Last update
2021-10-16 23:04:08

    Locktober 2021 - Day 16

    Size Teasing

    There are a few 'kinks' that often accompany a guy being into chastity play, and this is one of the most interesting.

    I grew up pretty innocent, until James got his hands on me... Even then, I didn't really look at much porn, and when I did, I have to be honest, I wasn't that focused on cock size. My husband has a nice one, I hadn't really thought about looking at others.

    Then one day in our shared secret blog (have you made one of those yet?!) he must have dropped in some caption that teased about cock size, they are pretty common.

    That caused me to ask him about it, what it did to him.

    'Interesting things' was his reply.

    Some guys do have a real fixation on their penis size, but my theory is that for most men it's the fact that their size is something they can't do anything about, is what makes it powerful. And there's definitely a connection if guys are into chastity, then they often get off on this kink.

    It's usually known as 'small penis humiliation' but I don't like that at all. Firstly, we're not really into humiliation, it's teasing that's fun and erotic. Also, 'small' is very relative. I've chatted with lots of others about this and many men who are well over average get excited with this, as long as they are smaller in comparison, and there's ALWAYS bigger! I even knew one couple who reversed the situation and the tease with him was he was too BIG, she wished he was smaller and he wasn't allowed in her, and she caged him up hoping to shrink him. SO COOL!

    So I call it simply 'size teasing' - yes there's some kind of embarrassment and power thing going on, even touching on humiliation with some of what's said, but teasing is the essence of it, for us at least.

    But there's absolutely power in it, and I do encourage you to talk about it, and to try it.

    My original Locktober post on it has suggestions of what to say along with pictures, which I can't now post her but you can read the back up of it on my blog:

    And beyond that I've gathered a load of size teasing resources (mostly on the site I can't mention) that I gathered for last year's Locktober.

    The idea with these is lots of hot pictures of big cocks. Have a look at them together, or get him to create an account on that other site and repost the ones he thinks you will like best.

    Or you can scroll through them as he goes down on you, or vibes you, and show him a few.

    What has truly surprised me, is how much I love that now. James adores the fact I'm now primally aroused by attractive penises. I'm not sure why, but it's fun. I don't want to fuck them (although I'd be fascinated to hold some, or even suck one through a gloryhole) but it's mostly this sexually appealing asthetic, PLUS the fact it drives hubby wild when I compare them to him.

    Hopefully that first post above will give you ideas of things to say, and you might find a new thrill, that thrills them too.

    At the very least, saying 'If you were this big I'd never want to cage you' is a winning line that will serve you forever.

    Enjoy! And do let us know how you get on with this one.

    Jane xxx


    (The following is an insightful piece written by Tumbelina, a lady who is very much a converted chastity advocate)

    (The following is an insightful piece written by Tumbelina, a lady who is very much a converted chastity advocate)

    The funny thing is that the sight of a cock lock and the idea of male chastity, would make even the most open minded vanilla person cringe. Most view this concept as a twisted fetish, very one sided by way of benefits for a woman, and as being cruel to endure on a man’s part.

    However, what many fail to see is that Mother Nature by default causes an imbalance in relationships between a man and a woman. Women are at a disadvantage, and by design the male sex libido prevents a man from fully investing in a relationship to the extent a woman does. He is unable to do so, because he requires a part of himself to be reserved for his own sexual needs and his impulsive self gratification cycle. This cycle in itself, comes with chemical changes in the body, of which cause a diminished level of investment on his part.

    If more vanilla people knew this, women would be running out and buying cock locks like they did back when they lost their minds over 50 Shades of Grey. Vanilla men don’t want women to catch on to this, as their relationships would cause them to divorce their dicks or risk divorcing their wives.

    How does male chastity benefit an everyday normal relationship outside of sexual? The biggest benefit is the side effects and resulting symptoms of abstinence from masturbation, that lend themselves as positives to the relationship. Men may not see these as positive benefits, but the fact that it provides for true will power and it refines a man’s behavioral psyche…

    You see, the process of masturbation involves a mental compulsion, that prompts a physical sexual impulsiveness… It’s actually a very primal behavior and equivalent to the level of an animalistic mentality. Altering the course of this cycle produces more refined and sophisticated human behaviors. It allows for a transferring of resources to the emotional part of the brain, and it prompts a man to seek out fulfillment on a deeper level. It essentially bypasses the dick drain distraction, and allows for the brain to become more aware of its surroundings. It’s almost like turning down the blaring stereo music, and finally realizing that hey ‘listen, I hear birds chirping outside!’… A sound that went unrecognized when the self serving dick rock concert played on infinite repeat lol…

    The biggest benefactor that not many people realize?

    Male masturbation creates an emotional barrier in relationships and allows a man to remain somewhat disconnected in a very self sufficient and self serving way. Chastity helps remove this barrier and causes a man to have a deeply rooted dependency for his spouse. With masturbation, a man’s emotional offerings are at a level that’s considered sufficient for a male, but insufficient on a female level. Chastity ups a man’s offerings to the level a female requires in order to feel ultimate fulfillment. The very reason why women are known as naggers, always wanting more… ‘It’s never good enough’ is because of the masturbation barrier… If this was not a factor, women would not be associated with these undesirable traits because we’d be much more content. Women wouldn’t feel the need to ‘fight for their food’ and look to secure their emotional meals.

    These female feedings do not exclude sex! Chastity forces a man to become truly invested in her pleasures. Men are naturally known to be pleasers in bed… Many men I’ve known have had the mentality ‘I’ll make you come and when you’re done I’ll come’… That’s a considerate male… At best… Understand that this mentality is STILL SELF SERVING on a man’s part! He requires this to stroke his ego. A man needs to feel as though he’s taken care of business, and then gotten his too by getting physical gratification. Once again, it’s double feedings for his needs, and most often she’s faking the orgasms to help stroke him even more. Our emotional ego is tied into our sexual one, whether we’re having sex or saying ‘I love you’ our core needs are being nurtured. This is why a woman is at a disadvantage as she loses out overall.

    Masturbation in a relationship is selfish and self serving on a man’s part… Chastity allows for balance and is a selfless act that a man should be willing to embrace if he truly loves his spouse and wants her to find ultimate fulfillment and happiness. When it comes to a woman’s emotional needs, her cup is never full if masturbation is a factor. Chastity increases a man’s tolerance and it neutralizes his male aggressiveness… It also satisfies a woman to the extent that it neutralizes her excessive needs and the feeling that she has to chase down her emotional and sexual meals… There would be a lot more successful relationships and happier couples if the masturbation barrier didn’t exist.

    Think about this for a moment…

    Sex means the most to a man (as it ties to his emotional ego) and emotional fulfillment means the most to a woman (as it ties to her sexuality) … As a man, Imagine what it would be like if your sex life lacked fulfillment? Your spouse could never quite deliver the quality of sex that makes you feel content… And it was always just ok and sufficient cause there’s no other option… But deep down you know it could be better? This is the exact situation a woman encounters in a relationship, when it comes to her emotional needs. Her emotional fulfillment threshold is at a female level, yet his offerings are limited to the male threshold that he himself finds sufficient… And it’s due to the energy he must reserve for the personal relationship he has with his penis. Men always have this expectation that it’s a woman’s duty to deliver the goods and take care of a man’s needs, if she expects him to stay invested and not stray… Yet a woman is expected to stay equally invested regardless of the level of emotional fulfillment….

    He still gets to have his self serving sexual gratification cycle on the side and offer only the left over energy and resources available… While she remains fully invested at all times. The reality is even if a woman engages in masturbation, it does not have the same chemical effects to her female brain and body, and she is able to maintain full investment in the relationship.

    Kind of a double standard don’t you think? If a man has those expectations of a woman, he should be willing to hand over all of his sexual/emotional energy and invest it ALL into the relationship. Lastly, the reason why men are viewed as more independent than women is because they have the ability to fully satisfy their most primary need (being sex) all on their own. The idea that they need not depend on a woman for the one thing they cannot live without.

    Women on the other hand, are incapable of serving their most primary need (being emotional) without the help of their male spouse. He holds the key to her ultimate fulfillment, and he also holds the key to his own ultimate fulfillment. This is why men have the upper hand as being the more dominant sex. Yes, women are a male weakness… But it’s a desire not a need. Chastity equalizes that all…. As long as men have access to masturbation, they never truly have both feet invested in a relationship and to the point of dependency. Chastity evens out the playing field and allows for a fair game with no one side having an upper advantage over the other.

    In a man’s defense, he cannot be faulted for this… As he himself has no control over the male sex brains compulsions and resulting impulsive behaviors. However, a man does have control over the choices he makes to help bypass and remedy this cycle. Making the ultimate sacrifice that allows him to become fully invested in the relationship.

    Male chastity is not one sided and ‘cruel’… it’s an added rider that one smart woman places on the relationship, and one selfless man willingly accepts, that helps make for two equal sides. It teaches a man how to seek out and enjoy sexual fulfillment from his spouse and in other forms. Male chastity is the key (and lock) to the ultimate relationship.


    Such a great read. I have been in chasity almost since the begining of our relationship; we pretty much bypassed any vanilla stage of the early relationship (we actually met on a vanilla date!); being locked up and us discovering our real desire for an FLR was our ‘eureka’ moment. Be brave; embrace chasitity - it’s fab.

    Thank you @chastityandheelsqueen


    This nails it!

    Just do it ❤🔐


    Counterintuitive to the male thought process

    Locktober 2021 - Day 15

    Pamper Night, with a twist

    So as promised, today's your pamper day. Remind him he's responsible for making sure you have a lovely evening, with a meal, and activities. Some sexy and romantic notes through the day will never go far amiss, and if he isn't buying you flowers then he probably isn't in a small enough cock cage :)

    This is much more common these days, but you might want to surprise him with what you do down there, by shaving, either in the bath or earlier in the day. He is going to spend a lot of time licking you this evening, and while I was sceptical, I finally tried shaving down there a few years back and wow. You don't have to shave off everything or get a Brazilian wax (that is the one that takes everything? Whatever, you know what I mean) From what I remember reading, pubic hair in general is good for your sexual health. But I highly recommend you shaving around the important bits and just leaving the top trimmed. It made everything feel even better when he's down there, and hubby says it makes it easier too. Plus, he thinks it's super hot. There will be some YouTube videos on it or something I'm sure. It takes some time (I prefer a wax) but definitely worth the effort and potentially pain!

    That's not the twist though...

    I'd highly recommend some wine or cocktails with dinner or while you bathe etc That's because I'm going to suggest something that you may think is crazy, or gross, or just, a very bad idea. I thought that too. Then I tried it.

