NSFW 18+ only..New Jersey....if you want your pic taken down just message me...KIK SirMB45

Last update
2020-10-25 01:49:07

    I  love to discover others on Tumblr who live in my area. Nothing is more exciting than to meet other kinksters that live nearby, or explore the possibilities that come along with proximity. If you are a New Jersey resident, like I am, or live in one of its neighboring states, reblog this post, or add a note with the town, county, or zip code you reside in. Let’s see who’s kinky in New Jersey!!



    Union, NJ


    Tranquility, they can both breath better now.


    Intimacy is not a gift. It is achieved, the end of a long road of struggles, obstacles, fears and doubts. It is when trusts blooms, nothing separates, nothing is left to admit, to explain, to articulate. It is nakedness, beauty beyond words, raw and honest, full-frontal clarity. It is a promise, nothing will ever come in between, will diminish this love, this all-embracing destiny to belong to exactly this one, the one for you, the one who finally understands what cannot be said only felt.



    Isn't what you think it is.

    Isn't whats been projected.

    He will war.

    He will fight.

    He will produce.

    He will protect.

    He will provide.

    But what's at his Core?

    What's in him?

    Where does he find his peace?

    In the arms of his queen.

    In the laughter of his children.

    In Gods nature.

    In revelation.

    In learning.

    In laughter.

    Beating your chest doesn't make you a man.

    Smiling does.

    Beating your chest doesn't make you alpha.

    Loving your family does.

    Beating your chest doesn't make you tough.

    Dancing with your queen does.

    Fighting everyone doesn't make you a man.

    Sharing your truth does.

    An ALPHA trains his hands to kill.

    An ALPHA trains his mind for battle.

    An ALPHA gives his woman his heart.

    An ALPHA admits he's afraid.

    An ALPHA tells the truth.

    An ALPHA can sit in peace and listen.

    This image is TRUTH.

    This image is as ALPHA as it gets.


    I cannot stop reading this @nerdy-siren1280 . A must read post! ♥


    This is the best description of what it means to be alpha.

    What say you Alpha Leader @instructor144 ?


    1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

    2. Don’t enter a pool by the stairs.

    3. The man at the BBQ Grill is the closest thing to a king.

    4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

    5. Request the late check-out.

    6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

    7. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.

    8. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.

    9. Play with passion or don’t play at all…

    10. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.

    11. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

    12. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.

    13. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.

    14. You marry the girl, you marry her family.

    15. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.

    16. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.

    17. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.

    18. Never turn down a breath mint.

    19. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.

    20. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.

    21. Thank a veteran. Then make it up to him.

    22. Eat lunch with the new kid.

    23. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.

    24. Ask your mum to play. She won’t let you win.

    25. Manners maketh the man.

    26. Give credit. Take the blame.

    27. Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied.

    28. Write down your dreams.

    29. Take time to snuggle your pets, they love you so much and are always happy to see you.

    30. Be confident and humble at the same time.

    31. If ever in doubt, remember whose son you are and REFUSE to just be ordinary!

    32. In all things lead by example not explanation.

    33. Vulnerability is ok and isnt anything to be ashamed about.

    34. It’s not weak to speak.

    BDSM 101: When A submissive Holds All The Power

    Any wannabe Dominant, who enters your blogspace, barks orders at you, and thinks you are obligated to perform their demands because they know you are a submissive, either does not understand the power dynamics within BDSM, or hopes that YOU do not have a good understanding of them.

    As a submissive, your submission is something that must be given to someone before they obtain any control over you. Until the time you submit to a Dominant of your choosing, nobody should expect that you have any obligation to fulfill their demands, and if they do, you should tell them that they lack understanding of how D/s dynamics work.

    Before submission is offered, all the power in a D/s dynamic belongs to the submissive. It is the Dominant’s task to do what is necessary to earn a submissive’s affection and trust to a degree necessary for the submissive to offer their submission to the Dominant, at which time all the power in the relationship shifts from the submissive, to the Dominant.  After submission has been earned by the Dominant, they may now make whatever demands on their submissive that they wish, and expect them to be performed. (excepting hard limits or instances where the submissive uses their safe word) 

    While holding the power is not intrinsically attractive to a submissive personality within the D/s dynamics, it is nevertheless important for them to wield this power with consistency before they find a Dominant worth submitting to. Standing up to those who don’t respect your submission will help to divide the wheat from the chaff among D types, and help you to attain a Dominant that is more knowledgeable about how BDSM works, and therefore, more likely to give you a fulfilling relationship, whether it is within a single scene, or a lifelong relationship.



