Last update
2018-10-01 13:55:01

    Clara’s Sissy tricks’n tips #1

    Lately I’ve been getting a ton of messages from gurls starting their crossdressing/sissy journey. Most of them wondering how to achieve some of the most basic things a sissy know. Things like maintaining a smooth, hairless body and buying the right size clothing. Sooooo, because I’m lazy, I figured I’d just write a post about it and get everyone off my damn back! 😂

    1. Hair removal

    Anyone hoping to achieve a more femme look should be clean shaven. Everywhere. Face, neck, chest, armpits, arms, back, butt, clitty, pussy, legs and feet. This is time consuming but if you do a little bit every day, it’s easy to maintain. Also, coconut oil is your friend!! Apply a layer of coconut oil to an area before shaving and you’ll dramatically reduce razor burn and foliculitis - both of which are no fun. Also moisturise. Lather that shit on the shaved area when your done to achieve extra smoothness.

    2. Buying clothes

    Buying clothes online is a real crapshoot. So a good rule of thumb is to buy a size larger than you think you need. So if you’re a medium, you think you might be a 12 but buy a 14. That way if it’s too big, you can send it back and feel awesome about your skinny bitch self. Trust me, There are few things more depressing in this world than buying a pretty little dress on amazon, waiting a week for delivery only to find when you try it on, you look like the hulk in Bruce Banner’s clothes. Also, when you find a brand that fits well, make note of it and continue to buy that brand.

    3. Buying Heels

    No other item of clothing you buy will feel as good as a pair of well fitting heels. Amazon and eBay are your friends here. Personally I buy Onlymaker and EKS heels as they do gorgeous heels in larger sizes. Stupid boy feet are usually wider than pretty girl feet too, so always buy a size larger than your normal size. Finally, learn to walk in them. It’s taken me years of practice but I can now finally walk confidently in my heels. I used to hate it when I’d feel really pretty and girly and then have to clip-clop around the room like a horse trying walk on it’s back legs. It’s not easy but there are a ton of tutorial on YouTube so take the time to learn!

    If you find this info helpful and would like more,

    please like and reblog.

    - Clara X


    Hey J! I was just curious how you manage to get past irritation from cages, I've bought 5 different cages with different types/shapes of rings but all of them become too painful after about a day of wearing :( yet I try to size up rings and its still painful or just too big -.-

    Good question! And rather topical, too.! I’ve never really had it as bad as you describe (except perhaps with the CB…god those rings were not great…) BUT I did have to take the cage off today (sorry, lovelies :/ ) because it was giving me skin problems (light peeling..?) and I think it’s because I have not been drinking enough water. So that’s my number 1 suggestion: make sure you are always properly hydrated!! And also moisturize (for example, every time you step out of the shower, or after you have a hygiene opening) to ensure that your sensitive skin is being properly taken care of!

    Another suggestion is to use long-lasting lube! I personally use JO’s hybrid lube because -like oil lubes in general- it has fairly decent staying power (i.e.: it doesn’t dry up super fast) so it’ll allow the cage some wiggle room as you go about your day-to-day.

    My final suggestion is, that if you haven’t tried a HolyTrainer device -an authentic one, as I can’t speak to knock-off quality- to give it a shot. The ring is SUPER comfortable, and the material bends ever so slightly with heat. I can’t say for sure if body heat is enough to make it noticeably malleable, but it sure feels like it. And, honestly, I think body heat probably is enough because it practically melts in your hands if you run it under hot water in the sink.So, there you go, hope that helps..!

    Speaking of emlalock, y’all don’t waste any time.!! Wow :/

    Anyways, you may have noticed that I didn’t mention anything regarding the roulettes last night. That’s because they’re so hot, I ended up just leaking in my cage trying to pick one out. So I picked out a bunch, and there’s even more I want to go through. I’ll keep looking until I either find the right one, or a set of roulettes that work well together, or enough ideas to build my own.!!! What I want is, ideally, to play a roulette at least once a day to keep me horny and leaking, and on weekends to play either more roulettes, or more involved ones.

    So, that’s going to take more time than I thought.!

    Still, chastity couldn’t wait -and it’s something I had already taken care of-, so I went ahead and started that bit (and may or may not have slept with the Hush plug inside me :P), so yeah!!