    Getting a nice massage is a key part of your pamper evening, heck you might even get him to paint your toenails if you dare. But when you get into the good stuff, him going down on you, and taking his time pleasuring you, with his mouth, toys, and hands, I'm going to dare you to do something very VERY naughty.

    Get a vibrator if you have one, or keep your clitoris stimulated as you do this, it makes you much braver (as does the booze) and... turn over and tell him you want him to lick your bottom. Yes, your bottom. Your ass, whatever you call it. You will have, of course, got it squeaky clean in the bath or shower and also shaving there is a very good idea (if tricky). But let me tell you it feels AMAZING. Both physically, it's incredibly intimate and sexy and pleasurable, but also mentally, that you're doing something so crazy, so naughty, that you're really pushing your boundaries.

    Even if you just try it for ten seconds, that's brilliant. If you do like it, try to stay there longer, and encourage him. Tell him it feels good. Tell him it feels naughty. Try different positions, either your hips on a pillow, or up on your knees. If it's the latter you can arch your back a bit and he can try to get to your clit too.

    See if you can bring yourself to orgasm as he does this, it'd be very hot for you both. Then get him to come back up, and tell you how it was for him.

    He's still locked at this point. I'd suggest you unlock him if you're doing that and just cuddle and play with his cock. If you're feeling naughty from what you've been doing, then you can try straddling him, but straddle his chest, not his legs. This does a few things. It lets you really focus on his cock and teasing it, almost in a detached way. Use the massage oil or coconut oil on it, see if you can get him close.

    This position also means you can move down and sit on his cock 'reverse cowgirl' if you fancy it. But with more potential given what you just did, you can shift up his body, and present your bottom back to him... You can also lean over and turn it into the 69 position. It takes some self control, but personally being made to orgasm while I have his cock in my mouth is one of my favourite things. The fact I now leave him hard, and don't take him over, drives him crazy.

    If you really want to I supposed you could ruin him. But given you're pushing the boundaries anyway, if you DO ruin him from a blowjob, here's your challenge. Stop just as he starts spurting, no sucking, just your lips around his cock, and catch his cum in your mouth. And then, turn around, watch his reaction as he realises what you're about to do, and kiss him, let his cum pour into his mouth. You could just let it go a bit, or all of it, or share. He's expected you to swallow his cum, I bet. Now it's his turn. He won't really want to, in the moment, he's just orgasmed. But make him do it anyway, he'll look back and think it's the hottest thing ever. Plus I just love the justice of it being HIS cum. Why shouldn't he swallow, right?

    Okay, well I hope there's plenty of ideas for your evening. Let me know how it goes!

    Jane xxx

    Locktober 2021 - Day 14

    Release Day? Not so fast.

    So, for those of you following the plan this day is the end of a five day lock up. I know lots of you will be locked up longer, but for those new to this five days is brilliant. So well done.

    The thing about tease and denial though, is that sometimes the men shouldn't get what they deserve, or were promised... because the very hottest bits of this are when we confound their expectations. That's when we can really relish in the power it gives us, and see it impact them in a new way.

    So today, I want you to explore that dynamic. Lube up their caged cock and play with it, play with their balls, squeeze them gently, stroke what skin is exposed, get them hard in the cage, and talk about how they are feeling and how good it would feel to be out of the cage.

    And then talk about what it would do to them if you changed your mind. If you didn't let them out. Don't say what you're going to do either way, the real power and fun is when they don't know, when they are waiting on your mercy or your meanness. See how hard you can get them in the cage, and perhaps vibe yourself to really get in the mood. But as suggested the other day, don't orgasm, see how being on the edge makes you feel, more merciful, or meaner?

    And here's my suggestion, start to use the vibe on their cage. It depends what type it is (if you have one at all, if not, go get some in the Lovehoney Sale right now) but try moving it around, on the ring, the top of the cage, underneath wedged between the cage and their balls. See where feels best.

    Do be careful about pinching. When they are hard, catching their skin between the cage and the vibe hurts. So slide it in place gently. But I'm hoping that you can get them closer and closer to orgasm like this. It's a very strange experience, James tells me, the mix of pleasure with the pain and frustration of not being able to get a full erection. I like that.

    So when you've found a good spot it's important to say to them, 'You're not allowed to come. If you go over I'm going to ruin it, and you're staying caged.'

    See where this is going?

    Here's an important rule. No matter what you're doing to them, it is ALWAYS their fault if they come. Their lack of self control. Their inability to last. No matter if you are pumping their cock for all your worth, it's STILL their fault.

    If you want some inspiration search for 'chastity cage ruins' on Pornhub etc.

    Because that is what I suggest you do. Deliberately take them over until they start to spurt in their cage. Instantly take the vibrations away to ruin the orgasm, and if you're like me, giggle a bit at the sight, and the noises they make.

    'Oh honey, what happened? Couldn't you hold back? Oh dear, I told you, that means you don't get to be unlocked today. Poor baby.'

    And here's the killer line:

    'And I supposed, if you can come in your cage, that means I might not need to unlock you much at all.'

    Leave them thinking about that as they make you have one or several nice full orgasms.

    Now remember, tomorrow's pamper night so make sure they have got busy planning what that means. Obvious things are them organising nice food and drink, running a fancy bath, giving you a massage, watching whatever movie you want. Oh and lots of oral sex.

    More info in tomorrow's post, including a very kinky twist!

    Bye for now!

    Jane xxx

    Locktober 2021 - Day 13

    Caring is sharing

    So… here’s big challenge for you!

    Rather than just teasing about telling a friend, I want you to think about really doing it.

    You obviously need to be cautious with this, you know your friends best. But if you have a girlfriend who might just be open to hearing about the fact you’re into this, and trust to keep it a secret, I challenge you to bring it up.

    How? Well I think dropping ‘Locktober’ into the mix might be the easiest way actually.

    There’s a lot of acceptance of things like National ‘Insert thing here’ Day or month. Movember’s become a big fund raising thing with moustaches. Well, Locktober can be a thing too!

    Let me emphasise the trust thing though. If you can’t risk anyone finding out about this you should just keep it private unless you complete trust that person to keep your confidence.

    What’s good about using Locktober as your way into a conversation is it’s something outside of you, that you can say you’re ‘trying’. You don’t have to go into a conversation saying ‘hey we love chastity play, have you tried it?’

    How might it go…

    So, hubby and I have been trying this thing called Locktober, have you heard of it?

    Locktober? No, what’s that?

    Well it’s kinda kinky, you won’t freak out? I thought you’d enjoy hearing about it though.

    Oh hell, now you HAVE to tell me!

    Promise you’ll keep it secret, just between us? Not even your hubby?

    Of course, you know me now TELL ME

    Okay, oh god I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this…Basically, he’s teased all month, but not allowed to, you know, cum… so he’s crazy horny, it’s so much fun!

    No waaaay! OMG All month?! wow

    You’re not freaking out?

    No I love it, tell me more!!!

    So at any point, if they look negative about it, just stop! It really is that simple. You’re confessing that you’re trying something that has come as an idea from others, it’s very different from saying ‘this is what we’re into’. it’s not something you’re doing forever, it’s just something you’re trying out for a laugh as far as they are concerned.

    At this point you can pass it off as ‘I saw it and thought it might be a bit of fun’ and leave it at that. You’re kinkier than them, and that’s okay.

    Notice I haven’t mentioned at all his cock is in a cage yet. SAVE THAT until you are sure they like the idea and are positive about it. REALLY SURE.

    And if you’re happy they are…

    Do you want to know the hottest bit?

    Hell yes!

    I lock his cock up in a cage

    No WAY!

    A tight little cage that only I have the key to. He can’t get to his cock without me letting him, it’s awesome!

    I’m dying here! This is the greatest thing you’ve ever told me!

    He won’t believe I’ve told you, hold on, I should let him know, he’ll freak out, it’ll be so funny…

    And really, do that. Let him know. Right as you’re telling her if you can. It’ll be such a crazy feeling for him.

    And yes, don’t get too carried away, remember this is new to them. Answer questions they have if you’re comfortable doing it. Make them repeat the promise not to tell.

    Then be honest about it if you want to, about how it’s brought greater intimacy, how much fun it’s been, revitalising sex lives, etc. It really is a great thing, just, surprising – heck, we were surprised! Tell them a bit about how you started off perhaps, just, less is better, make sure they want to know, answering questions THEY ask is your best bet.

    And if they are very curious, if you simply get them to google ‘locktober tumblr’ they’l find my introductory locktober post last year as the first result! But don’t tell them that unless they are truly positive and want to find out more, it’ll be a baptism of fire going onto tumblr…

    So, there you go, dare issued! Be smart with it but if you trust them, it’d be great to have a friend who knows I think. I’m excited, and scared, but mostly excited!

    And just imagine if her reaction was..

    You’re doing Locktober TOO?!


    Thanks to @grumpy2017 who I nicked the wonderful captions above from.

    Locktober 2021 - Day 12

    Mutual Edging

    I hope you're enjoying the benefits of all the things we're exploring this Locktober. However, it's easy to fall into the trap of it all being about him, even though that isn't the intention. And whether or not that's the case, it can be hard work trying all these new things or being the one in charge.

    I'm not naturally dominant. I'm assertive, and I'm happy to take the lead in things I'm good at, but in terms of our marriage, and sex, my preference has always been on the submissive side. And I think it's fair to say that's true for a lot of women. So sometimes taking that leading role with chastity play can be hard work. I know how hot it is to be mean, and to be creative, etc, etc. But with life, and kids, and work and more, it's not alway easy.

    So firstly I want to acknowledge that if you feel that way, that's totally okay, and I think many of us do! But here's a great tip to get you in the zone.

    Try edging! Try having him take you to the edge of orgasm but not go over. See how it makes you feel.

    I know, a lot of the focus is edging him and filling up his balls. But have you tried the effects on yourself too? A lot of James and my initial exploration with tease and denial was actually focused on me.

    So this is my tip, for today, or maybe even try overnight and getting edged again in the morning. See if it helps. Does it make the experience more fun for you. Does it help you empathise with what he's going through? Do your orgasms feel even better when you do have them?

    And most of all does it energise you to feel sexy, and be mean and motivated to edge and deny him? If so you might have found a new secret weapon.

    Jane xxx

    Locktober 2021 - Day 10

    Turn him on, and keep him locked

    So today the basic task is pretty simple, turn him on as much as possible and reinforce he has four (or 21 lol) days left in that cage before he gets any release.

