froody

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is…evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

cryoverkiltmilk

The spiritual successor to Miette

manicgoblinnightmarewoman

Might I also add

shydestinybread

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

abraxaswithaxes

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

rowantheexplorer

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from “i can has”. Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they’re talking about.

dualclock

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she’s been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

callmebliss

Can haz snackytreat

ladyshinga

(source)

dogsrulepeopledrool

Source

Oswald Mandus: Sir, that's my emotional support Machine that will turn everyone into pigs and destroy the world

White girls desperate to be interesting: I love pizza and the Office!

White guys desperate to be interesting: I’m racist

tumblr users: alright let me tell you a little something about history

tumblr users: *uncritically repeats absolutely absurd 500-year-old propaganda that has never been verified and is widely understood by historians to be either an exaggeration or a total fabrication*

other tumblr users: why didn’t they teach this in my school???

You, a pedestrian: when I travel to Europe, I’m so going to visit Rome, London, Venice, Paris, Barcelona, see the sights, taste the local cuisine, it’s going to be a dream come true!

Me, a man of refined taste: my first time in Europe will be a visit to the Ukraine, were I’ll first buy myself an old soviet hazmat suit and gas mask, and then hitchhike to Chernobyl while only eating all the canned food and bottled water the airline let me carry in my backpack.

halleywars

Biology Teacher: Now, I’m gonna draw the human body, haha, ok don’t tease me

Class: *giggling*

Biology Teacher: Hehe, come on guys I can’t even draw a stick man! Bear with me here!

Biology Teacher: *Draws an extremely detailed hentai cg from like 2004 Photobucket and colors it and everything*

prettynpunk69420

yeah, hi, um, what the fuck?

zaergax

Joker 2019

denkweisen

Me on my wedding day: you still like me right

Argel Tal, bleeding to death: i die… In the shadow.. Of great wings…

Erebus, throwing an entire bucket of KFC into the air: so you do.

mkrultra

Japan: gets cool, on model, quality figures for collectors

America/Europe: hhhhh.hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fukno ppo

human brain: you don’t need anymore dice

goblin brain: nnnngggg,,, plastic gems shinie,, prety,,,,make the clik-clak sound

during sex: whats wrong

her: nothing

me, pulling off the plague doctor mask: no somethings wrong i can tell

You: *makes 10 million ocs*

Me, an intellectual: *has the same 5 ocs but in different universes*

SOMA man: but are we still human if we upload our brains into machines??? where is the line between AI and true sentience drawn? I don't know if I can just "exist" like this, not quite human but not quite artificial...

me, half naked and already in the upload chair: simon will you please shut up and flip the switch, I am fifteen seconds away from cybertits and your existentialism is really harshing my vibe

A Cat: *is cat*

Me: Wow. Absolutely outstanding. Look at this. Please everyone please come see.

Morally grey: A character who does too much bad to be a good person, but does too much good to be a bad person.

Sympathetic villain: A character who is a bad person, but whose backstory/character arc makes you feel sorry for or sympathetic towards them.

Anti-hero: A character who does bad things to achieve a good goal.

Anti-villain: A character who does bad things to achieve a goal that they believe to be good, but is actually messed up.

Just plain annoying: A character who does bad things to achieve a bad goal but has one throwaway line about a hard childhood that is expected to put them into one of the aforementioned categories when in reality it just makes them annoying

Magneto: Are you interested in joining my team of mutants fighting for the end of mutant oppression? :)

A mutant: sure what’s it called?

Magneto: the brotherhood of evil mutants

Mutant: w

Mutant: why’s it called that

during sex: whats wrong

her: nothing

me, pulling off the plague doctor mask: no somethings wrong i can tell

tzeentch-cultist

The Emperor: magnimagic,

magnus: yes papa?

The Emperor: playing with the warp?

magnus: no papa

The Emperor: telling lies?

magnus: no papa

*council of nikea*

Ferrus Manus: Put your helmet on.

Fulgrim: No, it would mess up my hair.

warsmithbryant

WARHAMMER 40000 Ask

So I have been browsing Tumblr and yet to find an ask centered around 40K, so I made one. Enjoy!

1. Which Army do you play?

2. When did you start playing 40K?

3. Which Space Marine Chapter is your favorite?

4. Which Chaos Marine Chapter is your favorite?

5. Which Chaos God is your favorite?

6. Which is your favorite Craftworld?

7. Which is your favorite Ork Clan?

8. Which is your favorite Imperial Guard regiment?

9. Which is your favorite Tau Sept?

10. Which is your favorite Tyranid Hive fleet?

11. How much do you spend on models a month?

12. Do you prefer to play, build, or paint? Why?

13. How did you get interested in 40k?

14. Which is your favorite book from the Horus Heresy?

15. Which is your favorite book series from the Black Library?

16. Who is your favorite Author from the Horus Heresy?

17. Who is your favorite author from the Black Library?

18. If money was no object, which model would you get from the Forgeworld range?

19. Do you prefer the Games Workshop (GW) or Forgeworld models?

20. What is your favorite model from GW and Forgeworld?

21. Do you prefer to buy your models from GW or Ebay?

22. What is the most expensive model you have built?

23. Which of your models are you the proudest of? (Pictures please)

24. What are your thoughts on 7th edition rules?

25. Which edition of the rules do you prefer?

26. Do like to paint your own models or prefer to commission someone to paint them for you?

27. Ever won a painting competition?

28. Ever been to Games Day?

29. Ever visited GW HQ?

30. Do you attend a local gaming club?

31. How big is your Army point wise?

32. What is the most successful unit in your army?

33. Who is your favorite Primarch?

34. Would you ever cosplay a 40K character?

35. Who is your favorite character from the 40K universe?

36. Which is your favorite 40K Computer Game?

37. What are your thoughts on third party models?

38. Have you ever been told off in a GW store? What for?

39. What is the biggest game you have played?

40. How big is your bits box?

41. How do you paint your models?

42. Would you ever do commission work?

43. What are your views on 3D printing models and parts?

44. Do you do conversions on your models?

45. Which army do you believe needs a new codex and model revamp?

46. Do you believe that GW go over the top when it comes to their content being used by the fans?

47. How do you transport your models?

48. What is your worst dice roll?

49. Do you use GW equipment? i.e. tape measure, dice, templates…..

50. Do you Role Play in the 40K universe? Who are your OC’s?

51. What other systems do you play from the 40K universe? i.e. Inquisitor, Epic, Necromunder, etc..

52. What was the last model you finished?

53. What is your favorite 40K meme?

54. Any 40K related question?

If you can think of any more questions, just add them on.