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Last update
2021-05-15 00:00:51

    Cindy: Hey… can I be a Jew?

    Rabbi: No.

    Cindy: Can Ibe a Jew?

    Rabbi: No.

    Cindy: Can I be a Jew?

    Rabbi: You really want this? Sincerely? Not ‘cause this one’s trying to blackmail me for something stupid when I was 19 or for broccoli with your dinner? What is this for you?

    Cindy:Honestly, I think I found my people. I was raised in a church where I was told to believe and pray. And if I was bad, I’d go to hell. And if I was good, I’d go to heaven. And if I’d ask Jesus, he’d forgive me and that was that. And here y’all are sayin’ ain’t no hell. Ain’t sure about heaven. And if you do something wrong, you got to figure it out yourself. And as far as God’s concerned, it’s your job to keep asking questions and to keep learning and to keep arguing. It’s like a verb. It’s like … you do God. And that’s a lot of work, but I think I’m in, as least as far as I can see it. I mean, maybe I’ll learn more and say fuck the whole thing, I mean, but I wanna learn more, and I think I gotta be in it to do that. You know… Does that make sense? Shit, did I just talk myself out of it?

    Rabbi: Ask me again.

    Cindy: Can I be a Jew?

    Rabbi: Yes.


    I cried so hard during this scene.


    First of all, this is beautiful.

    Second of all, as a contextual note, the rabbi said no for a reason. In Jewish conversion, one of the steps is that you must be discouraged at least three times. This comes from the story of Ruth, where Naomi told her not to follow her back to the Jewish tribe three times before giving in.

    Third of all, this is beautiful.


    Adrienne KILLED it in those scenes. I wept with her!

    “It’s like a verb.” She wants to work on her faith continuously and that was gorgeous and so honest.


    THIS WAS SO IMPORTANT DO U UNDERSTAND. We aren’t a people who actively convert people. You’ll never see a Jewish person try to convert you. We believe in everyone’s right to believe what they want. But it was so nice to see someone who wasn’t raised in it be able to see value in my faith. I have never seen anything like that on tv before


    Not only that?? Its one of the only times I’ve ever seen Judaism The Faith and Religion ever actually articulated on screen. What do we believe? We believe that You Choose To Do God. Thats why we’re the Chosen People - because we Chose to Opt In To Doing God this particular way. I have never in my life before seen any form of media EVER express what Jews ACTUALLY BELIEVE ABOUT THE UNIVERSE out loud but OITNB did. And when people ask me? I always throw them here. Because it’s dead on. You do God (Jewishly) and you have to choose it. That’s what we believe. That’s it. Thats the entire thing. And this is the only time we have EVER had ANY representation and I will cherish it always. And for those of you who didn’t see the show? She got to bathe in a mikvah equivalent and convert fully so yes, Cindy is as Jewish as the whitest Ashkenazi Jew. More, because according to the sages, the convert is to be praised for their choice and their dedication. And as such, any children she has will be Jewish too. <3 Love for Cindy. Love to any religious Jews out there who feel unseen in media (you’re right, we aren’t seen). Love for any converts out there who don’t feel Jewish enough (you are - no matter what branch you converted in). Extra love for all my Jews of Color (no addendum - just love to you all period). Stay strong out there yall. Write yourselves into some stories and talk about our faith okay? We deserve to be seen and known, even if we aren’t converting. Demystification is part of the fight against antisemitism.


    For the people who are out there “fighting the good fight” and “trying to make fandom a better place,” I have two important questions for you:

    1. Is the author dead? x

    2. Is your baby in the bathwater? x

    What do I mean by those things? Let’s start with #1. The Death of the Author is a type of literary criticism, the extreme cliff notes version of which is that art exists outside of the creator’s life, personal background, and even intentions. I’m using it slightly differently than Barthes intended, but that’s okay, because the author is dead and I’m interpreting his work through my own lens.

    In fandom, the author is dead. In fact, the author was never alive in the first place, not really. The author has only ever been the idea of a person, because unlike published fiction, the only thing we know about a fanfic author is that which they choose to tell us about themselves.

    Why is that important?

    Because it might not be true. Hell, that happens in real life with published authors, who have SSN’s on file with their publishers, who pay taxes on the works they create and have researchable pasts. If the author of A Million Little Pieces could fake everything, why can’t I? Why can’t you? Why can’t the writer of your favorite fic in the whole wide world?