    I’ll leave it to you to pick which combination of these, plus any you think of, will work best:

  • plug his butt- not just at bed time, but when he gets home, or even earlier in the day if he’s used to it! Make him wear it and whisper to him, ‘I love your arse being stuffed for me, I bet it makes your balls even fuller!
  • send him texts to turn him on, tell him how horny him being caged makes you, let him know you’re masturbating thinking about it (do it or just pretend, either is hot), say that him being caged so long really makes you want to tell your friends because you’re so proud, send him sexy pictures of yourself if you like doing that.
  • use your shared blog, tell him to find you pictures on a certain theme that you know will turn him on, or just ‘post pictures that make your cock ache in your cage’
  • set him a task of ‘finding some porn that we can enjoy together later’
  • When you get to bed you then follow up with the ideas from earlier, review the blog posts, watch the porn together and any mix of him being teased or pleasuring you, just remember, the cage stays on and you should cum, a lot!

    One fun twist on the porn idea is going to the categories page on Pornhub or similar and get the other person to pick categories they are most interested in and then choose a video to watch, or laugh at in some cases 📷 It can be quite interesting to find out what type turns him on most, if you want to know…

    By the way, some warning, next Friday is Pamper Night – Yay!!! So tell him today, he is responsible for planning a nice meal for the two of you, take out or eat out or him cooking. Plus, you’ll be enjoying a nice bath run by him so he could get you some nice bits and pieces during the day, or even some flowers or presents.

    Locktober 2021 - Day 7

    Going Down and Staying Down

    So a nice one today, some training for him, on going down on you.

    He’s going to stay caged, and spend the entire time down between your legs.

    But this time it’s a game. You see you have to set some secret criteria.

    An amount of time, and a number of times you cum. You don’t tell him what they are, just that you know.

    If he meets BOTH those criteria then afterwards you can reward him with a nice long edging. Otherwise he just stays locked up.

    I’d go for something like half an hour and four orgasms but you could make it harder or easier. If he’s not done it much then his tongue will be worn out after 15 mins or so. But he can use fingers or a vibe to mix it up!

    Get somewhere comfy for this. Lying in bed is of course a good start but it’s often easier if you’re on the edge of the bed so he can kneel and be more upright – he can breathe more easily and move around more. Or sitting on a sofa is hot, or lying back in a chair like

    So while he goes down on you, you can do what you fancy! Read a book, put on some TV, browse Tumblr. I’d personally go for something sexy, read some erotica, watch some porn, let him hear that, comment on it, tease him… so good.

    A few things you can do to make this sexy for him too.

    • Be vocal. Yes, you are putting it on a bit but that’s OKAY! It turns him on like crazy and actually it’s really just letting it out. When he gets something right, make noises to show him! Say it feels good, swear under your breath.
    • Grab his head, his hair, press him on you – so hot – even rub yourself against him
    • Tease him – remind him of his caged cock, how much you love it, how it must be straining, dripping, that you should just keep him like this, all you need is his mouth now
    • Instruct him – don’t just leave it all to him, take control sometimes, tell him what to do – lick my clit, tongue fuck me, suck gently on my clit, finger fuck me, stick your finger in my…  – it’s fun treating him like a sex toy! And then, of course, tell him, ‘make me cum now!’ when you want to
    • Be daring, try some bum licking – try lifting your knees up and telling him – lick lower… or simply rolling over and presenting your bottom to him – then rub or vibe yourself so you cum while he licks your bum

    And if he hasn’t STUDIED this yet, make sure he does:

    How to give Cunnilingus like a Superstar

    And remember, if he hits his secret targets… reward him. Or don’t! Your choice

    Isn’t this the greatest?

    Full Lockdown

    You just don’t let him out Promise him some stroking through the cage and teasing, if he hits his targets...

    Locktober 2021 - Day 6

    Take a chance...

    I hope you’re enjoying everything so far! Thanks so much for those lovely people giving me feedback, you are most appreciated! I know I keep saying it but it’s so helpful hearing back from people, so please do add notes to your reblogs or send me a message, it’s great!

    Hubby and I do things a bit differently from how chastity is often portrayed on Tumblr and elsewhere and it’s so useful to understand what is and isn’t useful – I won’t take it personally, I promise!

    So, part of that difference is that I’m not some all-controlling domme but in fact my natural comfort zone is being submissive. So sometimes when I’m struggling with taking the lead in chastity play something that can really help is semi-delegate my responsibilities to chance!

    I love games of chance, so that’s the idea today. And things might get a bit more switchy at points!

    The Coin Game – Part 1 – Day edges

    So to start the day you give your caged fella a coin. At any point during the day  he can give you the coin, and you flip it   (although you can limit it to once or twice before the bedtime game whatever you fancy and have time or energy for).

    If it’s heads, he gets edged. If it’s tails, he has to stay in the cage and do what you want. This might be him licking you, rubbing you, massaging you, or you might just give him a job around the house or task to do!

    However, if you choose him stimulating you, you’re at the mercy of the coin too. When you get close you have to toss the coin again. Heads you can cum, tails you just get edged and left horny!

    If he gets heads try and do it a bit differently from just having him lie in bed. Maybe he sits on the edge of the bed and you kneel, or have him stand!

    Of course at no time does he cum, as soon as he’s had the one edge, he goes back in the cage. Maybe set no limits on amount of them at first but if he’s doing it too much say ‘no more coin tosses for two hours’ – you’re still in charge!

    The Coin Game – Part 2 – Bedtime!

    So that’s how the day works, but come evening time, you regain more control as the game of chance continues.

    Firstly, if you have something like viagra I suggest you give him one an hour or two before bedtime. The longer before of course, the more likely he is to get hard in his cage and suffer, so that’s up to you. Do be aware he shouldn’t be left too hard for too long while he’s caged as it is probably bad for his cock. If you don’t have pills a cock ring at appropriate times will do,and yes an elastic band can do nicely if not too tight.

    So, bedtime again, both need a good shower and then after he’s pleased you in whatever way you want  (but you aren’t allowed to cum yet) optionally restrain him (I think it works well for this game) and say the game is going to continue.

    Each round you are going to tell him what the heads and tails options are, and he can choose to continue, or to stop, in which case it’s over and he goes back in his cage.

    You don’t have to take him out of his cage until he gets a first heads result (unless you want to or if you’ve given him viagra etc, and you need to).

    Here are the heads and tails option for each successive round:

    • Heads – cage comes off, he gets you to grind on his cock as you wear panties;
      ils – he gets you to grind on his cock as you wear panties, but the cage doesn’t come off
    • Heads – he gets to rub his cock between your lubed breasts;
      ils he sucks and licks your breasts for as long as you want
    • Heads he gets a handjob edge;
      s – he rubs and vibes you to the edge, but no cumming for you yet either (if he’s tied up you could sit on his face or just edge yourself while he watches!)
    • Heads – hands and mouth edge for him;
      ils – he licks your pussy and asshole if you fancy it (again no cumming)
    • Heads – he gets you to ride his cock;
      ils – you ride a strap on OR if you don’t have one ride his cock but first you put either double condoms on him or if you have one, a penis sheath so he can’t feel much – you can orgasm! Yay!
    • Heads – he gets stroked and sucked while you push a finger or toy in his bottom (I usually put a condom on my finger);
      ils – more clit and ass licking, but this time to orgasm (if you want to untie him so you can have him in  better position that’s your call)
    • Heads– he gets a ruined orgasm (see note);
      ls – his cock and balls get tortured, smacking, squeezing and if you have it, coated with some menthol rub

    Note  It depends where you are with your guy as to whether you want to actually ruin him or not. Some may be desperate enough to do it now, but on the whole I’d suggest try to avoid it even if they win.

    Saying they are going to get an orgasm or a ruin and then just, changing your mind because you are the ‘keyholder’ is really hot, apparently!

    Ways to do this… lie! Say they got tails and torture them anyway lol, or if you’ve already ruined them by accident this week, you edge them, ask them if they are ready to be ruined, and then stop, and say, ‘Oh you used that up earlier in the week darling, I hope you enjoyed it then’ and stop. Even if he hasn’t been ruined by accident, just change your mind when he’s on the edge! That’s your prerogative!

    So again, unless you think your guy really needs his balls emptying, don’t do it.

    Also remember the game is that he gets to choose if the game stops (but it’s very unlikely he’d stop before challenge 7 I’d think).

    Menthol rub hurts A LOT. Once you’ve put it on there is nothing you can do to stop it. I suggest you dilute it by mixing it with some lotion, start with a little, and add more after you’ve waited at least five minutes for the effects to kick in. A good distraction is sitting on his face and making him eat you out as he suffers – well, at least it stops the whining!

    A variation: he never sees the coin result – you just tell him whichever one you want it to be each round. ‘Oh no honey, tails AGAIN?!’ lol. Of course you could do this to give him the heads results you like too!

    If he gets annoyed at being denied the ruined orgasm then remind yourself this is why he’s trying denial, and that this was his choice, to put you in charge. Put the cage back on him, and tell him if he acts like that again he won’t be coming out at all!

    But most of all, make sure you have fun, and push yourself to try a few new things if you can,that’s what it’s all about. Don’t worry too much about the rules if you don’t want to!

    Full Lockdown Version

    So, most of that doesn’t really work for those of us keeping him caged throughout Locktober, so here’s an alternate version!

    • Heads – he gets you to grind on his cock as you wear panties and you play with his nipples
      ils – you sit behind him and play with his nipples and tease him about being caged – maybe have a vibe in your panties while you do it
    • Heads – he gets his nipples licked and sucked
      ils he sucks and licks your breasts for as long as you want
    • Heads he gets a handjob on his cage, lube up and stroke, and make him suffer
      s – he rubs and vibes you to the edge, but no cumming for you yet either (if he’s tied up you could sit on his face or just edge yourself while he watches!)
    • Heads – hands and mouth playing with his caged cock and balls, lick and suck it
      ils – he licks your pussy and asshole if you fancy it (again no cumming)
    • Heads – use a male masturbator on his cock cage (or just a lubed hand again)
      ils – you ride a strap on OR if you don’t have one ride his cock but first you put either double condoms on him or if you have one, a penis sheath so he can’t feel much – you can orgasm! Yay!
    • Heads – he gets stroked and sucked while you push a finger or toy in his bottom (I usually put a condom on my finger);
      ils – more clit and ass licking, but this time to orgasm (if you want to untie him so you can have him in  better position that’s your call)
    • Heads– he gets a ruined orgasm (see note above);
      ls – his cock and balls get tortured, smacking, squeezing and if you have it, coated with some menthol rub


    Jane xxx

    Locktober 2021 - Day 9

    The Lock Up!

    So, as warned, today we’re going to start an extended lock-up of five days. Now I know for some who are really into denial that’s nothing, but for us and the way we do it, and to anyone newish to this, five days is a long time!

    The way we usually do this, as you’ve seen, is while hubby may have a cage on for lots of the time for weeks… he’s regularly coming out for teasing and edging and just nights or days off as part of that.

