Clothing and diapers: shopping list
Clothes
Dresses. If you are a girl, I would recommend putting more midi and maxi dresses in your wardrobe, whether or not they suit your style.
Jeans. Go for the most relaxed fit you can find.
Onesies. You should have a good number of these. I would recommend well over a dozen minimum. I know they’re expensive, but it’s a good investment.
Overalls and shortalls. Especially for people who are regularly more heavily diapered or have more severe continence needs, overalls and shortalls are preferable to jeans and shorts, respectively, if you can make them work.
Shirts. I would recommend getting more polo shirts; onesies, which typically have high, round necks, look a little weird under T-shirts with lower round necks, for this reason. Unfortunately, I don’t know any onesies which suit V-necks.
Shorts. Try to avoid board shorts (which are commonly worn casually where I live). If you need casual shorts, you can usually quite easily get polycotton drawstring shorts with a decent amount of give in the fabric. If those are too informal, I would consider knee-length belted shorts. If you’re solo, it’s okay and probably ideal for your shorts to have close-fitting legs. However, if you have a caregiver, try to make sure your shorts allow space for two fingers to touch your diaper.
Sizes. For a few specific clothing items in my wardrobe, I have the same item in several sizes because I know I’ll need it when wearing drastically different amounts of diapering. (The overalls I wear over ABU Preschool diapers are not the same overalls I wear over several layers of cloth diapers.)
Skirts. Whether you are a boy or a girl, if you have a caregiver then I would recommend getting skirts for home wear and pairing them with transparent, unlined plastic pants.
Pyjamas. Avoid two-piece pyjamas, boxers, and boxer-briefs. Ideally, wear a sleeper in winter and autumn, and sleep in just your diapers in spring and summer. Sleepers get their own section below because they have their own nuances.
Diapers
Cloth vs. disposable. Cloth diapers are a smaller overall investment, they’re comfier, and they’re more environmentally friendly; however, they’re generally bulkier and harder to move in, to the point that they’re difficult to hide, and washing them may be a challenge for the squeamish. Disposable diapers are a larger ongoing cost and will probably eventually become unavailable; however, they’re more convenient, they’re easier to get, they’re usually more discreet, and they don’t get bulkier as fast as cloth diapers.
Boosters. These are available for both cloth and disposable diapers. They go in the crotch of your diaper and provide extra absorbent material. There are waterproof and non-waterproof boosters. All cloth boosters are non-waterproof. Waterproof boosters usually have more absorbency overall, but can’t leak in a controlled fashion, so you can’t safely stack them. While boosters provide noticeably more absorbency, they do add noticeable bulk to even bulkier disposable diapers. They’re less noticeable in cloth diapers, partly because cloth diapers have an overall bulk advantage and partly because cloth boosters are usually thinner.
Daytime, overnight and more. Daytime diapers only need to last 4 to 6 hours usually - enough time that you’re not constantly changing them. Overnight diapers should last comfortably as long as you sleep (usually a minimum of 8 hours), so will often be considerably thicker and harder to hide. With regard to “more”, you should also figure out the most absorbent diapering setup you can come up with (maybe a heavily boosted overnight disposable diaper, maybe several layers of cloth diapers, etc.) for situations where you can’t change for a long time or where you know you will be voiding unusually heavily.
Swim diapers. Most swim diapers are containment briefs designed primarily for people who mess. There are a few wacky ideas such as the Netti CombiAqua, which is basically water plastic pants and will waterproof an ordinary disposable diaper if it’s cut low enough.
Training pants. Stay away from off-the-shelf pull-ups - they really are not recommended for anything resembling severe incontinence no matter how they are marketed. Even if you are going to toilet-train, I would recommend using proper pull-on cloth diapers at least for the first while. The important point is not having them be thin, it’s that they can be pulled up and down. Don’t use something with less absorbency than you need out of pride alone.
Diaper supplies
Diaper bag. Assess what you will actually need to put in it. A messenger bag won’t always do it and it can look ridiculous if you try. My needs have evolved to the point that I have a full-sized backpack for carrying my diaper supplies around in.
Baby lotion. I’m honestly not sure if this has any function for adults. I would welcome an answer.
Baby powder. The function of it is to stop diaper rash. I would recommend using it every time except when you’re changing out of a messy diaper.
Baby wipes. This is significantly better than dry or wet toilet paper for cleaning yourself.
Containment bags. Whether you’re throwing away disposable diapers, or storing cloth ones, you need something to contain them in. Especially if you’ve got cloth diapers, have a test run with a few different brands to make sure that your containment bags can comfortably close over your diapers. Not much use if they can’t.
Diaper rash cream. This is obviously to clear up diaper rash. I would, however, recommend using it as a preventative if you’re changing into a clean diaper from a messy one (this is obviously after completely cleaning yourself off).
Disposable gloves. It’s not always necessary to use these if you’re changing wet diapers. It /is/ if you’re changing messy diapers. I would also recommend getting long-cuff gloves if you can get them in large enough packs at a good price. This is because if you’re changing your own messy diapers it is surprisingly easy to end up getting stuff past the wristline of normal-cuff gloves, even if you’re being careful, and no matter how strong your stomach is, that sucks.
Spare clothes. A lot of people say ‘carry spare pants’. I would actually carry a full set of spare clothes: onesie, plastic pants, shirt, pants or skirt, socks, jacket if applicable. This is because even though you can traditionally only leak around the diaper area, particularly aggressive and nasty leaks can reach your socks, and if you’re wearing, for example, white socks, you really don’t want that stain. In addition, it’s quite easy to leak out of the top of your diaper and that can get on your shirt.
