john lennon: please everyone stop fighting :( no war
me: why did you beat your wife with your hands
The old working class hero who sang “imagine no possessions” while he owned a walk in chilled room to keep his fur coats and exclusivity smoked French cigarettes. John Lennon can fuck off and when he gets there fuck off a little more
me, begging, tears in my eyes: please. please just tell me what the book is about. the plot. please
a book annotation on the cover, unfazed: A Subversive Masterpiece. A Deep And Touching Story. The New York Times Bestseller. Go Fuck Yourself
person: how can you keep that in your ROOM? it wants to kill and eat you!! it's vicious!!
my snake: (balls up because I wiggled her feeder at her)
my snake: (balls up because she saw a paper towel)
my snake: (balls up because she saw her reflection)
my snake: (periscopes too high and falls over dramatically, balls up and peeks around like "WHO DID DAT")
my snake: (hides in my bra for warmth)
my snake: (puts her own head under a running faucet and sits there for ten years) (it feels nice I guess?)
my snake: (rubs her chin all over my hand until I scratch the itch)
my snake: (gets stuck inside a paper towel tube, balls up when I free her from it, immediately goes back in)
me: totally agree
Male Writer: Ah, anniversary jokes are so funny. Because chicks always hate it when you don't remember anniversaries! A plus gold very original
Male Writer: Mother in laws amirite?
Male Writer: My male character who is an author insert of myself pines after a woman I used to pine after in high school. Then they have sex. This is good literature.
Male Writer: Ugh female books are so romance filled
Male Writer: And girl fanfics, so mary suey
Male Writer: Now listen about this original middle aged man who is an expert in everything, suffers from ennui, looks like me, acts like me, and gets all the girls i want.
Male Writer: She was sexy in an alluring, boring way, filled with purple prose and riddled with objectification
Male Writer: If i make a female character parrot my misogynistic views, they cease to be misogynistic! Are you saying you don't respect my fake female characters opinions, feminists?
Male Writer: a good action girl is one who looks hot at all times
Male Writer: If the female main character got in an asskicking line, my work is Feminist with a capital F and no one can criticize me
Specifically White Male Writer: Heroic tropes are so overdone. I'm going to create a boring white guy with stubble to be a completely original antihero no one has ever seen before TM.
Same Guy: It's original because he is a jerk who gets away with bad behavior, just like I wish i could.
Another Specifically White Male Writer: It's in my universe to only have white men do things in my book. I mean, don't you care about historical accuracy
Same Guy: I mean, it's a generic fantasy verse with no real life time period equivalent and i haven't done any research, but i'm SURE that it's historically accurate. To that dark mideval dragon fighting europe period
Same Guy: Where in Europe? Who cares!
Male Writer: There is no better way to introduce a female character to a male character than by him saving her.
Male Writer: Characters hating each other is good sexual tension!
Male Writer: One female character and five male characters is a good team balance
Male Writer: If my female character chooses to act in a sexist tropey way, it's not sexist. In fact, because she CHOSE to do it, it is Feminist.
Male Writer: I am original