    The idea for these five days is no release, at all. Once that cage clicks shut today it won’t be opened again until Wednesday (yes I know, four nights, five days whatever!)

    Now for some of you who either have badly fitting cages or for other reasons like not wearing it to work it may be that you can’t do the five days straight and that’s fine, you just want to wear them as much as possible with no touching in between on an honour system.

    Likewise if you have a plastic cage you may have to take it off for a rinse and freshen up at the midpoint, although a power shower jetted into the cage plus lots of shower gel should be able to carry you through (a cotton bud to dry it out on the inside is helpful, I’ve heard).

    So why are we doing this extended lock up? Well firstly, for curiosity. A big part of the chastity fantasy is about really long lock-up times with no release at all. This is a taste of that. It gives you and him a chance to explore how that feels and what effects it has on him.

    Secondly, if you’ve been doing this every day then serious congratulations to you! It’s been pretty full-on, and this gives us keyholders a bit of downtime.

    That doesn’t mean we won’t be doing things with you, just, we won’t have a cock to tease as it’ll be all safely locked away!

    Tonight’s plan

    So tonight is pretty simple.

    Once in bed get him to give you a warm-up (I hope you’re still remembering to make him do that!) and then restrain him.

    Time for a nice final tease. Use your mouth, lubed hands, and your pussy as you wish. I particularly encourage you to try grinding on him. This is best done with a vibe too so that he can watch you rub his cock back and forth between your pussy lips and you cum while all he can is watch.

    If you feel self-conscious about that then blindfolding him is a great solution, and very sexy too.

    Once you’ve cum a few times go back to edging him with your hand and then talk about how it’s been, but also about the fact you’re now going to lock him up for five days. This may be news to him or you may have mentioned it before.

    Some starter questions to discuss:

    How does the idea of your cock locked up for nearly a week without any release make you feel?

  • Should I do this, you want me to lock you up for this long? (I’m pretty sure he will but this is good to reassure you!)
  • What if you’re desperate, or beg to be let out, should I ignore you unless you use a safeword?
  • What should I make you do while you’re locked up?
  • What would you like as a reward once I let you out if you make it all five days?
  • And what if, once we got to the fifth day, I decided I liked having you locked up and just kept you that way, would that be hot?
  • And then, tease him right to the edge but be very careful not to let him go over today, we want him as horny as possible with full balls even as the five days starts. Don’t be tempted to ruin him or let him cum today!

    Then, stop, tell him that’s it, and wait for him to go down and if at all possible, YOU lock him up.

    You should take the key, and if there’s a spare key, make sure you have that too.

    If he needs the spare key for emergencies simply seal it in a little envelope so you can tell if he got to it.

    Please note, these things aren’t just to make sure he’s not cheating, although it does that. The main reason is it’s really hot for you to take away any option for him to cheat!

    And so it begins!

    Full Lockdown

    You’ve been like this already for 12 days, clever you! Revisit some of the content from Locktober already and have some fun with it together.

    Locktober 2021 - Day 8

    Plugged and pleasured…

    Congratulations, we are into our second week! That's some of the basics covered so we're going to push ourselves a bit more now.

    So, a warning, tomorrow we’re going to try our first extended lock up – five days with little or no release from his cage.

    Of course being in the cage for an extended period doesn’t mean no stimulation, no no that would be boring! So tonight we are going to do a bit more exploring of one of the main pleasure areas besides the cock, so he’s more ready for it once locked up. His bottom!

    We mainly explored playing on the outside the other night. Now we’re going to add that other element if you haven’t already – penetration.

    If you’ve got some experience in anal play and he’s home during the day or when he gets home you might want to get him to wear the plug (or for real pros, even wear it to work!). Let him prepare himself and put it in that first time, and then I suggest you make your freshly plugged man eat your pussy!

    However, most of the fun is going to happen in the evening. After a thorough shower and butt wash, snuggle up with a couple of drinks (booze is lube for the mind!), and unlock and begin to play with him, and then talk through what anal means for him. Discuss how it went the other night if you did that, just be open about how it was for both of you. You may discover he’s experimented quite a lot, alternatively you may find he is very worried about the penetration side ‘being gay’. Take the chance to talk anything through and emphasise that it’s just another way to give him pleasure and turn him on, and he’s very lucky to have the prostate gland up there that can actually feel amazing (something we women don’t).

    Unlock him and start to play with his cock and add the fact that you like the idea of him being plugged for you as he’s getting used to the cage now and this is another reminder that he’s denied and to keep him even hornier.

    Full Lockdown

    Just don’t unlock him but do the rest!

    Now, keep stimulating him and begin to reach down and rub his perineum (the gap between his balls and arse) and then the entrance to his bum.Lots of lube, lots of rubbing, and then begin to push a finger in as you play. If you want to you can slip a condom over your finger, some might even like the rubber glove medical look! Get him to describe how it feels all the time. He needs to be relaxed and enjoying himself for it to feel good.

    Now, if you’ve got one, grab the butt plug and start to use it instead of your finger, playing around the entrance then into him with again more lube. The magic moment is when he’s stretched open with it and then his bum sucks it up and it settle into place.

    This is why you NEVER use anything without a flanged base for this kind of play, or you’ll end up with a very embarrassing trip to the hospital!

    Depending on the plug design you can fuck it in and out all the way or just smaller depths, whatever feels best really. Keep getting his feedback.Once the plug is in it might be a good opportunity to get him down on his knees eating your pussy and you can judge if it helps his performance!

    If he’s really getting into this you might want to upgrade the plug to a dildo. You could get him to do it at this point if you wish, or try it yourself. Just be careful, you do NOT want to make him cum, and that’s very possible. So just go slow and don’t be too enthusiastic, this is just training! We want his balls nice and full for the coming lock up!

    If you want, finish with an edge or two and leave the plug in him longer or even overnight!

    If you haven’t cum yet, then make sure that happens!

    Some tips: you can add a condom to the butt plug if you want ease of cleaning, they work better with some than others. You MUST use a condom on the dildo if you use it on yourself (although with silicon or glass dildos a really good clean with proper soap and water and a toy cleaner should be fine.)

    If you don’t use a condom on butt plug, either go to the bathroom to take it out or have a little plastic bag by the bed to pop it in to keep things clean. If you’ve washed yourself out well before it should be fine but it’s still your bum!

    So, as with the warning about butt plugs in advance, you should know I’m planning to do a session where you try pegging near the ‘climax’ of Locktober, so, if you fancy exploring that (and remember even if you don’t it’s brilliant for HIM to wear when caged so you can still be fucked) then check out the amazing range at our favourite store Lovehoney

    Also, if you are really into exploring this you might want to consider a remote controlled vibrating plug. Lovense are our favourite brand and cheapest direct from the manufacturer (you'll pay an extra $30-40 dollars at Lovehoney etc). This is their prostrate toy, appropriately named the Edge 2 :P

    and then also do a couple of butt plugs called the Hush

    lol love that last picture from them!!

    We just got the Lush vibrator from them direct and it's been REALLY good. Quiet, powerful, reliable. A LOT of fun.

    Locktober 2021 - Day 4

    Hello ruins my old friend

    So, today, we’re going to explore the infamous ‘ruined orgasm’.

    I’m sure some of you reading this are pros at these already, but for those who aren’t, the ruined orgasm is a wonderful tool in our denial handbag. While it lets him empty his balls, it doesn’t give him any of the pleasure of a proper orgasm because you stop all stimulation as soon as he goes over the edge of climax (if not before) and he ejaculates, but it’s not pleasurable.

    In general, it also tends to keep them hornier than they would have been with a full orgasm, but that does vary.

    Now the other thing I’m giving you today, is a script! This is something I’ve done a few times, and the idea is you can use it to tease him, to give you some ideas of things to say, and to inspire you with other stuff you can make up yourself. My original version of this had some relevant pictures and links in too but those aren’t allowed in Tumblr now so what I suggest you do is explore this ruined orgasm subreddit that has lots of pertinent pictures and use them as you feel led!

    If you don’t know Reddit, or just for ease of use, you can just view the images using this link:

    You can also find plenty on sites like Pornhub too.

    Full Lockdown This can be your first chance to try ruining him in the cage! Get a good vibrator like a mains powered wand vibe, and explore where you can put it on the cage that stimulates him the most (and what speed is most effective).I know some of you hardcore lot will not want to let him cum, even if it’s ruined, so just play with this as you feel fit and change your mind at the end! Or just lock him up and read it to him as you let him eat you out – it’s called a rehearsal!You’ll need to adapt the script below as it’s designed for taking the cage off, but I’m sure you can manage that.

    Ruined Orgasm Script

    To follow it precisely he should start clothed and caged, and you should have his key on a necklace. You’ll want something you can browse on together, and lube to wank him with. Try not to ruin him till the end but if it happens earlier just use it as a chance to see if he can go again! But you don’t have to follow it precisely. Do feel free to read it through, get inspired, and go for it!

    Oh darling, are you all ready for your surprise? You’ve been so good, I know how horny you’ve been, and your poor cock, all locked up in that cage. I think it’s time for a reward, don’t you?

    Let me see how you’re doing in there, strip down and show me. I can’t believe how much I love seeing you locked up in that thing. Isn’t that crazy? You know it actually turns me on now to think of you in it, and to see your poor little cock all safe and secure.

    Come lie here, let me hold it.

    Mmmm, I love how tight and full your balls get, do they ache baby? Look how full they are, all that cum stored up. Do you think we should empty them out, would that be a good reward? Can you imagine how good it will feel? You like that idea… oh dear, look how hard you’re trying to get. It really turns me on to see that.

    See, I’ve got your key on my necklace, do you like that? So near, and yet so far…

    Hmmm, maybe I’ll keep you in there just a little longer, my feet need a good rub. You do that while I do a little more research…

    Mmm, that feels lovely darling, keep going. Oh this is fascinating. I’m getting very inspired.

    What am I researching? I’m not sure I should tell you, it might spoil the surprise! Oh okay, I’m looking at different ways to make you cum! What different ways can you think of?

    Oh, those are good, I hadn’t thought of some of them! But yes, what I was researching was actually ruined orgasms. You know, where you cum, well, kind of cum, but I stop all the stimulation just before you do, so I still get to enjoy your cum flowing out, but it’s not like a full orgasm. Doesn’t that sound interesting?

    You don’t seem that keen, I wonder why that might be…

    The big advantage seems to be that you stay nice and horny afterwards. After all this time getting you so turned on it just seems a waste to lose it all and go back to square one, don’t you think?

    Well I do. So I’m hoping that a ruined orgasm might work. What do you think?

    Well, if you don’t want a ruined orgasm we can always just keep you caged up. It’s entirely your choice baby. Anyway, one of the blogs I was reading says ‘ruined’ isn’t really a great name for it, it’s just, different!

