@m--shea
Shea's Domain
Posts
10329
Last update
2020-01-29 04:34:35
    snow-fury-deactivated20170226

    Boys, protect girls. Call people out when they make offensive jokes. Stand up to those who treat girls like objects. Walk a girl home if she feels unsafe. Listen to them and be considerate of their feelings. Destroy that myth that women are inferior.

    Girls, protect boys. Call people out when they make fun of a boy for showing emotion. Stand up to those who tell boys to ‘man up.’ Support boys who enjoy feminine things. Destroy the myth that men can’t be victims and that women can’t be predators.

    Boys, protect boys. Protect your bros from violent relationships. Comfort your bros when they need somebody. Stand up for your bros who are ridiculed for not wanting/liking sex. Destroy the myth that two men can’t be close without it being “gay.”

    Girls, protect girls. Defend sisters who enjoy having sex. Stand up to those who define sisters for what they wear. Don’t judge your sister’s worth from how many boyfriend’s she’s had. Destroy the myth that girls have to constantly compete with each other.

    Protect everyone from the patriarchy. 

    lascumz

    Hallelujah.

    zodiac--signs

    Fucking important. Idc.

    bdsmplayground-blog

    Technical names for Kinks and what they are...

    To celebrate all the wonderful, wacky and weirdness of love we have our ”Grab a paraphilia and some bishies and run with it” challenge.

    Any bishie is up for grabs, any kink is up for grabs, the more of either or both the better. We`ll except fanart, photomanips, poems, ficlets, fics, rps, round robins just make sure you mention which kinks you have choosen and which bishies.

    You can download the list as a txt file here, or in the channel from me.

    Paraphilias in a relationship should always be approached in a safe sane and consensual way but since we`re talking fiction that becomes less of a requirement.

    This is not a complete list and in no way covers all aspects of the listed kinks. Several were left off deliberatly and in no way do inclusions and or exclusions imply our condemnation or our approval.

    If you`re writing a story that pushes the boundries of what would be healthy in a real relationship that`s alright. if you have another fetish not listed please feel free to use it as long as it does not deal with either child or animal abuse and you have a warning. please also note we reserve the right to remove anything without explanation

    The list note: in all cases these are extreme turn ons, instead of just things that one likes.

    A

    Ablutophilia - Baths or showers Acomoclitic - Hairless genitals (see gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, pubephilia, trichophilia)  Acrophilia - High places Acrotomophilia - Amputee partner Acousticophilia - Aroused by sounds  Actirasty - Exposure to the sun’s rays Agalmatophilia/Pygmalionism - Statues/manikins or immobility  Agonophilia - Pseudo-rape, pretend struggle or wrestling play as a form of foreplay Agoraphilia - Sex in public places  Agrexophilia - Excitement from knowing that others are aware of a persons sexual activities  Algolagnia/Algalagnia - Love of pain Allorgasmia - Fantasizing about someone other than one’s partner  Allotriorasty - Partners of other nations or races  Alphmegamia - Older men Altocalciphilia - High heels (see retifism) Alvinolagnia - Stomachs (see partialism) Amaurophilia - Partner who is unable to see them during sex, blind/blindfolded sex partner  Anaclitism - Activities or items one was exposed to as an infant  Anasteemaphilia - Taller or shorter partners  Androidism - Robots with human features  Anophelorastia - Defiling or ravaging a partner  Antholagnia - Floral scent Aphephilia - Being touched Apotemnophilia - self-amputee Arachnephilia - Spiders  Asphyxiophilia - Self-strangulation Asthenolagnia - Weakness/being humiliated  Audiophilia - Recorded sound Autagonistophilia - Exposing naked body or genitals to strangers while on stage, while being photographed Autoassassinophilia - Staging one’s own murder Autonephioplia - Diapers

    B

    Belonephilia - Pins/needles/sharp objects Biastophilia - Violently raping their victims

    C

    Choreophilia - Dancing to orgasmic release  Chrematistophilia - Having to pay for sex or having a sex partner steal from them, being robbed Chrysophilia - Gold or gold colored objects (see timophilia) Claustrophilia - Being confined in a small space  Coprolalia - Using obscene language or writing  Coulrophilia - Clowns  Crurophilia - Legs  Crush fetishism - Seeing small creatures being crushed or being crushed

