@spidermonkey40s
Nothing Important

Husband, father, 40s. Chauffeur. Mostly reblogs of cute things, art, superheroes. Occasional original content. Icon by Mabychan

Posts
77124
Last update
2022-08-12 04:26:50
    insomniac-arrest

    bard is a combat class which is true bc I’ve never met anyone in marching band that didn’t want to throw down

    tyrannosaurus-rex

    playing tuba in marching band means you can power walk 2 miles backwards on your toes in 16 minutes whithout bending your knees while carrying a 35lb blunt metal object with your arms held at right angles and blasting every extra gulp of oxygen you can spare without asphyxiating to make sounds loud enough to deafen the dead in an an act of pure unchristian violence, your bard is the party member who will teach you how to kill god by example

    i like that the entire plot of homestuck only happened bc 12 burnout college aged trolls spent the whole game arguing and fucking each other instead of actually playing and fucked up so bad they restarted the cosmos and started a chain of events that led to the creation of 3 other universes and several malevolent gods just to finally get the right combination of players to actually finish the game

    kaity--did

    Today I learned that my husband keeps a notes app on his phone that has a list of all of my favorite things including but not limited to flower, ice cream, and cocktail and I don’t know how I feel about it 😂

    kaity--did

    Oh listen I know this is very very sweet because again Husband is rocks for brain bubble man. It is hilarious to me because the list has things like

    “Favorite ice cream: butter pecan. I married a little old lady.”

    “Favorite Ben and Jerry’s (this is different then regular ice cream) Phish Food. Has no idea who Phish is just thinks the chocolate fish are neat”

    And I feel exposed.

    kaity--did

    “Favorite flower: orchid or lily, but she can have neither because our cats are stupid demon babies spat out from hell who will eat them and perish. She would prefer chicken nuggets anyways.”

    “Favorite donut: old fashioned, for breaking in half and sharing with with the dog.”

    “Favorite coffee: iced. Do not offer hot coffee under any circumstance. The only hot beverage allowed is hot coco and the yearly white chocolate peppermint mocha”

    Okay I don’t need to be called out like this.

    ruffboijuliaburnsides

    the mortifying ordeal of being married.

    kaity--did

    Stop it this is hilarious