thirsty-ikea-bug

    I think 2016-style "Men's rights activist" misogyny really did a number on our ability to talk about gender online in ways that we have yet to fully unpack.

    At this point everyone is so jaded from dealing with those trolls that any time a men's issue of any kind is brought up the kneejerk reaction is "ugh, this again! Reverse sexism doesn't exist!" even if nobody said anything about "reverse sexism."

    That's how we got into a situation where a statement like "trans men and tranmascs face specific struggles and prejudices. Maybe we should have a word for that so we can talk about how it affects us" sets off the MRA Troll Alarm and gets everyone on the defensive.

    addithevampire

    Yup. Say “hey I don’t think we should be body-shaming men especially because most of it is just fatphobia and transphobia and intersexism and those are bad regardless of target” and suddenly you’re an incel.

    memeticcontagion

    Oh, hey, an opening to talk about my second most controversial opinion, that men do in fact suffer from gendered issues and that the shitty terrible men's rights movement shouldn't be allowed to erase that.

    Time for anecdote: back in the dinosaurs roamed the earth years, I (a cis woman because it matters here) was on a forum and ended up starting a thread for men to talk about issues that affected men, because some men had said they wouldn't feel comfortable starting a thread like that. A lot of men jumped in and started talking and it was--eye-opening.

    They talked about the way they had to perform their gender roles around other men, because they'd get endlessly mocked if they ordered a slightly girly drink. They talked about how they had to perform their gender roles around women, because anecdata had taught them that even if a woman said it was all right for a man to be emotional, she'd change the way she treated him if he cried in front of her. They talked about concern and confusion about their sexualities and the way it was often framed as predatory. They talked about how hard it was for them to make close friends or show emotions, how they had to police their own fashion, how platonic love wasn't ever seen as an option for them.

    There were guys in there who said things I disagreed with and guys in there who painted women with a broad enough brush that it made me defensive and I don't remember all the details, but it was genuinely humbling to listen to these dudes talk about their experiences as men, what being men meant to them and how hard it was sometimes to be a man.

    All that story to say, I think men (in the very broadest sense of the term) should be able to talk about the gendered issues they experience! And, as a treat, I think they should be able to talk about those experiences without having to 'acknowledge their privilege' or act as though they are lucky to be allowed space for their concerns. They shouldn't have to reveal whether or not they're cis either!

    And when men have a concern, they shouldn't need to couch it in terms of trans men or their own transness to be able to talk about it. They shouldn't have to talk about their race or their sexuality or their health to be heard, as if we're all playing marginalization bingo and the person with the highest score gets to have their issues acknowledged as real. People should be able to say 'I'm a man and this is an issue/concern/experience I have specifically because of that' end statement no qualifiers needed and people should be able to acknowledge that as a real issue.

    I see so many posts that are like 'some of you need to remember that when you're talking about men you're also talking about trans men' and I think we, the collective we, should maybe instead say 'the way some of y'all talk about men is messed up.'

    because otherwise I swear people end up making posts with the thought process: 'well if I just remember to exclude trans men, in a way that /totally/ makes it sound like I think they're still men, just not, you know, the /bad/ kind, I can be really shitty towards a group of people! Hurray!'. There are people out there who really want to learn the rules of harassment like a D&D rules lawyer, trying to find the group of people they're allowed to fat-shame or mock or just plain hate.

    I don't have a good ending for this, it's just a long, somewhat connected rant. If you're a man reading this, the issues you experience due to your gender are not trivial and deserve to be acknowledged and addressed.

    got cornflakes for fried chicken & the back of the box has its own recipe. easy as pie. "rinse chicken tenders with cold water and coat with crushed kelloggs corn flakes cereal." and then cook. no binding agent. no seasoning. nothing but a pile of flavorless chicken with a side of the extra-dried-out cornflakes that fell off it. serve warm with your favorite dipping sauce. doesnt even say serve hot. Serve Warm. wouldnt wanna get too wild with it. truly this is the spirit of cornflakes

    charlesoberonn

    New wacky romance manga: A teenage boy gets locked in a bomb shelter with his crush after a false alarm for a nuclear war. The boy later finds out about the alarm being false but he tells the girl the world ended because she said she'll only ever date him "if he was the last man on Earth".

    charlesoberonn

    New disturbing psychological horror manga: A teenage girl gets locked up in a bomb shelter with one of her classmates after the world ends in a nuclear war. Despite her reservations, the two start to get closer. But there's something off about the whole situation. And her classmate is definitely hiding something.

    mylordshesacactus

    #this is such a concise illustration of narrative framing thanks op

    one-time-i-dreamt

    I was on Tumblr and the new thing was to say “bim” which stood for “better in memory”. So everyone in their posts were like “JK Rowling is such a bimmy stop defending her in 2022,” and, “You guys remember Voltron? I wish I didn’t. #bim" 

    zesortinge

    So if something was wonderful the first time you experienced it then years later you experienced it again but it was awful it would be #bim?

    the-home-kvetch

    This is a good acronym and we should use it.

    thegoodlittlechickens

    I went to Auckland museum finally got to see some moa skeletons! I literally couldn’t talk, I love them so much. I think my reflection in the glass says it all lol

    Also just look at this fucken cowboy!!!

    thegoodlittlechickens

    This is the best addition that could have ever been made to my post. Thank you for your service @i-draws-dinosaurs