    D

    Dacryphilia - Seeing their partner cry  Dendrophilia - Trees or fertility worship of them  Doraphilia - Skin, animal fur, or leather (see hyphephilia) Dracophilia - Dragons and serpents  Dysmorphophilia - Deformed or physically impaired partners (see teratophilia)

    E

    Ecouteurism - Listening to others having sex without permission  Electrophilia - Electricity  Endytophilia - Partners who are clothed  Erotographomania - Writing love poems or letters Erotophonophilia - Lust murder Exhibitionism - Showing genitals in public

    F

    Fetishism - An inanimate object Fisting - pretty easy to figure out Formicophilia - Sex play with ants  Frotteurism - Rubbing one’s genitals against or fondling the body parts of a non-consenting person

    G

    Gerontophilia - Partner whose age is that of different generation  Gynelophilous - Sight/touch of pubic hair (see acomoclitic, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, pubephilia, trichophilia)  Gymnophilia - Nudity  Gynemimetophilia - Male impersonating a female

    H

    Haematomania/Hematolagnia - Blood  Hamartophilia - Committing acts you consider to be sinful Haptephilia - Becoming extremely aroused by being touched Harmatophilia - Sexual incompetence/mistakes Harpaxophilia - Being robbed or burglarized (see chrematistophilia) Hierophilia - Sacred objects  Hirsutophilia - Armpit hair (see acomoclitic, gynelophilous, hyphephilia, pubephilia, trichophilia)  Hodophilia - Traveling  Homilophilia - Hearing or giving sermons  Hybristophilia - People who have committed crimes, people who are cruel/outrageous  Hygrophilia - Body fluids or moisture  Hyphephilia - Touching skin, hair, leather, fur, or fabric/specific fabric (see acomoclitic, doraphilia,gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, pubephilia, trichophilia)  Hypoxyphilia - Sexual arousal from the limiting or withholding of oxygen

    K

    Kainotophilia - Change Kakorrhaphiphilia - Failure  Keraunophilia - Thunder and/or lightning Kinesophilia - Exercise  Kleptophilia - Stealing  Klismaphilia - Being given an enema  Knismolagnia - Being tickled Knissophilia - Incense Kopophilia - Exhaustion

    M

    Macrogenitalism - Large genitals  Macrophilia - Giants  Masochism - Being dominated/humiliated Mastigophilia - Punishment Megalophilia - Large objects Merinthophilia - Being bound Metophilia - Another person’s face Metrophilia - Poetry Mysophilia - Filth/foul odors/decaying material

    N

    Narratophilia - Discussing sex with others  Nasophilia - Noses/nose (see partialism) Neophilia - Anything new Normophilia - Acts considered normal by their religion/society  Nyctophilia - Darkness or night

    O

    Ochlophilia - Being in a crowd  Oculophilia - Eyes (see partialism) Oculolinctus - Licking their partner’s eyeball Odaxelagnia - Biting/being bitten  Odontophilia - Tooth extractions/tooth fetish  Ophidicism - Reptiles  Ozolagnia - Powerful scents

    P

    Parthenophilia - Sex with virgins Partialism - Specific parts of the body(see alvinolagnia, nasophilia, oculophilia, podophilia)  Pecattiphilia - Sinning/guilt Pediophilia - Dolls  Phallophilia - Large penis/large penis fetish  Phobophilia - Fear/hate  Phygephilia - Being a fugitive  Pictophilia - Inability to become aroused without pictorial pornography  Plushophilia - Stuffed toys  Podophilia - Feet (see partialism) Polyiterophilia - Sex with a series of partners  Psychrocism - Cold/ice  Pubephilia - Pubic hair (see acomoclitic, gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, trichophilia)  Pygmalionis - Rubbing one’s body against a statue/statue/manikins Pygophilia - Contact with the buttocks  Pyrolagnia - Watching fire Pyrophilia - Fire or its uses in sex play

    R

    Retifism - Shoes (see altocalciphilia) Rhabdophilia - Being flagellated  Robotism - Robots in sex play

