@time-has-worn-me-away
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead

I think I made you up inside my head.

Posts
67300
Last update
2020-09-25 22:53:37
    thestuffedalligator

    O Brother Where Art Thou’s “Odyssey but in 1930s America” is a fantastic take, and I wish that more movies jumped on the “epic poem but make it period piece” train

    Dante’s Inferno, but make it Old West

    Iliad, but make it New York streetgangs

    Beowulf, but make it 1980s monster movie

    mistressofthemoss

    YES, i need to see Beowulf as a gothic horror 

    wwarborday

    Epic of Gilgamesh, but like. A 2000s buddy comedy. 

    youeitherskateoryoudie-deactiva

    i hate when ur in public somewhere and something goes mildly wrong/something inconvenient happens and the nearest baby boomer tries to get you to complain with them

    28-larry

    what does this even mean

    youeitherskateoryoudie

    EXAMPLE:

    you are in line at mcdonalds. its really busy and the employees are overwhelmed. it’s taking a long time. you are minding your own business. the old man in line next to you says to you, “boy, this is absolutely ridiculous, isn’t it? these kids working just dont know what they’re doing. Or they just dont care…” you awkwardly nod and take a step to the side

    gallusrostromegalus

    This has probably been said a million times before but:  Defend the employees.

    Really, you’re never going to see Karen from Stubenville again in your life, so side-eye her real good and say:

    “It’s not thier fault they’re understaffed. Having worked retail before, they’d love to have another three or five people back there helping out.  But since the whole ‘downsizing’ craze of the ninties, companies try to get as much out of thier employees as possible without regard for thier welfare, or the effect on service.  You should really get on McD’s website and complain about the chronic understaffing and tell them you’re willing to pay more elsewhere for better service.  They LISTEN to people like you.”

    People love to complain, especially entitled people.  The good news is that they’re easily redirected with mild praise and a shiny new target.  Butter the elders and aim them at the bourgoise.

    smallest-feeblest-boggart

    aim them at the bourgeoisie

    asinine-sunshine

    GO 👏 THE 👏 FUCK 👏 OFF. Also, the American educational system is trash. I applaud this child’s parents for giving her a voice and standing up against bias authority.

    nerdyblackfangirl

    (Can someone caption this?)

    nico-incognito

    Classroom full of mostly black and brown students:

    Black student: [unintelligible—and then]  …and then throwing everything away beneath it because it doesn’t pertain to you. I’m sorry —

    White teacher: —you know what, I’m sorry -I’m sorry…

    Black student: —No, no, no…I let you talk -I let you talk, you’re gonna let me talk.

    [Other students gasps]

    White student: Go ahead. Finish.

    Black student: I’m sorry that this is the way that it is. You’re right, it is fucked up. But white people control everything…and that’s not fair. And when anybody, any other minority tries to say anything about it or change it, we’re complaining or we’re ungrateful or all this other stuff because we still have this or that. But then you say something about ‘Oh, I don’t want—there’s too many Latinos and there’s too many—’

    White teacher: I didn’t say that—

    [Various students disagree]

    White teacher: I said I want to control the border!

    Black student: You said you don’t want this to turn into a Latin country because there’ll be too many 

    White teacher: I did not say that.

    [Various students disagree]

    Student 2: You said you want to preserve the American culture.

    Black student: There is no American culture. American culture is EVERYTHING.

    [Various students agree]

    Random: Mayonnaise!

    [Students laugh]

    Black student: And because you are white and so closed-minded, you refuse to accept that, you refuse to accept

    White teacher: Don’t tell me I’m closed-minded—

    Black student: Everything you’ve said to me is closed-minded.

    White teacher: Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I’m closed-minded.

    Black student: You don’t need to agree—I -I’ve had conversations with people that don’t agree with me, but if they at least listen and try to accept—you’re not accepting the truth.

    White teacher: Why do I have to accept what you think is right?

    Black student: You need to accept the truth! Not what I think is right, what is actually happening right

    White teacher: Well, let me tell you what I think. You said white people have been in control of everything….who is the president of the United States right now?!

    Students: A black man!

    *Various sounds of incredulity*

    Black student: WITH A WHITE CONGRESS! WITH A WHITE SENATE! WITH WHITE EVERYTHING ELSE! HE DOESN’T HAVE THE CONTROL OF EVERYTHING!

    Random: GO OFF

    Other Random: GO OFF

    *The class is in an uproar*

    Random student: YOU ARE SO PRIVILEGED THAT YOU JUST DON’T SEE IT!

    White teacher: Do we have to yell?!

    Black student: Yes, because I’m mad.

    suitepetite

    Reblogging for the captioning. Thanks!

    imthebadguythatsfine

    Yes QUEEN oh my god she’s such a role model

    bad-puns-n-finger-guns

    ABSOLUTE QUEEN. We need her as a president. I bet America would be a better place if she was president.

    systlin

    But seriously, if alien PLANTS ever show up, citrus and oaks are going to be trying to breed with them IMMEDIATELY. 

    We make fun of ourselves for being willing to fuck aliens, but I guarantee you that citrus and oaks are right there with us, aggressively trying to cross-pollinate with any new and interesting conquests. 

    jungwildeandfree

    all this time, the real whores were the lemons, not the women who stole them 

    celtic-pyro

    Free him!

    lyromada

    When getting housing for a pet, please remember to get the homes of an adequate size. This is abuse

    anonymouscomrade

    knights need at least a 5x5 enclosure in order to keep their stress levels manageable, and honestly that’s pushing it. 10x10 is a much more humane minimum, and you should allow them more if you can spare it, as knights enjoy “touring” around their enclosures and more space means a longer tour. if you don’t have the space a knight requires, consider adopting a bishop or a rook instead

    lurker-lenore

    I hate this because a chessboard is 8x8.

    darkvioletcloud

    Chessboards are torture for knights!!

    silly-jellyghoty

    For those who are considering enrichments for their knights, here are some ideas you may consider if you:

  • Wish to add long roadtrips to your knight's daily excercise
  • Need them to develop some muscle mass and increase their stamina
  • Want to introduce more knights to the herd
  • Or just feel like redecorating their standard size enclosure
  • billandtedsexcellentgaymarriage

    cannae even put into words how much i love the 9th doctor. he really was just out there loving humanity that son of a bitch

    billandtedsexcellentgaymarriage

    the ninth doctor really be out here like “in nine hundred years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before” and “i could save the world but lose you” and “you were fantastic! and you know what? so was i!” and “i’m so glad i met you” and “just this once, everybody lives!” and “you’re amazing, the lot of you” and “and if you wanna remember me there’s one thing you can do: have a good life” and i’m supposed to just watch that and not cry? how