    Stop me if you’ve heard this before: “you can only write about [sensitive subject] if [sensitive subject] has happened to you personally, otherwise you’re a disgusting monster that deserves to die!!” Or maybe “you can only write [x racial or ethnic group] characters if you’re [x racial or ethnic group] otherwise you’re racist/fetishizing/colonizing!”

    You can play this game with any sensitive subject you can come up with. I’ve seen them all before, on a sliding scale of slightly chastising to literal death threats.

    Now, I could tell you that I’m a white-passing Latina whose grandmother was an anchor baby. I could tell you that I speak only English because my family never taught me to speak Spanish, something which I’ve been told is common in the Cuban community, though I only know my own lived experience. I could tell you that I’m mostly neurotypical. I could tell you that I’m covered in surgical scars. I could tell you lots of things.

    Are any of these true? Maybe! I could tell you that my brother has severe mental development problems, so uncommon that they’ve never been properly diagnosed, and that he will live the rest of his life in a group home with 24-hour care. Is that true? Am I allowed to write about families struggling with America’s piss-poor services for the handicapped now?

    Am I allowed to write about being Cuban? After all, I did just say that I’m Cuban. But is it true? Can I instead write a character that’s Panamanian? Maybe I really am Panamanian, not Cuban. Maybe I’m both. Maybe I’m neither. Maybe I’m really French Canadian. Should we require people to post regular selfies? I can’t count the number of times I’ve had someone come up to me speaking Arabic, and I’ve been told that I look Syrian. What’s stopping me from making a blog that claims that I am Syrian? Can you even really tell someone’s race and ethnicity from a photo?

    Am I allowed to write about being a teenager? Am I allowed to write about being a college student? Am I allowed to write about being an “adulty” adult? Can I write a character who’s 40? 50? 60? How old am I?

    All of this is to say: you can’t base what someone is or is not “allowed” to write about on a background that may or may not be real. No matter how good your intentions. And I get it - this usually comes from a place of well-meaning. You’re trying to protect marginalized groups by stopping privileged people from trampling all over experiences that they haven’t suffered. I get that. It’s a very noble thought. But you can’t require a background check for every fic that you don’t like.

    If you say “you can only write about rape if you’re a rape victim,” then one of three things will happen:

    Real survivors will have to supply intimate details of their own violations to prevent harassment

    Real survivors will refuse to engage and will then have to deal with death threats and people telling them to kill themselves for daring to write about their own experiences

    People who aren’t survivors will say “yeah sure this happened to me” just to get people to shut up

    Has that helped anyone? I mean really - anyone??

    So now let’s get to point #2: is your baby in the bathwater?

    If your intention is to protect marginalized people from being trampled upon, stop and assess if your boot is the one that’s now stamping on their face. Find your baby! Is your baby in the bathwater? Which is to say: find the goal that you’re advocating for. Now assess. Are you making the problem worse for the people you’re trying to protect? Does that rape victim really feel better, now that you’ve harassed and stalked them in the name of making rape victims feel safe?

    Let’s say you read a fic that contains explicit sex between a 16 year old and a 17 year old. Is this okay? Would it be okay if the writer was 15? 16? 17? Should teenagers be barred from writing about their own lives, and should teenagers be banned from exploring sexuality in a fictional bubble, instead of hookup culture? Is it okay for a 20 year old to write about their experiences as a teenager? Is it okay for a 20 year old to write about being raped at a party as a teenager? Is it okay for a 30 year old? How about a 40 year old? Is it okay so long as it isn’t titillating? Is it okay if taking control of the narrative allows the writer to re-conceptualize their trauma as something they have control over? Is it okay if their therapist told them that writing is a safe creative outlet?

    Is your author dead?

    Is your baby in the bathwater?

    Now let’s take a hardline approach: no fanfiction with characters who are under 18 years old. None. Is the 16 year old who really loves Harry Potter and wants to read/write about characters their own age better off? Should they be banned from writing? Should they be forced to exclusively read and write (adult) experiences that they haven’t lived? Will they write about teens anyway? Should they have to share it in secret? Should 16 year olds be ashamed of themselves? Should we just throw in with the evangelicals and say that the only answer is abstinence, both real and fictional?

