finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester

    like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you


    humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?

    evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise* 

    Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:

  • Periods
  • Bad backs
  • Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned
  • Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems
  • Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less
  • Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now
  • Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing
  • •Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.

    •Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.

    •Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.

    •knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.

    truer words

    “I know what you are doing flexing your little ass, babygirl.”

    *Flutter eyelashes* “Excuse me, Daddy?”

    “You’re trying to get Daddy’s cock hard.”

    “Hehe…and it’s working, Daddy. I can feel it.”

    “You are such a cute little slut.”

    “Mmm…uh huh. I love being a little slut in Daddy’s lap. My poor Daddy. Getting all big and hard. Don’t worry, I’ll make it feel all better if you let me. Can I please suck your big, hard, swollen cock Daddy?”

    My Dream🥺

    He has me tied down to the bed, my hands above my head and my feet spread for his viewing pleasure. I'm face down so he can see me drip and my hole flutter while he has a remote-controlled vibrator inside my princess parts. He's toying with me by playing around with the intensity of the vibe and speed as well. Somehow, he knows just when I am about to come so he always slows it down til I can barely feel it or completely stops, edging me. He's edging me and babygirl doesn't know how much longer she can take it. I'm trembling and perspiring all over that it looks like I'm glowing. I'm begging and pleading him to let me come for him but he is silent until he turns the vibrator up to the highest speed and highest intensity. My eyes roll to back of my head and I scream begin to whimper wantonly 'Fuck! Oh fuck, stop, stop'. He doesn't stop, he's still silent just watching me lose my shit while he's enjoying the fact he can make me this way by his hand. I finally start sobbing from frustration 'Am I not a good girl?' and then I hear him get up and walk near me, I turn my head to him and sob 'Please, please, I'll be so good, mmh. Sir, please.' I them feel him circle the pad of his thumb over my hole, a sound of relief leave my lips as I raise my hips up higher in the air, I brokenly moan for him. He finally takes out the vibrator while at the same time his cock enters my princess parts with a smooth thrust while his thumb enters my hole. Unable to hold it in any longer, my body starts to shake and I come on a silent scream..