    Been reading ur blog. U need to stop calling urself a dom. All this lovey crap makes real doms sick. A sub is not for respecting and loving. A sub is for using and thats what they like. Its fine that u love ur girl, just dont call urself a dom. Real doms show dominance, use there sub and leave her laying like the cunt slut she is. Bein all sweet, and all that does is give her power over u, which makes u not a dom.

    Hi there, Anon. I almost didn’t even dignify this with a response, but I think you’ve actually given me a good opportunity to say something that new doms need to know, so kudos to you. 

    First and foremost, let’s establish something right here and now: You don’t get to tell me what I am, and you are damn sure not the leading authority on what does and does not constitute a dominant. For the record, I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be a dom. I never even thought of myself that way until I met belovedsangi 10 years ago. I always had the characteristics of a dom, sure, but I didn’t ever put that title on myself. That title was given to me by my submissive. SHE is the one who wanted to call me Master, and Sir, and sometimes Daddy. I never told her to do these things. But of course, you probably think I am making my point for you and that if I were a REAL domly dom, I would’ve demanded those things. 

    And that’s where you have a fundamental issue understanding the meaning of the title. So let me help you with that. 

    A dom does not demand respect. He conducts himself in such a way as to be worthy of respect. 

    A dom does not bark commands. His presence is such that he can seduce and command with nothing more than a glance. 

    A dom does not raise his voice. He is the kind of man who gets what he wants without needing to. 

    A dom is not a braggart. He is possessed of a calm, quiet confidence that is evident in his demeanor, the way he walks, the tone of his voice, and all other aspects of him. 

    A dom understands balance. He knows that while a firm hand and discipline are critical in this type of relationship, knowing when to be gentle and understanding is every bit as important. 

    A dom is a gentleman first and foremost. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he is a fancy man who values the finer things in life, but he does understand manners and protocol. He opens the car door for her. He orders for her if she is having trouble deciding. He treats strangers with courtesy and respect. 

    A dom is a protector. He makes sure that his submissive feels safe and protected at all times. This means so much more than just telling her you will protect her. A dom shows her. He keeps a hand on her shoulder or on her waist in crowds so she doesn’t get nervous. He sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door so that he is always between his submissive and an intruder. He walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street so that an errant vehicle will hit him before his submissive. If anything or anyone should threaten his submissive, he must be prepared to fight for her with the ferocity of an alpha wolf. 

    A dom earns her submission. It is not a thing to be demanded, expected, or assumed. And he continues to earn it, each and every day.  

    A dom values her submission. Fully submitting your will and trusting your body and well-being to someone takes a kind of strength most can’t imagine, and a dom never loses sight of that. 

    A dom understands that being a dominant is 10% privilege and 90% responsibility. He is literally taking her life into his hands. He is accepting the most sacred and important thing she has to give. He is taking her burdens and bearing them as his own, always, every day. 

    A dom is consistent. He understands that he can’t just be her protector, lover, confidant, master, etc. when he feels like it. There will be days when a dom is tired. There will be days when he is stressed. There will be days when he is broken. On those days, it is more important than ever for a dom to show his submissive that he is still everything she needs him to be. 

    So what does it mean, then, to be a dom? I get the feeling that you, anon, would say that it’s all about making her kneel, having your way with her, shouting orders and using her. Helpful hint: Any jackass can buy himself a whip and bark commands. That’s not a dom. Don’t get me wrong, I do absolutely have my way with belovedsangi. I love it when she kneels. I love the kinky, rough, mind-blowing sex we have. I love to dominate her in the bedroom. But for every moment of that, there are a hundred moments of holding her, of talking to her, laughing with her, gaming with her. There are a hundred moments of making her feel safe when she is afraid, giving her confidence when she is unsure, comforting her when she feels troubled. Those are all things that a dominant does too. 

    I love my submissive more than I love oxygen. I love my submissive with a fire that can never be extinguished. I value her and respect her in every way. I treat her like a queen and fuck her like a slave. These things don’t make me weak. They don’t make me less of a dominant. These things make me stronger than you can possibly imagine. There is nothing quite so formidable as a dominant who has found the perfect submissive to fuel his fire. Never will you see anyone love so strongly or fight so fiercely. 

    Bottom line, Anon, is this: you sound like a boy playing at being a man. You decided one day that you were sick of women having willpower and a voice of their own, so you decided to call yourself a dominant and seek out some weak-willed submissive who wouldn’t talk back to you or stick up for herself. You are not a dom. You are a jackass with a whip. Classic case of toodomforyou.


    I will repost this every time.


    Wow this is so powerful.. Preach on brother. This is what I am talking about teaching coaching and mentoring. We need to find these would be Dom’s and either weed them out or educate them. Things get so misconstrued at times and sometimes it takes a hard rebuke to set someone on the correct path.