    Look at this baby, isn’t it hot?

    (show a video or gif you like)

    Isn’t that amazing, the way it just flows out, rather than spurts! Oh I wonder how that feels? I do love it when you jet out your big thick loads but this is sexy too, don’t you think? Especially if you make those oh so sexy little moans of yours.

    Mmm, just thinking about it gets me horny. You can stop on my feet now, that was lovely, thank you. Now, give my pussy some attention while I do more research.

    Mmm, that’s it darling, use your mouth on my clit. Oh I’ve found so many posts JUST about ruined orgasms! Who knew it was so popular?

    This one’s French, but it has lots of videos. Mmm, good boy, keep licking me while I watch some. I might even show you some of my favourites.

    (Play some of the videos so he can only hear them)

    Can you hear it? Aww baby, do you wish you could see all these big cocks getting taken over the edge? Oh I think you’re stretching in that cage quite enough, hearing is enough for you.

    Mmmm, that’s so hot. God, can you believe I’m watching videos like this while you go down on me, how hot is that!

    Wow, if a cock that big still gets ruined maybe you shouldn’t cum at all? I’m only kidding baby, I’ll still ruin you! In fact, let’s take that cage off and I’ll play with you as I do some more research.

    Oh and look, some don’t even take their cages off to do it! Maybe we don’t need to take yours off at all!

    (Browse the videos and gifs on Reddit while you play with his cock)

    Oh my goodness, look at all these different ways the men are getting their orgasms ruined! I had no idea there were so many options! Mostly they use their hands, but there’s some here where they use their mouths or even their pussy!

    Oh that’s so mean, just pulling out right at the end!

    Oh my god, look at this one, it’s running out of him like a tap! I wonder if I can make you do that?!

    If I’m going to ruin you, I want to do it properly. Hmmm, I wonder which works best. They seem to advise either completely taking my hands away or just holding the base.

    Slowly stroke you right to the edge, and keep you there as long as I can. And then, when I think you’ve reached the point of no return just stop stroking and hold you, and watch. I think I might giggle too, is that bad. It’s such a hot mix of being curious and being mean, knowing how good it would feel if I just stroked a little more, and just not doing it, because I can. Because it’s hotter to keep you horny and attentive, than to give you that pleasure you crave so much.

    The lovely thing is I can risk taking you over of course. Often when I’m edging you I’m worrying about not taking you too far so I back off a bit, but if I’m going to ruin you anyway I can really go to town trying to keep you on the edge.

    But you have to promise to tell me when you’re close, okay? If you spurt and you haven’t’ told me I’ll be cross! I want to see just how close I can get you, and try to keep you there for a bit.

    Actually the real trick is stopping and waiting, apparently it can take up to ten seconds for you to go over. The best kind of ruins are supposed to be where I’ve not stroked you right to the edge, but let you just slip over after pausing.

    I say ‘best’, what I mean is that they make your cum slowly pour out of you rather than spurt. That’s what I really want to see today, even if it takes a few tries.

    Oh, I found another picture, she’s obviously trying it too!

    Hah, I love that expression, what do you think she’s saying?

    I do like watching, and feeling you spurt but somehow it’s really hot to think of it flowing out of you. I guess it’s a bit like milking you. Milking that thick warm cum out of your aching swollen balls.

    Oh yes, that’s a big advantage I didn’t mention did I? Often when you’ve only been ruined, I can just keep going and do it again, and again. Oh maybe I can completely empty your balls! I wonder if that really happens, actually run dry! That would be so hot!

    So I’ve read some keyholders only ever let their partners have ruined orgasms! Do you think that’s real or just a fantasy?

    Apparently, you start to crave even that little bit of release. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine being so desperate you’ll beg to to be ruined, not even to have an orgasm?

    Gosh, maybe I’ll like it so much it’s all I’ll let you have in future.

    I do love making you cum, but the contrast afterwards is so stark, maybe if a ruined cum means you stay much more horny and attentive then that’s the way to go? I guess we’ll find out.

    I’ve decided, I want to ruin you, I want to see how well I can do it.

    No? You’d rather have a nice big full orgasm? Well sorry chastity boy, that’s not on offer today. Nope, I can stop now and lock you back up again, or I can ruin you, which would you like it to be?

    No, don’t just say it, ask for it, make me believe it. ‘Please ruin my orgasm’.

    Mmmm, l like that. What else can I make you say…’Make me swallow my cum’

    Oh that’s hotter when you say it! Just think of all those times you wanted me to swallow, and now it’s your turn. It’s just recycling I guess! Mmm, where on my body would you most like to lick your cum off?

    Oh really?! Kinky! I’ll remember that for another day!

    I think my favourite idea is me being right on the edge while you fuck me (because that makes me a bit of a bitch, doesn’t it baby, and that’s kind of hot.) And then, instead of cumming you pull out and just let your cock spurt out onto my bottom without touching it at all. It’ll be so frustrating but so hot. You’ll want to slam it back in me to make it feel good but you’ll be so self-controlled and just watch your orgasm wasted all over my skin.

    Mmm, look at this one, I love it! I bet that would feel so sexy. For me darling, obviously.

    But today, yes today I think it’s all about practicing.

    I want to see if we can just make it ooze out like in those pictures. So what we’re going to do is get you right to the edge, and then I’m going to slide my hand down just as you I think you’re ready to go over. And I’m going to hold it for ten whole seconds, yep, that’s what they recommend. And if you don’t go over, I’ll do it again, and again, and again until we tip you over that edge. Feel free to beg to cum, I’m going to ignore you, but it’s kind of hot hearing you say it.

    Now, what shall we watch while we get you there, how about a nice ruined orgasm compilation? Or that wall of ruined orgasms (Pick what you fancy or just search reddit or pornhub for ‘ruined orgasms’ and see what you get).

    (If you search Pornhub etc for Ruined Orgasm Compilation you will probably get some good ones!)

    Now, I want you to tell me when you’re close, tell me what to do to keep you right on the edge, what feels best. Let’s use more lube, very good.

    How full do your balls feel baby, is it going to be good to empty them at last? Is it hot or frustrating I’m just going to ruin it? I have to be honest, the thought is really turning me on.

    Hand me my vibe baby, I want to cum while I edge you. Mmmm, that feels so good. And I love knowing I’m going to have a nice big orgasm while you only get ruined. Isn’t that so mean? It’s so hot to be mean nowadays, what have you done to me?

    Oh god I’m close, I want to be such a bitch when I’m like this, squeezing your cock in my hand as I masturbate. Mmmmm, I just want to whisper naughty things in your ear as I cum…

    (Pick what you fancy from below or just make your own up!)

    I fucking love this.I love keeping your cock in a cageI love how horny it makes youI want to keep you like that all the timeYour little cock is my plaything nowMaybe I shouldn’t even ruin you, maybe I should keep you full and desperateDon’t you cum yet, I cum first, or I’ll make you drink it, is that clear?Oh I’m really close, get your head down there and finish me, I want to cum on your face.

    After you (not he) orgasms

    Mmmm, that’s better. Now, where were we, oh yes, ruining you! I can focus at last, heh heh.

    Then again, I could just get you to make me cum again and we can lock you back up. You don’t seem that desperate to be ruined, are you?

    Really, are you sure, say it again, tell me you want me to ruin your orgasm.

    Mmm, I do love how that sounds, come on then…

    Now, some more lube and let’s get you right to the edge. Does that feel good baby? I love it when you’re this horny.

    Are you ready honey, ready to be ruined?

    Finally take him over if you haven’t already!

    Oh no, that spurted far too much. Hmm, I wonder how much is still in there. I read on one blog I can ruin you a few times in a row. Let’s see if we can do better this time.

    And continue as you wish, locking him back afterwards. Maybe say if you can ruin him four times he can stay out overnight

    Locktober 2021 - Day 3

    The pleasure is all yours

    Today is about you, his cock is going to stay locked up and not get out, at all. If you’re new to caging then this is just a case of putting it on before you start and, maybe taking it off after you’re done, or… maybe it’s time for him to try it overnight?

    As I pre-warned you yesterday (and still useful for those using this later)- if you can he’s to give you an orgasm to start the day. It can be with his hands, a vibe, or ideally his mouth.

    Worried you won’t be perfectly fresh? Screw that – how often did he get you to suck him without showering first? Exactly. Just think about that and stop feeling guilty and enjoy it and stop feeling guilty! lol Let him make you cum while you read the news or a book or flick through Tumblr etc.

    Next go and shower and leave him caged, horny, and smelling you with every breath. When you get back you might want to uncage him to shower, depending on the design, or just keep him in it. With our plastic one it’s quite good if it comes off and gets cleaned every few days.

    If you want to you can play with him at this point. I love sucking his freshly showered cock. But not letting him out at all is hot too, and if you have any doubt he might play in the shower, keep him locked up.

    Either way, at this point you explain the way the day is going to work. You might let him out this evening (do not promise more than letting out), but only if he’s pleased you all day, sexually and emotionally. He’s not allowed to ask for anything today, he’s only allowed to ask, ‘What can I do to please you?.

    Then add a couple of specifics – if he’s home during the day say that you want an orgasm at lunchtime, and either way, as soon as you’re together at home after work the first thing you want is his mouth between your legs.

    Ideally you’d hope for some extras, cute messages, flowers, dinner bought or prepared, etc

    Let me be clear here, however well he does, I suggest you don’t let him out. Because it’s hot!

    Come bedtime it’s time for an extended session of him eating you out. You can put on a tv show or read a book but I’d suggest, to start at least, you watch some porn while he does it. On your laptop or tablet or phone, whatever. Porn that specifically, he can hear, but cannot see. It will drive him wild. Just, yeah, wild, trust me on this.

    I suggest you try a specific position for this, and that’s with you on your back shuffled down the bed so he can kneel on the floor (give him a cushion so he can go longer) and you can either put your feet on the edge or lean them over the bed or over his shoulders, mix it up and see what works best. You lying and him lying down too is okay but you on the edge of the bed gives him MUCH better access, he can breathe better and so go longer.

    If you’re confident enough you can always really go for it and have him lie down and sit on his face, but we’ll be trying that later on in Locktober with specific tips to make it easier.

    You can of course be on a sofa or chair too. Just both be comfortable enough to go a long time. How long? I’d aim for at least half an hour – he may need little breaks. But, see below for how long it could be as a challenge…

    Full Lockdown Version

    No changes needed here, you stay locked, good boy!

    Porn suggestions

    If you aren’t much of a porn watcher you can try one of the big sites like or – but here are some quick suggestions

    Pornhub has a For Women category you could try out

    You can change between homemade and professional too, I often prefer the former.