    S

    Sadism - Dominating/mistreating/humiliating one’s partner Salirophilia - Ingesting human sweat or saliva (fluids with a salt content)  Scatophilia - Obscene phone calls  Scopophilia - Being stared at oneself  Siderodromophilia - Trains  Sitophilia - Using food  Somnophilia - Fondling a stranger in their sleep  Spectrophilia - An image in an mirrors/sex with spirits  Stigmatophilia - Marking one’s own body/inserting foreign objects into it Symphorophilia - Arranging a crash/disaster/explosion

    T

    Tantalolagnia - Teasing  Taphephilia - Being buried alive  Teratophilia - Deformed or monstrous people (see dysmorphophilia) Thesauromania - Collecting women’s clothing  Thlipsosis - Pinching  Timophilia - Gold or wealth (see chrysophilia) Transformation fetish - Depictions of transformations of people into objects/other beings  Trichophilia - Hair (see acomoclitic, gynelophilous, hirsutophilia, hyphephilia, pubephilia,)  Triolism - Three-party sex  Troilism - Couples Tripsolagnophilia - Massage

    U

    Urtication - Stinging nettles stimulating the skin

    V

    Vaccinophilia - Being vaccinated Vicarphilia - Hearing stories about other people’s lives  Vincilagnia - Being tied up Vorarephilia - Fantasies about being swallowed alive  Voyeurism - Watching others have sex

    X

    Xenophilia - Strangers

    Z

    Zelophilia - Jealousy  Zwischenstufe - Person of the same sex

    mindbrokensluts

    Trains? Giving sermons? Licking eyeballs? Does anyone actually have those fetishes?

    m--shea

    My curiosity is piqued.

    I’ve had a sudden spike in new followers lately, though it seems to have slowed down.

    Welcome, all of you. I hope that you enjoy your stay.

    I must admit, however, that I’m quite curious about what led so many of you here.

    Anyone feel up to answering?

    m--shea

    It’s apparently that time of year again! Any explanation about the sudden surge of followers that arrived here in the last day or so would be appreciated  🙂

    princesstingles

    TooDomForYou

    Tumblr won’t let me send an ask from this blog so I’ll just post and tag it. Also, I’m feeling kinda passionate and emotional about this so forgive me if I’m a little all over the place.

    I have a great many things to say about @toodomforyou.
    Some of you may remember many moons ago when there was a fake princesstingles blog dedicated to spreading vicious and slanderous lies about me. You may even remember the screenshots I posted where that blogger sent me threatening and hateful messages, first declaring themselves as my dom, then claiming to know where I live and threatening to come hurt me. What you probably don’t know is that tumblr refused my frantic requests that they remove and block this person from their site since he was obviously abusive, slanderous, and dangerous. They told me that they couldn’t prove the things he said about me weren’t true, therefore it wasn’t slander and he was allowed to remain. That was until TDFY got involved. All they did was reblog my plea for help and the link to the fake account. HUNDREDS of messages were sent to tumblr on my behalf and he was shut down.

    That is just ONE story. One small, insignificant thing that this wonderful blog has done to help someone. I’m sure there are many stories from people all over our community that have been positively touched in some way by the diligent work these bloggers do to out fakes and educate BDSM participants.

    That is why I am so disheartened to see the copious amounts of combative messages and outright hate that TDFY is receiving.

    These are real people running this blog. Let me repeat that: REAL PEOPLE RUN THIS BLOG. That means an actual human being with thoughts and feelings and emotions is forced to suffer through the absolute filth being thrown at them. And being the consummate professionals that they are, they address it respectfully and keep doing their best to help others. •You are throwing your shit at them and they are brushing it off and asking you if you’d like help wiping.•

    Being a presence on tumblr doesn’t mean that they owe you anything. If you don’t like what they post, run your own damn blog.

    I’m not saying that they are all perfect shining examples of doms and subs or that you should agree to everything they ever post without question. They’re human. Everyone has different opinions. And everyone has room to learn and to grow. But JFC can you please cut them a break. They are doing powerful good in our community and you are doing your very best to tear them down. (And fuck you very much for that by the way).

