@lord0mega
The Black Knight
Posts
6859
Last update
2021-07-07 20:34:55
    fedkaczynski

    What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

    allamericankindofguy-actual

    I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

    fedkaczynski

    Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

    ethereal-insight

    Did he survive?

    loafed-beans

    Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

    odric-master-swagtician

    His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

    misteryada

    Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

    superkat500

    Those are the eyes of a man who saw satan and asked for his number

    haiku-robot

    those are the eyes of

    a man who saw satan and

    asked for his number

    ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.

    Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon

    haiku-robot

    Those are the eyes of
    a man who saw satan and
    asked for his number



    Haiku Bot v2021.1~beta
    I make mistakes. I am buggy too. Sorry! | HAIKU BOT NO!
    Paypal | Patreon

    krystal-prisms

    Haiku bot, babe, you already did this one. Good try though, mate

    haiku-robot

    Thanks for pointing out my visible fuckups, why don’t you eat cheetos flavored popsicle instead of insulting me or my haikus?

    just-bean-thoughts

    HAIKU BOT???

    purpletangomintsprite

    Haiku bot went on its own murder spree.

    biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

    shame on you gaud. you haven't given me anxiety. you've only made me hornier for clowns.

    i can assure you the shame here is not on me

    groovy-rat-man

    ~honk honk~ 🥵🤡🤤

    pogaytosalads-deactivated202104

    When you slap a clowns ass it makes a honking sound

    cherry-frog

    when you squeeze a clown’s nipple it sprays water at you like one of those trick flowers

    mortimermcmirestinks

    wait until you hear about the enormous foot fetish

    woman-of-clay

    Clowns and priests apparently used to be a combined job so the term “ritual clown” exists.

    biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

    I am going to tear you limb from limb and render your meat into organic farmer’s market sausages

    chaosncabbages

    I’m sorry, that’s meant to avert evil? How? Sheer one-upmanship?

    biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

    is now a good time to mention ritual clowning has its own wikipedia category?

    image

    not page. category

    just-shower-thoughts

    Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

    shesfromsaturn

    Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

    teamnowalls

    father god 

    abrown16

    …if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

    singingnightowl

    -_-’

    (15+15=30

    25+25=30)

    britteryikes

    25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

    laurdlannister-kingslayer

    Lord have mercy….

    mf-johnson

    3 days into 2018 smh

    kwantsu

    LMAOOOOOOO

    lizzysarai

    One

    Three

    Five

    Nine

    And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

    britteryikes

    🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

    thxrsdxy

    It keeps getting worse.

    e-wifey

    LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

    goldensweetcheeks

    My head hurts…

    lordhams

    This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

    drankinwatahmelin

    who failed yall?

    microtear

    IM SCREAMING

    hey-hey-shutthefuckup

    You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

    shaolinbynature

    why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

    emma-d-klutz

    3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

    legowerewolf

    happy New year’s eve

    prguitarman

    I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

    majitowfoxlover

    Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

    daddyhyperion

    did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

    stvckyslvt

    Reblogging for the last one😂

    kitsumekat

    The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

    awkwardintrovert2004

    TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

    cyberduckshark

    Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

    mysticalpoodle

    ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

    im-an-aesthetic-mess

    bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

    katatles-the-fish

    what the actual fuck is happening

    andy-the-anon

    I’m gonna smack you

    insert-gay-pun-queer

    -30 and -50 have an e in them

    kurlyfryz

    Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

    anachronistic-cat

    Zero isn’t a number

    kurlyfryz

    It can’t be divided by two though, can it

    toaster-120

    It can??? 0/2=0??

    baconaxolotl101

    OD NUMBERS

    onE

    thrEE

    fivE

    sEvEn

    ninE

    yeetkey

    OD numbers huh?

    the-kleptomancer

    Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

    yeetkey

    YOU FORGOT 5

    yeetkey

    What about it?????

    ozzy-pawsbone-prince-of-barkness

    THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

    yeetkey

    THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

    suspicious-sweaters

    A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y

    biggest-goldiest-fish

    IM FUCKIN SOBBING HAVAGAFDHFDHHBJJ

    biggest-goldiest-fish

    im rblogging this again oof

    miscreant-side-puffs

    Is it too late to change my major after I already received the degree? Asking for a friend… 😣

    What happened to y'all?

    lookalivezay

    Bruhh this has to be the funniest post I’ve seen so far this year 😂😂

    stoicdaydreamer

    I started thinking about prime numbers for some odd reason

    simonalkenmayer

    Hahahahahahaha

    Ohhh the stupid

    lowpowerlightweight

    Well, this post was a lesson in the need for access to education…

    simonalkenmayer

    It isn’t about access to education. It’s about how they were taught. In their rush to “own” or show up each other, they forget seven, or they say OD or whatever. When they stop and think about it, they usually know. They just move too swiftly on an idea they barely understand, really, because it has no importance for them and was taught completely wrongly, a long time ago.

