mcdolans

    ha?

    every single person who reblogs this

    every

    single

    person

    will get “doot doot” in their ask box

    paint-me-a-butt

    I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRET

    takemewherethewildthingsare

    SERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU

    m-a-l-t-a-r-a

    I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

    thefandomlyfe
    image

    there are over 128,000 notes and i still got one

    how

    kirksthyla
    image

    i reblogged this less than 2 minutes ago

    how the actual fuck

    assliam

    well

    image
    image

    do not question

    narwhaliscrossing

    What the heck why not

    darny-darnvito

    Give me the DOOT DOOT

    harleyrotten

    DOOT DOOT WAS THE NAME OF ONE OF FAVOURITE CATS IN THE WORLD

    jean-bilius

    IT FUCKING WORKED JFDHSBS

    fanfictionfish13

    I’m half terrified and half curious

    heart-of-a-cyborg

    Almost two million notes I’d like to see you fucking try

    anarchapella

    Please fucking lie to your employer. Like they don’t need to know your mental health issues or what drugs you do. Ffs

    unfriendlyblackwitch

    its not lying if its to employers or cops

    and look up ur rights on what they can and cannot ask u many places ban asking about ur record and transportation status and things like that resources will also tell u how they reword sketchy questions so ur prepared

    mixingpumpkins

    Hey. Take it from a former HR person… this goes double right now.

    I just spent some time putting in some job applications myself (not for HR, lol) and got about 15 interviews. And idk if it’s because of COVID uncertainty or if places just don’t fucking care anymore because they know people are desperate for work, but the amount of straight up illegal shit my interviewers asked me was appalling.

    (That’s not even counting the questions that were technically legal but clearly fishing for information they’re not legally allowed to ask.)

    A tame example? Two questions into a phone interview, the guy on the other end of the line asked: “How old are you?” I said “Excuse me?” - giving him a chance to rethink that. He didn’t. “How old are you?” “Sir, you are not allowed to ask me that question.” “Well, I want to know. I’m asking.” “And you’re legally not allowed to ask me that. I’m not required to tell you my age.” At that point, I guess he managed to remember an old HR bulletin or something (I hope to god he wasn’t actually HR himself), and he said, “Well, I need to know if you’re over the age of 18.” (Which is what he should have asked in the first place… or not, since that was in the application that he could have read.) “Yes. I’m over the age of 18.”  And we moved on. Two questions later, he tried another illegal question. I called him on it again and ended the interview, citing that a workplace with such a clear disregard for the law, especially upon first contact with a potential employee, was not going to be a good fit. (They offered me the job anyway, lol. I didn’t send a thank-you or a response.)

    At a different interview, the majority of questions were “fishing” questions - just looking for that info they’re not actually allowed to ask. (This person was also either not really HR or an HR person who was exceptionally bad at their job.)

    I could tell they were getting frustrated when I dodged answering the personal stuff, and they actually got extremely upset when I mentioned later in the interview (re: less relevant work experience) I had worked in HR. They were super flustered for the remainder of our time, and I watched them skip over questions on their sheet they had clearly planned on asking. They KNEW they were being sketchy and were counting on me not knowing anything about HR - or my rights - and so they got upset when I did.

    These were super tame examples. I’m begging you, if you’re job searching right now, PLEASE know your rights. Please know what interviewers are allowed to ask.

    Please don’t volunteer information or elaborate more than you’re required to about personal things. Save your words (and everyone’s time) by elaborating why you’re good for the position/what you can do.

    I may create a resource list on this shit later but PLEASE PLEASE KNOW THIS STUFF BEFORE YOU TALK TO AN EMPLOYER. This goes for anywhere you’re interviewing as well as your current employer. This also goes for HR. HR may be the person you go to when shitty stuff happens, but that doesn’t mean they’re your friend (or competent).

    They don’t need to know your age (beyond 16+, 18+, or 21+, depending on the job). They don’t need to know your medical history. (For the love of god, do NOT answer the “have you been diagnosed with depression?” question.) They don’t need to know if you have kids or whatever. They don’t need to know a LOT of those things that may appear on an application, including your veteran status, whether you’re on/have been on unemployment, etc. They’re not entitled to know specifics about your transportation (unless you’re using that transportation for the job, like Uber/delivery drivers). Look this up for your state/the job’s state.

    Beware questions like “What year did you graduate?” if you’re like me and don’t put dates on your resume (I just put amount of time spent at employers, not dates of employment). They’re fishing for your age. It’s “Oh, you know, 100 years ago,” if you feel comfortable making a joke, or “About [generic number, like 5 or 10] years ago” if not.

    Also beware things like the “What do you do in your free time?” question, even if you already work there. This is not a friendly getting-to-know-you question. This is a basis for judgement. Not up to an invisible standard? They’re going to be biased against you for pay raises, promotions, etc. Mention kids/lots of family/social engagements? That’s a tick against you for not being the kind of person who lives to work (yes, it’s gross and stupid). Mention lots of solitary things? Cool, that’s their mental note to ask more from you because you’re “not doing anything anyway.” By all means, be friendly with your coworkers/talk about shared interests if you want, but it is none of your boss’s business, and be aware what could get back to them. 

