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    Keep reading


    ahhh just logged on from a hw break and then saw this 🥺💞

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎  ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎  ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    synopsis ↯︎

    “i should’ve just listened to my brother when he said to stay away from you. but what did i do? i was fucking stupid and i let you both in; i fucking put my trust in you, and yet, it was all a lie in the end.”


    in which they were bad news. while she was naive and gave them the benefit of the doubt, they were playing her like a game. it was only a matter of time before someone lost it all.

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎  ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    genre + pairing ↯︎

    angst (not sorry tbh lololol) + bad boy

    love triangle + college au!

    mark lee x oc x kim sunwoo

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎  ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    warnings & notes ↯︎

    warnings: typos. swearing. alcohol. smoking. probably more tba as story develops.

    notes: this was solely made to spite gina lol <3 it’ll probably be a while before i post it all bc i wanna fix my other fics first, but i’m relatively done with it :)

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎  ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    short series masterlist ↯︎

    start date: coming soon

    update schedule: tba once fic starts


  • tba <3
  • chapters

  • prologue
  • [ redacted ]
  • [ redacted ]
  • [ redacted ]
  • etc. <3
  • ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎  ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    mood board ↯︎ (for fun hehe)

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎  ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    inspired by + playlist ↯︎

    i.b. - liar by sf9

    playlist tba <3

    taglist ↯︎


    comment/dm/ask to be added!

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎  ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎


    After effects 😎😎



    in which he doesn’t understand why everyone says he’s different, and he doesn’t realize how she’s changed him until she’s no longer around.

    “they told me i don’t smile as bright anymore, but i don’t even remember smiling before you came into my life, and i haven’t been able to bring myself to do so since you left.”

    aha i gotta keep the way this ends a secret or otherwise i’ll get smacked

    jeonghan x oc (i was gonna keep this a secret but u asked for it in writers channel

    so um. yeah. um. okay. yeah. i’m evil. yay.


    story of another us 😙✌🏻



    in which, apart from a few rare cases, soulmates are not destined, but made. they were soulmates. keyword, were.

    “you know, for a little while, i had this little hope that maybe we could go back to how things were, but then i saw how happy you were, and i couldn’t ruin that for you.”

    they had their chances, but they found out about that a little too late.

    juyeon x reader

    gina go away why u gotta ask about tHIS





    in which it was all lies. their whole relationship was built on lies, and yet, even when they lost each other, they couldn’t let each other go if they tried.

    “i wanted to tell you, but i didn’t have the heart to. there are so many things that i should’ve just been honest with you about. things i should’ve fought for.”

    “but you didn’t, because to you, we weren’t worth fighting for in the first place, were we?”

    lol this one is a whole angst trip i’m sorry

    kang chanhee x reader

    this is actually one of my favorites, i just didn’t tag it as one bc it hurts so me to the point that i now refuse to acknowledge it 😔💔


    back to you 🙈


    #20 ; BACK TO YOU

    in which they let each other go because at the time, they’d fucked up & it was for the best, but they never forgot about each other. she’d always have his heart in the palms of her hands & he’d always be the love of her life.

    “i don’t know how i made it through a day without you, let alone three years, but i promised myself i’d find my way back to you, so please, just don’t leave me again.”

    a fluffy to angsty to fluffy exes to lovers :)

    sangyeon x fem!reader

    yes this was the one i yelled for from the trd gc.


    you gonna spill on seoul station?



    in which he didn’t expect to see her waiting for a train at that hour in the night. in fact, he never really expected to see her again at all, and now he doesn’t know what to say.

    “i thought i was okay with how it ended, but you walked through the hall and suddenly my mind went blank.”

    a very complicated trip through a relationship that fell apart.

    jeonghan x oc or fem!reader (still deciding lol)

    everyone look away i don’t wanna get sued.


