well shit, this sucks

     My paraphilias were about 40% of the two fundamental issues* which killed my first marriage*, and they appear to be 90% of what is killing my second.

     Selfishness is what it comes down to.  I can’t hang with an ungrateful leech. :(

    ____________________________________________ * having kids was the other 60%


    Frankincense, Myrrh... I feel like a king! An old, broken down, arthritic king who spent the night in a manger...

    Seriously tho, these things are the shiznit for aches and pains. Leave it on for 24 hrs if you can or at least overnight or for a day (ie; 12 hours).


    Last night, I cut one into two strips and wrapped them around my wrists because the tendons were all jacked up. Covered them with Kinesio Tape so they’d stay through all my thrashing and turning during the night.

    This morning my wrists were almost entirely pain and inflammation free.

    The Three Wise Men were healers at a time when the few medicines known were as precious as gold.


    Whatever happened with your illness situation? You sounded like you were at Death's door.

    I was too sick to work. Wasn’t at death’s door, however, I have had pneumonia/lung infections four times in my life so far (I am in my 50s) and I’ve had doctors tell me that another one at my age could be deadly. And that was before COVID, talking about ordinary lung infections. I have the kind of “strong immune response” which, counter-intuitively, has been killing people when they contract COVID because of a phenomenon called the “cytokine storm”. So I’m essentially at high risk for COVID in three different ways.

    We don’t have any way of knowing what I had. Might have been a strain of influenza which wasn’t covered by the flu shot I received. Might have been a norovirus. Might even have been COVID! (seems unlikely, but rationally it cannot be excluded)

    Worse: my wife is also at high risk for similar and even worse reasons. Infections of any kind are a really big deal to people with bone implants, and she has several. COVID is a big deal for people with asthma, and she has it strongly - experienced daily symptoms even when she isn’t sick. And she is my age as well, and has a history of lung infections.

    It would suck if I got infected and carried the infection (”vectored” it) to my wife and made her sick.

    So naturally I am now working a shit job in retail, where I get the maximum exposure to diseased pariahs who won’t wear masks. >_<

    Those customers are literally saying, “I don’t give a damn if I infect you and you die.”

    Such people’s cavalier attitude toward the health of me, my co-workers, and the other customers in the store makes me see red; it makes me want to grab the nearest axe-handle or three foot pipe nipple and beat the living shit out of them.

    And of course, since I’m not allowed to do that, I come home from work five days a week in a very poor frame of mind.

    The crazy thing is, it’s possibly my wife and actually had COVID very early on - we both got quick sick for a while with something - but we dont know, and we can’t afford to pay for the test which - might - reveal whether we have had it, but then again it might not. >_<

    Furthermore, there is growing evidence that merely having been infected or gotten sick with COVID may not actually confer any immunity, or it may confer only limited immunity, so even if we did contract it, there’s no guarantee we might not get sick with it again.

    So until the promised and much-hailed vaccines make their appearance and become available to us broke-ass hoi polloi in the streets, we are forced to behave as if we have not had it, just in case we haven’t, because this is actually a real-world life-or-death situation which could kill us.

    Forty-five percent of our population believed our president when he said it was a hoax. So we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.

    PMs enabled again

     I had set the blog to only accept PMs from Tumlbrs I follow, because some randos were being pests, but I’ve opened it up again... for now.

     If people are pests again, then I guess we just won’t be able to have conversations. Don’t blame me, blame the assholes who just want to watch the world burn.

    check your privilege

     “It’s better to be ugly and interesting than beautiful and boring” - ugly and interesting people

    “it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” - people who have lost a lover

    “a penny saved is a penny earned” - people who never worked a day in their lives

    broken and breaking

     This time of year sucks.  Both my wife and I have a lot of awful anniversaries in November and December;

  • I was home-invaded in December of 1989 - that’s when it started
  • a brother & a sister died 11 months apart in Nov. & Dec.
  • my mother-in-law died in November
  • I was car-jacked at gun-point in November
  • another very close friend died in December
  • ...plus some Very Bad Events I can’t go into detail on.

     Now, all my shit is breaking: both my workshop / garage air compressor and the “backup” portable air tool compressor (which I had to buy in Illinois to do work on my mother’s hoarding house, while we were still trying to save it), the regulators (the most expensive part) for my oxy-fuel torch rig, the household vacuum cleaner, my windows computer I use for CAD / engineering work, SDR / amateur radio, and games...

     I was already depressed.  I don’t need this.  I can’t afford this.  We don’t have money any more, because I lost my professional job and I was forced to return to working retail in a hardware store and worse - my wife isn’t able to work right now both because she is recovering from back surgery and Ze Virus has shut down her acupuncture practice.

     She’s going to try teaching one class remotely, as an experiment* but that can’t come close to replacing the income she had from her private practice plus teaching nearly full time.  We’re getting old, we have health problems. Money is tight.

    Life sucks and then you die.

    _________________________________________________________ *which is already a disaster since her school hasn’t got their shit together WRT IT and communications issues