    Found it again so reblogging again…. Forever gonna reblog


    Always reblog


    Thank you for this

    No Contact - No Excuse

    I have recently been chatting with multiple submissive girls who are basically being ignored by their Caregiver. They did nothing wrong. They were not told they were going to be ignored. They just have been without any contact for no particular reason. 

    When you ignore your submissive, whether it is intentional or not, you leave them wondering what they have done wrong. They sit there thinking that there must be something wrong with them that you can so put them from your mind, as they starve for your guidance, love, and support. There is no excuse for it. It’s the age of texting folks. It takes less than 30 seconds to type a phrase like, “Sorry, I don’t mean to ignore you. Just wanted to remind you that I care about you. I’m just terribly busy.” Takes the same 30 seconds to type, “I’m having a hard time with myself right now, and I just need some time to sort it out. I hope you understand.” Any communication of what is going on that requires your absence will mean so much to someone who depends on you so much, and who you have sworn to care for. Don’t ghost on your submissive. Let me say it again for those in the back… DON’T GHOST ON YOUR SUBMISSIVE. If you can’t spare them 30 seconds over a period of several days, you don’t deserve one. 



    If I can get an adult version of something kinda like Tumblr up and running, would you guys be interested?

    Mostly same features but with extra features like…

    No bullying.

    No kids.

    No one under 18.

    Stronger blocking tools.

    All the female associated nipples you can handle.

    Please let me know and PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD!!!


    All genders and orientations would be welcomed.

    More like Tumblr and less like Fet.




    Go on…


    especially if there’s no algorithm and the posts are in chronological order.


    Got no time for fancy algorithms!!!!


    Yes! Passing on!!!


    Just to clarify

    In BDSM there are three separate forms of power exchange. In no particular order:

    • Sadism & Masochism
    • Topping & Bottoming
    • Domination & Submission

    Sadism & Masochism is the exchange of power through pain. Spanking, flogging, whipping, caning, CBT, nipple torture, even rough sex. Like feeling a little pain with your pleasure? You’re a masochist. Does making someone hurt bring you pleasure? You’re a sadist. Can you be both? Absolutely. I think most of us are, in subtle ways. (My Domme pointed out it was rather sadistic of me to tease my dog with a treat to make him do cute tricks.)

    Topping & Bottoming is the exchange of power through sex. One of you is in control of the situation, whether it’s just for this roll in the hay, or every single time with your partner. That person is topping. The passive, or controlled one is bottoming. So if it’s being held down or tied up during sex, or begging for an orgasm, or edging someone until they cry… that is sexual power exchange. Can you be a top and a bottom? Oh, yes, you can. You can even do it in the same romp, if that’s what works for you and your partner.

    Domination & Submission is the exchange of power through emotions and intimacy. D/s (the shorthand for this) is about rules, structure, discipline, and protocol. And that can be as intense as a 24/7 Master/slave relationship, or as simple as calling your husband ‘Sir’ or ‘Daddy’ because he said so. In between is a WORLD of amazing ways to exchange power mentally.

    Rules are set in place with a purpose -not just because they’re sexy. Rules are things like: Check in via text when you leave work (so I know you’re on the road and shouldn’t text). Send a photo of your outfit every morning (so I can see how beautiful you look today, and compliment you). Work out four times a week (because I want to help you stay healthy).

    Protocols are similar, they are standards of behavior, such as the way you talk to and address your partner, hand them a drink, carry yourself when others are around, or present yourself to them in varying situations. Protocols are brilliant for reinforcing the D/s dynamic. Broadly speaking, you’re not often reminded of protocols unless you misstep. So something as simple as remembering to stand to your girlfriend’s left and wait quietly if she’s talking to someone at a party can reinforce your submission to her.

    Discipline is about reinforcing the dynamic and enforcing rules and protocols. Mistakes are made, rules forgotten. We’re all human. That is when discipline comes in. The transgression is addressed, punishment handed out, and then the slate is wiped clean. Add in some affection after the fact and you’ve just reinforced everything you are working towards together. The intimacy required for this is pretty damn intense, and it’s important to know each other well before diving in.

    Structure is key in a D/s dynamic, because without consistency, it can all fall apart. Rules that aren’t enforced are unlikely to be followed. A Dom who allows his sub to get away with everything isn’t likely to keep the respect he has earned. And respect and reverence are part and parcel of the whole kneeling thing. Likewise, a submissive who is constantly fighting the rules she agreed to isn’t respecting the dynamic, and isn’t doing her part to make it work. D/s is a lot of work for both partners, and isn’t something to be jumped into too quickly or taken lightly.


    Now, to review, you can mix and match the forms of power exchange however suits you and your partner(s). And it is often different from one partner to the next. Some people fit the classic roles of Dom/Top/Sadist and Sub/Bottom/Masochist. Some people switch between sadism and masochism, while always remaining a Dom and top. Some people switch between topping and bottoming. Do you see the point I’m getting at here?

