What’s wrong?

“I feel weak… am I getting shorter?”

How tall are you?

“I’m uhh…. wait… Why did you call me a dumb stoner a second ago? I’m nothing like one.”

What are you talking about Jack? You’re telling me you’re really not a stoner?

“I’m not Jack, I’m—,” 

You’re who?


Jack you’re so high right now. You’re the laziest, most stupid stoner I’ve seen roaming the streets in a long time. We’ve all seen your type… When waking up all you do each morning is lay in bed and touch yourself, and take hits from your many bongs. 

“No– I don’t… do that… I’m..”

Jack, you always do that. It’s all you think about doing. Even right now you’re hard and aching to touch yourself, aren’t you?

“I- uhh.”

Try to think about real life shit… you can’t, can you? Your dick keeps interrupting. Oh, and how do you even spell the word ‘rite?’ Is it ‘righte?’ Fuck you can’t even remember. Just think about your stoner dick man. 

Hey I like that tattoo by the way, I like how it’s filled in green. 

“Fuck dude im so horny ur rite.”

Well, get strokin’ man don’t wait for me! You love playing with that dumb stoner dick all the time. Stroke that thin 7-incher… up and down, up and down, you love pot and you love strokin’ all day long.

“Uhnnnn dude. up—- up and down, up and down.”

Up and down. Don’t bother cleaning up your spunk. Your room is a mess anyway.