    Let’s say that no rape is allowed in fiction, at all. None. What happens to all the hurt/comfort fics where a character is raped and then receives the support and love that they deserve, slowly heal, and by the end have found themselves again? Are you helping rape victims by banning these stories? Are you helping rape victims by stripping their agency away, by telling them that their wants and their consent doesn’t matter?

    Is your baby in the bathwater?

    Fandom is currently being split in two: on one side, the people who want to make fandom a “safer” place by any means necessary, even if that means throwing out all of the marginalized groups they say they want to protect - and on the other, people who are saying “if you throw out that bathwater, you’re throwing the baby out too.”

    The whole point of fandom is to be able to explore all kinds of ideas from the safety and comfort of a computer screen. You can read/write things that fascinate you, disgust you, titillate you, or make your heart feel warm. This is true of all fiction. People who want to read about rape and incest and extreme violence and torture can go pick up a copy of Game of Thrones from the bookstore whenever they want. Sanitizing fandom just means holding a community of people who are primarily not male, not straight, not cis, or some combination of those three, to higher and stricter standards than straight white cis male authors and creators all over the world.

    There is nothing you can find on AO3 that you can’t find in a bookstore. Any teenager can go check out Lolita, or ASOIAF, or Flowers in the Attic, or Stephen King’s It, or Speak, or hundreds of other books that have adult themes or gratuitous violence or graphic sex. The difference is that AO3 has warnings and tags and allows people to interact only with the types of work that they want to, and allows people to curate their experiences.

    Are these themes eligible to be explored, but only in the setting of something produced/published? Books, movies, television, studio art, music - all of these fields have huge barriers to entry, and they’re largely controlled by wealthy cishet white men. Is it better to say that only those who have the right connections to “make it” in these industries should be allowed to explore violence or sexuality or any other so-called “adult” theme?

    Does banning women from writing MLM erotica make fan culture a better place?

    Does banning queer people from writing about queer experiences make fan culture a better place?

    Is M/M fic okay, but only if the author is male? What if he’s a transman? What if they’re NB? Who should get to draw those lines? Should TERFs get a vote? What if the author is a woman who feels more comfortable writing from a male character’s perspective because she’s grown up with male stories her whole life, or because she identifies more with male characters? What about all the transmen who discovered themselves, in part, by writing fanfiction, and realized that their desires to write male characters stemmed from something they hadn’t yet realized about themselves?

    How can we ever be sure that the author is who they say they are?

    Who is allowed to write these stories? How do we enforce it?

    Is it better for none of these stories to ever exist at all?

    Have you killed your author?

    Have you thrown out your baby with the bathwater?


    this post is AMAZING.


    gonna post a controversial take alright are y’all ready??

    actually typing out emoticons like XD and :D and :V never should have gone out of fashion and you can pry them out of my cold dead hands okay I know emojis are fun but THEY DON’T CAPTURE THE EMOTION IN THE SAME WAY

    so like

    …yeah that was basically it, thanks for reading


    also websites that  automatically replace your typed out <3 and :D with emojis upon sending them are a Danger To Everything That’s Good In The World


    bring back nose smilies :-)


    There is no emoji that captures what I mean by :P (I do NOT mean “hur hur goofy-ass face!”) and the one for :^/ is not great. And lest we forget, 🤷🏻‍♀️ is absolutely inadequate compared to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


    Faces no emoji has ever managed to capture, imo:











    I am too old to stop using XD


    i have never yet found an emoji that fully captures the shifty energy of: 




    Oh man, I’ve missed O.o

    Especially alternating to really capture how boggled you are.





    you know what’s really genuinely unsettling? the degree to which men fucking do not want to sympathize with/be interested in women.

    male audiences will happily watch a dozen superhero shows, but then something like Agent Carter or Supergirl turn up and they’re panned from the first trailer and have to struggle for ratings. male audiences will watch countless installments of a franchise as long as it’s about men doing man things but the second a character like Rey or Furiosa or god forbid four entire female Ghostbusters steps up and takes a position of prominence it’s “pandering sjw bullshit”.

    it’s not pandering. men just aggressively don’t want to have to be invested in a woman’s narrative and it’s really gross.


