Thoughts from a Cephalopod

Just a humble octopus  

Last update
2021-10-28 03:31:47

    It’s not quite a transcript, but here’s the main points:

  • BetterHelp is selling your mental health information to pinterest, snapchat and facebook.
  • BetterHelp is paying its therapists very little - including getting paid per word WITH A CAP. At some point they stop paying for another word. Which puts a therapist in a bind: should they keep doing their work for free or should they withdraw support from someone that needs it?
  • BetterHelp is creating the expectation that help is available at all time. Which sounds great, but one of the points of therapy is to create self-reliance. Also: therapists need boundaries too!
  • BetterHelp is funded by billionaires and millionaires who care primarily about turning a profit for their investors. Not about the therapists. Or the patients/clients.
  • So: do not use Better Help, but look for another source.


    I have tried them and one thing that’s not mentioned here is they are terrible! Decent therapists can obviously peddle their mental wares for a better price at a legitimate facility, the people who work here have worse skills than a call centre advisor. They took my money immediately then didn’t respond for days. When I sent a message checking they’d got my message as I was dangerously depressed and wasn’t sure when to expect a response, the first message from my ‘therapist’ was downright rude and unpleasant. She talked to me like shit. She basically guilt-tripped me for messaging her when she was busy, even though at that point we’d never spoken before!

    Then I had to fight for a refund of hundreds of pounds.

    Do not use BetterHelp.


    I tried using BetterHelp once. It was terrible.

    My “therapist” told me it was all in my head.

    Like… yes, thank you. I know. It’s called Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Now please help me cope with the Depression Spiral I’m in.

    Then told me to just “get over it” and that I was being unreasonable.

    Genuinely a horrible service. -10/10. Do not recommend.


    Person holding Skeleton (S): I have a joke for you :)

    Person in Boo Hat (H): What?

    S: What is a skeleton’s favorite snack? :3

    H: I dunno… [go on guess] …death? [Noo….go on…GUESS!] Hckhhgh I dunno.

    (H starts to giggle)

    S: Come on…GUESS! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!? I haven’t told the punchline yet! What is a skeleton’s. Favorite. SNACK!? GUESS!

    H: [still giggling] You’re putting a lot of pressure-

    S: GUESS! FUCK! [slams skeleton’s head against crate] GUESS! GUESS GOD DAMN YOU! WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER ME!? WHAT IS MY FAVORITE SNACK?!

    H: [laughing] Bones?

    S: NO!!! [slams against another crate] NO!!! WHAT IS IT!? WHY MUST YOU FAIL ME SO OFTEN?!

    H: [holding face and laughing quietly]

    S: ………… [yelling at the top of their lungs] RIBS!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARE RIBS!!! FUCK!!!


    Always reblog the classic


    bringing this back


    There are very few things I will never not reblog, and this is one of them. I can’t watch this without laughing.


    Need Tumblr to understand that you are a marine biologist only if you study lads and urchins in the seas and oceans. If you study hooligans and whippersnappers in a lake or river you are in fact not a marine biologist, you are a limnologist.


    Are there any benefits to being a limnologist?


    The benefits to being a limnologist are limnited


    steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual


    he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone


    he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws