when a pelican bites you there's no malice in their eyes. they aren't upset at you. they are just hungry and want to see if you fit in their mouths. and if you don't then it's no problem and everything is fine. and if you do then well i guess your fate is sealed but that's ok it's a beautiful animal

Okay, see, I knew about the capybara gif:
But I didn’t know that they really are That Dense, All The Time. The same way sharks will bite anything that might be a seal, just in case, these birdbrains will apparently test just about anything for beak size.
Behold a short list of bad ideas:

Human foot is not food, bird.

That is clearly bigger than your entire body.

...You do know what a bear cub is, right? Right??

That is a BICYCLE SEAT.

That’s it; arrested for bird crimes.