    Don’t. Tell. Employers. Shit.

    nunyabizni

    Enjoy a little restoration of your faith in humanity

    accidentally-logince

    Oh my goodness, the woman who gave him the hot pack, this is adorable 

    hawaiian-monk-selkie

    Well now I’m crying

    runawayrat

    “Its hard for the younger generations these days isn’t it” i have never heard any adult say that in my entire life bless this video

    shake-down-the-stars

    And now I’m crying into my tea 🥺😂

    sugar-and-spite

    For alternatives.

  • Firefox remains best in show in the category of “browsers that won’t do this bullshit.” It’s got a long, long history of trust, a sizable userbase, and a decent amount of privacy built in, with more extensions and customization options than you’ll ever need. However, note that it can sometimes perform slowly, especially with a lot of tabs open.
  • Opera is a slightly lesser-known browser, and my personal main browser for day-to-day use. It has a built-in VPN (though this can be slow at times), adblocker, and anti-tracking tools, with more available via extensions. Opera’s userbase is slightly smaller, so overall less extensions are available than Firefox, and (in my experience) it generally needs a few settings to be tweaked on first startup to make it comfortable to use (notably, the keyboard shortcuts are different from chrome/firefox).
  • DuckDuckGo is a privacy-focused search engine that also has (at least) a mobile browser (for Android devices). I’m not honestly sure if they have a desktop or Apple version, but the mobile browser provides many similar safety features to Opera. I find Opera more convenient for casual browsing, but if you’re very conscious of online security, DuckDuckGo might be the way to go.
  • Microsoft Edge exists. Don’t use it.
  • Please do yourself a favor and stop using Chrome!

    bamboozled-rainbow-superhell

    Ecosia isn’t Chrome based, right? that’s what ive been using, for the trees, and it says it doesn’t save your history but i wanted to check

    notimetosayhellogoodbye

    I’m afraid so. And based on many other Chrome based browser scandals, I don’t trust it.

    bamboozled-rainbow-superhell

    dammit. ill download firefox then :/ thanks for letting me know

    edit: how do you actually download it

    edit edit: wHY does it send me to GOOGLE, IMMEDIATELY upon downloading it????? like i have the app and it says “firefox browser” and it’s talking all about how secure it is etc but the little rainbow G icon is right next to the actual browser and theres a link right to Google on the firefox homepage how do i stop that

    satan-666s-stuff

    So from my understanding Firefox uses Google but it blocks all the trackers

    bamboozled-rainbow-superhell

    that makes sense! ty!! i ended up changing the default browser to duckduckgo anyway (and deleted google and amazon off of the browser options anyway) but i appreciate it!!! (im afraid this all becomes null and void with me using only gmail as all of my email accs but there’s not much i can really do anything about that. hopefully firefox will block gmail from seeing my searches through the gmail account i used to sign in :///)

    costofthecrown

    I’d recommend Protonmail, as a substitute for gmail. It’s a Swiss based end-to-end encrypted email service that is expanding to Proton-calander and Proton-drive with their paid version. Their ProtonVPN also has a free version with limited locations. They also have apps for both android and apple.

    To boost Firefox, Id add-on-

  • Facebook Container- isolates your Facebook activity from the rest of your web activity in order to prevent Facebook from tracking you outside of the Facebook website via third party cookies.
  • HTTPS Everywhere- Many sites on the web offer some limited support for encryption over HTTPS, but make it difficult to use. For instance, they may default to unencrypted HTTP, or fill encrypted pages with links that go back to the unencrypted site.
  • Privacy Badger automatically learns to block invisible trackers. Instead of keeping lists of what to block, Privacy Badger automatically discovers trackers based on their behavior.
  • Privacy Possum monkey wrenches common commercial tracking methods by reducing and falsifying the data gathered by tracking companies.
  • uBlock Origin is not an “ad blocker”, it’s a wide-spectrum content blocker with CPU and memory efficiency as a primary feature.
  • Firefox Multi-Account Containers lets you carve out a separate box for each of your online lives – no more opening a different browser just to check your work email! Here is a quick video showing you how it works.
    Under the hood, it separates website storage into tab-specific Containers. Cookies downloaded by one Container are not available to other Containers. With the Firefox Multi-Account Containers extension, you can…
  • Sign in to two different accounts on the same site. For example, you could sign in to work email and home email in two different Container tabs.
  • Keep different kinds of browsing far away from each other (for example, you might use one Container tab for managing your Checking Account and a different Container tab for searching for new songs by your favorite band)
  • Avoid leaving social-network footprints all over the web (for example, you could use a Container tab for signing in to a social network, and use a different tab for visiting online news sites, keeping your social identity separate from tracking scripts on news sites)
  • Enhancer for YouTube-  Built to get the most out of YouTube, this extension comes packed with all sorts of features that allow you, among other things, to manage ads as you wish, control the playback speed and the volume level with the mouse wheel, automate repetitive tasks such as selecting the appropriate playback quality, configure dozens of keyboard shortcuts to control YouTube like a pro, and much more.
  • Decentraleyes- Protects you against tracking through “free”, centralized, content delivery.
  • Protects privacy by evading large delivery networks that claim to offer free services.
  • Complements regular blockers such as uBlock Origin (recommended), Adblock Plus, et al.
  • Works directly out of the box; absolutely no prior configuration required.
  • Bitwarden- A secure and free password manager for all of your devices. Bitwarden is the easiest and safest way to store all of your logins and passwords while conveniently keeping them synced between all of your devices.
  • Several of these also have companion versions in Firefox mobile.

