@professordiggsy
Professor Diggsy's Anomalous Sanctuary
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2021-02-26 21:25:58
    paper-mario-wiki

    so like why did spiderman get to have the opportunity to not feel so good but everyone else just died instantly

    chefpyro

    Spider sense. He felt it coming

    paper-mario-wiki

    how the fuck does spidey sense even work though

    nirtonic

    He actually has a lot of spiders as his muscles and bones, and they started disintegrating inside him first, and thus the collective Spiders man felt bad

    paper-mario-wiki

    gonna b honest this makes the most sense out of all the other explanations ive been given so i accept this one

    Capture Sphere
    2rd-level Enchantment
    Casting Time: 1 Reaction
    Range: 15 feet
    Components: V,S
    Duration: 1 round
    Classes
    : Wiza
    rd
    Description
    : An orb of blue energy forms around a creature forcing it to succeed a wisdom saving throw otherwise lifting it 5 feet above the ground and freezing it in place. for the next round that creature can not take actions, move, or activate an ability or magic item. while they are effected by this spell they are unable to receive any sort of damage or be effected by any
    spell.

    At higher levels: for each level above 2ed level increase the duration by 1 round

    Lore of Ravnica: Vampires

    Oh the vampire, is there anything more classic? From Dracula to Nosferatu the vampire is an iconic symbol of horror a parasitic being that feeds off of the blood and fear of the people! D&D has its own iconic interpretations of these characters, the most iconic one is of course strahd Von zarovich both of ruler and prisoner of ravenloft! How does magic the Gathering handle these  horror icons?

    What are Vampires like in MTG?

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    In many different ways actually every Magic the Gathering plane of existence has its own interpretation of vampires summer very different While others have strange similarities to each other. For example the vampires of innistrad and zendikar are not in fact Undead, but are living creatures transformed by a blood curse.

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    The vampires of ixalan still require the ability to breathe to survive while it is implied that the vampires of tarkir do not.

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    One of the large constants throughout the Multiverse when it comes to vampires is they tend to stay Within the black section of the color pie sometimes branching off to blue, red and white. Vampires are never green as it goes parasitism goes against Green’s ideal of symbiotic relationships.

    Vampires and Ravnica

    Much like the rest of the magic the Gathering settings the vampires of Ravnica have their own unique twist on the concept. In the original Ravnica city of guilds set we we’re introduced to Ravnica as unique breed of vampires the Moroii.

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    Unlike other vampires from across the Multiverse the Moroii  had the ability to drain ones very youth from their victims. The Moroii had extremely monstrous appearances strange almost almost anorexic forms with loose gray blue skin, longclaw like talons, a 3rd eye on their foreheads and a set of bat-like wings upon their back. It is possible that these creatures have the ability to shape-shift into a less monsters forum as these monsters were apart of House Dimir.

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    The leader of house dimir Szadek was himself a Vampire, a mastermind mage he orchestrated the dimir’s machinations from the shadows. During the time frame of Ravnica city of guilds it would seem that most vampires were member of Szadek’s brood being able to feed off of mental energy and a victim youth rather than their blood.

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    It is possible that the guildpact was one of the restricting factors in why only the Moroii breed of vampires were active during Ravnica city of guilds. After the guildpact was broken We Begin seeing other vampires starting with the Skeletal Vampire in the set “Guildpact”.

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    This vampire is very different from the Moroii,  being nothing more than a skeleton with veins stretching across his frame. It could be with the destruction of the guildpact vampires which were simply hibernating were released from a 10 millennia long nap now ready to feed once more.

    When we returned to Ravnica their seem to have been a sudden change to the vampire population no longer were vampires restricted to only the Moroii breed it seemed that Orzhov syndicate had also taken vampires into their Guild. These vampires were more traditional blood drinking vampires, only the most privileged seem to be able to take this transformation those in good standing with the guild. It is unknown when or how vampires began working for the Orzhov.