    Most people have the concepts of odd and even and skip counting and the ones place value mashed together, via memorization, and this is a terrible idea, because it avoids the practice of seeing patterns, which is the entire point of math. Odd numbers cannot be broken down into “pairs”. There’s always an odd man out. If you group blocks together by number, that jumps out pretty quickly. Then you might notice that…what? every other one is even and odd. You can predict what the next will be. And then you might begin to notice other patterns, like…oh…you need only even look at the ones place value to tell if a number is odd or even, because every number before that is chunked in tens. 5 and 9 are odd, but 953? 900 divides evenly into 450. 50 divides evenly into 25. but 3 cannot be divided evenly. And then you might begin to think about patterns like:

    even + even = even

    even + odd = odd

    odd + odd = …even

    which of course later sets up the patterns of negative and positive integers, and how they work on each other. The concept of splitting them evenly also sets up division and the concept of remainders, which of course sets up decimals and fractions.

    Math is patterns, and if it was taught by letting students recognize the patterns, so that it becomes a deeply reasoned through topic instead of memorization, well…we wouldn’t have this exhibition. People move so fast to show one another up, they just gloss over a topic they didn’t even learn completely.

    0 2 4 6 8 = evenly split in half, and any number ending in this number will also

    1 3 5 7 9 = always has an odd piece out, no matched pairs. Any number ending in this number is also odd

    What is 469,732 + 4.897.262? *shrugs* No clue just looking at it, but I can tell you it’s going to be even. I can also tell you it will be north of 5 million. I can also tell you that it can be divided in half evenly, which is fantastic if this is a heist and you and I need to weigh our cash to divide it.

    What is 93,584,265 + 8,643,531? No idea, but also even. Glancing at it? > 101 million. Means it can also be divided in half, once I have a calculator or time to do the long math, which is useful if I’m measuring out…oh I don’t know, two approximately even piles of gold doubloons.

    589,462 + 648,575 = … It’s odd, > 1 million. This means it cannot be split in half, and if you and I just sold a stolen painting for this amount…we’re going to have to make a deal about who gets the bigger half. Yes it’s only one dollar. I’m petty.

    If you see the patterns, you can make intelligent estimates. you can handle large numbers in increasingly easy ways. you can make predictions. Patterns are important as an exercise in thought, in logic, in reason.

    iguanodonot

    so can we start hunting down white liberals now or what

    adamtheredbeard

    The full picture is even more heart breaking after you open the uncropped version. Just a heads-up, it's rough

    afronerdism

    Nah let’s post it. Let’s feel it. Don’t look away.

    redlipstickresurrected

    Black Ghost aka Juodasis Vaiduoklis is a bronze sculpture sculpted by Svajunas Jurkus and Sergejus Plotnikovas located at the port of Klaipėda, Lithuania.

    nuclearmedicine

    HOW CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THE BLACK GHOST AND NOT POST A NIGHT PICTURE?

    luminous-warrior

    I absolutely love it.

    soaringsearingphoenix

    The worst part of human adulthood is being your own zookeeper

    sufficientlylargen

    I want to stuff a pumpkin full of raw meat and roll it around my enclosure, but I also know that I’ll have to be the one to clean up afterwards :-(

    soaringsearingphoenix

    Take steps to minimize the mess! Put a cheap, disposable plastic tarp down in the area you'll be rolling it around. And.. Maybe recognize your species-specific needs and cook the meat first

    soaringsearingphoenix

    Actually, if we're going for species-specific enrichment, a pumpkin may not be the best solution. We're not built for pouncing on prey or batting it around. We're distinguished by our persistence hunting and tool use

    What you should do is put a pack of jerky on top of a roomba, go in another room and count to ten like you're playing hide and seek - or use this time to find a tool to use - and when you come back, try to catch it by setting a trap or by pinning it down with a stick