    If you are interested in other trustworthy add-ons, this icon shows that the add-on is an editorially curated extension that meet the highest standards of security, functionality, and user experience. Firefox staff, along with community participation, selects each extension and manually reviews them for security and policy compliance before they receive Recommended status.

    image

    Good luck! @ or message me if you need anything else.

    Edit: I’d make a firefox account so you can log in and sync tabs/bookmarks across devices.

    bamboozled-rainbow-superhell

    holy shit this is insane thank you so much!!!

    firespirited

    Long post but very useful addons. Press j to skip

    squaredstud-ies-deactivated2020

    Self-Discipline Isn’t Always the Answer

    So I wasn’t really taught to brush my teeth every day as a kid. So I didn’t. I got to be an adult and realized “hmm teeth are expensive I need to start brushing them” and brushing my teeth twice a day has been on my actual to do list every single day of my college career. It’s a habit I needed to build.

    Have I successfully done it? Absolutely not. I’m pretty good about doing it at least once a day, but some days it just doesn’t happen. It’s not that I forget usually, I just had some aversion I couldn’t figure out, until last week.

    I’m at the grocery store, in the toothpaste aisle with my roommate, and I complain about how much I hate mint. I FUCKING HATE THE TASTE OF MINT. The taste and the smell, any kind of minty thing in any form, I HATE IT. But literally every “adult” toothpaste in the aisle was some type of minty disgusting nonsense. And my roommate was like “you know you could like get kids’ toothpaste? You like bubblegum right?”

    And y’all, it was like the clouds parted. I got some strawberry bubblegum kids’ toothpaste. I brushed my teeth with it and it was a whole new experience. I have successfully brushed twice a day every day since, because the mental block I had towards it is gone! 

    I thought my lack of brushing was just a moral failing on my part; I was too lazy, too undisciplined, to build a good habit. But really? I just hate the taste of mint so much I didn’t want to brush my teeth.

    This made me realize that when presented with a change you want to make, a habit you want to build, if you’re encountering resistance in yourself, you should lean into that resistance and really investigate what’s causing it, then work on accommodating that. 

    Say you hate washing dishes so they pile up and then you’re overwhelmed by how many you have to do. Why do you hate it? Deep down, what about it do you dislike? Is touching wet food super gross for you? Try thick rubber gloves while you’re washing. Does the sound of dishing clanking together grate your nerves? Do them with headphones in and turned up loud. Do you hate the smell? Light some candles, spray some air freshener. 

    Do these things instead of gritting your teeth and forcing yourself, then ultimately failing and getting discouraged by your “lack of self-discipline”

    TL;DR: When a task is consistently hard for you, relying on self-discipline, forcing yourself, and gritting through doesn’t always work. Lean in and listen to your discomfort, and find what makes the task hard, then try to accommodate that. Also, mint toothpaste is gross.

    lady-feral

    Good advice. I have issues with both of these things and a host of others.

    lilacs-world

    If anyone ever tells me again that I'm not concentrating hard enough or I'm not focusing hard enough on doing my tasks or work or whatever, here watch this. No brain is the same and our ADHD brain looks different when focusing/concentrating!!!

    ©chalenejohnson on tiktok

    nikkitana

    Transcript

    Chalene: We have very different brains.

    Bret: Yes, we do. Very different.

    Chalene: And we're gonna show you.

    This is a SPECT, S-P-E-C-T of my husband's brain. This is his brain during focus of a--at a task that takes concentration. This is showing blood flow to the different areas of his brain when he has to focus and concentrate.

    And this...is mine.

    When I have to focus and concentrate on something I find boring, my brain literally goes to sleep.

    Okay, when I was having that test, I knew I was being tested. So I was concentrating as hard as I possibly could. I was trying to focus, and that's what happens in the brain of someone with ADHD.

    So when we say our brains work differently, we literally...

    (quieter) What was I talking about?

    thescarletlibrarian

    Neurological condition is neurological, yo.

    @danidonovan has signed her name at the bottom right of her artwork. Please give her blog a follow for more information on ADHD. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

    I also pull a lot of my information from additudemag.com. Thankfully, we’re learning more about ADHD every day!

    Also, remember, that people without this diagnosis can experience these symptoms, as well. ADHD is more chronic and a daily struggle.

    Happy ADHD awareness month all 🤗

    ms-demeanor

    I saw a video talking about why schools shouldn't grade or assign homework the other day (interesting video! I support a lot of what the speaker was saying!) But at one point word searches were described as obvious busywork - what's the point in teaching kids to read diagonal words, after all?

    Diagnosing dyslexia. Diagnosing dyslexia. Diagnosing dyslexia.

    After going through IB classes in high school, after finishing my BA while working full time, after failing algebra with the same teacher two years in a row, there is no kind of homework that has ever made me cry so hard as word searches did in the 3rd grade.

    If you've got a kid who has been working on a word search for an hour and is crying and telling you "the words aren't there," if you've got a kid who never knows what the pictures are in connect-the-dots because they can't connect the dots in the correct order, if you've got a kid who can't read analog clock faces after months of being taught how to read time, if you've got a kid who retranscribes all their music class handouts as letters because they can't wrap their head around reading music, I'm begging you to get your kid tested for dyslexia/dyscalculia.

