do any of u guys wanna be my online sugar daddy legitimately 🥺♥️ will send sexy vids n pics on the regular, talk as much as possible, even down for phone calls or facetimes if we get comfortable enough with each other 💕 DM for serious inquiries only! rly need a daddy to take care of me in these hard times 😞💖

    part of the reason why i’ve always been so weird with making & selling content is i don’t want to be judged negatively for it but idk why i’ve been caring about what anyone thinks of me anyways, like i should be owning it & profiting off of the genes my parents gave me, plus sex workers get praised for what they do & how hot they are like idk what i’m worried about. i know i would kill it if i allowed myself to just be sexy publicly on the internet lol & it makes me so sad that i’ve wasted so much time being worried about shit that doesn’t matter 😭 i need to stop holding myself back immediately

    i finally got a prescription for a medication that actually helps my anxiety and insomnia and it makes a world of a difference i’m over the moon!!! i’m feeling inspired to start making content again as well as do so many other things!!! like i feel way more able to answer people and make art, pursue other hobbies like raising butterflies etc, i’m playing piano right now for the first time in years reteaching myself the songs i used to play n having so much fun i’m so happy :’) 

    i’m so disconnected from everyone these days i truly wonder how i ever got close to anyone in the past. like wow i really had meaningful relationships with people?? how

    the only people i talk to and see nowadays are my dad and my boyfriend. i talk to and see my boyfriend’s family/friends too but it’s not like that’s ever significant or special for the most part

    i’m sitting here lonely wishing i had someone to talk to but at the same time if i had someone to talk to i probably wouldn’t be interested. i act like i have no one to reach out to but in reality i have at least a handful of people i could reach out to at any time, and i don’t do it because at the end of the day i don’t really want to talk to them. idk what’s wrong with me!!! i say this all of the time but i truly wish i could just clone myself n be my own best friend. i’m the only one i know who understands me n can relate lol

    my life would seriously be so much easier and less stressful if my ocd didn’t make me feel the need to organize everything in a particular way lol it affects so many things that you would never even think of unless you had to experience it yourself 😞 and like i could try to let go of that way of thinking but i don’t want to i like it this way?? it’s just so hard to keep up w/

    i feel bad that i don’t update this blog much anymore unless i randomly wanna say something but i miss when i posted regularly and this blog was poppin’ off 😢 i wish that i could clone myself a few times so i could work on this blog and all of the other things i wanna do at once. i’ve been focusing so much on my relationship, my art, and bettering myself mentally and physically that it doesn’t really leave much energy for my online presence, but i hope one day i’ll be mentally healthy enough to juggle everything that i want to accomplish 🥺 it would be so cool if i could manage all of the social media accounts i want to have AND focus on my art AND have a real life... ahhh maybe one day but until then i can dream

    being with someone who understands your mental illnesses and tries to help you with them instead of getting angry or upset with you is literally such a blessing, i’m so thankful to be with such a kind, caring, patient man 🥺♥️ this is the healthiest relationship i’ve ever haddd

    whenever i go home, my boyfriend’s mom will ask him when i’m coming back and say that she misses me bc i’m so pleasant to have around and i just 🥺♥️😭 SO WHOLESOME i’ve never had a significant other whose parents really liked me so i am truly thrilled, i’m starting to feel like she’s a second mom she’s so cute

    i’m soooo thankful for my boyfriend and his family ugh i just stayed at their house for more than a literal fucking month because i love being there so much 🥺💗 i have my own art room there and he and his mom love having me stay over, we’ve actually collectively started calling his room “our” room absentmindedly because it really is lol it makes me so happy. being at home for once is so nice and refreshing though!!! got lots of stuff to take care of as usual but it’s keeping me busy:) i’ve been working on grounding myself and staying in the present moment lately to help my anxiety and it’s really improving my overall mood 🥰 happy 2 b here hope ur all having a wonderful day xox

    in all of my previous relationships i hated when my boyfriends would play video games because that meant they would be ignoring me for hours but in my current relationship i love when my boyfriend plays video games because 1) we spend so much time together when he isn’t playing video games that it’s kinda nice to do our own thing and have some time apart 2) watching him play is FUN and hilarious he’s so fucking funny the way he talks to his friends omg + he’s also really good so it’s just entertaining and 3) even though we are doing our own thing when he plays we are still together in the same room hanging out and he checks in on me/how i’m doing, plus he’s always willing to stop playing if i tell him i’m bored and i want to do something else. this morning he told me i’m spoiled and i asked if he’s mad about it (we were laughing lmao) and he said “no you deserve it” 🥺♥️ i love him 🥰

    i can’t believe i let myself catch feelings for yet ANOTHER guy ugh. it feels nice to have these feelings reciprocated tho 🤗 finally someone who likes me as much as i like them 🎉 he’s so sweet to me i can’t wait to see him again!!! he’s picking me up in a few hours:) i keep thinking abt him and getting butterflies n my heart just feels weird ahh what is happening!!! 😭🥺😭