    RULES : i post the names of all the files in my wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. then you send me an ask with the title that most intrigues/interests you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!

    tagged by: mi soulmate @elcie-chxn 🤍✨

    note: huehuehue ty for the tag soulmate :>> idk who to tag so feel free to do this if you want :) as you may or may not know,, i’m still mostly ia atm bc school, but i have way too many wips so this is the most recent 35 that i’ve worked on. i put a little bit of information under each one so that you can think ant what you wanna send in an ask for :) anything with a ❀︎ is a personal favorite. see them all under the cut! <333

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ?︎ ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    1.) LIAR, LIAR. |

    ( oc ; non-idol + college au ; love triangle ; sort of a short series ; don’t sue me for this one okay,, promise me ; multi ; in progress. )

    2.) SEOUL STATION. |

    ( currently between oc or fem!reader ; non-idol + college au ; somewhat? exes to lovers ; svt ; short series ; in the final draft stages, almost done besides tweaking. )


    ( undecided ; anti-soulmate au ; honestly just a whole fucking trip ; one shot, might end up as a two-part tho tbh ; tbz ; half-finished. )


    ( undecided ; idol x non-idol ; college au ; a sprinkle of what the fuck was i on when i came up w/ this ; tbd sf9? nct?: multi ; in progress. )


    ( reader ; slice of life i suppose + some college au, some not ; a series of one-shots ; tbz ; in progress, close to done. )


    ( oc ; college au ; really fucking complicated if i’m being honest here ; series, tbd if smau or not, but probably will be ; tbz ; in progress. )

    7.) FALSE.

    ( reader ; idol au ; honestly idk where i’m going with this but we’ll see for now ; supposed to be a 3-part thing ; sf9 ; in progress. )


    ( reader ; idol x non-idol ; college au ; possibly an smau ; series ; multi ; in progress. )


    ( undecided ; idol x photographer ; possibly an smau, tbd ; undecided if series or not ; astro ; in progress. )

    10.) LOVE, AGAIN.

    ( reader ; idol x non-idol ; smau ; short series probably ; cix ; in progress. )

    11.) IDEAL.

    ( oc ; stylist x idol ; honestly idk yet, it could be an smau, could be a full fleshed series, could be a one/two/three-shot ; nct ; in progress. )

    12.) MET YOU IN MAY.

    ( undecided, most likely a reader pov tho ; idol x non-idol type shit yk ; 5-part don’t quote me on that mini series ; astro ; in progress.)

    13.) SOMEBODY LIKE. |

    ( reader ; neighbors au ; strangers to friends to lovers ; tbd if it’s gonna be a really long one-shot or a short series ; astro ; in progress. )


    ( reader ; watch a relationship fall apart ; lovers to exes au ; idk why i wrote this i hate it pls stop me ; one-shot ; sf9 ; in progress. )


    ( reader ; college au ; strangers to friends to lovers ; mini series probably ; tbz ; practically done aside from some tweaking. )

    16.) ANYONE ELSE. |

    ( reader ; unrequited love ; possibly hanahaki au, tbd tho ; a story to be told from the love interest’s pov ; one-shot ; ptg ; just started. )


    ( reader ; best friends to lovers vibes yk ; non-idol au ; one-shot ; ptg ; idea planned, somewhat started i guess. )


    ( reader ; best friend to lovers to exes to strangers aha don’t sue me for this ; one-shot ; sf9 ; 1/3 of the way done. )

    19.) DREAMLAND. |

    ( reader ; all over the place ; a series of one-shots that i wholeheartedly adore ; tbz ; mosty done, a few more to go. )

    20.) BACK TO YOU.

    ( fem!reader ; oh look its an exes to lovers au for once and not the other way around ; three-part or short series, might add to it ; tbz ; revising. )

    21.) CRASHED. |

    ( reader ; streetracer au + college au ; one-shot ; i might change the name tbh ; sf9 ; revising, a high possibility of completely rewriting. )

    22.) WRITTEN IN BOLD |

    ( fem!reader ; soulmate au ; could either be a series or just a one-shot ; nct/wayv ; idea planned, currently starting. )


    ( oc ; secret relationship-ish kind of au ; either a really long one shot or a small series ; tbz ; in progress, but under revision at the same time. )

    24.) AFTER EFFECTS. |

    ( oc ; non-idol au ; idk how to put it into short words lol you’ll just have to send in ask for more info ; one shot? series? idk ; svt ; in progress. )

    25.) SAY NOTHING.