    And I'm begging you to get them tested before they learn how to mask so hard that it's difficult to get an official diagnosis because if they need disability accommodations in college they're going to need a diagnosis but they're going to be so good at masking their disorder that it's going to be difficult to prove that they need accommodations. And 'well if you can get by well enough that as an adult you can pass a test designed to diagnose children you must not need help' is bullshit because those tests don't make you do algebra or learn a new character set.

    ms-demeanor

    Kid *sitting at the table with a book of sheet music for recorders open, carefully counting lines on the staff and then writing down a letter next to a line of letters in a spiral notebook, checking off the note, then carefully counting down the lines of the staff again*

    Adult: Why are you making this so much harder on yourself? Just read the music.

    Kid *stares into the camera like The Office the memorizes the fingering for a three minute piece of music so they can pretend to read along with the class*

    LEARN TO RECOGNIZE THE SYMPTOMS OF LEARNING DISABILITIES, JERK. YOU'RE A COLLEGE PROFESSOR FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

    ms-demeanor

    Kid *counting a scheme of dots they've made up on a series of numbers to add the numbers*

    Adult: Don't count, just add.

    Kid *head rotates 360 degrees like in the exorcist*

    Like. That's the thing. Nobody is helping you and they're telling you you're lazy and making excuse and to just work harder so you make up these little systems and mnemonics and you flex your right arm because that's the pledge of allegiance arm and you've memorized that so now you can tell left from right pretty quickly and you can count the dots on the numbers without moving your lips and you've memorized enough words that you can mostly read at a college level so you don't get told to "just sound it out" or "just look it up in the dictionary" all the time and you've got this just MASSIVE infrastructure going on under the surface to just get by and then you're thrown a monkey wrench like memorizing the quadratic equation or learning the IPA and it feels like you're climbing a mountain but everyone else is just walking along in the park and then one day you read the symptoms of dyscalculia and maybe have a little cry and you go to the disability office on campus and they show you a test and it's this tiny little hill that would have looked huge to you fifteen years ago but you've been climbing mountains for fifteen years and you realize that you have to keep climbing mountains only you could have had some ropes or some crampons but nope, you're just clinging to the rock by you're fingertips and looking at the rope you COULD have had if anyone had asked you "does this seem like a walk in the park or like a slog up a hill?" And believed your answer when you were ten.

    I can read time *now.* if you give me a second and understand that I'll get it wrong the first time, at least, I cam tell you what the clock says NOW because I've had 30 years of getting made fun of over it and it's expected and people treat you like an idiot if you can't read a clock. So I can pass your test with the clocks NOW but there's a whole bunch of infrastructure that I need to make that happen and apparently most people don't need that? So can I have some help?

    "Why would you need help? You can read time perfectly well."

    And your brain is a Rube Goldberg machine full of marbles and dominoes and apparently other people can just add the numbers without setting up a chute and a counterweight but nobody told you that so you keep feeding ever more complicated inputs into your contraption and eventually it collapses and people are just like "if you could do geometry by hand algebra should be easy, you just aren't trying" and that's about when you decide that failure is an acceptable outcome, actually, and your parents are disappointed in your wasted potential forever after.

    The End.

    tanadrin

    wait, other people do the dots on the numbers thing?? that’s a Thing???

    isaacsapphire

    Uuuuuh, I thought those symptoms were of ADHD. What's the difference between dyslexia and ADHD? Or was it like, an era thing; kids in the '60s were dyslexic, kids in the '90s were ADHD because they developed drugs to make a 40 kid classroom manageable without hiring more staff in the '90s and effectively let teachers prescribe it?

    ms-demeanor

    There's significant overlap between people who have ADHD and people with dyslexia (I've got both) but ADHD has much broader symptoms than dyslexia (which is typically described as processing issues related to written language) because ADHD is an executive function disorder that comes with memory and motivation issues alongside a whole host of things like time blindness (non-ADHD people who have dyslexia are much more able to sense time even if they can't read it) and over/under stimulation.

    And in spite of the narrative of "teachers drugged all the kids in the 90s" ADHD is significantly underdiagnosed, largely because the symptoms for the diagnostic criteria were the typical symptoms reported in hyperactive-type boys (boys with inattentive type ADHD were less likely to get diagnosed as children and girls with hyperactive symptoms are often criticized for being disruptive as chatterboxes instead of through physicality - boys with hyperactive type adhd are just most likely to present the kinds of symptoms that get them a diagnosis as well as detention, girls with both types and boys with inattentive type are more likely to be seen as minor discipline issues with inconsistent grades)

    Also ADHD meds are speed. Kids who don't have ADHD tend to be taken off of them really quickly if they're misdiagnosed because neurotypical kids are *absolutely not* more manageable on adderal than off it but ADHD kids are more able to focus and emotionally self regulate.

    non-newtonian-technomage

    if you've got a kid who retranscribes all their music class handouts as letters because they can't wrap their head around reading music, I'm begging you to get your kid tested for dyslexia/dyscalculia.

    WAIT H OLD UP you mean to tell me this is a thing?>?????? are you freaking kidding me. 5 years of piano, 10 years of choir, and nobody thought that me being completely unable to read music was a thing that maybe should be looked at im

    ms-demeanor

    People REALLY don’t talk about it.

    It doesn’t appear to be very well studied and people don’t seem to take it seriously because they’re like “well of course kids think it’s hard to learn music, it’s like learning a new alphabet” but apparently there are just a bunch of kids quietly writing “AAACDBE AAABBCC AAADCBE” in their notebooks and singing the letters to the tune in their heads and playing along to that because they get told to just try harder (and then they do by literally retranscribing the music when no one is watching).