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    How’s dimir still has a very active vampiric membership base. These vampires a beer to be a mixing of the Moroii breed and the new blood drinking vampires. These House vampires boast extremely potent psychic abilities and stealth capabilities which allow them to espionage and assassinate with ease.

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    There also appears to be an active not non-guild Vampire faction Necropolis Regent and Child of Night depict vampires who are trying to make it on their own in the city. It seems that many of these vampires face persecution or hardship for their choice to remain a vampire this is depicted best in the child of night flavor text.

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    “No guilds—that is her rule. The House vampires unnerve her. The Combine would dissect her, the Legion burn her, the Conclave “cure” her. The shadows are all the family she needs.”

    Vampires and the Guilds!

    Vampires Associated mostly with black aligned guilds originally exclusively found their home in house dimir, but now find themselves and other guilds. in this section we will talk about their positions in the guilds and abilities when aligning with said Guild

    Dimir

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    Vampires have always found a home in House Dimir, creatures of the night they find themselves well Suited for the guilds stealth operations. Vampires of the guild have unique psychic abilities, instead of drinking blood they can instead choose to drain memories and intelligence from their victims.

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    Many vampires take up positions of power within house dimir such as Seers, necrosages or Elite agents. In recent years two of the guilds champions have been vampires the memory extractor Mirko Vosk and Etrata a master assassin within the guild.

    Orzhov

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    Becoming a vampire seems to be a form of acknowledgement of power within the guild for the Orzhov. Their abilities seem to be Amplified by the amount of blood that they consume, which they drain from The Guild the debtors.

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    It is not known how vampires began joining the Orzhov, but some Concepts could include the following. It could be the case that vampires simply began joining the guild after the destruction of the guildpact, they were able to reach high ranks within the guild and began converting lesser members to increase their own power and population. Another explanation could be that must like the vampires of innistrad vampires are created when one drinks the blood of an Angel, perhaps there’s a ritual where a Orzhov angel can a point new vampiric members of The Syndicate by having them partake of Angelic blood.

    Rakdos

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    Although we have never seen a rakdos vampire on the plane of Ravnica it is possible that one could be created, perhaps unaligned vampire chooses to serve the Demon Lord rakdos. Show me leave it there Bloodsport and visceral shows a vampire would be able to living sufficient life among the cult.

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    Positions could include performers or ringleaders among the cult. Perhaps their performance could be starving themselves for releasing civilians into the ring to be slaughtered and drained of their blood while trying to fight off the starving Beast. Perhaps you could have an entire circle of rakdos as a vampiric master and the members be vampiric spawn.

    How to use them in a Ravnica campaign?

    Vampires make wonderful antagonists powerful and sinister they make for great masterminds! In the city of Ravnica you can have ancient vampires who have established themselves in positions of wealth and power who your PC’s have to try to deal with very carefully or bring their ire upon them. Instead of living in dungeons and castles these vampires would have extravagant Estates filled with servants to act as guards against threats.

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    Depending on if house dimir is your enemy or Ally you could have vampires who try to actively interfere with your adventure or outright assassinate you if you’re there enemy. If you are there Ally you have a unique source of information character whom you can pay to extract secrets from those who would try to hide information from you. If raiding a dimir base of operation perhaps having the leader of the base be a powerful vampire would not be out of the question.

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    If you are dealing with the Orzhov a vampire might act as your broker and assist you in dealing with the internal operations of The Syndicate. If you yourself are a member of the Orzhov one form of promotion could be becoming a vampire yourself, participating in some form virtual which binds you to the guild, but gives you new powers and abilities.

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    Depending on what faction you join perhaps you are sent off to either assist or kill unaligned vampire who refuses to join a guild. If you are sent to assist this is an escort mission with a potential of making a unique and Powerful Ally at the end of it. If this is a mission to hunt the vampire you must first figure out who their next victim will be and how to locate them!