    anyway re: everyone telling me to “Stop making this a gender thing” or some variation on that

    this isn’t like… an opinion I’m pulling out of my ass here? this starts where earlier than tv shows and hollywood blockbusters, when all the kids in a class are reading Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or Eragon o Lord of the Rings or Maze Runner or whatever the hip book is right now. the books like that, the ones that become popular reading, are overwhelmingly about male leads, because male is still considered the default. 

    there’s a split in YA literature, between books that are “for everyone” and “for girls”, and that’s honestly the entire issue in a tiny little box right there. stories about men are supposed to be accessible for everyone, but stories about girls are seen as 1.) inherently for women and 2.) something that only women will care about.

    men grow up in a society that doesn’t make them go out of their way to get into the heads of women and empathize with then. historically it’s been very easy for men to not engage with female-led media if they don’t want to, whereas (like someone else commented on this post) girls and women have had very little choice in the past because everything was about men. we didn’t even question it.

    and now the women are arriving in mainstream media in ways that say they’re important and they matter and


    small (or sometimes not so small) but loud-enough-to-be-acknowledged groups of men lose. their. shit.

    because they think there’s something inherently Not For Them about a woman’s story, and they never learned how to deal with it.

    (also once again, because  LOT of ya’ll don’t seem to get this here: I’m trying to talk about knee-jerk reactions to female-centered works - often before they even come out. not whether or not you personally thought [x show or movie] was good. ya feel?)


    i don’t think i’ve ever read a single post that i’ve agreed with so totally and so immediately and here’s why:

    i love books, right? and from the ages of about 11-15 i was insanely invested in teenage/ya fantasy and sci-fi. harry potter, percy jackson, all of the books op listed above- and one of the things that made those books so great was that you could have a conversation about them with anyone! a lot of the guys in my class also loved this type of genre and i’d often talk about books with them (even my own brother has read all of the books listed above) we’d have long, interesting conversations about these books and it was great.

    but then i’d mention something about the hunger games, or the divergent series, or uglies, the raven cycle, mara dyer, the mortal instruments, the selection, etc. and the response would always be the same: either ‘i haven’t read it’ or ‘i couldn’t get into it’ or ‘it doesn’t seem like my type of thing’

    even outside of the ya genre, looking at something like contemporary fiction or whatever- do you know how many guys will talk endlessly about the great gatsby or catcher in the rye or any other male-centric novel? but when you bring up something as influential as pride and prejudice or jane eyre or practically /anything/ written by/focused around a woman- you get the same responses as before

    society has made it so that women have no choice whether to engage with male-centric stories or not: from children, a big portion of the media we consume focuses on the male perspective and like,,, that’s not necessarily a bad thing /in itself/- the bad thing is that it doesn’t work both ways and it’s not an even split. whereas young girls are surrounded by and expected to empathise with films/books/media concerning men, it’s not the same for young boys: they have narratives that either focus entirely or largely around them. 

    women have no trouble consuming media that focuses on a male narrative because it’s been labelled as the default, the ‘normal’- whereas men struggle to watch/read anything that doesn’t focus around them because they’ve never /had/ to.


    Do any other american high schoolers have intense survivor’s guilt and trauma with school shootings even though they weren’t at your school?


    Like. A laser tag place opened geared towards teenagers and it got no business, we tried to enjoy it but when someone pointed a laser machine gun at me and I instinctively dropped behind the nearest wall and reached to turn off my phone I cried, I wasn’t the only one. The announcements system turns on at an unexpected time and everyone holds their breath until they say something besides “locks, lights, out of sight,” nobody even jokingly pops chip bags anymore, a door slammed really loud during a class change and everyone dropped and ran. Everyone cries during drills, even the toughest ranch kids. Every drill comes with a full day of teachers crying and telling us that they love us all so much and will die for us, and every kid in every class looking around wondering who would I die for? Who would die for me? You walk to the bathroom and wonder every second if it happens right now, where will I go? You test supply closet doors to see which ones are unlocked, you memorize which furniture in the teachers’ lounge your English teacher says is light enough to barricade a door with. The fire alarm goes off and nobody moves, instead you wait for gunshots—it a trap? You stand with a group of freshmen and realize that you’re the oldest, you know you’ll have to die for them. You forget your ID tag and worry that now the police won’t be able to tell your parents if you’re safe, or not safe. Your stats teacher has a baseball bat by the door, your math teacher keeps a stapler under each desk to throw, your drama teacher asks who will be willing to stand by the non-locking door with the Shakespearean swords. Your yearbook teacher tells you don’t worry about breaking a camera because you heard about the kids who died holding them. You don’t use the bathroom during classes because you don’t want to be the only target to shoot at. You keep your phone on silent 24/7 because you worry the one time you forget will be when you get your whole US History class killed. You have a snap saved with your class schedule and school and full name to send in an instant to your internet friends so they know if you were on that wing, you have a note saved with the things you want your mom to know and the things you’re sorry for. At the age of 12 I was told I needed to know who I would die for and that it was okay if it was nobody, that was my decision to make. School shootings control us more than adults and non-Americans could possibly imagine and nobody moves to change anything unless we’re actively screaming for it. Have you considered we’re too scared?


