wicca, witchcraft, art, writing, cottagecore
wicca, witchcraft, art, writing, cottagecore
š„šThings to do for Litha/ the Summer Solstice š¼š„
Litha, the Summer solstice, or midsummer, is the time when the sun is at its highest in the sky and marks the beginning of summer. It is a time to celebrate the sun, fire and the coming of a bountiful harvest. Litha is celebrated from June 19-23 šæš
Soft and wholesome Litha activities:
Summer solstice honey cakes āļøš»
Happy summer solstice! Hereās a recipe to honour the day:
(Makes about 30 cupcakes or 2 big cakes)
450g plain flour
4 tbsp honey
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt
250 ml milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
150g icing sugar
20 ml water
1 tsp cinnamon
As much honey as you want
1. Lay out cake cases or grease your tray if you are making one big cake and preheat your oven to 180C/350F
2. Mix the flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and salt together
3. Add the eggs, honey, butter, milk and vanilla extract and mix until smooth
4. Put the mixture into whatever you are baking it in
5. Bake for 20mins (cupcakes) or 40mins (big cake)
6. Whilst cakes are baking prepare your icing. Mix together the icing sugar, water, cinnamon and honey until smooth. Add more water if you need to.
7. Once the cakes are done, take them out and leave to cool
8. When the cakes are cool, drizzle the icing onto them. Add lavender if you wish
If we define grooming as twisting the perception of the victim so that whatever heinous act abuser wants to do to them, becomes normal and acceptable, then all cases of child abuse involve grooming. Every child who has been abused has experienced some level of normalization of abuse, thereās no abuser who will allow the child to learn that hitting, molestation, emotional exploitation, coercion and hatred is wrong and unacceptable. Itās always the opposite, these are presented as normal and even desirable, and the child doesnāt have a choice but to accept this worldview, because they donāt have any reference, and can only assume that the adult they depend on for survival is telling them the truth. After all, why would they lie? It sounds unbelievable they would twist and cover the truth up just to get away with horrifying acts of abuse. Yet, thatās exactly what they do.
Grooming is not something an individual can easily fight or escape. In fact, every single victim of grooming I talked to, had absolutely no way to reject it or get out of it. Groomers make sure their victims are either completely in their control (close family members), or in such desperate situations they canāt afford to lose the abuser (where victims traumatized and isolated individuals who were previously groomed as well). Being groomed is always completely out of victimās control, they find themselves in a situation they cannot navigate or manage, all they can do is feel the rising dread and panic as theyāre inevitably trapped and pulled into their worst nightmare. Of course, in case of children, they often wont even be aware of what is being done to them, until after itās long over and they get to start processing it. When that happens, they will struggle immensely with separating the right from wrong, and trying to figure out their own feelings towards the abuser.
Realizing youāve been groomed, as horrifying as it is to acknowledge this, takes responsibility away from you. It means things you did and accepted were result of a situation abuser specifically manufactured to make you accept them. In every case of grooming, itās done to establish and keep complete control of the victim, and even though itās awful to be aware youāve been thru abuse where you had no control over anything that happened to you, you should know that this means none of it was your fault, either. You did nothing wrong. You did not deserve this. It was wrong to do any of this to you.
this whole thing where the definition of grooming is reduced and relegated specifically toĀ āthe stereotypical situation where a predictably creepy unrelated adult pursues a very small childā in order to play into the narrative of āsexual independenceā is so fucking harmful. grooming can occur in so fucking many situations and thereās a reason many people donāt recognize that itās happening until itās too late. it can happen to small kids, it can happen to pre-teens, it can happen to teenagers, it can even happen to teens who might almost be adults at the hands of someone with enough power over them. a 17 year-old is not going to have equal power when a 30 year-old is plying them with gifts, attention, andĀ āguidance.ā acting like these abusive dynamics are isolated and unrelated to the act of child grooming does a disservice to countless victims and makes them feel invalidated and unheard.
Coping Mechanisms Masterlist
Thoughts to break the cycle
Self care / Self love activities
Breaking thought patterns, bad habits and doing self care every day helps immensely. Over time it gets easier and easier to feel okay and to even feel happy. But never stop doing these things for the rest of your life. You either feed the negative thoughts or you feed the positive. You either feed the negative habits or you feed the bad. You get to choose. Seek help, and be gentle with yourself. Healing isnāt linear.
Something people donāt understand about child abuse
One of the things that I really hate is that people donāt understand that survivors act differently and respond to their traumas in different ways.
Iām a survivor of csa and so is my friend. Her trauma made her extremely hypersexual while I could literally cry if someone even touched me.
My bf is a survivor of csa, I can talk for hours about my trauma if I felt safe enough while he NEVER brings it up.
A friend of mine is a survivor of emotional abuse and so am I. Her trauma made her angry while mine made me soft and defenseless.
My bf remembers every little detail about his trauma, while I repressed most of my childhood and traumas.
Thereās no special ācriteriaā that you should fill in order to be a āvalidā survivor, and thereās no specific way you should act if you were abused.
People respond to their traumas differently and itās okay, your abuse is STILL valid no matter how you respond to it.
In 2005, when Hovak Johnston heard that the last Inuk woman tattooed in the traditional way had died, she set out to tattoo herself and learn how to tattoo others.
What was at first a personal quest became a project to bring the art of traditional tattooing back to Inuit women across Nunavut, starting in the community of Kugluktuk.
With the rise of missionaries and residential schools in the North, the tradition of tattooing was almost lost. Now, there are HUNDREDS of Inuit women with traditional tattoos.
( photo taken from Inuit Tattoo Revitalization Project page)