    Also hey, while we’re here: If you were a kid or if you are an adult with “stupid hands” and it takes hours and hours and hours of practice to learn how to fret one chord, like, more hours than it takes normal people, like you’ve stopped playing guitar several times because you can’t teach your stupid hands to play the guitar (or to make the signs, or to hold the crochet hook right, or to chop the onion) and you’re clumsy (though you might have fantastic reflexes sometimes - like you catch a random ball flying at your head out of nowhere and then trip over your own feet) look up “dyspraxia.”

    (all of which is also strongly related to dysgraphia, which is difficulty writing)

    szhmidty

    I think part of the reason this and the "counting instead of adding" thing goes underdiagnosed is that the symptom presentation looks identical to how beginners without a disorder actually act.

    People just learning to add learn by counting. People just learning music learn by going through the notes and writing down the letters above.

    These behaviours don't look like a disorder at a glance, they look like someone stubbornly sticking to the beginner stage.

    ms-demeanor

    So okay my Honors Advanced Algebra II class.

    I took the same math class from Mr. Nichols two years in a row. Zero period my sophomore year, Second period my junior year. If I wanted the IB diploma I had to take calculus before I graduated and I really wanted the IB diploma, so I had to pass Honors Advanced Algebra II.

    The first year I got a C+ my first semester and a D+ (69.5%, c’mon, you could have rounded up to a C-) my second semester.

    The second year I came in to do homework before school started (my sister was in Band and Mr. Nichols got to school at 6:22 am* so I could sit in his class for 40 minutes all by myself and get help with my homework), I came into his classroom at lunch (to get help with some of the stuff that I’d messed up on the homework anyway), and I made sure to do all the extra credit and make up every test I missed.

    First Semester: B+ Second Semester: D+ (at exactly 69.5% again)

    I ended up taking Mr. Nichols Basic Algebra I class in summer school to get the math credits I needed to graduate (112%!)

    Mr. Nichols was super nice about this all, by the way, he really really wanted me to pass his class and he tried really really hard to help me but he was a dude who had graduated high school at 16, completed his BA in math by 20, and had an emergency credential by 21 - I think he was 23 when I was in his class the first time - that was not a teacher who was equipped with a strong background in pedagogy and a firm understanding of learning disabilities in students who were just a few years younger than he was.

    I guess my point is that there’s “stubbornly sticking at” and there’s “completely blocked by” points in learning a skill and at some point the people who are teaching this stuff at least should be able to tell the difference.

    “Student who is uninterested in moving beyond the basics of this skill” and “student who is spending three and a half hours on this skill each day and is not making progress” are very separate things and I know music teachers and math teachers and reading teachers probably aren’t seeing each kid that much and aren’t able to give that much focused attention to each kid but this is on the parents too.

    If your kid is working at a skill they are interested in and spending time on and they can’t move forward that’s the time to ask some questions instead of to tell your kid they can’t carry a tune in a bucket.

    *additional side note: if you’ve got ADHD and are well known as a night owl look up “delayed sleep phase disorder” and do NOT use bendaryl as a sleep aid in the long term and also maybe generally can we talk about how having kids start school at 7am is fucked up and is absolutely devastating to kids with sleep disorders and there’s no good way around it except homeschooling?

    szhmidty

    Oh they absolutely should be able to tell the difference, but for a variety of reasons lots of people just won't or aren't able to. So you end up with genuinely well intentioned people being just fucking awful about these disorders, with little interest in the critical thinking or self examination required to change.

    ms-demeanor

    ...... Actually you know what I’m coming at this at least partially backwards.

    We should probably let KIDS know what symptoms of learning disabilities are and have them fill out a rubric once a year or something.

    “This is difficult for everyone else too, I’m just especially bad at it and a failure” is a lot easier to believe if you’re never presented with contrary evidence. 

    (which, I mean, of course you have to set aside the whole culture of ableism and let kids know it’s safe to ask for help and make it ACTUALLY safe to ask for help and prevent situations where bullying can happen and destigmatize different learning styles, but if you do all of THAT, then teaching kids to look for their symptoms is probably a method of attacking this issue)

    katy-l-wood

    For everyone who DOESN’T have ADHD, congrats, the last 24 hours have showed you exactly what it is like. For everyone else who DOES have ADHD and has spent the day on an ADHDx2 speedrun like I have, I don’t know how we haven’t short-circuited either.

    systlin

    My brain is just fuckin VIBRATING right now. My ADHD is running in circles like a wound up puppy.

    katy-l-wood

    Same. So much same. I don’t know how I managed to actually get work done at my day job today.

    systlin

    It was nearly a physical effort to wrench my brain into paying attention for the 15 whole minutes of work I had to get done today, and I only managed it by having three videos playing in other tabs at the same time.

    thuriweaver

    OMG, this! There is not enough caffeine, sugar, or speed in the WORLD to get me to focus today

    fenanoni

    Have you guys tried using something to chew on? It’s helped me get through an exam today, given I probably faile it because I couldn’t study, buuuut I didn’t have to stop every five minutes

    katy-l-wood

    No because I also got a cavity in one of my front teeth filled this week and it is still kinda sore so my ability to gnaw on things is very limited.

    overwhelmedsuggestion

    Just a PSA: if you’re starting to feel like your mental health has been going down the drain and feeling really low and fatigued and finding it hard to do stuff, please be kind to yourself.