    ( fem!reader ; spy au ; kinda enemies to lovers i think but idk really ; one-shot, maybe two ; tbz ; in progress / on hold. )


    ( oc ; single parent au ; why do i do this to myself bro,, why ; mini series ; svt ; on hold. )

    27.) STARGAZING. |

    ( oc ; friends to lovers au ; why do i do this to myself part 2 ; series ; svt ; almost done. )


    ( reader ; strangers to lovers to exes to lovers to exes ; hs + college au ; one very mf long one shot broskis ; golcha | on hold. )


    ( reader ; established toxic relationship ; lovers to exes to strangers au ; one-shot ; astro ; under revision but basically done. )

    30.) VULNERABLE.

    ( undecided ; complicated friends to almost lovers but not actually ; a lot of self projection too oopsies ; ateez ; one-shot ; on hold.)


    ( reader ; a mess ; a series of one shots that i once again whole heartedly adore ; sf9 ; basically done, under revision. )


    ( reader ; a mess pt ?? of ?? ; the third series of one shots that i again adore ; multi ; basically done, under revision. )

    33.) BREAK YOUR RULES. |

    ( undetermined ; lovers to exes au ; don’t ask how i did this because i genuinely cannot explain this to you ; tbz ; under revision. )

    34.) ONCE MORE.

    ( leaning towards oc but it’s still undetermined until further notice ; exes to lovers au ; short series ; tbz ; almost done. )


    ( reader ; hanahaki + soulmate au ; just no ; why do i fucking do this smh ; tbz ; under revision. )

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ?︎ ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎


    We are a network which aims to provide SVT authors with an expanded platform to share and spread their work, as well as curating a vast collection of content for readers to easily navigate and enjoy.

    While you do not need to be a member to use the tag, #caratwritersclub, members will have priority.

    Before Applying

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  • Read the rules
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  • Link the network somewhere on your blog
  • Use the tag #caratwritersclub in the first five tags to have your work reblogged.
  • Please notify one of the admins for any changes (ie. hiatus, url changes, etc.)

    happy new year!! i just realized i hit 100 followers sometime around 3am this morning omg 🥺 im still mostly ia bc school and reconstructing my blog & fics, but i really appreciate this!! if i have time soon, i might try to finish fixing my blog soon & if i do i’ll try & set up requests properly lololol. ty again!! i love each and every one of you to the moon 🥺🤍✨


    MERRYYYY CHRISTMAAASS, MY BUSY BEE BABY!!! I hope you’re doing well and not burning yourself out too much! Take breaks, eat good food, and drinks lotsa water! You’re doing really well, I’m sure. Do have fun this season and take care! I love u, busy bee 😙😙🎄🤍🤍

    HENLO ATE JUJU 🥺 im sorry i highkey haven’t been active but ty for the happy holidays and ur other messages in my inbox!! for some reason its not letting me answer the others but just know ily to the moon 🥺 happy v late holidays to you (and you @noniesgirl 🥺🤍✨)!! im working my ass off for school rn but if you’ve seen my bio then yk my blog is under construction,, but i have things coming soon once i’m done fixing it all 😳 how are you??? 🥺 i’ve been using the uwu emoji this whole paragraph but ily again djdhe

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ❂︎ ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎


    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ❂︎ ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    pairing : ji changmin x reader

    synopsis : you remember the day that you met the love of your life; you just didn’t know they were your soulmate back then.

    genre : soulmate au, college au, fluff, the tiniest bit of angst if you squint (but not really??)

    word count : 2.5k

    a/n : happy holidays!! my wifi took forever to be fixed so this was supposed to be uploaded at 6, but oh well, what can you do?? anyways, i'm back to writing and i'm finally out of writer’s block, so hopefully once i finish every assignment i'll be much more active :)

    message for secret santa : @sunlightwoo hi gina!!! ksdbnkb i’m so excited i finally get to post this, i had the idea the literal day i pulled you for ss & i was so excited to write it because that was just about the time we started to talk a lot more 🥺 i don’t remember if i ran this through grammarly or proofread it so uh don’t kill me for that, but i hope you love this bubs,, pls don’t smack me, i love you to the moon <333



    as you took a small sip of your hot chocolate, you watched as the snow fell just outside the window, the ground becoming colorless as the white blended together.

    you remembered the first winter you ever loved, and then you remember the path that led you to your first and last love.