Spare diapers. Take more spare diapers than you need and think carefully about where you’re going - don’t just use the diapers you would use at home. If I know I’m going to have a long day and it might be followed by a night out, I don’t even bother packing daytime diapers - I just pack a few overnights and deal with the extra bulk.
Furniture and furniture protection
Changing mat. These don’t come into their own as much if you’re solo, because most of the time it’s just as easy to change your own diapers standing up. However, if you have a caregiver, it’s almost invariably much easier for them to change your diapers with you lying down, so you should have one of these. If you’re in the early stages of 24/7 and would like to change wherever you want in your house, these are also good for that.
Changing table. These are never strictly necessary. However, I think the psychological benefit is good. They are quite dear - a basic wooden changing table in adult size, with storage compartment, will set you back US$800 or so, but a basic one is all you need. It means you’re not changing on your bed (which feels temporary and ad hoc).
Mattress protector. I would recommend just getting a non-absorbent PVC fitted sheet. These can be very cheap - my first one cost $10. Make sure it’s in the right size - err on the large side if necessary - because if you use an undersized sheet it will tear at the seams. (I got a king single sheet, but my king single mattress is taller than usual, and my sheet got wrecked.) Keep in mind, PVC fitted sheets are usually white and will pick up dye from the normal fitted sheets over them.
Underpad. This is just a low-profile absorbent pad with a waterproof backing. I think it is actually ideal if you get a ton of these and put them on everything in your house that you regularly sit on - it allows you to walk around in just a t-shirt, diaper and plastic pants, which minimises the need for laundry. If you are sleeping at someone else’s house, these are also useful for making sure that you don’t leak on their sheets.
Plastic pants
Bikini cut vs. full cut vs. high waist. Honestly, bikini-cut pants are useless because they usually don’t cover the top of the diaper (which is a channel for leaks in its own right). I’ve seen promotional shots where they do, but I’ve tried it, and my diapers would have to be taped up so skewed that the top of my mons pubis was showing for that to happen. Full-cut pants are much closer to how disposable diapers are normally cut, which is how those diapers are meant to be worn. Full-cut plastic pants are good for most disposable diapers and some cloth diapers; surprisingly, despite their having been originally designed for cloth diapers, my plastic pants don’t reliably fit over cloth diapers in the same size. High-waist diapers are good for cloth diapers (although the waist ends up lower than advertised because of the extra bulk in the diaper area).
Covered vs. uncovered elastics. Real mixed bag with these ones. Uncovered elastics can sometimes be more comfortable, but they’re also absorbent and non-waterproof, meaning your leak protection is compromised. Covered elastics can be quite uncomfortable if incompetently made, but that isn’t often the case. I would generally recommend getting pants with covered elastics and suffering through it.
Lined vs. unlined. Lined plastic pants have usually a single layer of absorbent material inside them. I use these all the time despite the fact that they’re not available in my country, and the only supplier of them outside my country that I know of is Fetware. They’re really good for disposables, which generally don’t leak very much but do often leak a little; I think unlined plastic pants are still designed mostly with cloth diapers in mind, even though they’re marketed to disposable wearers as well. With cloth diapers, the lining wouldn’t make a lot of difference; with disposable diapers, it does. However, the lining is obviously invariably opaque, so if you have a caregiver, you should stick to unlined pants so they can see the wetness indicator during diaper checks.
Pull-on vs. snap-on. Snap-on pants are marketed as more convenient. Personally, I don’t see it that way - the easy air channel means it’s easier for smell to escape, especially if your diaper doesn’t have good odor control or if you’re messy. While you can put on and remove snap-on pants without taking your pants off, I don’t see it as that much additional convenience. Frankly, I think stick to pull-ons.
PVC vs polyurethane vs PUL vs rubber. PVC is what most plastic pants are made of - if they’re just advertised as ‘plastic’, that’s what they are. Polyurethane is, I believe, also known as EuroFlex - it’s way louder but apparently stronger. PUL feels very much like the polyester boardshorts are made out of; I’ve generally found that PUL is noisy and doesn’t have good odour control, but I only have access to one no-name kind of PUL pants where I live, so your mileage may vary. Rubber pants are surprisingly good despite having a reputation for being outmoded - I find them easy to wash, sturdy, and flexible to allow room for different amounts of diapering.
Sleepers
Feet vs. footless. I hate to be a negative Nancy here but I am going to recommend footless. If you need warm feet, you can put socks on; sleeper feet get dirty very fast even if you’re wearing them in an environment that you think is clean.
Closure patterns. I’ve owned sleepers which close several different ways. Here are the ones I’ve seen, in order of commonality.
Short I pattern. Sleeper opens at the front, usually with a zip, to the waist. This is the usual pattern and has the advantage of being easy to get.
Long I pattern. Sleeper opens at the front, usually with a zip, to one ankle. This is also relatively easy to get, and has the advantage that a caregiver can unzip the sleeper down to a level where diaper checks are possible.
Y pattern. Sleeper opens with snaps that run to the inner crotch, then down to both ankles. This is the best closure pattern for 24/7 wearers with caregivers, because the sleeper legs can easily be taken off the real legs and pushed up above the waist. It also allows for easier diaper checks because the sleeper can be opened from navel to mid-thigh without exposing the rest of the torso or risking sliding off the shoulder.
Reverse I pattern. Sleeper opens at the back, with a zip, to the waist or to the ankle. I honestly don’t see these very much at all. Their main uses seem to be freeing up the front of the sleeper for pockets for the wearer; also, the zip at the back is usually up to the neck and has a lock on it, making this a good sleeper for someone in a carer/charge relationship, at least psychologically if not practically.
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