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2021-06-18 19:14:32

    🔥🌞Things to do for Litha/ the Summer Solstice 🌼🔥

    Litha, the Summer solstice, or midsummer, is the time when the sun is at its highest in the sky and marks the beginning of summer. It is a time to celebrate the sun, fire and the coming of a bountiful harvest. Litha is celebrated from June 19-23 🌿💛

  • Fire and sun rituals
  • Build a bonfire
  • Dance, sing, play music
  • Spells for abundance, prosperity, growth, healing, protection and vitality
  • Practice Self love, acceptance and care
  • Arts and crafts incorporating flowers, herbs, the sun and fire
  • Watch a sunrise/sunset
  • Bathe in sunlight, take a walk/run
  • Wear yellow, green and gold
  • Tend to gardens and fields
  • Plant flowers and herbs associated with the sun
  • Decorate your altar
  • Meditate
  • Make sun water
  • Practice fire divination
  • Embrace nature
  • Cook and Bake, Have a feast
  • Soft and wholesome Litha activities:

  • make flower crowns
  • dance with bare feet in the grass
  • go swimming while the sun rises
  • make honey cakes
  • eat a lot of fresh fruits
  • lay in the sun(with sunblock)
  • make smores over a bonfire
  • pick wildflowers
  • run and dance with the wind
  • take a nap in the fresh air
  • open your windows if it’s not too hot
  • sing with the birds
  • play with the bees
  • embrace nature as freely as you please
  • Summer solstice honey cakes ☀️🌻

    Happy summer solstice! Here’s a recipe to honour the day:

    (Makes about 30 cupcakes or 2 big cakes)

    Ingredients:

    Cake:

    450g plain flour

    225g butter

    4 tbsp honey

    150g sugar

    1 tsp baking powder

    1 tsp cinnamon

    1 tsp salt

    4 eggs

    250 ml milk

    1 tsp vanilla extract

    Icing:

    150g icing sugar

    20 ml water

    1 tsp cinnamon

    As much honey as you want

    Lavender (optional)

    1. Lay out cake cases or grease your tray if you are making one big cake and preheat your oven to 180C/350F

    2. Mix the flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and salt together

    3. Add the eggs, honey, butter, milk and vanilla extract and mix until smooth

    4. Put the mixture into whatever you are baking it in

    5. Bake for 20mins (cupcakes) or 40mins (big cake)

    6. Whilst cakes are baking prepare your icing. Mix together the icing sugar, water, cinnamon and honey until smooth. Add more water if you need to.

    7. Once the cakes are done, take them out and leave to cool

    8. When the cakes are cool, drizzle the icing onto them. Add lavender if you wish

    9. Eat!

    If we define grooming as twisting the perception of the victim so that whatever heinous act abuser wants to do to them, becomes normal and acceptable, then all cases of child abuse involve grooming. Every child who has been abused has experienced some level of normalization of abuse, there’s no abuser who will allow the child to learn that hitting, molestation, emotional exploitation, coercion and hatred is wrong and unacceptable. It’s always the opposite, these are presented as normal and even desirable, and the child doesn’t have a choice but to accept this worldview, because they don’t have any reference, and can only assume that the adult they depend on for survival is telling them the truth. After all, why would they lie? It sounds unbelievable they would twist and cover the truth up just to get away with horrifying acts of abuse. Yet, that’s exactly what they do.

    Grooming is not something an individual can easily fight or escape. In fact, every single victim of grooming I talked to, had absolutely no way to reject it or get out of it. Groomers make sure their victims are either completely in their control (close family members), or in such desperate situations they can’t afford to lose the abuser (where victims traumatized and isolated individuals who were previously groomed as well). Being groomed is always completely out of victim’s control, they find themselves in a situation they cannot navigate or manage, all they can do is feel the rising dread and panic as they’re inevitably trapped and pulled into their worst nightmare. Of course, in case of children, they often wont even be aware of what is being done to them, until after it’s long over and they get to start processing it. When that happens, they will struggle immensely with separating the right from wrong, and trying to figure out their own feelings towards the abuser.

    Realizing you’ve been groomed, as horrifying as it is to acknowledge this, takes responsibility away from you. It means things you did and accepted were result of a situation abuser specifically manufactured to make you accept them. In every case of grooming, it’s done to establish and keep complete control of the victim, and even though it’s awful to be aware you’ve been thru abuse where you had no control over anything that happened to you, you should know that this means none of it was your fault, either. You did nothing wrong. You did not deserve this. It was wrong to do any of this to you.

    this whole thing where the definition of grooming is reduced and relegated specifically to “the stereotypical situation where a predictably creepy unrelated adult pursues a very small child” in order to play into the narrative of “sexual independence” is so fucking harmful. grooming can occur in so fucking many situations and there’s a reason many people don’t recognize that it’s happening until it’s too late. it can happen to small kids, it can happen to pre-teens, it can happen to teenagers, it can even happen to teens who might almost be adults at the hands of someone with enough power over them. a 17 year-old is not going to have equal power when a 30 year-old is plying them with gifts, attention, and “guidance.” acting like these abusive dynamics are isolated and unrelated to the act of child grooming does a disservice to countless victims and makes them feel invalidated and unheard.