    The absolute fuck. The fuck did I just read. This sounds like dystopian fiction. The fucking fuck.


    It isn’t. This is 100% the reality of all American children - not the ones that live in bad neighborhoods, not the ones that make bad choices, ALL OF THEM.

    Welcome to America.


    This reminds me of a discussion we had in one of my classes the other day-

    My professor was describing how everyone from her generation had the same nightmare of a nuke going off. In they dream they all saw the same mushroom cloud and everything. She said that she didn’t think my generation had a dream like that; one that everyone shared and had

    For a while none of us could disagree with her. Until this popped up. I raised my hand and mentioned that everyone I knew had an active shooter dream at one point or another. And Every. Single. Person. Nodded. All of us had that dream. All of us.

    Pretty telling, huh?


    The mere notion that highschool children might have survivor’s guilt is sickening


    No one - no teacher should have to consider that they’d die on the job to protect students. No student should have to pick and choose who they’d die for.

    America has done their children a huge disservice and that you haven’t attempted to overthrow every government yet shows just how much terrible power they hold over you all.


    1. Active shooter drills DO NOT WORK. Period. They do not reduce the number of shooting deaths. They do nothing but traumatize children and staff. Demand that your schools district end them.

    2. Add to this the number of kids for whom non-school shootings and gun deaths are a daily reality.


    the “mistake” was the public finding out about it, and not agreeing with them :U


    Immoral people cannot be trusted when they are "playing God." For some a historical perspective may be necessary. Some people believe in eugenics. It is important to know that history. When the elites think that you are inferior to them, they do not think your life has value, at any stage. This is what you may have heard of as the "slippery slope." Do not believe that there are no side effects to the vaccine including all of these:






    For FUCK's sake. This is a post about eugenics against disabled people, you absolute arse. It's not a place for the INCREDIBLY ABLEIST FUCKING ANTIVAXX MOVEMENT.

    Anyway, the Tories have been actively practicing eugenics against the disabled community since 2010. They will keep going until they are stopped. They will never stop of their own accord.

    This happening the first time was not a surprise to us, and it happening again isn't either. They have known for a decade they were killing us. It's not an accident. This is by design.


    At my last company, one day someone in accounting approached me at lunch and quietly told me I need to ask for a raise because I was way underpaid.

    They gave me a number to shoot for.  It was about twice than what I had been making at the time.

    So I went online, did some research, found some figures backing up my claim, put it all together and went to my boss.

    I got what I asked for.

    If it hadn’t been for that person in accounting telling me I was way underpaid, I’d have never known.  I went from barely scraping by to being able to have a savings account and getting all my debts paid thanks to them.

    You should at least check sites like salary.com to start the process of seeing what you should be making.


    Because this is crucially important


    Except for the fact that 90% of the time you are under contract not to talk about your salary otherwise the company can sue you. Every job I’ve had I’ve had to sign that I won’t discuss my pay with other employees otherwise my employment is terminated and the company will take legal action. 