    My psych has told me she’s seeing LOTS of people go into this state, and it’s because all the adrenaline and anxiety and stress at the start of corona has been used up, and now your brain is going into a sort of depressive mode.

    So please be kind to yourself, don’t push yourself too hard and ask for extra support if you need it! !

    star-anise

    As a therapist: I’m seeing this a lot too, and it’s documented in the research. Rates of mental illness have doubled or tripled in most countries. People who weren’t vulnerable before have started experiencing depression, anxiety, and acute stress, and a lot of people’s existing mental health concerns have gotten even worse.

    thebibliosphere

    I just saw the words “ADHD privilege” and I’d say my whole brain ground to a halt, but let’s be honest, that’s nothing new.

    thebibliosphere

    ADHD privilege is forever being late because time blindness is a thing that exists and time is a meaningless construct.

    ADHD is living in a constant state of sleep deprivation as we try to fit our lives around a 9-5 work/school schedule not designed for us as our circadian rhythm kicks in much, much later than neurotypical peoples, making us natural night owls.

    ADHD privilege is forever feeling overwhelmed and like you’re never achieving anything, because unlike neurotypicals, you don’t get a hit of dopamine for doing simple tasks like folding laundry or remembering to take care of yourself. You’re not bad, lazy or worthless. You’re literally not getting enough dopamine fo your brain to work.

    ADHD privilege is having our meds be extremely hard to get because neurotypical people who don’t need the same chemical brain support as we do abuse them the shit out of them then claim they’re bad. And no, reliance on a medication that helps you is not addiction, you are not weak or failing because you need meds. Also side note: addiction is a mental illness and it’d be super swell if people could stop demonizing it and using it as justication to deny people help!!!

    True ADHD privilege is being the one person in the friend group who is able to afford a therapist who actually knows ADHD isn’t the “can’t sit still, lazy bad” disorder and relaying all the new things you learn each week in the hopes it might help someone else.

    thebibliosphere

    For context, this was on my FB timeline, and yes it was some neurotypical bullshit about how “Gifted” we are, and how we only need to realize it because “success is one part talent and two parts grift”.

    They took it down the moment me and several other friends lost our neurodivergent minds in the comments. But yeah. “ADHD privilege”. Wild.

    iideasthesia

    Sorry if I’m derailing and this isn’t as relevant as I think it is lol, but that very much reminds me of the post here on Tumblr that was like (paraphrasing cuz I don’t remember it super well) “I know Gifted Kid Syndrome is a thing but you guys seriously have to get over it” and something to the effect of needing to acknowledge our privilege to be Gifted in the first place when other kids were not. And it didn’t sit right with me because so many of those “gifted kids” have ADHD or are neurodivergent in other ways, and struggle way more than neurotypicals in other areas of life.

    What you described is just familiar, I guess, neurotypicals pretending ADHD isn’t a serious disability that interferes with your whole life, even if we excel at some things in comparison.

    thebibliosphere

    “Gifted kid syndrome exploits the favorable parts of neurodiversity and results in real mental trauma” and “treating children as stupid or subpar because they struggle is harmful and also traumatizing” are two statements that can and should co-exist as valid criticism of the current education system, and should not be pitted against each other.

    vrumblr

    Wait…neurotypical people get dopamine from stuff like laundry and dishes?

    thebibliosphere

    Yes. It’s a task completion reward. It’s not like, a super happy high or whatever to them, but their brain does give them satisfaction chemicals for completing things on a regular basis. I mentioned it briefly in my post about ADHD reward systems, and why people with things like executive dysfunction need additional reward stimulus to help get stuff done: https://tmblr.co/ZomfxxYoJtzJea00

    We don’t fail at things because we’re not trying hard enough. We are actively trying harder than neurotypical people at just about everything we do. We just literally don’t get the same reward feedback from our brains, so things that are “easy” seem so much harder. 

    ohshc-trash-14

    Wait, I’m pretty sure I have ADHD but I do get some kind of satisfaction from doing/finishing chores. Starting them is often very hard though, even if I want to do the task.

    thebibliosphere

    ADHD is not a one size fits all disorder, it’s a one size fits no one and we’re all in the same vague boat of dysfunction doing whatever we can to stay afloat. 

    For you, your reward system might work, but you struggle to start a task due to something like time blindess or an inability to accurately assess how daunting or how long a task will take. (Dopamine deficiency plays a part in these things also.)

    For example, dishes in a sink might seem daunting, it might seem like it will take hours to do because your brain is getting too much visual feedback and is over stimulated. But in reality, the task will likely take only a few minutes, and an alarm system might work better for you than a reward system.

    And for anyone who wants to know, an alarm system is when you set a timer for say, 15 minutes, and do as many dishes as you can in that time frame, or whatever else you need to do. (If 15 minutes is too much, set it for 5.) At the end of the allocated time, you will either be finished and surprised by how little time it took, or still in the middle of it. At which point you get to decide: do I add more minutes onto the timer and keep going, or am I done for now? Either way, progress has been made and is to be rewarded, because some progress is always better than no progress. This is extremely helpful for those of us who struggle with perfectionism as part of our neurodiversity, and the idea that if we can’t get something right the first time (I personally believe this lies in trauma and not being able to complete tasks the first time like NT people) there was no point doing it at all.

    ms-demeanor

    I saw a video talking about why schools shouldn't grade or assign homework the other day (interesting video! I support a lot of what the speaker was saying!) But at one point word searches were described as obvious busywork - what's the point in teaching kids to read diagonal words, after all?