    PS: I also owe you all a review of the HolyTrainer V3 Small. As I mentioned in a previous ask I had some weirdness going on with my skin that I’m chalking off to dehydration, but I’m still going to wait and see another day or two to control for that because I want to make sure I give you all the best, most informed opinion I can. So thank you for your patience ❤️


    Hey! Fellow trans* girl here, super in to the chastity thing. Finally got a cage just yesterday and was hoping you could give me some pointers for long term wear. Like, wardrobe choices for discretion and comfort. Should I be lubing the device and with What? I've got a few friends that do the "let's share a cubical" thing in bar toilets. Has this ever happened to you? How did you hide the cage/explain it if it was noticed? Thanks in advance:)

    Hey! Always nice to see another trans* person into these kinks! And congrats on the cage!! Which one did you get? (this is important because some cages are stealthier and/or more comfortable than others)

    So, pointers, let’s seeeeee…

    First stop: long term wear - don’t. Start off easy. Half an hour at first, then maybe an hour the next day, maybe a few hours a couple days later, etc… Don’t dive into long term immediately, as that will only lead to pain, and pain leads to the dark side. Instead give your body time to adjust to its new situation.

    Next, wardrobe choices for discretion and comfort…I think probably skirts/dresses, if you wear those, especially looser/flowier ones. If you wear pants/leggings/shorts then I highly recommend longer tunics or really any kind of top that is loose and covers your crotch (cardigans can work). Also, if your pants have functional front pockets, keeping car keys or things in them help hide the bulge. If it’s still showing, you might want to try tighter underwear, or even pantyhose. Anyways, with the new HolyTrainer, I find I’m a lot less self conscious about the bulge. Also, I find that out of chastity, my thong/panty/etc size is S depending on the brand, but with chastity I often have to go up to M with anything that isn’t a thong (otherwise it puts too much pressure). Also, try to wear underwear that covers all of your bits, otherwise you might run into chafing on your testes. Or maybe I just have thick thighs, I dunno. Also, I have not been to the gym with my cage on without wearing some sort of loose running shorts. I will be going to the gym sometime this week and will be trying with the holytrainer but still, something to keep in mind.

    Onto lube: depends, some people need it, others don’t. I like to use hybrid coconut oil + water lube, but it depends on the lube type and the cage material, and what you want it to do: is it just for putting it on?Lthen liquid water-based should be fine. Is it for longer term? Then you might want to look into oil / silicone based.

    Finally: the bar thing! My answer to you is that I don’t have any friends.

    Hope that answers your questions! And best of luck with your chastity game!!

    Okay, I lied, I maybe have a friend or two, BUT I’ve never shared a bathroom stall. That shit would just weird me the fuck out. (Like, what’s the point, what do you even do? Do you all take turns peeing?? *shudders*) Anyways, the way I see it, if you trust these people enough to get into a stall with them -whatever happens in said stall notwithstanding- then you probably trust them with the knowledge that you’ve got some…danglers…between your legs. And if you trust them with that knowledge, you can probably trust them with a little bit of kink. So just be cool and chill, play it casual like it’s nothing, and explain to them what it is, and that it’s a kink of yours, and that it’s your thing and they don’t need to participate or anything. If all of these assumptions are wrong, and you don’t feel comfortable sharing/explaining your kinks then you probably need better friends. Just kidding. But, really, if that’s the case maybe you should reconsider the whole sharing a stall thing. Or wear a flowy dress/skirt with some tight pantyhose underneath. This should make it so that the only way it’s visible is if your skirt’s getting lifted.

    So, phew, there you go. Again, welcome to the chastity journey! Best of luck :)


    What is the most discomfort you get from long term chastity

    Haha right now I’m dealing with some swelling. Which is why the V3 review continues to be delayed. But it varies from person to person, and experience level. Last year, I didn’t have any problems, because my body had gotten used to it. Now that I’m starting again after over a month of freedom, well, it’s a bit rough.

    The biggest problem, though, is always hygiene. And for uncircumcised people like me: foreskin pinching. SUCH a pain.

    Between a Ring and a Different-Sized Ring

    I’ve been fielding a lot of questions about chastity, and I think that they are all well deserved. They would also all be better served by a proper review of the HTV3, which I’ve been promising, but continue to stall.

    Here’s the deal. I’ve been flipping back and forth between the smallest ring, and the second smallest ring. And I hear you, I hear you: “J, it’s simple, choose the one that’s most comfortable!” But, it’s just not that simple.

    The thing is that the smallest ring *is* super, super, super comfortable. The problem is that it appears that after a couple of days it starts causing a bit of swelling. So I switch over one size up -which is the size, mind you, that I’d wear with the V2- but that one is far less comfortable, and, quite frankly, I’m not sure it’s helping with the swelling. Today, for instance, I had some pinching of my sissy ovaries! That’s almost unheard of!

    Also, apparently this ring makes my foreskin more prone to pinching? For some reason..? I dunno….

