while fully dressed.

    2.  When naked and doing any chores that need to be done I touch my Penis and Masturbate walking around.

    3.  After I eat I sit or lie down and go into a serious Masturbation Trance. I spend the rest of the evening in prayerful Masturbation. This is a time when I watch a great deal of Masturbation porn and have phone-jack sessions with Brothers all over the world. I may or may not Cum, often I will build up my lustful energy and save my Cum for the weekend ritual only.

    4.  Before I fall asleep I kneel in prayer again thanking Penis for my Life of sexual lust and expression.

    Weekends and/or Days off and/or Vacation time:

    1.  I thrill to have time off! Now I can show my devotion, surrender, and submission too Penis fully! Other than the totally necessary things I must do (shop for food, etc.)

    2.  I spend ALL my time in Penis Prayer, Porn watching, Sharing Bate with Brothers and friends, Masturbation, chanting, edging and gooning out. I edge an absolute minimum of four hours but try to edge for eight to ten hours.

    3.  I have edged with a buddy coaching me for twelve to sixteen hours. I would like more brothers to Worship with by phone these times if I could.

    4.  After an insane, stupid on Cock, lost in trance, and as many non ejaculate orgasms possible… these greatly build up faith, devotion and love. I may Cum (not wasting any of it!)

    5.  Finally I will sit in Cock Meditation for an hour or more, thinking of, praising in chant, and remembering the gifts of god Cock.

    6.  I try not to sleep too much…. that valuable time can be spent in Worshipful Masturbations!

    General Worship Time:

    1.  More and more I am able to devote my whole life to our jealous, demanding, all masterful got Penis. This is difficult, but over time I’ve learned that Penis is my one and only true family and friend.

    2.  I turn down almost all social invitations and engagements to spend more time with Penis in Penis Love. I minimize all contact with people who take time I can spend in Penis adoration.

    3.  I take all my vacation and sick days from work so I  can masturbate more. I now often will miss appointments or be very late, or very late to work because it is so hard to separate myself from Masturbating in the holy name of Penis.

    4.  If there is a Temple of Penis, Church of Cock, or other Masturbation Worship Groups near you, it will strengthen your faith and resolve to attend and Worship with Brothers!

    5.  Or using Social Media you can build a support group to meet at each other’s homes, or use skype or phone time deep in Masturbation.


    1.  It is all to easy and tempting to be drawn back into the outer world! There are many situations and people who will greatly tempt you back into the world and out of the only true world of Penis Worship!

    2.  A true believer must constantly fight against these temptations! It has helped to transform my entire living space into a Pagan Temple of Penis, images, statues, art, photos of Cock are everywhere and in each room there are sacred altars to Penis. This helps as a constant reminder.

    3.  Like a Monk we must let go of worldly things to give everything to Penis. Take things a little at a time, if you rush to much and an anxious you will fail, build your Love and Lust.

    4.  Worship one day at a time. Penis will help you to stay vigilant and will then naturally begin to take over your time and entire life.

    I hope sharing my Lifestyle of Penis Adorations and Worship may help you along your Path of Truth!


    This is a wonderful guide for every MASTURBATOR who is working on his addiction and thinks he has to get even more addicted (like I do!)!

    Even though I was told many times that I must be an addicted MASTURBATOR already because I do MASTURBATE every night during the week 2-3 times before I go to sleep and spend my weekends totally focused on PENIS and  MASTURBATION from early in the morning until late at night. 

    2 things I have learned and they became my golden rules:
    The ADDICTION to MASTURBATE is nothing bad - the ADDICTION to MASTURBATE is a reward for my decision to give in to PENIS, to let HIM control my life and to WORSHIP PENIS GOD! 
    To MASTURBATE is a way to WORSHIP and the ADDICTION actually helps me to WORSHIP more and more! 
    Since I understood that PENISGOD is my one and only GOD and that I need to WORSHIP HIM - what could ever be wrong with dedicating all my life to HIM and to WORSHIP HIM as much as I can?
    How could the ADDICTION to WORSHIP be something bad when it helps me doing something PENIS GOD wants me to d

    2 Golden Rules:

    1. Addiction is good - you can never be too addicted to MASTURBATION! 
    The strongest addiction is the best addiction and it is not possible to reach a level that allows you to stop working on your addiction. You can always get even more addicted. Actually you will enjoy the need to get even more addicted!

    2. You can never MASTURBATE enough!
    MASTURBATE as much as you can!
    MASTURBATE wherever you can!
    MASTURBATE whenever PENIS wants you to! 
    MASTURBATE whenever you just think about it!

    There is no excuse for not MASTURBATING


    Read the guide of cockascreator carefully. Make PENIS the center of your life!
    Remember the 2 Golden Rules and soon PENIS will be your life! 



    Penising Penis is EVERYTHING.


    The Orgasm Manifesto

    Sit up boys and men, hands off dicks and listen. I am going to tell you a few things about your orgasm. I am a sensei of technique, a solosexual with 25 years of experience masturbating and there are things that I have learnt, things I will impart here, that will blow your mind before you blow your wad.