    Or maybe be adventurous and try some of the other categories on the left of pornhub’s page that take your fancy (good idea to change the search to most viewed or highest rated etc).

    Then again, if porn isn’t your thing try some erotica. I mean, pretty great to read it while being licked!!! James has a super hot harem story on his SubscribeStar right now where a couple get in over their heads and all kinds of orgasm denial and chastity fun ensues!

    Edging Space Publishing SubscribeStar (it's like Patreon that allows more adult content)

    Also, did you see I wrote a book with James?! It's called the Dead Bedroom Remedy and it's all about a couple who need to reignite their lovelife and the wife's best friend introduced her to the secret that she and her husband use to keep their passions aflame (can you guess what it might be?)

    The Dead Bedroom Remedy - Get it on Amazon

    Talk to him

    If he’s not very good at oral then do give him guidance. Even if he is, make sure to throw in some instructions such as(just use whatever you fancy):

  • Slow licks now, keep me on the edge
  • Harder now, suck on my clit
  • Tongue fuck my pussy
  • Put your finger in me too
  • Use a dildo in me as you lick my clit
  • Play with my bottom at the same time
  • Lick my bottom now
  • Stick your finger in my arse (if he was wild before that’ll top it…)
  • And of course, ‘make me come now’
  • Not that coming once is the end, no no, see how many you can get tonight!

    If you’re feeling vocal, or if you’re not but know you need to work on it, you can try some teasing things too, stuff like:

  • I am starting to see the benefits of this chastity thing now
  • You’re so much better with your mouth than you are with your cock
  • I love this, I’m not sure why I need to unlock your cock at all to be honest
  • It really turns me on to know your little cock is all squashed up and can’t even get hard
  • Is your cock actually dripping yet honey? Tell me if it does, I like that
  • And encourage him of course, tell him how good it feels, what feels best, that you love him, that you love him doing this to you, etc

    For really good tips on technique get him studying this guide from another denial blog:

    Your challenge is to let him keep going until he says he has to stop. Yes, you are to let him give you oral sex until he’s unable to do more. Even sexier… say you don’t care – make him make you come one more time before he can stop. Trust me, that’ll turn him on so much.

    If he goes to stop without asking, try a ‘I’m not done yet, stay there until you can’t do any more – make me come again now’ kind of thing.

    So once you’re completely satisfied – and feel free to get him to rub or vibe you more if you’re not and he can’t lick any more, you tell him how well he’s done, but then, I would recommend you don’t let him out. You just let him cuddle you, frustrated and horny – it’s what he really wants, honestly.

    But you may want to reward him, so your options are:

    1. Thank him but say you’re worn out and tell him to cuddle up against you caged while you fall asleep

    2. Say he’s pleased you and restrain him and remove the cage and play and edge him if you want, before caging him and then untying him. Don’t do it for too long (and obviously not if you’re doing Full Lockdown).

    3. Say he’s pleased you, would he like to be uncaged? When he says yes, restrain him, and then take it off and either do nothing (you only promised to uncage him) or just play a bit and then leave him.  So yes, the idea is you leave him tied up all night! If he has to come out, the cage goes back on. You might enjoy just teasing him every so often, or even climbing on and fucking him a little. But you’ll probably be all orgasmed out and just sleep. And that’s perfect.

    Which you choose is up to how you’re feeling and if he’s managed to focus and ask what will please you all day. I’m not going to let him out at all, simplist and makes the point!

    Ask him how he found it, I bet he loved it, even if you left him untouched. Remember that the next time you feel guilty.

    That’s it for today – tomorrow something completely new – we’re going to explore the ruined orgasm, in a lot of detail!

    Thanks for all the lovely feedback, reblogs and messages, it's lovely knowing that there's still some life in Tumblr after all!

    Jane xxx

    Locktober Day 2 – A little interrogation

    I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want…

    A major challenge for most relationships is communication, so today we’re going to use a delightful side effect of edging to help us with that. The side effect is that the hornier and closer you get your man to coming, the easier it is for him to tell you stuff he normally wouldn’t.

    Day 2 is about working on the most important sexual organ – the brain! Get him to ‘warm you up’, then restrain him if you have restraints, remove the cage and edge him. If you don’t have restraints, or fancy a change, you can always just make him lie on his hands (and threaten to recage him if they come out at all).

    Now he’s hopefully a bit hornier we’re going to use that to have a fun little interrogation. However, I have to precede that with a warning, you HAVE TO BE COOL with the answers he gives. You are eliciting them under a kind of pleasure torture – his defences are down. Even if he says something you don’t like or is a huge turn off, just LET IT GO. You are tapping into his fantasies, and a lot of them are just that, a fantasy, the whole point of which is it’s not something that can or should happen in real life.

    If you react negatively to anything it can REALLY set you back. So instead, you can just be neutral, ‘that’s interesting’, ‘I see, I didn’t know that!’ kind of thing. And if he asks you what you think you can just say ‘that’s good to know’ or ‘I’ll keep that in mind’. Just, stay neutral, nothing negative, okay?

    What’s been interesting for me in the past when I’ve done this with hubby is just giving him the chance to voice a few fantasies he’d never told me actually acted like taking the lid off a pressure cooker and stopped him thinking about them so much.

    So my point is, you do not have to DO all the things that come up from questioning like this, you are in charge and it happens the way you want it to. But it’s very good to know where he’s coming from and maybe become more open to some of them. For example with me I had no desire to peg him at all (use a strap-on on him) but he’d told me he liked the idea, I knew he’d played there himself in the past, and then, when we did try it and I made him come from it it was amazing. Suddenly I thought, ‘oh my god, I’ve found another way to give my hubby pleasure and to make him come, that’s awesome!’

    As I said, the key to this is the closer he is to the edge and the longer you’ve been doing it, the more honest he will be. Don’t tell him the plan until you’ve got him right on the edge, then say something like, ‘Right, now to find out what you really want and think!’.

    Then you keep teasing and playing as you talk. Here are some suggested questions:

  • How is being caged making you feel about me?
  • Are you more concerned I’ll be too mean, or not mean enough?
  • If you had to choose, would you rather be caged for a week, or a month?
  • How long do you imagine being kept in the cage without being allowed out at all?
  • When we get to your ‘cum day’ does the thought of me changing my mind and keeping you locked longer excite you?
  • What sexual things do you want to do to me, or have me do, that we don’t do now?
  • What would you like us to do more of with you caged or teased?
  • Is there anything I might do to you that excites, but also scares you?
  • And then to finish, this is quite fun. Say something like:

    ‘Well done answering everything so truthfully, what would you like as your reward, a ruined orgasm, a full orgasm, another edge or whatever I want?’

    (If he says anything but the last one you say , ‘Wrong answer darling, we’ll stop there, and get you back in your cage’. For the last answer, do what want, play more or stop, but no coming of any kind.)

    Heads up for tomorrow, he’s staying caged and it’s all going to be focused on him pleasuring you. In fact, advance warning for early risers, demand an orgasm from him before you get up to start the day!


    Did you get any surprise answers? What was the sexiest thing he said? How is his horniness already? I’d love to know! Reblog with a note or send me a message!

    PS If sexy dialogue is your thing, or you want some inspiration, then you will probably love the scenes between Emma and Nathan in James's Chastity Contract series. They will make some fun inspirational reading for Locktober at the very least.

    Locktober 2021 - Day 1

    A little tease and denial does you good

    So, you should have read my Locktober introduction already.

    If you haven’t, then check that out for an overview, some tips and the basic rules.

    You should have talked those through with your partner, and agreed them and what take you want to try on the different levels of intensity. If you haven’t done that, then do it now!

    I also had a list of ideas for teasing him prior to the point of locking on the cage. If you haven't done that yet, read it through and have some fun with those.

    Then, get the cock cage on if it isn’t already! For those of you new to this, just have some fun trying it on, maybe just before you do the rest of this. For the rest of you, get that cage on, now!

    The kink behind the kink - Tease and Denial

    Tease and denial is at the heart of how we do sexy male chastity play. For some, caging is about long lock ups, and that’s fine if it rings your bell, but for us as a couple the focus is about increased intimacy and having more fun sex, so letting his cock out of the cage and playing with it to get him even hornier is a common part of the process – most of the time…

    A simple start today. Tonight is going to be a classic tease and denial session, the mainstay of caged fun – when he’s restrained and then let out for teasing and edging before being put back in his cage without release of any kind.

    If you’re just starting with the whole chastity thing then this is a great way to start things off, tie him up, tease him, and then when you’ve done it for long enough (I’d say 15-30 mins will be enough to drive him crazy) just wait until he’s soft and cage him up again before you let him out.

    Try wearing the key on a necklace while you play, and if you fancy it, have him warm you up before you tie him up, with his hands, and his mouth.

    Getting in the mood - ‘Warm me up’

    As you’ll have seen, one of the rules of Locktober is the woman is to try and cum EVERY DAY. Of course you can cum more… The reason for this is it will help you enjoy it too, and make sure it is not all about him, which it can be if you’re not careful.

    But across the board there seems to be a relationship between caging his cock and him WANTING to go down on you. MAKE THE MOST OF IT.

    Now this can be awkward if it’s not something you’re used to so of course he can use his hands or a vibe too. But try to let him go down and kiss and lick you a little down there at least, it feels amazing (more tips in later posts).

    Sometimes it’s hard to ask or tell him to do it (although it’s SUPER sexy for them if you can be direct and say ‘eat me out’ or ‘lick my clit’ or similar).

    So, something I do is use code – I say to him ‘Warm me up’ and he knows that means kiss me, play with me and then go down on me.

    What it does not mean is make you cum! Not yet!Because it’s best in my experience to be left horny then play and tease him THEN have him make you cum. It’ll make trying new things much easier and keep you much hornier.

    So, explain or have him read this post, and then whisper in his ear, ‘warm me up’ and enjoy! Give him advice if you can, encourage him, tell him what feels good, but don’t worry, he’s going to get a LOT better at that!.

    Once that’s done, and if you have some way to do it, restrain him. Why? Because it’s fun! It’s giving you a little taste of power, him of helplessness, and it’s just hot to try a bit of simple bondage. If you don’t have restraints, you can use silk scarves of stockings, or just make him lie on his hands. But if you can, do it properly, it’s hot!

    A word about, safewords

    ‘Safewords are for really kinky stuff, aren’t they?’ Well yes, they are, they are mostly for situations where you want to clearly and simply communicate you are struggling in an kink interaction. So why would we use them for this chastity play?

    They are very liberating! Because they give implied consent once you’ve agreed to use them. What this means is if hubby’s really horny, and likes the idea of coming, or he’s caged and wants to ask to come out, he can say it but HE DOESN’T REALLY MEAN IT!