    Coping Mechanisms Masterlist

    Thoughts to break the cycle

  • this is temporary if I believe it is
  • I AM NOT my perception, or my thoughts
  • I am the observer of the thoughts
  • my mind is protecting me and is stressed from not knowing how to fix it. Thank you for protecting me but it will be okay
  • the negative thoughts are just a symptom of depression, dissociation/dpdr, c-ptsd, or anxiety or all of the above
  • thoughts are just like another one of the 5 senses. Like how you can perceive textures, smells, tastes, sounds. Your thoughts allow you to perceive an experience. But you are not your nose. You are not your mouth. You are not your ears. You are not your hand it’s just a hand that’s connected to your body. And so You are not your thoughts. You’re the one experiencing these sensations you are not the sensations.
  • Even if you genetically are predisposed or your genetics or brain chemistry has caused the issue. Especially in this case your thoughts do not define who you are they are just a reaction your brain is creating to protect you from something it thinks is a threat.
  • self hate and depression is a coping mechanism: your body wants you to be better, to be perfect to avoid something negative that hurts and self hate is the way it decided to go but it doesn’t have to be that way. Tell your mind “thank you” and “I love you but it’s okay.” “We are safe” and “I am enough.”
  • I try to remember my goals: how I want to be happy, the things I want to add to my life that will make me feel calmer and happier. (If you don’t have any goals or ideas think of anything you want in this world to achieve, or learn, or earn and write it down and imagine how it would feel if you had it right now. It helps push you to realize you can shape your life how you want)
  • that someone in this world loves you. If you can’t name anyone. Your own body loves you. It keeps you alive and gives you the ability to experience things like eating yummy food, being able to pet an animal and feel how soft their fur is, being able to look up at the sky and see stars or clouds. Simple every day things that we take for granted because we get so stressed out from life and drama. Sometimes we forget we could lose our eyesight and we wouldn’t be able to see things or people that we love. We could get injured and never be able to walk, run or jump again. We could lose our ability to breathe and be hooked up to a ventilator. I like to write down anything I can think of to be grateful for everyday in my journal and it makes me feel less depressed, less anxious,and excited to be able to just .. be alive especially when I want to not be alive anymore
  • I remind myself that when I was a baby I didn’t have any thoughts I didn’t know shit. The way I grew up and had to experience life made it so I perceive life the way I do. I like to imagine if I was a blank slate what are the different ways I could look at my life? What are the ways I can decide to look at situations or myself? People don’t just wake up and love themselves they were taught to feel loved. Just like how we don’t wake up with these negative self hateful thoughts. We got them from somewhere. We can choose if we want to still believe our perceptions or not. But learning to be happy and to love ourself is like a skill. Just like how learning to hate ourselves took time and repeated experiences.
  • Self care / Self love activities

  • imagining an older version of myself comforting present me. And imagining myself currently to comfort past me during traumatic moments
  • bubble baths
  • napping with soothing audios, or sleep meditations
  • walking outside
  • calling a friend
  • visiting a family member or friend
  • Write yourself a note when you’re happy to yourself and read it when you’re upset
  • Make a voice memo give future you a pep talk, positive affirmations, or even guided meditations and listen to it when you’re upset
  • lighting a candle and writing down an intention and meditating or you can pray if you believe in a god or have a religion. Or if you just believe in the universe and law of attraction
  • journaling
  • cleaning or tidying up a little
  • eating a yummy but healthy snack
  • cooking or baking
  • (if I’m severely not okay) holding an ice cube, running my hands in cold water and splashing the water in my face, taking a cold shower, taking a rubber band on my wrist and snapping it back
  • reading a book
  • watching my favorite tv show or movie
  • watching a comedy
  • playing music and forcing myself to dance (when I’m alone of course 😅)
  • yoga
  • exercising
  • watching cute animal videos on YouTube
  • Singing in the shower
  • Adult coloring books
  • some type of video about philosophy that reminds me that I’m not alone and we are all lost
  • some type of video that reminds me how beautiful life can be
  • some type of video that reminds me that I’m not in control of my circumstance, my genetics, or the world but I’m in control of how I react that I’m the one that gives power to my thoughts
  • Breaking thought patterns, bad habits and doing self care every day helps immensely. Over time it gets easier and easier to feel okay and to even feel happy. But never stop doing these things for the rest of your life. You either feed the negative thoughts or you feed the positive. You either feed the negative habits or you feed the bad. You get to choose. Seek help, and be gentle with yourself. Healing isn’t linear.

    Something people don’t understand about child abuse

    One of the things that I really hate is that people don’t understand that survivors act differently and respond to their traumas in different ways.

    I’m a survivor of csa and so is my friend. Her trauma made her extremely hypersexual while I could literally cry if someone even touched me.

    My bf is a survivor of csa, I can talk for hours about my trauma if I felt safe enough while he NEVER brings it up.

    A friend of mine is a survivor of emotional abuse and so am I. Her trauma made her angry while mine made me soft and defenseless.

    My bf remembers every little detail about his trauma, while I repressed most of my childhood and traumas.

    There’s no special “criteria” that you should fill in order to be a “valid” survivor, and there’s no specific way you should act if you were abused.

    People respond to their traumas differently and it’s okay, your abuse is STILL valid no matter how you respond to it.

    In 2005, when Hovak Johnston heard that the last Inuk woman tattooed in the traditional way had died, she set out to tattoo herself and learn how to tattoo others.

    What was at first a personal quest became a project to bring the art of traditional tattooing back to Inuit women across Nunavut, starting in the community of Kugluktuk.

    With the rise of missionaries and residential schools in the North, the tradition of tattooing was almost lost. Now, there are HUNDREDS of Inuit women with traditional tattoos.

    ( photo taken from Inuit Tattoo Revitalization Project page)