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    Hopefully this post inspires you to use vampires and your campaign! I already have ideas on how to make a Orzhov vampire ritual which I might detailing a Homebrew at a later date. I am taking Thursday off so until Saturday recap thank you for reading and may your guild prosper!

    Ludos the Toyetic

    God of Play-Derived Franchises

    (a D&D-style fantasy concept, if anyone wants to make 5th ed/Pathfinder/whatever mechanics for this, feel free)

    The laws of fansatical diviniy mean every concept is up for grabs for a deity willing to take it up. Ludos the Toyetic is the Chaotic Neutral King of childrens’ and geeks’ entertainment, holding sway specifically over multimedia franchises that connect to toys, video games and cartoons.

    Ludos teaches that play and fun are virtues as noble as any other, and that “coolness” and “marketability” are the tools of furthering their spread. He is worshipped by toymakers, storytellers, entertainers, advertisers, the 4-13 year old demographic, and pop culture afictionados of all stripes. He has more artificer and bard followers than paladins. 

    Adventuring parties with a devotee of Ludos seem more well known than their counterparts provided they maintain a generally “family friendly” reputation. 

    Those who earn Ludos’s wrath are subject to a host of pranks and torments. Repeat offenders will find themselves hunted by his champions, a host of celestial heroes and sidekicks of legendary reptuation, who are divided into themed bands of 3-7 members. These champions rarely destroy a foe, and instead devote their lives to thwarting their every endeavor in a cycle of humiliation and sissyphean defeat. Seeing local children play with a toy of you, as the bad guy, is a sure sign Ludos has turned against you.

    Ludos’ clerics are tasked with both the enterainment and protection of children. They gain a special spell “craft merch”, that creates a toy, game, or piece of basic appearel based on the caster or a person/creature they are familiar with. The more adept the worshipper, the more copies of the item can be made with a single casting. Any spell cast by a devotee of Ludos that summons or creates food or drink also creates a small toy surprise with each serving. 

    In place of food or animal offerings, devotees are expected to deliver a 2-3 minute lecture on safety or civic responsiblity to one or more youths engaged in dangerous acts.

    His holy symbol is a 4 inch tall figurine of Ludos with joints at the hips, waist, shoulders and neck. There are 20 variants of this symbol, each with its own look and acessories. 

    Keyleth: I guess I have to start getting used to losing things.

    Sprigg: Yes. Or you can be hidden away in a prison for thirty-seven years. And that’s not life, child. That’s hiding. Don’t hide.

    Keyleth: I’ve already built my own prison. They don’t know. I’m already there.

    Sprigg: You can break out. You can. It’s hard. But you can do it. Just take the first step. And then you take another one. And then you take another one.

    askinnyblackman

    dems were like “$2000 checks, immediately” then they were like “okay so not IMMEDIATELY immediately. first we’re gonna put on a big show to impeach trump even though he’s not even in office any more. also those checks are gonna be $1400 now. also we failed to convict trump. also we forgot about the checks. you good though, right? anyway we’re going on vacation now. please keep voting for us :)”

    askinnyblackman

    also remember when we said we were gonna help you out with your student loans? yeah we’re not doing that either

    askinnyblackman

    hey i know we said we were gonna fight for a $15 minimum wage but see what had happened was is that we decided that we are going to not do that. but what we DID decide to do was give huge subsidies to private health insurance companies that are already making record profits. can’t afford medicare for all or paid sick leave though, sorry :( y’all be easy!

    absynthe--minded

    this is saved on my desktop with the title ‘Every D&D Campaign Ever’

    justkeeptrekkin

    This is genuinely one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. The lack of music is amazing

    theoutcastrogue

    Oh, aye, it is truly a disgrace that, when asked what genre our D&D game is, we say pretentious shit like “fantasy” or “epic fantasy” or “sword & sorcery”, instead of honestly replying, “slapstick”.

    heroineimages

    I don’t get people who don’t like the Three Stooges.