@ultraorcdork29
Slytherin Paradigm

28 | he/him | Libra

Posts
15850
Last update
2021-07-29 10:58:36
    firebendinglemur

    Me: -so after it became apparent that ‘retarded’ had become a term of abuse, educators and psychiatrists switched to other terms like ‘handicapped’ or ‘special needs’ in an attempt to -

    George Orwell, whom I’ve dragged forward in time with my arcane powers because I’m lonely and want someone to talk to: You have a telephone in your pocket?  It listens to you all the time?

    Me: Never mind about that, the point is, young people now mock each other by sending the wheelchair emoji - that’s a type of electronic heiroglyph - to suggest mental deficiency and shout SPESHUL!!!! while doing offensive imitations of disabled facial expressions and posture.  So any attempt to lexographically make crimethink impossible is pretty much doomed because the meaning of words in everyday conversation can’t be controlled by a dictionary entry, no matter how many Ministry of Truth employees-

    Orwell: It reports your location to the telephone company at all times?

    miryamssong

    someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i'm 5 years old

    rizaoftheowls

    Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)

    Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

    Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

    Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

    Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

    Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

    Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

    Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

    Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

    Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

    Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

    Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!

    derinthemadscientist

    So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.

    rizaoftheowls

    Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”

    galaxy-of-great-possibilities

    thank you for the desc’s bcs they are beautiful and i am now educated

    above-d-clouds

    A handy table for everyone:

    brioche-of-the-galaxies

    Y’all have no idea how happy it makes me to see my goyim followers reblogging this. Really. It means the world to me.

    i-aint-even-bovvered

    That chart is my favorite. Because sometimes even I forget how much we love trees. Trees are so good you guys.

    dreverythingisaliens

    This is an amazing explaination and these holidays are so fucking punk.

    lovemedonlothario

    what's up I fucking despise the way we as a society have normalized caffeine addiction

    lovemedonlothario

    capitalism: it's literally impossible to both earn enough to support yourself and take proper care of your health let alone engage in hobbies all at once but good news! your desperation to relieve yourself of the exhaustion we forced on you creates demand for an unregulated mildly addictive drug!

    lovemedonlothario

    how many times have you heard someone say they get "the WORST headache if they don't get their morning coffee lol" like its a normal thing and not literal withdrawal

    telltaletypist

    telling gay men that they are allowed to love each other freely, openly, and passionately will always be more important than reassuring insecure straight men that they can hug their bestie without being gay

    telltaletypist

    the solution to men withholding love and affection from each other out of fear of being perceived as gay is to remove the stigma around being perceived as gay, not to “no homo” male affection