    If you scrolled right past this - GO THE FUCK BACK UP - this is a huge PSA

    jfc I’ll be having some words with some folks


    Ways to get Jehovah’s Witnesses to fuck off (as written by a former Jehovah’s Witness)

  • Ask to be put on the Do Not Call list. If you think it’s necessary, ask to watch them get out the territory card and write it down, but realistically, Witnesses in my experience are pretty good about this and the only time it won’t be honored is if someone forgets to check your address or if it’s been like 10+ years
  • Tell them you are an apostate. They are not allowed to speak to apostates at all, ever, but especially in regards to their beliefs. They aren’t supposed to go to places/events where they know apostates will be
  • Argue with them. Jehovah’s Witnesses are instructed to end the conversation and leave if it becomes clear that someone wants to debate rather than just passively learn and accept that they were wrong before. This might get you put on the DNC list without even asking
  • DO NOT answer the door naked. You wouldn’t think this needs said, but intentionally flashing people is sexual harassment, and Jehovah’s Witnesses frequently preach with children— both as a training thing and because people are more likely to be receptive. They say every JW who’s preached long-term has gotten a naked householder at least once. Do not do this
  • DO NOT unleash your dogs in the yard. First off, your dogs aren’t as mean as you think they are lol. Second off, almost every JW has been dealing with giant jumpy dogs— again— since they were children. Letting loose your dogs will get their dress clothes muddy, possibly tear them, and maybe scare some children/a few adults who will simply pass the door to someone else. It will also make every other dog in the neighborhood start barking. This isn’t helping you or anyone else
  • DO NOT call the police. Evangelizing is fully legal in the United States and JWs are not soliciting anything. Some areas make Witnesses get permits to preach, but that’s it. One time an elder in my congregation had people raise their hands if they’ve ever had the cops called on them, and it was two thirds of the Hall. Witnesses use these incidents to further their persecution complex. If you call the cops on them, they will absolutely be back next week, even pushier and more determined
  • some-jw-things

    Additional reminders:

  • Remember that you are dealing with a high-control cult. Jehovah’s Witnesses have falsely prophesied the end of the world almost a dozen times. Around 33,000+ members have died for the sake of a doctrine they made up in the 60s. Whoever you are talking to has trained for years or possibly their entire lives on exactly how to sell this, and make literally anything sound reasonable and appealing. Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that God will kill all non-JWs at Armageddon, as they deserve, and are actively praying for this. They won’t tell you that on the first visit, or the second, or the third. Don’t let them get their foot in the door. Don’t talk to them more than once
  • The Jehovah’s Witness you are dealing with will have a mindset ranging from “every door I don’t knock on is blood on my hands” to “I’m trapped in this religion and can’t leave, please please please don’t listen to me,” or sometimes a horrible mix of both. Don’t show interest, do your research and stay away
  • criticallyalexandrite

    As a victim of the cult please please please signal boost this. Make sure it gets over 100,000 note, Normally I have dni standards but I want everyone to reblog this. No one deserves to be preyed upon by the JW org. Also to people who are tempted to call the police on the JW’s. There’s been quite a few videos  that have proven the governing body have friends in the court system. They’ve been sued many times,.and during the Montana case they managed to keep breaking court rules without being held in contempt of court. That to me suggests that they must have friends within the court who are letting them do this.  This cult know how to extort people into holding off on finally labeling the cult as a hate group globally. They couldn’t stop Russia from doing that but the governing body is still trying to stop other governments from doing the same. Not only is it a high control cult when it comes to silencing and demonizing its victims who’ve left. But its a high control cult that’s learned how to become mostly above the law. Also if anyone is curious to know more about what this cult teaches fee free to ask me too. I’ve been a JW cult victim since I was 22. I was 22 when I woke up to the reality that it was a cult. It was the only perspective I had on life for a long time until I turned 18 and began to try to mentally become more independent. I have a lot of info on how dangerous the cult is. I’ve told some of my other mutuals about how dangerous it is. But not all of my followers and mutuals know yet. So feel free to ask away. I don’t want any of you to be manipulated by this cult. (This cult also has real pedos in it so if you’re a minor  would not suggest you try to go out of your wa to confront adult JW’s. For the sake of your safety.)

    one day, a couple years from now, you’re gonna look back and say, “oh my god, i’m so glad i made it through”. you’re gonna have moments where you love the world so much it makes the back of ur nose burn and you’re gonna have moments where u love yourself, even the parts you thought you would never ever like. you’re gonna have people in your life that you love, and you’re gonna have bad days, but i promise promise promise you it will be so much better. you’re gonna be ok.