    That’s right, he can beg, ‘please I’m so horny, let me cum, let me out of this cage’ etc but unless he uses a safeword he actually wants you to say ‘no’ because really he can handle more and what he really wants is you, saying ‘No!’

    That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to cum or be let out, it just means he ALSO is okay if you don’t. And that gives you a HUGE amount of confidence to say ‘No, I want to keep you horny’ or ‘It turns me on to keep you caged, so no’ etc etc.

    So, to repeat, we use safewords so you can actually be sure he thinks it hot if you say no. It doesn’t mean you HAVE to say no, but it’s probably hottest if you do most of the time.

    What to use? We just use ‘Yellow’ if he’s near what he can stand and you need to believe he means it, and ‘Red’ for okay, ‘STOP now, I’m in pain or this isn’t fun, let’s take a pause, fix that, and then talk about what to do next’. Again, neither are bad things, just they make sure you know he’s serious.

    DISCUSS - So, right now, talk about safewords together, agree what yours are for the WHOLE of the month, and then you can be really confident playing with lock up and chastity and denial.

    So to summarise, agree safewords so you can be confident saying NO, because when he doesn’t use them, he doesn’t really want you to let him cum or free his cock. But when he does say them, always take them seriously!

    The tease, and denial

    So with him probably restrained you can now let him out of that cock cage, and play with his cock. Lubed hands, your mouth, your pussy. Whatever you fancy, take your time and talk about all you’re doing. We’ll have a proper ‘interrogation’ game tomorrow, but maybe ask him what he’s most excited about and you tell him what you think too.

    He does not come today! For beginners you may not want to lock him up after, but either way, keep him horny, teased, denied. Maybe you’ll let him cometomorrow… And for those who want to, you lock him up. Yes, this is really important, YOU put the cage on his cock and lock it BEFORE you untie him, they LOVE that.

    TIP - We tend to leave the cock cage ring on throughout most play as it works as a cock ring keeping him hard, and putting on the ring is the trickiest bit of caging him up. If you can, practice with the cage off his cock so you get confident on doing it up. It can get a bit pinchy if you don't do it right, which isn't very sexy. At the very least, get him to put it on and then YOU do up the lock. That is a great compromise.

    Then you untie him, and tell him to make you cum, and lie back and wonder why you didn’t try this wonderful kink before as he licks and rubs you to as many orgasms as you fancy. Browse the rest of the blog if you fancy it too…

    Full Lockdown version - he's teased through the cage as you read all this and make him imagine how good it will feel for all those lucky guys who get unlocked.

    And that’s Day 1, nice and easy… it won’t stay that way for long!

    As always, I’d love your feedback or messages, have fun, and remember, the hornier he is, the more he wants and loves you! 😉 Also please share and reblog as it'd be great so have this info go out wide again like it used to!

    Jane xxx

    Locktober #0 - Locking him up!

    If you are starting your lock up then you don't want to miss out on the potential fun to be had on the day before.

    There are a few major opportunities as we head into Locktober including:

  • Teasing about how horny he’ll get being locked up for longer than usual
  • Teasing about how strict you’re going to be
  • Suggesting that if you really get into it, Locktober could just be the start (hello NOvember!)
  • Deciding on what he gets before it begins
  • It’s this last one we’ll focus on first, because that’s really the big decision to make as you get ready for it all to begin. Does he get to orgasm before Locktober begins?

    The obvious answer is that yes, he should. That you start with a clean slate and his frustration builds up over time. But he really shouldn’t take that for granted, because we won’t be!

    Message suggestions to tease him with:

  • Hi honey, so I’ve been thinking about how we start Locktober. Do you think you should get to cum first?
  • I mean you’re horny now just thinking about it. It seems a waste to reset all that?
  • Maybe you can convince me later to not just lock you up without a release first.
  • It’s got me so horny thinking about you being locked up for a whole month. Come to bed early tonight.
  • Okay, so the mind games have begun. But this isn’t the biggest one. My favourite thing to do is to make THEM choose what they get. Why? Because men seem to love screwing themselves over and they often choose worse than we naturally would. If that happens then you have the fun of rubbing it in their faces when they complain how horny they are. Maybe it’s just me but I love that dynamic.

    Also, we’re going to get a bit bolder in taking control as the month goes on but right now actually giving them some agency about it is a nice starting point.

    Play session ideas

    If you’re experienced with caging up his cock then you can take complete control here. Restrain him, even if it’s as simple as making him lie with his hands under his bottom or back.

    Otherwise you can just cuddle up and do this together.

    Maybe straddle his thighs if that’s comfy and just slowly play with his cock as you talk about the coming month. Questions you can ask include:

  • What are you most looking forward to?
  • What do you hope we’ll discover?
  • How mean should I be? (This last one is usually quite illuminating)
  • What type of orgasm?

    Now comes the crucial discussion:

    What should we do with you before we begin?

    Talk through the options - nothing, have an orgasm (‘empty these balls’) or my personal preference, give him a ruined orgasm. We will revisit these in the first week and maybe more during Locktober. But in short it’s when you stop all stimulation as soon as he begins to ejaculate. This is incredibly frustrating as most of the pleasure is lost. That’s amusing, genuinely, it can be very funny. But the real benefit I’m that makes it my preference at this point, is for many men it doesn’t reduce their libido nearly as much as a full orgasm.

    It might do for ten to twenty minutes, but especially for younger guys, they will find themselves surprisingly horny after that. By which time they are caged up and can’t do anything about it.

    Now remember, my suggestion is you let them make the choice of which they get, but you can certainly steer them:

  • ‘Isn’t the point to enjoy being horny?
  • ‘It’d be so hot if you just ruined it instead of an orgasm’
  • ‘If you’re taking my vote into account, I vote team ruin!’
  • You can of course take just the same approach if you’d prefer them not to climax, or to orgasm.

    How he should orgasm

    So the other decision to make is how he’ll come. I’m sure you can think of more but the three obvious ones are you make him, (handjob or a blowjob), he does it himself, or you have sex.

    I personally love watching hubby jerk himself off, it’s so hot. If you’ve never done that then you asking to see it will probably blow his mind. Also they know just how close to orgasm they are so they can normally stay on the edge much better, which lets you have fun saying ‘I want to watch you wank, but you can’t come until I say.’ Yummy.

    You can of course take control and give them a nice slow handjob etc.

    However, my favourite in this is to have sex. Classic, missionary position sex. ‘But you preferred a ruin’ I hear you cry. And you’re quite right. I want the intimacy of making love, as I’m not going to get that again in the coming month, but I also want a mean twist on it, that at the very last moment he pulls out, and he ruins his orgasm on my pussy.

    I know, I can’t help it, this kink has got me liking crazy stuff. The reason this is so hot is that it’s entirely him giving up his pleasure when it would feel amazing. Secondly, in missionary position his mouth is right next to mine and the moans of frustration he makes are just SO HOT, and right in my ear at this point.

    I spoke in the earlier chapter about how to be lovingly mean. The key one here is for you not to have come yet. Unless he’s particularly gifted or you orgasm easily from intercourse, he probably won’t last that long because of all the excitement of being locked up. So if you really want to start Locktober off with a bang, you get him to go down on you now. Yes, where he just ruined his orgasm.

    If this does nothing for you, that’s totally okay. I wasn’t into it at all to start either, and then one thought transformed my thinking on it.

    ‘He expects, or at least hopes that I will swallow his cum when I give him a blow job. Isn’t it reasonable he does the same, after all, he made it!’

    I love that. Any time I feel at all strange about him eating his semen, that thought reminds me it’s no less than he expects of me.

    Anyway, if if he just ruins the orgasm, and cleans you up, and then makes you orgasm. That’s wonderful. Whatever options you choose for the above, you should orgasm, cuddle up, and then it’s time to lock it on!

    I hope that's some fun inspiration to kick things off. We'll get onto Day One of Locktober tomorrow!

    Jane xxx

    Locktober 2021 – An introduction

    Welcome to Locktober!

    If this is your first time reading my Locktober posts, it's lovely to have you here. If you've been reading them since I first posted them in 2016, then I hope there will be enough new to keep your attention, and heck, if caging a cock up isn't enough to keep your attention, you're probably doing it wrong!

    These will be daily posts with ideas and tasks to try out, watch out for the #Locktober2021 tags. I think in reality most of the posts are there to provide inspiration and new ideas, they don't have to be followed religiously.

    Since those first Locktober posts I've spent time adding in some advanced options for those who want to try keeping their partner locked up for much, or ALL of Locktober. I still plan to put those things on the blog but the most frequent request I get is from men asking how to get their, usually ‘vanilla’ wives, into the idea of exploring chastity and tease/denial games with them at all.

    Since my original and surprisingly popular keephimcaged Tumblr got deleted (we added hyphens this time...) James, my husband, and much more recently, I, have been putting some of our love of kink and especially denial and chastity into books!

    And I still think that a book would be a great final version of the stuff I'm writing here - because Tumblr's a pretty hostile environment for those not used to all this kind of stuff. And is it just me or is there lots of nudity back?

    So I’m going to be offering some ideas for very low key introductions to this, and most importantly, and that will end up as some kind of book version that you could get hold of, and work through with your partner, without having to get them to wade through all the other stuff Tumblr will throw at them.

    Now James is actually quite experienced (well a year...) at publishing books this might actually happen for real. He's already designing a cover!

    Firstly, a message to all of you for whom this is new – and well, probably a bit weird, hopefully a bit exciting too!

    Let me from the bottom of my heart encourage you to give this whole tease and denial, and male chastity thing a go. I’m writing this blog because when we tried it for ourselves a few years back I would not have BELIEVED how good it would have been for our relationship.

    A little about us

    We’re a married couple in our 40’s (it was 30's when I first posted this!) we have two kids, and like most couples I think, especially after having kids, found our sex life had lost a lot of it’s ‘umpfh!’ and hubby particularly was frustrated with how it was. Me, I was mostly just tired! But we got to the stage where the kids were a little less work, and we were getting things going again when as part of some sex toy shopping hubby pointed out a cock cage and said ‘that might be interesting!’

    Now, and this is important, this was a bit of a switch on how things were for us early in our relationship. I’m pretty submissive and he’s mostly dominant – although, well I run a blog about cock cages, obviously ‘switchy’ is a definition that works for us too!

    But I say that because a big part of this blog is the fact we’re focused on the benefits and fun you can have with cock caging and denial and teasing, but it’s never really about him being hugely submissive. We use the cage and tying up to explore some of those things but this is all quite based on reality, of how putting your loved one’s cock in a cage can bring out the most amazing intimacy and boost your sex life in ways I didn’t think possible.

    So – Why Cock Caging?

    When we got that first cage, (a knock off CB-6000 for those curious) I thought it would just be a like a toy we tried a few times and then got stuck in the drawer for occasional use, if ever.

