for the first time in my entire life I feel like myself again, but am stuck reaping what I’ve sewn this last decade. best friend needs help desperately physically and mentally, I’m on the verge of homelessness and unemployed. (though I had 2 interviews yesterday and one today and looks like I may have gotten one if not two jobs at least). but that doesn’t solve the fact I need to find a place to live. shelter near me won’t work, requires being an addict, only can leave one day a month with immediate family (all of which are dead), can’t work (only for them), no electronics allowed, basically seems like a cult.
now that I’m completely sober my anxiety and depression have never been worse. I have no car at the moment so I’m stuck in my room on this phone all day just looking for work, and my thoughts do nothing but frustrate to the point if tears and panic attacks and just horrible thoughts. I finally am getting my life back on track and everything is falling apart. I’m losing my best friend, my brother, who needs to focus on bettering himself and getting his life back, which he desperately deserhe’s. My other best friend has always been there for me and I lied to them and was a toxic friend and will take years for me to earn their trust back and there’s no rushing it I know that, but I’ve never needed a friend more in my life until now. I’m fighting so hard to not give up, but I don’t know what to do or where to begin. My parents passed and grandmother passed away so I have no family to turn to.
my license is suspended, my car is unregistered, I don’t have insurance. and soon won’t have anywhere to live. I need a miracle, a break, and a friend. I promised I’d never commit suicide, and I meant it, and I’ll never give up until I have no other options. Hopefully these jobs pan through. I’ve never felt so empty and just defeated and numb yet so overwhelmed and ready to burst. I hate how clear headed I am right now. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve never felt more alone.
For those who want to possibly assist with my license/car issues or to help save up to either find a room to rent or get a hotel when I need to, I’d gladly accept donations brought PayPal or Zelle. Reblogs appreciated, and if you can’t it’s fine. I’m not expecting anything. I’m just at a loss and don’t know what to do anymore.
My PayPal is:
And for for those who would rather Zelle, DM me and I’ll give you my phone number privately. And if you can’t it’s fine, reblogs appreciated, not expecting anything. Sorry for being in such a depressing mood, feel free to DM with any questions.