    “But Tingles, how could you expect us to be respectful to TDFY when the whole premise of their blog is them making fun of other Doms?” Well I guess that depends on one very important thing….are you one of the shitty “doms” being targeted? Because if you are, there’s definitely a valid reason. And even then, if you engage them in logical and meaningful discourse to defend your actions, they’ll gladly consider your point of view and use it as a learning experience for you both. And if you’re not one of those people, then why would you be offended by TDFY working so hard to protect others?

    I really don’t know what else to say here, because I honestly didn’t think this type of thing needed saying. But I’m over the hate and negativity so I felt compelled to speak up. That’s what the Little Army is about, defending others in our community and protecting those who need it. Even if they happen to be a massive blog that is more than capable of looking out for themselves.

    TL;DR: stop being so shitty to @toodomforyou

    Please and thank you PrincessTingles

    danipup

    I heart you so much, @princesstingles.  and i am so fucking sorry that that happened to you and you had to go through that.

    And I sit here reblogging this post from inside the home of one of the TDFY bloggers. You’re damn fucking right these are real people, and the person whose home I am in right now is not only a real person, but one of the most real, sincere, and genuinely caring people I’ve ever known in my entire life.

    Take a beat, haters, whoever you are that is trying to test TDFY this week.  I don’t know what the hell you’re trying to do, or prove, and I don’t really care, quite honestly.  

    But I know this:  you’re wrong.  

    Not for having an opinion, not those of you who might engage the blog with polite and considerate discourse, but if you don’t believe that TDFY is 100% about protection and defending this community, or more apt, defending those within it who are taken advantage of by people with nothing but ill intention, then I don’t fucking understand you. 

    And honestly, I don’t even want to.  

    Keep the fire burning, @toodomforyou.  You’re doing the good work. And I will support you to the ends of the earth.

    toodomforyou

    I ❤️you both so much. Thank for understanding that while we may be flawed, even deeply so, we are humans and we are doing the best we can to make this community that we love a safer and better place.

    -LMS

    gingah-ninjah

    Seriously tho Did everyone just conveniently forget that James Deen is a rapist or wtf…????

    the-ladythc

    Yeah I’m getting real tired of seeing his shit on my dash. Esp when people post his rape fantasy porn. And it’s always women I see reblogging it. Like “look at this rapist pretending to rape someone on camera,” fuck I don’t want to see that…

    mirahxox

    I HATE rape fantasy to begin with but like People I follow are working with him and I’m like ??????????? WHY???????? Why would you work with a promote a rapist?? Fuck that.

    the-ladythc

    Yeah it honestly blows my mind that he’s still doing porn. He should be ostracized from the porn community, what the hell…

    mirahxox

    I completely agree ESPECIALLY by other GodsGirls, I feel like.

    And I’ve seen a few people be like “but he’s so attractive” and I’m like …….and????

    juicy--kitty

    He also wasn’t stripped of his 33 nominations and was visiting the Adult Entertainment Expo where Stoya was supposed to host a panel on consent but she opted out on going (wonder why) so the consent panel was cancelled as well. It’s really disheartening that there hasn’t been enough repercussions for what he’s done, even though from mostly what I’ve read he can’t get a contract with any other company so he’s only really left to work with his company now so I guess there is that??????????? But he still won two awards out of the 33 and everyone is just okay with someone who’s been a predator on many content creators is still being allowed in the community and at expos.

    m--shea

    I’m honestly unsure if it’s the right thing to do, but my current mindset can be summed up as: he’s a terrible person, and he’s not getting a penny of my money, but why should I let the fact that he’s scum get in the way of otherwise great pornography? I just shift my focus and mentally blot his face out of the scene, as with any number of other distracting and distasteful details in pictures. 

    I don’t know, perhaps I’m just rationalizing.

    mirahxox

    Well first of all you should be paying for all of your pornography so this doesn’t really work at all? Secondly, I don’t know how you rationalize porn as “great” if it involves a rapist.

    m--shea

    @juicy--kitty: Fair enough.