    My friend, you are putting too much stock into your ejaculation. Cumming is fun, yes, it feels good, yes, but it is a buzz kill. Think about how fleeting ejaculation is. How it kills off your solo fun! Your first point of order is to stop loving ejaculation so much. Yes, it’s the old “it’s the journey, not the destination”, mentality. But I really mean it. Stop rushing to the end. If you don’t conquer this, you will never reach higher plateaus of your masturbatory potential. If you are to be a sensei of technique, you need to learn to edge. 


    Next time you bate, analyse it. Think about the rising crescendo of pleasure. How does it move through a bell curve? You hit stages from 1-10. If 10 is the full blown sticky mess, then your 9 is that point of inevitability that you’re gonna sperm. You need to make 8 your goal. If you can hover yourself on an 8 for longer than 30 minutes, or even better 60 minutes, or even better than that, four hours, then a whole plethora of pleasure will become available to you. If you are a “bat it and blow” guy, then little fledging, you have practice to do. If you last two minutes, then try next time to last four. Then eight. Then twenty, thirty, and so on. You have to be dedicated. If you are finding it too difficult not to rush to blast your wad, then refer to the first point I made above. Experienced edgers who can easily edge an hour or more can then proceed to the more advanced lessons below. 


    What you’ve been told about your orgasm is a lie. Your orgasm is far more mysterious and varied than you ever imagined. There are three orgasms men experience: 

    1) The ejaculation orgasm. 2) The non-orgasmic ejaculation.  3) The non-ejaculation orgasm. 

    I can teach you to have all three. Well, you surely know how to have the first one. That’s easy. You taught yourself that at age 12 or whenever it was you began bating. But the other two are trickier. But please get this in your mind, ejaculation and orgasm are not one and the same. You can separate one from the other. You can experience one without the other. To do so you need technique, will power and the intelligence to understand your body.


    Let’s look at the non-orgasmic ejaculation. This is when sperm spews from your penis but is not accompanied by muscle throbs to eject the shot out. I call this the cute term “edgegasm”. Why does the body do this? Because as you bate, your body prepares for ejaculation. You are telling it that it will sperm soon, so it moves sperm from your testes into the tubes and sacks below your shaft. It does this in preparation to shoot.

    Now If you deny the ejaculation but keep bating, more and more sperm pools down there ready to go. It pools until your body just cannot pool more. You will by this stage be in a frenzy of self-love. If you aren’t, then you are not bating hard enough. So long as you don’t buzz kill by ejaculating, you will have one or more non-orgasmic ejaculations. Sperm will just ooze out. It’s a physical reaction to too much stimuli. And it’s fucking hot to behold.


    You can have multiple, beautiful, endless orgasms. This is the Holy Grail of male sexuality. A multiple non-ejaculatory orgasm. Or dry orgasms. Men can train themselves to orgasm without ejaculating. It is different to what you’ve been doing since you were 12 years old, but it is possible. Train yourself to do this and you will have an enhanced, more varied and satisfying sex life (either solo or partnered).

    Again, think about the crescendo of pleasure from 1-10. Get to an 8. Be on that 8 for half an hour or more. Now here is where I ask you to really pay attention to your body. Pound, pound, pound yourself and then stop… When you stop pounding your hand momentarily, can you feel your body respond with a jolt? A throb in your penis? That throb is your orgasm. It is masked when you are pounding away at it with your hand. You just feel your hand’s pressure/pleasure. But your orgasmic response is happening waaaaay before you shoot. Edge and hover at an 8 for long enough and you will feel that throbbing become increasingly involuntary. It will pulse away inside you several times when you stop pounding. You’ll get 2 or 3 beautiful, orgasmic, non-ejaculatory throbs. Notice it and cultivate it. In doing so, you are teaching yourself to orgasm without ejaculation.


    Expert edgers are not born that way. They become experts through experience. Expert edgers have spent many, many hours perfecting their craft. And you may laugh at this, but an expert edger is having way more fun than you. You know how I asked you to hover on an 8, well an expert edger can hover on a 9. Experts can edge within the fraction of a single stroke that will either keep them edged or send them over. That kind of power and control is rare. It is the realm of the technique sensei. A non-ejaculatory orgasm achieved on a 9 is a full blown dry orgasm. Sperm will not erupt but you will have an overwhelmingly pleasurable, throbbing, special, beautiful, mysterious and amazing orgasm. The best part is there is no refractory period. You do not go soft and need to wait an hour before you can have another one. You can have as many as one a minute! Have ten of these and you will not even need to ejaculate. It’s just a question of how you wrench yourself away from giving yourself another ten more.  Think about the implications for your pleasure if you can orgasm without ejaculation. That you can have multiple orgasms in one session. Believe me, I have been with men who have witnessed me doing this and it drives them crazy. I have been with men who, like me, are able to orgasm repeatedly, endlessly. It is beyond your imagination. Imagine the pleasure you could give to a partner if you can control your ejaculation masterfully.


    Though I have learnt many things in spending hours touching myself, there is only one truth. Your body is endlessly capable of tremendous pleasure and your sexuality is a deep well spring of mystery that you should dedicate your life to mastering. I never wish to gain all the knowledge of my sexuality. For if I did that, then I would certainly prefer to die. Instead I live each day in the secret hope that I push further in, open further out and make connections with myself that I never thought were possible. I wish the same for you.

    Write to me any time. I love to hear your experiences, your lessons and will answer your questions. Now stop reading, and get your hands on your dicks.



    No wiser words have ever been shared