    “kevin, you can’t just let yourself into my apartment whenever you feel like it,” you’d muttered, letting out the breath that was hitched in your throat when you saw your best friend, who just so happened to be your neighbor, pull his head out of your fridge.

    “but you gave me a key?” the boy had replied, though it came out as more of a question as he flashed an awkwardly sheepish grin your way.

    “yeah,” you felt your eyes rolling in a joking way as you let your bag gently drop to the floor, tired from your classes all day. “i gave you a key for emergencies, not for you to give me heart attacks when i find you raiding my fridge when i’m not home.”

    you’d met kevin in your first year of high school. since then, you’d practically been inseparable, even going as far as applying to the same university and moving into apartments next door from each other. he’d become somewhat of an older brother to you, in a way, and you couldn’t really imagine life without him.

    “well, you should’ve known what you were getting into when you agreed to be my friend,” kevin cheekily grinned as you sat across from him at your kitchen counter.

    “you say that like i had a choice.”

    “anyways,” he rolled his eyes, ”i was waiting for you. i wanted to ask if you’re free to help me tomorrow. younghoon and chanhee have classes all morning, so they won’t be able to help until tomorrow.”

    the dumbfounded look on your face must’ve given him all the information he needed to know, because he only laughed at your confusion in amusement.

    “you forgot, didn’t you?”

    “depends, remind me about what you think i forgot,” you dodged, only causing the canadian boy across from you to have his turn at rolling his eyes at your feeble attempt to confuse him.

    “my new roommate changmin moves in tomorrow, remember?”

    if only you knew what you were getting yourself into the next day.

    “this is changmin,” kevin introduced you to the boy who stood in the doorway of the once-empty room in kevin’s apartment.

    at first glance, you felt your heart speed up a little, but you brushed it off, assuming you were just feeling the nerves of meeting someone new, but when he smiled at you, somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew you were done for.


    “alright, the jig is up. i know you’ve been avoiding him because you think he’s cute,” kevin smirked as the two of you sat at a corner table in the library.

    you were supposed to be studying for a test coming up next week, but when your best friend invited his roommate along for the study session, your focus seemed to fizzle out. you’d been staring at the same page for a good thirty minutes now, though every now and then when you glanced up, you found yourself distracted for a few minutes when your eyes would catch changmin going through the bookshelves.

    “shut it,” you muttered, erasing the mess of words from your notebook, “i can’t even think because my brain is fried. i don’t understand any of this.”

    “you sure it’s because of the work? or is it because o-”

    the sentence never finished itself, as you did not hesitate to lightly elbow kevin in the ribs. he merely scowled at you and frowned, knowing full well that you were denying things. it’d been two months into the school year, which meant it had only been one month since you met changmin; a month since you’d started avoiding him. you weren’t sure why you weren’t able to get that boy out of your head, but when you glanced at the numbers that floated across your wrist, you decided you’d rather not find out.

    “i don’t know why you don’t just talk to him, i get that you’re a little worried about the whole soulmate thing since your clock is counting up to december, but don’t you think you deserve to experience things for once?” your best friend looked at you in concern.

    “it’s not that simple, kev,” you sighed, closing your eyes when the words began to swirl across the page. “i’d rather not get attached. i should at least meet my soulmate first, right?”

    the older boy looked at you with his frown still etched onto his face. “it’s not that hard, and it’s definitely not the end of the world. i don’t see why you don’t just talk to him.”

    “talk to who?”

    your head whipped around in surprise when you saw changmin walk up from your left, a couple books in his hands. however, in the midst of your surprise, you missed the scheming smile kevin had switched his previous frown out for.