    You can be any combination of those six roles in any given relationship, and that includes NOT being one of them, even when, traditionally, the others may apply.

    Wanting to be in control in the bedroom does NOT automatically make you a Dom. (Say it again for the fuckboys in the back.)

    Enjoying rough sex and spanking does NOT automatically make you a sub.

    And you can very well be a Dom who doesn’t physically punish his sub or enjoy rough sex. And you can easily be a submissive who does not get spanked.

    The definition of these terms is much broader than my summary, and will differ from person to person. Don’t pigeonhole yourself by feeling you need to adhere to a stereotypical definition of any of these terms or roles.

    And if you feel I missed something, and it’s possible I did, as this is based entirely on my reading and experiences in my local community, let’s talk about it.


    Sensual Daddy Dom 🇩🇪 Germany


    Just to be clear…

    Dominance isn’t about sex.

    A D/s relationship isn’t about bondage and toys.

    TPE isn’t about keeping a sex slave.

    I post a lot of porn because, well, let’s face it: we all love porn. But the sexual aspect forms such a small part of the whole that I sometimes feel like I’m doing it a disservice with my blog.

    Dominance is being there for her.

    Dominance is working through her meltdowns.

    Dominance is accepting her, especially when she won’t accept herself.

    Dominance is being asked for the millionth time if you love her.

    Dominance is tucking her in at night.

    Dominance is telling her no.

    Dominance is quieting her demons.

    Dominance is being her bastion of strength.

    Dominance is shrugging off her anger and frustration when you do things for her own good.

    Dominance is encouraging her.

    Dominance is comforting her in the middle of the night when she’s had a nightmare.

    Dominance is guiding her.

    Dominance is building her.

    Dominance is love.


    On the flip side, submission is so much more than getting spanked and having orgasms.

    Submission is about being there for him.

    Submission is about being that consistent person for him.

    Submission is building him up and letting him know he’s loved and valued.

    Submission is about listening when you want to speak.

    Submission is about running to the drug store when he is under the weather.

    Submission is helping him get ready for work when he is running late.

    Submission is letting him lead, even when it’s hardest.

    Submission is being his cheerleader.

    Submission is honest, open communication because that’s what he deserves.

    Submission is having his back.

    Submission is being the hand that reaches for his in the middle of the night.

    Submission is so much more than sex and submitting can come in the smallest, simplest ways.


    A “Dom” vs. a “Top”?

    A message from a Follower, abstracted in the interests of privacy …

    “A gentleman asked me today which I preferred, a Dom or a Top? I’m so confused! Can you explain the difference?”

    That’s a great question. So, short answer first …

    A Top is a person who takes the “active” role in the bedroom. Giving the orders, dishing it out, etc. While the “bottom” takes the “passive” role, obeying the orders, taking what the Top dishes out, etc.

    A Dom is someone whose emotional and psychological makeup – his entire character, in effect – is centered around the need to provide structure, focus, and guidance to a submissive. For a Dominant, bedroom kink is nothing more than how people like us have sex; it is nowhere near the totality of it.

    Top: bedroom. Dom: full lifestyle.

    Now, since I am never one to give a short answer when a rambling, verbose answer will do, a few important points:

    Far too many people who self-identify as “Dominants” are really Tops. They lack the psychological makeup and inner landscape to be a Dominant. Not to put too fine a point on it, they just like roughing up and ordering around girls in bed, but like the cachet of saying “I’m a Dominant.” Same with bottoms; far too many confused women who like rough sex see 50 Shades and proclaim “Eureka! I’m a submissive!” The reason this is problematic is, it’s hard to separate the wheat from the chaff. I know several submissive women who fell hard for someone they thought was a Dom, who turned out to be just a bedroom Top. Works the same in reverse; many a Dom has been fooled into thinking that a bottom was a genuine submissive. Hell, I made that mistake myself a couple of times along the way.

    Another unfortunate thing is, there tends to be a certain ill-concealed elitism among “true” Doms and subs when it comes to Tops and bottoms. I won’t lie: I am occasionally guilty of it myself, speaking contemptuously of “he/she is just a bedroom kinkster” (my term for Tops and bottoms). That contempt is really unfair; there’s nothing at all wrong with being a Top or a bottom, as long as they don’t try to gussy it up by trying to claim they are Dominants and submissives.


    Well said


    it has been said though not by me  a top is for a night, a dominant is for as long as he chooses to be your Master and you choose to submit and that a Daddy is forever. I hope that is true


    Reblogging for that last reblog comment by @lorddragonwind. Spot on.


    Reblogged for a Follower who sent a PM for something on this topic.