    Anyhow, that might be partially because I already had some swelling going on, so I’m going to keep it on through tonight. If it doesn’t improve, I’m probably just going to go back and stick with the smaller one.

    So, that’s where we’re at with things. Again, lovelies, I’m thankful for your patience. This experience is really frustrating because I don’t recall it being this bad with the V2. But we’ll see. As soon as this swelling matter is settled we will have ourselves the best review of a chastity device EVER!

    I promise!


    So I have the same cage and don't actually have to come out for cleaning, I just use a squeeze bottle/hair die bottle with a couple drops of moisturizing body wash to give it a good couple rinses. Then a few more with plain water, and a little blow drying when I'm done. It works really well for me, locked for weeks with zero issue! Thought I might share... Love the blog 😍

    So, the first question that comes to mind is: do you have foreskin? But that’s a little bit irrelevant, as everyone’s bits are different.

    Regardless, I tried the squirt bottle myself (I still have one lying around somewhere), and it’s just not good enough. I thought it was, but then a few days later (almost a week) I unlocked and it just wasn’t good. So, no more squirt bottle for me -the health risks aren’t worth it.

    Still, thanks for the suggestion! To other sissies out there, I cannot in good conscience recommend the squirt bottle if you have foreskin (if you don’t I’m sure it works much better), but if you want to give it a shot (again, everyone’s bits are different) then just monitor it very closely and remember: safety first.


    thats why open design stainless steel cages are the best <3


    Yep! Unfortunately the designs on them are more focused towards men than sissies so they can afford to be bulkier. That said I do have my eyes on the Sissy cage, and am saving up for it.


    Even though i have a HTv2 since august 2017, i've only used it over the course of a day because i couldn't sleep with it. My last fap was friday 16th and this weekend i thought: "what the hell, i'll do my best to stay in chastity over the weekend!" And i did!! The difference probably was that i'm closing 2 months hrt and probably spiro is lowering my libido, which feels amazing. The problem is: I DON'T WANT TO TAKE MY HTv2 OUT to go to work tomorrow, but i'm shy and scared of someone noticing.

    Well, congrats on keeping it on through the weekend! I don’t know if you already dress en femme all the time (even to work), but if you don’t (or if you still wear guy pants) then it should be fine. Honestly, 99% of the time people aren’t looking anywhere near below the belt except perhaps at your butt. And even then, they’re looking *for* your butt, not at your crotch. That said, the V2 isn’t super subtle, so if you wear tighter bottoms -regardless of how you gender code (although bulges are never “out of place” in men), well, that’s an issue. What I always recommend is wearing tunics / long tops. Not only do they help make your butt look good, but they also help cover the front. Also if you wear jeans, keep things in the front pockets if possible - that also camouflages bulges.!


    Any advice on how to find a properly-sized ring for a chastity cage? I read some advice on finding a proper size, but it still ends up feeling a bit tight - not sure if I need to take my time and adjust gradually, or spend a little extra on some additional ring sizes.

    I’m a terrible example here. It’s a long story, but the skinny is I *thought* I’d found my ring size thanks to the CB6000s and used that when I ordered my HTV2. Now, however, it appears I’m actually one size smaller than that.! Who would’ve known..! Anyways, if you’ve measured yourself as indicated by the manufacturer, then maybe try to ease into it slowly. If after a month or so you have no results, then go ahead and get a different size!


    Hi, love your stuff!! I'm a fairly new sissy who is getting deeper into crossdessing/sissificstion, and I am keen to try out chastity, however I am only 22 and worried about long term effects of chastity (impotence, penile nerve damage etc.) Should I worry about long term effects, and are there ways to avoid them? My girlfriend and me both agree that if chastity has long term risks we will just avoid it. Your blog is seriously the best, hope you get all the support you need!!

    Chastity should be perfectly safe as long as you’re meeting the following three criteria:

    1- Chastity is not permanent. If you’re only wearing the cage during play sessions, then you will be a-okay and free of consequences. The longer you wear the cage continuously, however, the bigger the consequences. Still, it would take months, if not years, to achieve anything noticeable*.

    2- You have adequate room in the cage. Having a cage that isn’t too small and allows you room to breathe and grow will help minimize the shrinkage, because you’re not confining yourself too much. To this effect there are plenty of fairly lengthy cages that give you a lot of leeway. Fun fact, my first cage was one of those, and I could get all the way hard, but with a downward bend. While it wasn’t nearly as visually or fetish-ily enticing as the small ones I wear now, it was still pretty hot enduring the denial.

