
reblog this post to let the mutual you reblogged this from know that you still like them
reblog this post to let the mutual you reblogged this from know that you still like them
john lennon: please everyone stop fighting :( no war
me: why did you beat your wife with your hands
The old working class hero who sang “imagine no possessions” while he owned a walk in chilled room to keep his fur coats and exclusivity smoked French cigarettes. John Lennon can fuck off and when he gets there fuck off a little more
person: How are you?
me: i literally have no idea
me, begging, tears in my eyes: please. please just tell me what the book is about. the plot. please
a book annotation on the cover, unfazed: A Subversive Masterpiece. A Deep And Touching Story. The New York Times Bestseller. Go Fuck Yourself
david harbour: :(
winona ryder: *exists*
david harbour: :)
Normal-ass English Sentence: The bread has to bake for 12 minutes
Dumbass Dark Souls writer: On the 12th cycle of the seconds, the flames shall cast upon the harvested wheat and breathe new life into the old world.
someone: what are your plans for the weekend
me: who knows
me: (i know)
me: (i'm not leaving the house)
Jesus: Make sure nobody is poor
Everyone:
Jesus:
Everyone: So like industrial capitalism?
someone: hey whats your name
me, dissociating: yeah
Me: *buys a new book* OH MY GOD I CANT WAIT TO GO HOME AND READ IT, IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TO COME OUR FOR YEARS!!
Me: *takes 2 years to pick the book up*
someone on tumblr: ☭ follow for more pastel communism ☭
Eastern Europeans: *desperately trying not to throw up*
Watching American movies/shows in which they speak my native language
Me: that’s... that’s not a word
Me: wait what are they saying?
Me: *reads subtitles*
Me: what
English speaking people: And they lived happily ever after
German speaking people: ...
German speaking people: And if they haven't died, they are still alive today
a fairy: don't consume any food from this realm unless you're prepared to remain here for an
me, immediately shoving an entire unpeeled orange in my mouth: Unfortunate
Quentin Tarantino: I'm making another movie
Guy who makes fake blood for a living: *rubs hands together*
person: how can you keep that in your ROOM? it wants to kill and eat you!! it's vicious!!
my snake: (balls up because I wiggled her feeder at her)
my snake: (balls up because she saw a paper towel)
my snake: (balls up because she saw her reflection)
my snake: (periscopes too high and falls over dramatically, balls up and peeks around like "WHO DID DAT")
my snake: (hides in my bra for warmth)
my snake: (puts her own head under a running faucet and sits there for ten years) (it feels nice I guess?)
my snake: (rubs her chin all over my hand until I scratch the itch)
my snake: (gets stuck inside a paper towel tube, balls up when I free her from it, immediately goes back in)
me:
me:
me: totally agree
me: [two seconds after waking up from a 10 year coma] is till lindemann okay? how is he doing? i hope he is having a great day.
Friend: What's your type?
Me: Famous or fictional.
Male Writer: Ah, anniversary jokes are so funny. Because chicks always hate it when you don't remember anniversaries! A plus gold very original
Male Writer: Mother in laws amirite?
Male Writer: My male character who is an author insert of myself pines after a woman I used to pine after in high school. Then they have sex. This is good literature.
Male Writer: Ugh female books are so romance filled
Male Writer: And girl fanfics, so mary suey
Male Writer: Now listen about this original middle aged man who is an expert in everything, suffers from ennui, looks like me, acts like me, and gets all the girls i want.
Male Writer: She was sexy in an alluring, boring way, filled with purple prose and riddled with objectification
Male Writer: If i make a female character parrot my misogynistic views, they cease to be misogynistic! Are you saying you don't respect my fake female characters opinions, feminists?
Male Writer: a good action girl is one who looks hot at all times
Male Writer: If the female main character got in an asskicking line, my work is Feminist with a capital F and no one can criticize me
Specifically White Male Writer: Heroic tropes are so overdone. I'm going to create a boring white guy with stubble to be a completely original antihero no one has ever seen before TM.
Same Guy: It's original because he is a jerk who gets away with bad behavior, just like I wish i could.
Another Specifically White Male Writer: It's in my universe to only have white men do things in my book. I mean, don't you care about historical accuracy
Same Guy: I mean, it's a generic fantasy verse with no real life time period equivalent and i haven't done any research, but i'm SURE that it's historically accurate. To that dark mideval dragon fighting europe period
Same Guy: Where in Europe? Who cares!
Male Writer: There is no better way to introduce a female character to a male character than by him saving her.
Male Writer: Characters hating each other is good sexual tension!
Male Writer: One female character and five male characters is a good team balance
Male Writer: If my female character chooses to act in a sexist tropey way, it's not sexist. In fact, because she CHOSE to do it, it is Feminist.
Male Writer: I am original
friend: my astronomy final is tomorrow quiz me
me: ok
me: whats your favourite planet :)