@nighthex413
Eternal Screaming
Posts
57066
Last update
2020-03-06 05:07:35
    anonymous

    How does meeting the parents go? Considering their past, they probably already all know each other but now katsuki is a ph and izuku is a support engineer

    inkos very fond of the new grownup, kinda awkwardly grumpy but relatively polite katsuki. izk having found a top-ranking pro to protect himself with was a very Smart move, according to her. she still might beat katsukis ass if he ever broke her babys heart but otherwise she greatly approves!!

    mitsuki is ECSTATIC. shes like oh my god! finally. little shit finally brought someone for us to meet, even thought weve already met like a billion times before when they were kids. she LOVES izuku. wants to give him some pointers on how to make his support items, on top of being effective and practical, stylish as hell. he gets better ratings and reviews from his clients after her tutorship.

    in addition to all that, she gives him thanks for taking up the hardest job in the entire world: putting up with her son

    (masaru just gives a thumbs up from the sidelines)

    The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS

    1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.

    2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.

    3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as fuck” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.

    4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again

    5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out

    6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead

    7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard

    8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.

    9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals

    10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks

    11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped

    12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home

    13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.

    14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near

    15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again

    16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds

    Horrible AU concept

    celeste: weird random au idea: karkat fakes his death before adults are taken off planet, kills a wriggler’s lusus, and dons a white suit and raises the wriggler as his own rydia: … rydia: yes good rydia: now write it celeste: the wriggler is somehow the psiionic rydia: so he wraps it in tinfoil rydia: oh wait that was just dave celeste: XDD celeste: the wriggler is somehow dave rydia: sdjfsdj celeste: wriggler: sup rydia: WHY DOES THIS WIGGLER HAVE SUNGLASSES ON celeste: WHERE DID HE EVEN GET THEM celeste: the lusus you murdered gave them to him celeste: the fantastic pony lusus rydia: omfg rydia: now write it rydia: I’ll illustrate it for you

    Celeste and I just made an AU where Dave, Sollux, and Karkat are like 75 and living in a retirement home together as neighbors.

    Dave is deaf and plays his music too loud and everyone gets angry.  Karkat is the only person Dave can hear without his hearing aids.

    Sollux has been in love with Karkat for ages, but Karkat has pictures of Jade (his dead wife who died from being a badass grandma when she was like 65) all over his place, so he thinks Karkat is straight.

    Karkat has 8000 grandkids and they all think he is hilarious, and he pretends really hard to hate them, but he doesn’t.

    “Everybody come give Grandpa Vantas a hug!”

    “GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU LITTLE SHITS.”

    etc.

    They all end up sleeping together because Sollux ends up dating them both because he’s Sollux.

    This is the best AU we have ever come up with.

    humanstuck AU that’s worth posting here

    so it’s one of those AUs where sollux is psii’s kid and karkat is signless’, right

    in college sollux has two boyfriends: dave and karkat.  psii already knows karkat because he and sollux grew up together, but sollux EXTREMELY grudgingly brings dave home for the holidays 

    and psii takes one look at the kid and just fuckin

    drops his coffee on the ground

    like<>“that’s…….. 

    <>“that’s the guy who wrote sbahj”

    -

    dave: why does your weird 50 year old dad know my shitty comic

    sollux: because this house is a fucking nightmare

    [after the thanksgiving meal, when karkat and dave have both passed out in sollux’s bed in a food coma and sollux is casually helping psii wash the dishes]

    psii: why didn’t you mention your second boyfriend is dave STRIDER

    sollux: if you EVER say his name with that kind of reverence in front of him i will personally take out a life insurance policy in your name and then kill you and dump your body in a lake

    humanstuck AU that’s worth posting here

    so it’s one of those AUs where sollux is psii’s kid and karkat is signless’, right

    in college sollux has two boyfriends: dave and karkat.  psii already knows karkat because he and sollux grew up together, but sollux EXTREMELY grudgingly brings dave home for the holidays 

    and psii takes one look at the kid and just fuckin

    drops his coffee on the ground

    like<>“that’s…….. 

    <>“that’s the guy who wrote sbahj”

    -

    dave: why does your weird 50 year old dad know my shitty comic

    sollux: because this house is a fucking nightmare

    humanstuck au where dirk and roxy agreed to raise their lil siblings together and since theyre both tech geeks they hit it off with mituna and get into those weird parental barbeques together so dave rose and sollux grow up as friends in the way that their guardians went "were friends so you kids have to hang out and reluctantly be friends too" which never ends well in my experience so dave and sollux just Really Hate Each Other in this strange ass friend way like they play video games together at parties but never interact at school and pretend they dont know each other anywhere else but every once in a while they do something that makes a stranger go "oh wow you two really are best friends huh" and theyre like wtf?? no? idk this guy hes annoying and keeps trailing after me/im forced to babysit him lol

    so its just Like That, For Several Years and theyve hesitantly admitted they tolerate each other but *no* *more* and thats it. thats it

    ...

    and then karkat comes to town

    more additions with @thatneoncrisis to the this means war soldavekat au:

  • in this au dave and sollux grow up together bc it kinda gives some substance to their relationship so karkat isnt the one thats holding them in the middle if that makes sense. also it gives some gold opportunities for embarrassing childhood stories that they hold over each other like its a comeback
  • Dave walks in on sollux telling karkat about the time Dave locked himself inside the washing machine during hide and seek when they were eight
  • the funny part is that theyre telling karkat about all of this bc theyre trying to make him laugh and like them / just to embarass the other but it ends up looking like theyre gushing to him about their weird memories with their not-really-bf
  • speaking of which karkat thinks Dave and sollux are dating the first few years he know them and mentions it to rose one time and shes just “oh honey no”
  • they first meet at a welcome bbq and dave and sollux suddenly see karkat and are like 😳😳😳😳😳😍😍😍😍😍 and they look at each other and Know and start fighting over who gets to go up first which then just turns into an all out fight and karkats watching them from the porch like “oh. okay i see theyre dating” and he doesnt mention it
  • karkat ‘romance is my expertise’ vantas sees sollux push Dave into the creek behind the strilondes house and immediately jumps to 'yep those two are dating’
  • mituna roxy and dirk have the best weird af parent association roxy and mituna get along well and dirks just Tired. he appreciates his tips and knowledge but if he hears mituna make another comment about being a beta cuck hes gonna flip off the handle
  • they all bond by trying to get their kids together every weekend so they can hang out all adultlike
  • TT: Dave’s complaining that Sollux kicked him in the crotch again.
    TA: ROFLOL NICE
    TT: Mituna.
    TG: lmaooooo rip in pieces poor davey
    [ tipsyGnostalgic sent link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thhaf-bKWyg ]