    Diagnosing dyslexia. Diagnosing dyslexia. Diagnosing dyslexia.

    After going through IB classes in high school, after finishing my BA while working full time, after failing algebra with the same teacher two years in a row, there is no kind of homework that has ever made me cry so hard as word searches did in the 3rd grade.

    If you've got a kid who has been working on a word search for an hour and is crying and telling you "the words aren't there," if you've got a kid who never knows what the pictures are in connect-the-dots because they can't connect the dots in the correct order, if you've got a kid who can't read analog clock faces after months of being taught how to read time, if you've got a kid who retranscribes all their music class handouts as letters because they can't wrap their head around reading music, I'm begging you to get your kid tested for dyslexia/dyscalculia.

    And I'm begging you to get them tested before they learn how to mask so hard that it's difficult to get an official diagnosis because if they need disability accommodations in college they're going to need a diagnosis but they're going to be so good at masking their disorder that it's going to be difficult to prove that they need accommodations. And 'well if you can get by well enough that as an adult you can pass a test designed to diagnose children you must not need help' is bullshit because those tests don't make you do algebra or learn a new character set.

    ms-demeanor

    Kid *sitting at the table with a book of sheet music for recorders open, carefully counting lines on the staff and then writing down a letter next to a line of letters in a spiral notebook, checking off the note, then carefully counting down the lines of the staff again*

    Adult: Why are you making this so much harder on yourself? Just read the music.

    Kid *stares into the camera like The Office the memorizes the fingering for a three minute piece of music so they can pretend to read along with the class*

    LEARN TO RECOGNIZE THE SYMPTOMS OF LEARNING DISABILITIES, JERK. YOU'RE A COLLEGE PROFESSOR FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

    ms-demeanor

    Kid *counting a scheme of dots they've made up on a series of numbers to add the numbers*

    Adult: Don't count, just add.

    Kid *head rotates 360 degrees like in the exorcist*

    Like. That's the thing. Nobody is helping you and they're telling you you're lazy and making excuse and to just work harder so you make up these little systems and mnemonics and you flex your right arm because that's the pledge of allegiance arm and you've memorized that so now you can tell left from right pretty quickly and you can count the dots on the numbers without moving your lips and you've memorized enough words that you can mostly read at a college level so you don't get told to "just sound it out" or "just look it up in the dictionary" all the time and you've got this just MASSIVE infrastructure going on under the surface to just get by and then you're thrown a monkey wrench like memorizing the quadratic equation or learning the IPA and it feels like you're climbing a mountain but everyone else is just walking along in the park and then one day you read the symptoms of dyscalculia and maybe have a little cry and you go to the disability office on campus and they show you a test and it's this tiny little hill that would have looked huge to you fifteen years ago but you've been climbing mountains for fifteen years and you realize that you have to keep climbing mountains only you could have had some ropes or some crampons but nope, you're just clinging to the rock by you're fingertips and looking at the rope you COULD have had if anyone had asked you "does this seem like a walk in the park or like a slog up a hill?" And believed your answer when you were ten.

    I can read time *now.* if you give me a second and understand that I'll get it wrong the first time, at least, I cam tell you what the clock says NOW because I've had 30 years of getting made fun of over it and it's expected and people treat you like an idiot if you can't read a clock. So I can pass your test with the clocks NOW but there's a whole bunch of infrastructure that I need to make that happen and apparently most people don't need that? So can I have some help?

    "Why would you need help? You can read time perfectly well."

    And your brain is a Rube Goldberg machine full of marbles and dominoes and apparently other people can just add the numbers without setting up a chute and a counterweight but nobody told you that so you keep feeding ever more complicated inputs into your contraption and eventually it collapses and people are just like "if you could do geometry by hand algebra should be easy, you just aren't trying" and that's about when you decide that failure is an acceptable outcome, actually, and your parents are disappointed in your wasted potential forever after.

    The End.

    tanadrin

    wait, other people do the dots on the numbers thing?? that’s a Thing???

    isaacsapphire

    Uuuuuh, I thought those symptoms were of ADHD. What's the difference between dyslexia and ADHD? Or was it like, an era thing; kids in the '60s were dyslexic, kids in the '90s were ADHD because they developed drugs to make a 40 kid classroom manageable without hiring more staff in the '90s and effectively let teachers prescribe it?

    ms-demeanor

    There's significant overlap between people who have ADHD and people with dyslexia (I've got both) but ADHD has much broader symptoms than dyslexia (which is typically described as processing issues related to written language) because ADHD is an executive function disorder that comes with memory and motivation issues alongside a whole host of things like time blindness (non-ADHD people who have dyslexia are much more able to sense time even if they can't read it) and over/under stimulation.