    Boy, was I wrong.

    Pretty much from the start we both realised that the tease and denial play, plus the caging, was having a MUCH hotter effect on our relationship than we expected. Now we’re not new to orgasm denial. We’ve always been somewhat kinky and enjoyed exploring things, although I came to the relationship a naive virgin, so hubby taught me basically everything I know. One of the ways he did that was tease and orgasm denial, on ME! Yep, I was the one not allowed to come, kept horny and eager, and damn I loved it, and still do! And I guess it gives me a good insight into why he might like it. And sure we did teasing and a little denial on him over the years too, but somehow, the cock cage takes it all to a completely different level.

    That’s part of why I’m excited about Locktober, as it’s really quite hard to describe just what an impact this can have on you. You just have to try it for yourself. And you know what, it may not work for you, and that’s okay. Come to it with an attitude of fun and being prepared to try anything a few times and you won’t go far wrong.

    I thought I’d break this down into advantages for the different people involved, obviously I write as a married woman and use the terminology to match but I’m sure this would work well in other types of relationship, just figure out where you are in the mix and apply!

    Let me quickly say what this isn’t – Locktober and this blog are not about creating what is called a ‘Female Led Relationship’ – sure, male chastity and cock caging can be part of that, but it’s just not what we’re interested in. Neither are we looking to make hubby submissive or humiliate him (although there is some hot teasing about some things that works for us). What this is about is exploring how the super hot experience of male orgasm denial, male chastity and keeping his cock in a cage can be a LOT of sexy fun and give you an even better relationship.

    For the women

    So, maybe you’re really into this already, and if so that’s great! But that’s definitely the minority of us! For most women it’s a mixture of curiosity and quite possibly some serious doubts as to whether you want to try this at all.

    Let me just underline the biggest benefit we’ve seen from exploring male chastity and cock caging – it’s greater INTIMACY. Massively increased intimacy between us. To talk about sex, to be open about what we want, to spend a greatly increased time actually having sex (of sorts!), but more than that, the other stuff we love, kissing, cuddling, him touching us, being romantic, attentive, helpful.

    I wrote a post sometime that if you could get this effect in a pill it’d sell in the millions!

    We’ll go into what I think is behind all that further in the month but for now just try to trust me, that’s the biggest overall impact, we are much closer in so many great ways through this.

    Second on the benefits, orgasms, lots of them, for us. And not just okay orgasms, I’m talking about mind blowing oral sex on a scale I didn’t think possible. And he WANTS to do this, like, asking me, desperate to go down on me at times. It’s awesome! Hubby was always okay at it, but this is in another league, and what’s even better is it’s orgasms without guilt, without any sense of having to reciprocate because it’s often hotter if I don’t!!!

    A shared secret – this is part of the intimacy but I wanted to list it separately as it’s such fun knowing he’s locked up. It makes me think about sex lots more which is great and we supplement that by having a shared private tumblr that we both post things too that is just for us. I’ll talk more about that soon.

    A sex life that’ll be the envy of all your friends – if you choose to share of course, and no, my friends don’t know the cause (although my best friend knows something’s up…) but we have sex, of some kind, five or six times in a normal week. Hubby is in bed, excited to be there, most nights! And if I’m not in the mood… his cock is literally unable to do anything about it! In fact, it’s turned NOT having sex into something sexy, how great is that!

    For men

    So most of you guys will have been the instigators of this, it may be you’re just curious about male chastity or you are crazy into it, either way, Locktober is a great opportunity to actually initiate or take things further with your partner.

    An invigorated sex life – okay so I ended with this for the women, I’m starting with it for you lot (see how that works!). While it seems counter-intuitive that locking up your cock would lead to more sex, I’m talking about more than just fucking. It’s going to force you to be more creative and look to giving her pleasure in new ways, and she will LOVE that. She’ll likely be hornier and more up for things than you’ve ever known her – once she gets used to the idea at least. And it’s also very empowering for us women to know we can say no to sex and that’s actually part of the game.

    Exploring a changed dynamic – so as I said, we predominantly fit into him being the dominant sexual partner and me being the submissive one, and I still love that. But obviously caging his cock changes that to a degree. Not hugely though, for us, and this is not how everyone would do it, he still has the ultimate say in what’s happening, if he asked to be let out of the cage I probably would (although, not so definitely as years ago). But he doesn’t ask because we both love it! And that’s why you should be doing this, because it’s working for both of you.

    Now a lot of guys into this tend to be more on the submissive side, and that’s probably even easier as having your cock locked up and being made to focus on your partner’s needs will come naturally to you. Just be aware that if you are submissive, it’s very easy to get carried away and want to go further, faster, than your partner is comfortable with. So try to just encourage all she does, and look to pleasing her as your focus and you’ll find with the increased intimacy and communication you should naturally find a level of denial and chastity that works for you both.

    This is NOT the green flag for every one of your fantasies to immediately come true, sorry! Focus on the stuff that brings you closer – which all the Locktober tasks should, and help your partner see how great it can be for them to indulge this side of you.

    For singles

    Obviously this blog and Locktober are going to be written from a couple's perspective, but I know we have single followers too so I will try to make things accessible and useful for you guys too. Some things will work, some won’t, but that’s just the nature of this blog.

    About Locktober 2021

    Advice for beginners to male chastity and cock cages

    So if you are using this Locktober series to start your exploration then firstly, well done for trying something new, that’s brilliant. Please don’t feel any pressure to follow what I suggest to the letter, just use it to inspire ideas and dip into things as you feel comfortable.

  • If you’re completely new to wearing a cage then I suggest the following sequence for using it:
  • Just try it on, outside of sex, just to see how it feels and wear it for a bit to figure out how you like it
  • Try it next with your partner during some teasing – TIP you won’t get it on once you start playing so put it on FIRST and then play around and then take it off towards the end or if you’re struggling and get your reward!
  • Next, try it for a day, during the day. On in the morning, teased during the day and then a session at night before it comes off.
  • Then try it for a day and a night – the nights are often the hardest, your cock will wake you up trying to get hard. Keep the ring of the cage lubed to minimise the discomfort and be prepared to take it off it if gets too bad. But you will adjust to wearing it and that will get easier.
  • And once you’ve managed a day and a night… see what works for you both. Feel free to have times with it off, maybe you only want to try it a few times a week and you can work through the locktober ideas over a longer period of time.
  • Then again, you may find you love it, we did! And want to escalate, and try it over Locktober as a real full on exploration. Talk to each other, figure out what works for you. If you're not having fun you're doing it wrong.

    For those with some experience

    So if you’re used to wearing a cage, hopefully Locktober will give you some new ideas and a structure to work with to enjoy male chastity even more with your partner, and add some freshness to the whole experience. We’ll be reusing some of the ideas from previous years,

    The objective of Locktober is NOT necessarily complete orgasm denial. The focus as the name suggests is keeping you locked up for most of it. If you follow the ideas it will involve frequent release for tease and denial, and some of those will include ruined or full orgasm.

    However, if the two of you want to make it so you don’t come at all for the whole month, agree that now and just adapt my ideas to work for you!

    Note however, if you agree now that’s what you want, ONLY the woman is allowed to reverse that, and it should be with the guys agreement too (we get weak sometimes). You opt out of coming this month and you don’t get to ask to change it 😛

    The FULL lockdown

    For those of us who want to really challenge ourselves then Locktober The Full Lockdown is the content where the tasks and ideas have been tweaked to not let him out of his cage at all (or perhaps you just let him out at weekends, that’ll be an option too).

    Okay, given all that, here are the rules for Keephimcaged’s Locktober:

    Locktober Rules

  • This is about having fun – if you’re not enjoying it, talk about it and fix it, so you are!
  • If in doubt, lock it up – if the choice comes for you to let him stay out or to lock him up, by default you are to cage his cock unless you have a good reason not to
  • Be flexible – my ideas are just suggestions, feel free to adapt to what works for you and maybe to reschedule if the timing just isn’t working out
  • She comes, every day – that’s the objective, while he is caged and denied, the other side of the coin is the woman is to cum or be made to come every day – we want to build that as a good habit!
  • No masturbating without permission – the man is not allowed to masturbate himself in or out of the cage
  • No coming unless you say so – unless you say he can come, he is not allowed, even if you are the cause of it! It’s HIS fault (lol).
  • All unauthorised orgasms must be ruined (be strict on this!) and if you want even stricter you can agree in advance he has to eat it too. (Yep, kinda gross but the concept turns a lot of guys on – before they actually come, and it’s a genuine disincentive for them to go over – but if you agree it you have to make them do it or it’s pointless).
  • Necessary Equipment

    You will need a cock cage! You can read our recommendations here (they're a bit outdated though).

    A good lube for wanking him with - we used Lovehoney's Basic Silicone Lube for the cage, and a pot of coconut oil by the bed for actually playing.

    Some kind of restraints to use in bed (you can just try it with silk scarves but the velcro strap ones are great and so easy to use.

    Optional extras

    A strap on dildo if you want to explore having sex with him still caged (HE wears it, over his cage, we'll get to that, but it's lots of fun).

    Butt plugs can be fun too, but very optional

    Cock rings are very useful for keeping him hard and sensitive

    As you can see we recommend toys from our own favourite online toy store, Lovehoney. We do get a small commission from them, if you object to that, please feel free to not use our links – we’d recommend them anyway. The big factor is they offer 60-day 'happiness guarantee' so you’re trying all this stuff risk free. Don’t like it, or discover this isn’t for you? Send it back, used, yes used! for a full refund. So cool!

    Health and safety

    The ideas here are things that work for us but please be sensible and adapt to your situation and medical requirements. Especially if you’re new to caging just take a cautious approach and don’t overdo it. If you’re feeling any pain or discomfort that isn’t from the obvious cause of trying to get hard in a cage or achy balls from not coming then do something about it. This is meant to be fun, not cause problems.

    Besides that, I recommend you both go for a serious pubic haircut. If you want the best from his oral skills then you should get rid of most hair around your pussy (you can leave your normal pubes, they don’t get in the way). His should be cut very short, especially with a plastic cage to avoid trapped hairs causing pain. You can try getting him to shave too if you fancy it. Shaved balls are much more fun to play with in my opinion.

    Plastic cages need removal and cleaning pretty much every day to stay fresh in our experience. Metal cages just need a shower and hose down, with maybe a weekly removal and spray and scrub with a sex toy cleaner for any nooks and crannies.

    So, that’s about it now, I shall post the first Locktober task in a bit, a simple tease and denial as it was last year, to get things going.

    I’d love any feedback, including hearing how things are going or questions, and I’ll do my best to get back to them as fast as possible.

    Enjoy Locktober and, of course, and keep him caged!