    @mirahxox: I suppose that I should have clarified. I do not go out and pirate pornography--all of the porn that I was referring to is on Tumblr. I’m having trouble finding a phrasing that doesn’t sound defensive or pissy, but generally speaking, people do not pay for porn that is posted on Tumblr (unless you want content behind paywalls, commissioned stuff, etc.) so if I reblog posts that have him in it, it does not feed him money. Do you object to all of the free pornography posted on Tumblr? As for your second point, I said “otherwise great,” as in, “I’m quite enjoying the picture until I notice his face.” Again, I’m having trouble with non-aggressive phrasing, but I was pretty explicitly saying that the pornography is great except for his presence. (Also, I’m human. We can--and do--rationalize all sorts of crazy and stupid ideas. Just look at America’s current political clusterfuck. That doesn’t make it okay, hence my uncertainty above, but it does make it more understandable.)

    gingah-ninjah

    Seriously tho Did everyone just conveniently forget that James Deen is a rapist or wtf…????

    the-ladythc

    Yeah I’m getting real tired of seeing his shit on my dash. Esp when people post his rape fantasy porn. And it’s always women I see reblogging it. Like “look at this rapist pretending to rape someone on camera,” fuck I don’t want to see that…

    mirahxox

    I HATE rape fantasy to begin with but like People I follow are working with him and I’m like ??????????? WHY???????? Why would you work with a promote a rapist?? Fuck that.

    the-ladythc

    Yeah it honestly blows my mind that he’s still doing porn. He should be ostracized from the porn community, what the hell…

    mirahxox

    I completely agree ESPECIALLY by other GodsGirls, I feel like.

    And I’ve seen a few people be like “but he’s so attractive” and I’m like …….and????

    juicy--kitty

    He also wasn’t stripped of his 33 nominations and was visiting the Adult Entertainment Expo where Stoya was supposed to host a panel on consent but she opted out on going (wonder why) so the consent panel was cancelled as well. It’s really disheartening that there hasn’t been enough repercussions for what he’s done, even though from mostly what I’ve read he can’t get a contract with any other company so he’s only really left to work with his company now so I guess there is that??????????? But he still won two awards out of the 33 and everyone is just okay with someone who’s been a predator on many content creators is still being allowed in the community and at expos.

    m--shea

    I’m honestly unsure if it’s the right thing to do, but my current mindset can be summed up as: he’s a terrible person, and he’s not getting a penny of my money, but why should I let the fact that he’s scum get in the way of otherwise great pornography? I just shift my focus and mentally blot his face out of the scene, as with any number of other distracting and distasteful details in pictures. 

    I don’t know, perhaps I’m just rationalizing.

    m--shea

    Apologies

    I’m sorry about today—I try to be better about this, but some serious technical difficulties cropped up this week. At this point, I’m just glad that I don’t have to get a new laptop before I can get back on at all.

    (By the way, if this stops updating without a word, that’s what’s happened.)

    Regardless, I’ll try to get up some extra posts as an apology. Happy Tumbling 😊

    m--shea

    And again. More technical difficulties and work kind of exploding with business unexpectedly. Sorry about that.

    m--shea

    Yet again, with more serious computer issues…ugh, it might be time to look into getting a new one. 

    m--shea

    Sorry for the recent issues, work has been a pain in the ass. 

    sleepy-skittles

    Write diverse polyamory

    Write couples that date people together.  Write couples dating other couples.  Write three people finding each other and deciding it works.  Write two people that fall in love with the same person, but not each other.  Write people whose relationship is more complicated, more undefined.  Write triads and quads and Vs with aromantic and asexual characters.  Write how characters navigate important discussions about gender and romance and sexuality.

    Write relationships that don’t tie up in a nice, neat triangle or box.  Sometimes one person is in a triad, but also has someone else they love very much and start to date outside of that relationship.  Sometimes one person’s dating someone who’s dating someone else who’s dating someone else, and nothing ties up nicely and neatly.  Sometimes there are large groups that cluster together, with individualized dynamics that they simplify for other people as “we’re all dating” because it takes too long to explain to a passing stranger.

    Write polyamorous relationships forming, or things not working out in the end.  It’s okay.  Sometimes things don’t work.  Polyamorous relationships are just like every other relationship in that if there isn’t open communication, things can fall apart.  It’s sometimes even more true of polyamorous relationships.  Jealousy can be real.  Awkwardness, too.  That’s okay.  Things are sometimes complicated and unhappy.  It doesn’t invalidate polyamory any more than monogamous relationships not working out does.

