funkyness

    having a “smart"phone for me is just

    *opens the clock app instead of the calculator app*

    *opens the calculator instead of the clock*

    blush-and-books

    *opens calendar instead of either of these*

    two-blue-stripes

    The phone may be smart but I’m a lost cause

    When Adam bit the apple he did it because he trusted Eve. Because he loved her. Adam bit into the apple because the woman he loved told him to, no matter what God said. No matter the rules of heaven. What’s heaven to a woman’s love anyway? What’s God to your wife? The first sins of humanity, were trusting others. Eve trusted a snake, Adam trusted Eve, and I trust you. Maybe that’s a sin, just like the first couple. Maybe everyone’s right about us and we’re sinners and we offend God. But like I said, what’s God to a woman’s love anyway? What has heaven got that I can’t find sitting next to you on a cool autumn morning?

    formerlyfebricant

    Prompt I will never do anything with: instead of being given to the Dursleys, Harry Potter is put up for adoption and is adopted by the Addams Family

    fieldbears

    Gomez, being forcibly removed from the stands of a Hogwarts quidditch match for the third time: MY BOY! MY BOY’S UP THERE! HE’S SEEKER!

    McGonagall, sweating: Mr. Addams, how do you keep sneaking onto grounds

    formerlyfebricant

    As I said to @door :

    Wednesday is woefully jealous of how dramatic Harry's origin is and fiercely protective of him, only SHE is allowed to torture him

    tygermama

    Harry's hair would be more slicked back and shinier than Draco could ever hope to achieve Harry still gets sorted into Gryffindor Morticia says he gets that from Gomez' side of the family

    crinosg

    Meanwhile Wednesday gets into Hogwarts as well,

    *During House assigning*

    Professor McGonnagal: Wednesday Addams.

    Wednesday *begins to get up*

    Sorting hat: Yeah no, no, sit back down kid. You’re Slytheren. I have never been more sure of anything in my existence.

    *Later at Slytheren dorm*

    Draco: Well look, if it isn’t Potter’s little Mudblood sister, listen up you little...

    Wednesday: *Shoots Malfoy a glare which instantly silences him.* You will listen to me and listen carefully. I do not like repeating myself. Harry is off limits. In fact, everyone in Gryffondor is off limits, that goes for the rest of you. If you cause ANY trouble for my adopted brother, you will answer directly to me. Is this understood?

    Draco:...Yes mum.

    *Later in potions class*

    Snape: Potter, you were two seconds late, twenty points from Gryffondor.

    Wednesday: *Picks up beaker and smashes it on the floor.* Professor Snape. I have wilfully destroyed school property. I believe that is a twenty point deduction from Slytheren house.

    Snape: Did you? Well I didn’t see it so.

    Wednesday: *Gets up, walks to the front of the class, looking Snape in the eye the entire time, smashes another beaker on the ground right in front of him.* Twenty. Points. From Slytheren.

    Snape:..... Alright then twenty points from Slytheren.

    Wednesday: *Returns to seat, still glaring at Snape*

    Snape: Now before we get on with classes I have the results of last weeks pop quiz, fairly expected stuff, Mr. Weasley you did adequate, but your penmanship was atrocious which is...

    Wednesday *Grabs another beaker and holds it up with a look on her face that says ‘I can keep this up as long as you can old man’*

    Snape:....Something you should work on in the future.

    *Later*

    Draco: Can’t you just expel her professor?

    Snape: Well I could in theory, but considering her muggle father keeps somehow sneaking in here I think whether she has permission to be here or not is rather Academic. Besides, I’m not crossing her after what she did to Umbridge.

    Draco: *Shudders* Don’t remind me.

    randomslasher

    This is one of those posts I'm going to watch for hopefully in future to see what awesome new additions it gets. Go on Tumblr, be brilliant!

    teethkeeper

    please keep me informed as well

    injuries-in-dust

    I just imagined the third book when they learn Sirius Black is trying to kill Harry, and is his godfather.

    Gomez: well that makes him family, we must invite him over.

    Harry: but father, everyone says he's trying to kill me.

    Gomez: oh, of course, how thoughtless of me. Lurch, put away the swords for guests and sharpen up the good swords we use for special occasions! A relative visiting is one thing, but a murderous relative needs to be celebrated.

    Harry: thank you, father.

    im-forever-a-fangirl

    XD and as soon as they find sirius is innocent hed be welcomed into the family with open arms.

    Can you imagine the Addams during the fight at the ministry of magic or at hogwarts?

    injuries-in-dust

    Gomez with a sword

    Mortitia with man eating plants

    Pugsley with explosives

    Wednesday just keeps pulling bigger and bigger weapons out of those tiny pockets on her dress. She has a wand but never uses it!

    A death eater turns a corner and she's inexplicably there with a cannon!

    ragingstinkingrottengay

    Okay but the Addams Family going off on Dumbledore for all the BS he put Harry through without warning him like he could have. (Because fuck that shit. Destiny/fate my ass.)

    saidebanks

    Just...just all of this... Mortisha: So how was your first year of schooling children? Wensday: *pouting* Harry got to see a 3 headed dog and play with it. Harry: Only a little! Gomez: Oh how fun! Maybe we should look into getting one or 2!

    dianamoonposts

    All the yes

    duhultimatenerd97

    How am I only just finding this, this is brilliant

    injuries-in-dust

    When they find out Lupin was fired for being a werewolf they offer him a place to stay. Granmama brews his wolfbane potion every month, better than Snape!

    And they start calling him "cousin Remus" before the end of the second week.

    lyrslair

    Hagrid, of course, is always welcome in their house along with any creatures he’s adopted and needs to hide from the authorities.

    randomslasher

    Well done, Tumblr. You did not disappoint me.

    tanzanitedepths

    Fanfiction Club: The Rules

    This idea came to me when I woke up first thing this morning.

    madlori

    This is gold.

    jumpingjacktrash

    i do not see a flaw

    mother-of-a-murder

    [SLAMMING REBLOG BUTTON REPEATEDLY]

    nooowestayandgetcaught

    NORMALIZING COMMENTING EVERY TIME YOU KUDOS BECAUSE FANFIC WRITERS CANT READ YOUR MIND TO KNOW WHAT YOUR FAVE PARTS WERE PLEASE

    thetangleddreamer

    Or at least reaching out to the writers and letting them know what you think!