    3- You still use it regularly. The tissue there is flexible and responds well to “exercise”. That’s why some men swear they can make their penises bigger with certain physical tasks (although I don’t put much stock on that, tbqh). Regardless, the point I’m trying to make is that you can as long as you’re letting it breathe and working it out regularly, it should maintain a healthy level of elasticity.

    Now, the caveat, and the reason I put that (*) up at the end of #1: shrinkage is extremely gradual, so unless you’re actively looking for it, and measuring, you won’t see it happening. With that in mind, a very provocative question begs to be asked: if neither of you notice it, which surely means that the smaller size isn’t a problem, is shrinking *really* a bad thing??

    That’s rhetorical, so don’t bother trying to answer -I just couldn’t help myself. :P

    Anyways, just don’t wear too small a cage, for long stretches of time, and give it plenty of playtime and you’ll be a-okay :D

    PS: as an aside, since the penis is basically just a sponge that fills with blood, I highly recommend doing cardio regularly to make sure your heart can fill it up real good.


    Actually, this focused on shrinking, and I failed to address your other concerns, like nerve damage. SO, impotence goes hand in hand with shrinking, so the same points apply. And as far as nerve damage, #2 is what’s really important. You need to make sure that all your bits have proper circulation, otherwise some of your tissue can fail or die and that’s when you can get in trouble. This shouldn’t be hard, though, just make sure that there’s no pinching, and that you are comfortable. Rule of thumb: if you can’t forget you’re wearing it because it’s too uncomfortable, then it’s probably too small.


    Hi J! What thongs do you recommend. I seem to never be able to cover my cage and it hurts from abrasion :(

    That really depends on your anatomy.! I recommend things like stretchy VS/Pink thongs (like this, for example), or some of the stretchier ones that AdoreMe carries. Of course, you can also look for stretchy ones at, say, Target, since they’ve got cute stuff there. Regardless, it doesn’t matter where you shop, as long as you remember that the key is that they’re nice stretchy at the front.

    PS: protip - go to a lingerie store and scope them out there. If you’re not at that point, and have ~$30 available, take advantage of VS/Pink’s 5/$28 deal and get a bunch of different styles and see which ones work best!


    What size holy Trainer and base ring do you have? I've been looking for workout pants that won't show my cage!

    I’ve got the Small tube with the smallest (40mm?) ring they offer. Unfortunately, there will *always* be a bulge if you’re wearing anything tight, but what you can do is hide it under a tunic, or try to make it look like you just got really fat lips down there (what this girl right here does).

    If you wear baggy things like running shorts, well, in that case the world is your burrito.


    Hello gorgeous lady. I'm in a FML relationship and I'm having such a tuff time finding my lil pet a quality cage. The one you're wearing, how is It? Any pinching? Will it slip off? Other sizes? Is that your only cage? Any advice on the best one out there. We have bought 2 now and they both have let us down Thx.

    Sorry to hear you’re struggling to find a good cage.! If you want my honest thoughts on the one I wear (HolyTrainer V3), then here’s a video that should cover most questions I’ve been asked. I think the only thing missing is re: pinching -but that’s really only an issue if you have foreskin. Otherwise it should be A-OKAY. Otherwise, plugging the pee hole with TP, a cheap bandaid, or putting a condom over the tube (for a bit of extra humiliation) will do the trick!


    Random beginner chastity question since you seem to be the Holy Trainer authority - is it normal to have some mild discomfort from the fit of the ring feeling a bit tight? Not sure if it's something I'll get used to or if I need to go up in size. Love your blog and all the help you offer

    LOL! HolyTrainer authority! I like that!! 😛 How long have you been wearing it? Is it uncomfortable all of the time, or only sometimes (e.g.: when you sleep)? If the discomfort is only mild, I’m inclined to believe it’s something your body needs to adjust to (make sure you moisturize), but I don’t have enough information to say for certain.


    How do you sleep comfortably in your cage at night? I find myself waking up several times throughout the night in pain. I tried a one size bigger ring but the cage just slips off at that point, suggestions?

    Alright, everybody, new rule: If you want me to give you helpful advice I need you to give me as much information as you can.

    Right now I don’t know what kind of pain you feel or where you feel it (is it cramps, is it pressure around your scrotum, is it soreness on your clitty), I don’t even know what cage you have (which makes a MASSIVE impact). I don’t know if you wear the cage consistently throughout the day, or if you only wear it when you’re at home. I don’t know if you’re new to chastity or if you’ve got several months or years consistently practicing it.

    I will make an educated guess that you’re not wearing a genuine HolyTrainer, because those come with only one ring, and buying a second one is not cheap. This might be part of your problem, as the HT is the only cage I’ve been able to comfortably sleep in.