Slow Cataclysm

    The second of my 5k Event pieces, for the amazingly talented @uvobreakmylegs​ . Her work inspires me daily, and should be considered a must-read for anyone who likes quality hxh fics. She asked for a stylistic Pakunoda x Reader fic, and I ended up with writing an Apocalypse AU! fic!

    Hope you enjoy it :D

    WARNINGS: end of the world (obviously), descriptions of acid wounds, murder, gn! reader, descriptions of violence and violent intentions


    The troupe prepared for a lot of futures.

    Chrollo made contingency plans for all kinds of scenarios, usually in down time or after a heist had been completed: from countries sending full-on armies after the troupe to what the last remaining member should do in case the rest of the troupe got exterminated. He all kept them written down neatly in a little brown ledger, though he probably had copies lying around somewhere.

    The boss was a man who planned in advance, enjoying both the way his plans worked flawlessly and how the unpredictability of the world and humans scrambled up his plans, yet even he’d never thought he’d need to prepare for the end of the world.

    Why would he plan for something that would kill them all? There was no use making and preparing steps for something as definite as the apocalypse. The troupe, and the rest of mankind for that matter, would be dead. That would be the result. No need to think about it too long.

    Chrollo had been mistaken.

    The apocalypse, like anything, took a while to finish.


    why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on


    every day i ahve to reposition the damn lamp cuz she’s dead set on sticking her first leaf Right The Fuck In There and i don’t want her to burn. but every day i come home from work and she has closed the distance anyway. bestie PLEASE cooperate with me


    i finally caved and moved her to the windowsill but this has clearly not satisfied her because she still presses that leaf RIGHT up against the glass


    apparently instead of actually growing new leaves in order to increase her light intake she’s decided that these are PERFECT conditions to flower in



    [Last image is a tag that reads, “never thought I'd see a plant with unhealthy coping mechanisms”

    The previous images are photos of the plant.]

    reasons I would be dead if i were a muggleborn witch; 

  • just used my wand to scratch my back
  • also hold my hair bun in place
  • tap it against my mouth or cheek when I’m thinking
  • sat on it over 4 times in an hour
  • pushed my glasses up with it
  • stuck it in my ear accidentally 
  • held it with my mouth when i needed both hands for something
  • flew out of my hand when i was swishing it
  • has fallen out numerous times from the wand pocket in my robe when i lean forward
  • Idly chewed on the end
  • dueled with it like a fencing sword/light saber against another wizard
  • my dog took it out of my hand thinking it was a stick for her to play ‘catch me!’ with.
  • will add to when I think of more.
  • hansolostrickedoutweedvan

    Okay, just hear me out for a second.

    Muggleborn kid with a talent for magic. Not real magic. Like, sleight of hand magic. And then a prefect catches them doing something like making a ball appear to vanish or whatever, and just loses their shit because this 11 year old kid has utterly mastered Vanishing Spells and what the hell how is that even possible.

    cool doji danshi will be like

    “i accidentally put the candles in my birthday cake upside down. we bought drinks and they’re not labeled, so we don’t know which belongs to who. i forgot to take the lens off the camera before taking a picture. i got a sleeping mask at work and kept it on for hours.“

    and then it’ll be like “the connections you form with the people around you, even when they are fleeting, are what truly spark joy and creativity. it’s completely okay to mess up; take your mistakes in stride and laugh at yourself. finding your passions requires taking initiative, even when you’re scared of the vulnerability that comes with being honest about what you want. even in adulthood, you are still capable of learning and growing from the people around you.” 

    and then it’ll go back to “i keep reading the same line of this book over and over again. i thought the mannequin at the store was a real person. i thought the pants i left on the floor was my cat. i mistook the pack of mints at my desk for a computer mouse.“