    Write marriages that don’t go down on paper in the record books, because it’s not a simple couple, but that still mean the world to the people who are exchanging rings and vows.  Write first kisses and first dates and first “I love you”s and first times sharing a bed not big enough for everyone.  

    There’s a big, wide world of polyamory unexplored by fic, just waiting to be written.  Don’t be afraid.  

    Write diverse polyamory.

    amipolydemi

    This is a preface to my current life.

    lesbian360s

    When she’s shy: ‘She’s too shy bruh. It can be annoying sometimes. I like a confident girl’

    When she’s confident: ‘This girl needs to learn to keep shut. It’s not everything you feel that you say’

    When she’s very private with her body: ‘Fuckin prude’

    When she’s body confident: ‘Hoe’

    When she’s super supportive: ‘Bitch is too clingy’

    When she doesn’t show her emotions: ‘She’s like a man’

    When she shows her emotions: ‘She’s like a child’

    When she doesn’t show affection: ‘I’m a guy but we need more than sex too’

    When she loves you too much: ‘I like the chase. It’s too easy with her’

    -Data Pepple

    blackabsolem

    Ooooh. I don’t even like tea *sips* but this cup alright here *sips*

    amberssoprissy

    Pour me some doeee 👏🏽

    People Like Us

    What does it say about me, what does it say about you, that we do the thing we do?

    What does it mean that I need you in a secret way, a way we never tell another soul? That I love to feel your hand on the back of my neck, that I bend at your word, that I go to bed, just on your say so, that I bring you the paddle when you tell me to?

    What does it do to me when you make me call you sir, when you turn me upside down and spank my bare cheeks, when you leave me red and sore and rubbing my bottom, and then I am so very much in love with you? Why do I struggle so hard against you when I know I will acquiesce? Why can’t I tell you that I want to?

    Why am I disappointed when you sigh and shake your head and then go back to what you were doing, and I am left wondering why you stopped? And I wonder if I frustrate you too much, and if you don’t want to spank me ever again. And something feels anxious and small inside me and I don’t know where to go or what to do until I hear your voice calling me to your side.

    And when you do spank me, lifting my nightgown, lowering my panties, making me feel like a little, little girl and terribly, terribly shy–and you do it so gleefully and evilly that all my doubts are gone?

    Why do I so willingly shed my power, my pose, my poise and my panties, just because you walked in the door? Why do I need it, why do I want it, why do I want more?

    Maybe it means I’m completely yours. You’re entirely mine. That the truth of us is different than the truth of us earlier, when we kept things hidden from each other, when I was afraid to let you be in charge. 

    Maybe it means nothing at all.

    Maybe it is just a thing that is. Like the north wind meeting the bared trees in winter, or dry logs catching fire at the strike of a match. Maybe it is nature and combustion and maybe it is like any man and any woman who meet without constraints, or words, or don’ts, or shouldn’ts, or we dare nots.

    Maybe it’s the slipping of a silk blouse off a woman’s shoulder and the man’s firm hand pulling her close to him and it’s the hardness of the man she feels when he does and it’s the softness of her that makes him bend his head to her neck and lift her hair and kiss below her ear while she drops her head back and moves her hands across his back and wants without words but he knows what she needs–

    Maybe it’s just us. 

    And people like us.

    i-provide-you-defer-deactivated

    Be submissive.

    Demure. Yielding. Pliant. You’ll find many doors that you’ve been pounding on suddenly open on their own.

    It’s the natural order.

    firefly-flashes

    This is the thing I struggle with the most. 

    I am not naturally yielding or pliant - I’m a pretty take-charge kind of girl. Professionally, I have to be. Need to be. I can’t just sit on the sidelines and go along with everyone else’s poor decisions (or worse, indecisiveness). I like to think I’m a good leader and a good teacher - my interns and staff are generally happy, well-liked, and successful. They go on and do bigger and better things. People come to me instead of/before going to my boss because my decisions influence his. If I was yielding and pliant, I wouldn’t be so effective.