    And in spite of the narrative of "teachers drugged all the kids in the 90s" ADHD is significantly underdiagnosed, largely because the symptoms for the diagnostic criteria were the typical symptoms reported in hyperactive-type boys (boys with inattentive type ADHD were less likely to get diagnosed as children and girls with hyperactive symptoms are often criticized for being disruptive as chatterboxes instead of through physicality - boys with hyperactive type adhd are just most likely to present the kinds of symptoms that get them a diagnosis as well as detention, girls with both types and boys with inattentive type are more likely to be seen as minor discipline issues with inconsistent grades)

    Also ADHD meds are speed. Kids who don't have ADHD tend to be taken off of them really quickly if they're misdiagnosed because neurotypical kids are *absolutely not* more manageable on adderal than off it but ADHD kids are more able to focus and emotionally self regulate.

    non-newtonian-technomage

    if you've got a kid who retranscribes all their music class handouts as letters because they can't wrap their head around reading music, I'm begging you to get your kid tested for dyslexia/dyscalculia.

    WAIT H OLD UP you mean to tell me this is a thing?>?????? are you freaking kidding me. 5 years of piano, 10 years of choir, and nobody thought that me being completely unable to read music was a thing that maybe should be looked at im

    ms-demeanor

    People REALLY don’t talk about it.

    It doesn’t appear to be very well studied and people don’t seem to take it seriously because they’re like “well of course kids think it’s hard to learn music, it’s like learning a new alphabet” but apparently there are just a bunch of kids quietly writing “AAACDBE AAABBCC AAADCBE” in their notebooks and singing the letters to the tune in their heads and playing along to that because they get told to just try harder (and then they do by literally retranscribing the music when no one is watching).

    Also hey, while we’re here: If you were a kid or if you are an adult with “stupid hands” and it takes hours and hours and hours of practice to learn how to fret one chord, like, more hours than it takes normal people, like you’ve stopped playing guitar several times because you can’t teach your stupid hands to play the guitar (or to make the signs, or to hold the crochet hook right, or to chop the onion) and you’re clumsy (though you might have fantastic reflexes sometimes - like you catch a random ball flying at your head out of nowhere and then trip over your own feet) look up “dyspraxia.”

    (all of which is also strongly related to dysgraphia, which is difficulty writing)

    szhmidty

    I think part of the reason this and the "counting instead of adding" thing goes underdiagnosed is that the symptom presentation looks identical to how beginners without a disorder actually act.

    People just learning to add learn by counting. People just learning music learn by going through the notes and writing down the letters above.

    These behaviours don't look like a disorder at a glance, they look like someone stubbornly sticking to the beginner stage.

    ms-demeanor

    So okay my Honors Advanced Algebra II class.

    I took the same math class from Mr. Nichols two years in a row. Zero period my sophomore year, Second period my junior year. If I wanted the IB diploma I had to take calculus before I graduated and I really wanted the IB diploma, so I had to pass Honors Advanced Algebra II.

    The first year I got a C+ my first semester and a D+ (69.5%, c’mon, you could have rounded up to a C-) my second semester.

    The second year I came in to do homework before school started (my sister was in Band and Mr. Nichols got to school at 6:22 am* so I could sit in his class for 40 minutes all by myself and get help with my homework), I came into his classroom at lunch (to get help with some of the stuff that I’d messed up on the homework anyway), and I made sure to do all the extra credit and make up every test I missed.

    First Semester: B+ Second Semester: D+ (at exactly 69.5% again)

    I ended up taking Mr. Nichols Basic Algebra I class in summer school to get the math credits I needed to graduate (112%!)

    Mr. Nichols was super nice about this all, by the way, he really really wanted me to pass his class and he tried really really hard to help me but he was a dude who had graduated high school at 16, completed his BA in math by 20, and had an emergency credential by 21 - I think he was 23 when I was in his class the first time - that was not a teacher who was equipped with a strong background in pedagogy and a firm understanding of learning disabilities in students who were just a few years younger than he was.

    I guess my point is that there’s “stubbornly sticking at” and there’s “completely blocked by” points in learning a skill and at some point the people who are teaching this stuff at least should be able to tell the difference.

    “Student who is uninterested in moving beyond the basics of this skill” and “student who is spending three and a half hours on this skill each day and is not making progress” are very separate things and I know music teachers and math teachers and reading teachers probably aren’t seeing each kid that much and aren’t able to give that much focused attention to each kid but this is on the parents too.

    If your kid is working at a skill they are interested in and spending time on and they can’t move forward that’s the time to ask some questions instead of to tell your kid they can’t carry a tune in a bucket.

    *additional side note: if you’ve got ADHD and are well known as a night owl look up “delayed sleep phase disorder” and do NOT use bendaryl as a sleep aid in the long term and also maybe generally can we talk about how having kids start school at 7am is fucked up and is absolutely devastating to kids with sleep disorders and there’s no good way around it except homeschooling?

    szhmidty

    Oh they absolutely should be able to tell the difference, but for a variety of reasons lots of people just won't or aren't able to. So you end up with genuinely well intentioned people being just fucking awful about these disorders, with little interest in the critical thinking or self examination required to change.

    ms-demeanor

    ...... Actually you know what I’m coming at this at least partially backwards.

    We should probably let KIDS know what symptoms of learning disabilities are and have them fill out a rubric once a year or something.

    “This is difficult for everyone else too, I’m just especially bad at it and a failure” is a lot easier to believe if you’re never presented with contrary evidence. 

    (which, I mean, of course you have to set aside the whole culture of ableism and let kids know it’s safe to ask for help and make it ACTUALLY safe to ask for help and prevent situations where bullying can happen and destigmatize different learning styles, but if you do all of THAT, then teaching kids to look for their symptoms is probably a method of attacking this issue)