    When you want a greater challenge, have a friend drive an RC car full of jerky around the park, and chase it until it runs out of battery

    jumpingjacktrash

    if endurance hunting doesn’t sound fun at the moment, capitalize on your foraging instincts by having a friend hide fruit around the place, making sure just a little bit is peeking out so you can spot it by color! in modern life we see so many colorful objects that turn out NOT to be a banana, i feel like this could be really soul healing.

    biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

    angels, deciding what shape to take when interacting with The Humans: well….eye contact is important to humans, right? they find it reassuring when they can see the eyes of the person they’re talking to. so if we have LOTS of eyes, in very visible places, that’ll be even MORE reassuring

    biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

    can’t stop thinking how much sense it would make if every design choice angels made was just a misguided attempt to Relate To The Humans. imagine how those conversations went

  • wings:“humans don’t like things they can’t understand, so if we’re going to levitate we should have wings. in fact we should probably have lots of wings, since we’re so big and impressive. humans like wings”
  • loud, booming voices: “fuck off Azrael the humans needs to be able to hear us.”
  • glowing: “no no no, it’s about visibility, right? the main human sensory organ works by detecting light, so if we emit light…” 
  • wheels: “why the hell are you shaped like that?” “piss off, the humans are really proud of this invention”
  • multiple faces/eyes: “it makes me relatable” “i swear to God it doesn’t–” “i need to see in every direction” “ Azrael you are a supernatural messenger of god you do not need–” “THE HUMANS NEED TO KNOW I’M WATCHING”
  • multiple limbs: “humans have lots of limbs! they like limbs” “look i let you keep the wings but–” “how do you expect me to walk?” “70,000 feet is not a reasonable number of feet, Azrael!” “fuck off i’m ENORMOUS” 
  • general gross misapprehensions of biology: “holy shit are your wings made out of eyes?” “look before you say anything i’m like 100% sure i’ve seen animals who have both wings and eyes. and you can fit so many more in this way!” “….you godforsaken googly-eyed genius”
  • biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

    #and this is why angels got so boring in the new testament after the Updated Guidelines were rolled out. Four limbs???? i’m only allowed a maximum of FOUR LIMBS????? this is BULLSHIT”

    #alternatively all the reported sightings of creepy ass angels was literally just the SAME angel  #just the same freak who kept changing its meatsuit for funsies before god caught on

    biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

    ok i have REFINED my theory!

    Old Testament Angels look like that because life in the ocean outnumbered life on land, so naturally when they visited earth they modeled their appearance on the most common lifeforms. Hench you get things like

  • radial symmetry (i.e. angels shaped like spheres) which is objectively cooler than bilateral symmetry (starfish understand this)
  • Very Numerous Limbs (2 is not the average number of arms in the ocean)
  • random glowing (bioluminescence)
  • just generally being objects of Absolute Terror to land dwellers
  • a thousand eyeballs being the Norm (have you seen scallops)
  • image

    in the majority of inhabited Earth areas (i.e. anything deeper than the continental shelf) old school angels would actually pass as Normal And Relatably-Shaped Lifeforms

    elljayvee

    this checks out

    beatrice-otter

    I think you all need to know the actual reason that seraphim have six wings–with two they covered their faces and with two they covered their feet and with two they flew–because it’s awesome.

    So, first thing, in most of the Hebrew Bible nobody can look directly at God’s face and live. God is simply too amazing/great/alien. You see God’s face, you die, not because God wants to kill you (God doesn’t!) but just … because it’s the inevitable result of contact with God’s holiness. (This is responsible for such incidents as the time God mooned Moses. Moses wanted reassurance, and asked to see God. God said, “well, you can’t see my face, but how about this. You hide in that crevice in the rock over there, and I’ll cover you up so you’re safe, and then I’ll pass by, and when I’m safely past you can look at my back, k?” And that’s how it happened.)

    Anyway, even angels can’t bear to look at God, which is why the seraphim cover their faces in God’s presence. All the weird stuff you all have just been attributing to angels? Can be applied to God with at least as much plausibility.

    And then we come to the seraphim covering their feet. Or, perhaps I should say “feet.” Because the Hebrew language, like many languages, has some euphemisms for genitalia. One of them is to call them “feet” or “hands.” This is how, for example, Ruth gets Boaz to marry her. She goes in and lays down at his “feet.” Wink wink, nudge nudge.

    So when Isaiah tells us the seraphim are flying around covering their “feet” with a pair of wings, what they’re actually doing is this: