Wild to think that they had a been in a queer core punk band before. Leather jackets, shredded t-shirts, Doc Martens, dyed hair, nose rings: absolute rebels in every way. Loud, brash, fiercely independent.
Of course, their neighbor was a different sort of man: older, more traditional. And he wanted the men in his neighborhood to be traditional too. He was a retired parapsychologist, a former employee of the state department who worked on one of those secret programs to brainwash people. He had kept quite a bit of his research.
And so, when he hid the radio emitter in the backyard of the punk boys’ house, they never noticed how their brain waves were being subtly reprogrammed into a much more old fashioned way of thinking. Soon, the tattered clothing and denim vests covered in patches were gone. The boys started wearing nice high waisted slacks that came up to their ribs. Every day they buttoned up a dress shirt so sheer, you could see the white a-shirt through it. And of course, this was accompanied by a well tied bow tie. At first the men were confused by this desire, but soon they gave in as their reprogramming went deeper. Now they thought nothing of spending the afternoon ironing their white briefs for the week.
Their neighbor delighted in the change. As he peered out his window, he saw the boys return from a trip to the barbershop. Gone we’re the dyed mullets, replaced by naturally colored quiffs slicked with so much pomade, you could see the reflection of the sky in them. They truly looked as old fashioned as possible.
Soon, they began acting as old fashioned as possible. Their brash rebelliousness nature melted away as they became polite, timid, and meek. They couldn’t even look their neighbor in the eye as they shuffled past him on the street, saying “excuse me sir.” They called him “sir!” Can you believe it? These former rebels now intimidated by their elders!
And while the men had once been loud and proud about their sexuality, it now retreated as they adopted a more traditional attitude towards it. They were practically in the closet, and too chaste to do anything about their desires anyway.
No longer did they attend concerts; instead they attended church. No longer did they listen to punk rock; instead they listened to polka. No longer did they shred on a guitar; now they played accordions at the VFW to entertain the veterans.
The neighbor was impressed at the transformation. He delighted in seeing his neighbors live every day like obedient nerds from the 1950s. Everything had been a success and made some excellent data. The man grinned, knowing he could increase the amplitude on his next design, and soon, every man in town would be living as traditionally as his neighbors.