im doing mee for mee

insta: smadarik_ Israeli. ישראלית. 20 y/o. cis- girl. un-straight. my name is Smadar. its from the bible, the Song of Songs. means the very young stages of the grapevine fruit. side blog for my poetry is poetryjustformeandyou. ethnicaly jewish. non religious, though i celebrate the holdays. i speak Hebrew and English. living in Israel. the original content: non lol. idgaf i reblog funny stuff i like, social issues (feminism, racism, classism, lgbtq+ rights, ableism....) and politics (leffftist) philosophy, poetry and wise quotes i find, anything beautiful i like, history, science, culture, movies, books, pschology, sociology, media analysis, anything really. this is a personal blog. im free to chat (: id love to get to know some people here.

Last update
2022-06-23 18:34:18

    I scroll through my dash. I read six posts. I think to myself, “What are you people even talking about?!” six times. I continue scrolling. Eventually I find a post that makes me think, “Ah perfectly understandable,” and I reblog it. The post in question would only make sense to someone whose brain has been rotted by unfunny memes and fanfic tropes for upwards of a decade and would never be said in a face to face interaction. I make a post about my day. Five mutuals like it as a way of saying they care about me. I get an anon explaining the racial discourse in a fandom I’m not in. “Um, cool, thanks I guess?” I respond. I never asked. Five hours later, I get three more anons from another source explaining that the first callout post was riddled with inaccuracies. I delete the first anon. There is a picture of a snail with a trail behind it, and there is a war within the tags of whether you’re going to respond with “effervescent” or “color theory.” A mutual reblogged fetish art without knowing it was fetish art. You don’t know if you should tell them. You decide it’s better to not. A new ad is tormenting the userbase. This is the tumblr experience. 


    What the Living Do, Marie Howe


    Written for her brother, John Howe, who died of complications of AIDS


    full poem:

    Johnny, the kitchen sink has been clogged for days, some utensil probably fell down there. And the Drano won’t work but smells dangerous, and the crusty dishes have piled up

    waiting for the plumber I still haven’t called. This is the everyday we spoke of. It’s winter again: the sky’s a deep, headstrong blue, and the sunlight pours through

    the open living-room windows because the heat’s on too high in here and I can’t turn it off. For weeks now, driving, or dropping a bag of groceries in the street, the bag breaking,

    I’ve been thinking: This is what the living do. And yesterday, hurrying along those wobbly bricks in the Cambridge sidewalk, spilling my coffee down my wrist and sleeve,

    I thought it again, and again later, when buying a hairbrush: This is it.
    Parking. Slamming the car door shut in the cold. What you called that yearning.

    What you finally gave up. We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss—we want more and more and then more of it.

    But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass, say, the window of the corner video store, and I’m gripped by a cherishing so deep

    for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I’m speechless: I am living. I remember you.


    Is it wrong that I’m cool with “sex” being removed from the pride flag? They should bring back “magic” though.

    Personally I think you’re wrong and an idiot but that’s just my opinion.


    Fyi this isn’t a dig at people who are asexual or sex-repulsed. Gay sex was literally a criminal act in the parts of the United States Texas until 2003. A healthy relationship to both sex and your body is a major component of the human experience, but especially LGBTQ+ people. Yes this includes people who have a healthy understanding of their boundaries with regards to sex. To try and divorce the fight for LGBTQ+ rights from sexuality is both dangerous and ahistorical.


    Sometimes it is your fault.. Sometimes you don’t listen well enough, you’re selfish, you’re rude and you aren’t always right. Sometimes you fucked it up and tbh that’s okay. It happens, learn from it, apologize and keep it moving. Just because you fucked up doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Don’t dwell on it


    no but this is so important.. it’s so important to just accept you can fuck up you’re allowed to fuck up. you’re allowed to be wrong and it won’t be shameful, it won’t be the worst thing to happen. you’ll either let it go or learn from it and not let it happen again and that’s good.


    i mean i know you're taking the piss, but Dan O'Bannon has talked at length about how he did very much deliberately write the movie to attack a male character in a way that invoked oral rape and violent childbirth because he wanted the film to create sexual anxiety and fear in the men in the audience, which he felt was an untapped potential in horror

    oh to be loved and cherished and taken on sweet little dates, and then brutally fucked within an inch of my life, and then reassured that i’m a valuable person to them with a good heart and that i’m irreplaceable, and then used like a nasty, cheap, desperate little whore, and then kissed goodnight gently and cuddled to sleep, and then woken up in the middle of the night being stretched out because they felt like getting off, and then held real close and snuggled while watching the sun come up together, and then


    like in case you’re under the impression that a space like booktok doesn’t ultimately have much tangible influence over the real outputs of publishing, marketing and reading in general, apparently videos under that tag have over 50 billion views in total and will probably keep rising as it has over the last 2 years. it’s not so much about influence as the fact that booktok readership literally shapes publishing and bookselling these days. not that you needed research to prove that but the research does, in fact, prove it


    @dearrbhla well if anyone wants to argue point them my way bc i’m ready to talk