types of nap, ranked by me (an experienced napper)

    <>the siesta: the oldest and most reliable form of nap! you go to sleep around noon. you wake up an hour or two later feeling well-rested and prepared to face the rest of the day. this is the pinnacle of nap perfection. <>10/10

    <>the businessman’s nap: you have a limited amount of time on your hands, so you schedule a nap into your packed timetable and set an alarm. you spend half the duration of the nap worrying that you’re wasting valuable nap time by lying awake, and the other half sunk into a torpor so deep that when your alarm rings, it takes you a good few minutes to remember your own name. once you’ve splashed some cold water on your face you feel much be<>tter. 7/10

    <>EW STICKY: you were cold at first, so you piled on the blankets and wriggled into your favourite comfy sweater. this was nice. now you are awake and trapped in a horrible sweaty gordian knot of your own devising. this is not nice. when you peel off the sweater you find to your horror that you have left an actual damp patch behind on the bed, like some sort of giant dead fish that can’t stop leaking its gross fish juice everywhere<>. 5/10 it was at least cosy to start with

    <>the interrupted nap: someone barges into your room and starts talking to you. “wtsfhggl?” you enquire. they give you a judgemental look, and ask why you are sleeping in the middle of the day. “ghhfshsxkls,” you reply, graciously. they tell you to get up. you get up. the rest of the day feels like an extension of whatever dream you are having before you were disturbed. you boil with quiet resentment and<> shame. 4/10

    <>the unsuccessful nap: you are tired. you want to take a nap. you lie down. you wait. you wait. time moves sluggishly forwards. you wait. your brain feels like a cup of mushy porridge but your eyes refuse to close. the noise of your fan is infuriating. you wait. eventually, you are forced to accept that this nap is simply not going to happen, and you have wasted 45 minutes doing absolutely nothing. god fucking dammit.<>2/10

    <>the handy-dandy fast-forward button: you really just want this day to be over as soon as possible, and the best way you can think of to do that is to take a nap. you only meant to sleep for an hour, but when you wake up it is already evening. the day is over. you glean no satisfaction from this. you kill time until you feel justified in going back to bed again, and spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, unable to sink back into the blissful stupor from which you so recently emerged. <>0/10

    <>The Unpleasantness: when you fall asleep, it is dark. when you awaken, it is light. this is the natural order of sleep, but perverted into a form that is frightening and wrong. you feel deeply unsettled and do not know why. are you sick? what does time mean? what does anything mean? maximum despair. <>-1000/10.

    story of my life anthem of my soul

    bless

    another absolutely fantastic trope is when a scifi/fantasy character calls the oblivious object of their affections a term of endearment in their fictional first language during an emotional moment which they refuse to translate, and their love interest assumes due to the unresolved sexual tension fuelled rivalry aspect of their relationship that it's an insult, only to have their world absolutely rocked to its core when they finally manage to get a translation and realize that the other person has been pining for them the entire goddamn time

    like,

    <>character a: it's just, i try so hard but i honestly think [character b] hates me. i mean, they called me a [untranslated word or phrase] a few weeks ago, and they've hardly looked, let alone spoken to me since then :(

    <>person they're talking to: "[untranslated word or phrase]"? are you sure?

    <>character a: ...i think so. why?

    <>person they're talking to: hmm. yeah. well that's uh. well it's not an insult. that's a declaration of love.

    <>character a: w

    <>character a: what

    okay but what if like,

    character a is learning character b’s language and at some point character b calls them [untranslated word or phrase] and character a mishears and thinks oh yes it must be [really bad insult that sounds almost exactly like [untranslated word or phrase]] and then at some point it comes up with character b and it’s like

    <>character a: but you called me [thing they thought character b said]! that’s a really bad insult! i can’t believe i’m having to explain your own language to you!

    <>character b: no! i called you [untranslated word or phrase]! who the [local underworld] did you learn my language from!

    <>character a: THAT IS THE SAME THING THOSE THINGS SOUND EXACTLY THE SAME

    <>character b: ... NO

    and then character a asks what [untranslated word or phrase] actually means and character b’s like you know what nevermind and character a asks [person who knows character b’s language better than character a] and that person’s like

    THE best. I am a simple minded person. what if it’s just a declaration of love, not mistaken for an insult

    A new papercraft inspired by The Night Circus, featured as a blanket add-on and print item in the Gillywick Goods Night Circus Halloween Box!
    🔥
    I only just recently finished listening to this book, and like many, was pulled in to its magicry and magnificence. It was really easy to snatch up symbolisms for this piece - the storytelling was just overflowing with them. Easily one of the funnest papercraft designs I had the pleasure to build.
    ❄️
    Who’s excited for #TheStarlessSea in a few days!? I’m super stoked with the audiobook’s casting - can’t wait to dive in!

    I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(

    hnn I WANT IT SO BAD

    on closer inspection, it makes a lot of really obnoxious noises and is also Too Expensive. BUT FEAR NOT I found this slightly smaller dude wedged in the back!

    IT HAS BITE ACTION, AND THAT’S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS

    now we enter the testing phase

    yup. looks good.

    Extreme Chompin T-Rex says IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

    Can we take a moment to appreciate that we can use this as a rosetta stone to say “EXTREME CHOMPIN’ “ in four languages?

    OH SHIT YOU’RE RIGHT, let me check the garbage to see if it’s still there! hopefully I didn’t destroy it in my excitement

    *roar sound effect*

    IMPORTANT UPDATE:

    update update: I re-sized her collar and found a bag of toy bones at the craft store. I haven’t put this much effort into a non-school thing since my last job search, help

    (secret bonus: the other side of her tag)

    There’s more!

    I love.

    I saw that people are reblogging the thread again, so I thought I’d give you all an update on how Wexter is doing!

    (just fine)

    Wexter And The Case Of Her Continuing Marvelously Naughty Garden Adventures

    brain-cells-for-sale

    OP and Wexter can break all my toes and I would still send a thank you card

    Wexter says SHE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING (but she might chew your ankles a little bit maybe)

    so it’s come to my attention that at some point this weekend Wexter blew past 100,000 notes, and I for one think that’s very cash money of her.

    it’s been a few weeks, I suppose we should check up on the AHSGSHGAFB?!

    ajdhf.

    well that’s just,,,

    <>REXCELLENT<>

    op update: how’s wexter doing????

    pretty good

    Oh no! If she stays in the snow she’ll be cold!

    she has a scarf now so it’s fine