    Sure, sometimes I get called a bitch. A ball-buster. A know-it-all. I accept no excuses and I tolerate no slacking off. I work hard and I expect the same from the people I work with. I’m a perfectionist. And if I don’t let the complainers know that every little shot hurts, that I get anxious and stressed out often - its because I can’t give them any ammunition to fire at me later.

    And personally, as a single parent, I have to be in charge most of the time. I can’t sit around wringing my hands and waiting for someone else to make the decisions. If something needs to be fixed, I fix it (Did you know you can learn how to fix an ice-maker on youtube?!). New jackets need to be bought? I buy them. 

    And goodness knows I’m not perfect. I need to go to gym more and bake cookies less. I need to stop Tumblring and and write. I need to take a few more days off and work a few less nights for absolutely no extra pay whatsoever. I need to say “no” a lot more.

    Here’s the thing - I wish I could let someone else make the decisions. Even if it was just about the heels I was wearing today or what I’m going to cook for dinner tonight. But the thing is, someone still has to make the decisions. Things still have to get done. 

    So even when it’s exhausting, I do it. And I’m going to keep on doing it.

    Even if it makes me a craptastic submissive. Or not submissive at all. 

    It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be. Someday.

    vaginaandmagirl

    Taking care of what needs to be done in the absence of anyone else doesn’t make you a “craptastic submissive”. It makes you (from what I can read) a great employee, a leader others admire, and a great mom. You know whom to yield to and who needs you to lead. That’s wisdom.

    I’m actually glad you posted this. I see it so much. And inevitably many women who see themselves as strong leaders in their work or in life (in the absence of a Dominant - ie, they are single) view themselves somehow as “lesser than” submissives.

    I’ll share a quick story: I work alongside another teacher who when I was given my position, I was told I would have to lead. He’s timid. He’s not a leader in the least of terms. He is kind and compassionate though - and very smart. In the right environment, he’d be a great teacher. But he drives me crazy - because I’m NOT the sort of person who wants to tell people what to do. I’m not a micromanager. I’m all for working with people who can delegate well and do what needs to be done when they see it needs to be done. This guy though…man. He has to be told everything. Even when I attempt to delegate something to him - I have to tell him what and how to do it. Recently we had to decide who would take a break when we were covering a class during testing. He couldn’t even take charge of that when I attempted to leave it to him. I finally had to tell him to take his break. This is not the sort of thing someone should need leadership in, but there you have it. I could be yielding and pliant ALL DAY with this dude and literally NOTHING would get accomplished. Nope, instead I’d suck at my job and not be serving my administrators or students well.

    The point: I refuse to yield to someone incapable of honoring or appreciating my deference. What sense is there in that? None. I lead. Often. Whenever it calls for it. And I’m damn good at it. I keep being told by different administrators that I should consider going into administration myself because I’m “a natural”. Imagine that! Me, a happily submissive woman, being told she’s a natural administrator/leader.

    But the thing is - I CAN imagine that. For me. For you. For many beautifully submissive women. Because at the end of the day, we are all so strong. Our very desire to submit is powerful. Am I demure? Am I yielding? To those who’ve shown they can wield such power as my submission - yes. We are lionesses. We are queens. We do what needs to be done. And if by some chance a worthy man comes along that we respect and trust enough to yield our strength to? Can you imagine how good of a man he must be? To draw out our deference and submission?

    We are fierce. And if we be tamed, it is because we have found a soul strong enough to tame us and worthy enough to earn our yielding.

    You, my dear, are not a “craptastic submissive”. You are fierce.

    submissiveinseattle

    ^^All of this.  Speaking as a very submissive woman who has recently become single, I can tell you that everything she says is spot on.  I am, and have always been, the ‘I know what I’m doing, so just stay out of my way’ type. When I tell my friends and co-workers about my alternate life, they are shocked.  One of my close friends recently commented to me, “I know that I will never understand your lifestyle, but what confuses me is that there’s a very strong part of you that is obviously NOT submissive.”

    Being submissive does not mean letting people walk all over you.  Being submissive does not mean standing by and letting others live your life for you.  Being submissive means that you’ve found someone who deserves to share your strength in such a way that you don’t have to carry it on your own anymore.