    “they didn’t wanna bother you, but this one here didn’t understand their literature assignment very well. i know you’re both in the same class, so i was telling them to ask you.”

    when you did a complete 180 to look at kevin, he only smiled the tiniest bit wider, knowing full well what he did. you turned to changmin with a sheepish look, ready to tell him that it was fine and you’d just ask the professor later in the day, but he only gave you a soft smile and slid into the seat across from you.

    “i can explain it, if you want.”


    “we’re gonna be late to the party!”

    the yell had caused you to poke your head out of your room, finding that younghoon had burst into your apartment and now stood in the middle of your living room. juyeon was throwing a halloween party later that night and asked you along as the rest of your small friend group to help him set up.

    “younghoon, how could we be late when we’re getting there early to help set up?” you yelled from your room, letting out a small laugh as you looked at your outfit in the mirror once more.

    “just hurry up! i wanna get food on the way there,” he argued back with a whine in his tone, only causing you to laugh more as you stepped out of your bedroom.

    “alright, i’m sold. ready to go?” you asked lightheartedly, looking up only to find that chanhee, changmin, and kevin had all walked into your apartment as well, the four boys standing around the living room. your eyes glanced over their expressions for a moment and noticed they hesitated to speak, causing a puzzled look to make it’s way onto your face. “what, is my outfit that bad?”

    “your outfit looks great, just didn’t expect it,” kevin shrugged as you let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding, a small laugh of relief leaving your lips.

    “well i’d hope so,” you gave them a soft smile and began to follow as they began to walk out your front door, making their way towards the elevators, but a certain someone stayed back for a moment, as if contemplating something. “are you coming, changmin?”

    “yeah,” changmin spoke up, stuffing his hands into his pockets and walking by your side. “by the way, they’re not wrong.”

    though you’d finally been talking a bit more since the library incident kevin tricked you into, you felt shy for a moment. his words confused you as you stopped before the corner of the hallway, the others continuing to walk without noticing they were leaving the both of you behind. when you asked him what he meant, he merely nudged your arm with his elbow and gave you another small smile.

    “you look great.”


    “i’m never watching another horror movie with you again,” you groaned as you threw a pillow towards changmin’s head, burying your own into the couch cushions.

    “but tonight’s movie night, and this is only the first movie,” he laughed, the pillow not even going anywhere near him. over the past few months you’d grown much closer to him, which was what you were worried about.

    you found yourself becoming attached to him, your feelings bubbling up all on their own. the only reason you’d avoided him in the first place is because you thought you might develop feelings for him, and you didn’t want to do that only to meet your soulmate in a matter of weeks. it was the same reason you didn’t have that many friends or date around in your younger years. in fact, you already knew that all your other friends were lucky enough to find their soulmates before you.

    “i can’t believe i agreed to join you because kevin had to go,” you mumbled, the words muffled by the couch cushions. “can’t we watch something else? or do anything? that damned chucky doll is gonna show up in my dreams for weeks.”

    “fine, but only because you’re being a scaredy-cat,” he rolled his eyes with a smile evident on his lips. you two were comfortable with each other, and it was eating at you on the inside.

    as he reached over to grab the remote, you noticed the white glow of numbers across his wrist; four complete zeroes. at first you don’t know why you never noticed it before, but then again, it was starting to get cold when you first met changmin. you couldn’t really be sure you ever saw him not wearing something that covered his arms and kept him warm.

    though, that wasn’t the point because your eyes were still trained on the four zeroes across his wrist. you couldn’t even register your question in your head, let alone stop yourself from asking. “you already met your soulmate?” you felt your heart falter just the tiniest bit before his eyes met yours, and you immediately slapped a hand over your mouth. “wait, i’m sorry, that’s none of my business.”

    he only laughed, a look in his eye that you couldn’t recognize shining though when he faced you. “it’s alright. i met them a few months ago.”

    “oh, i see,” you responded, feeling a lump in your throat as you glanced at your own wrist, the timer still going down, slowly as ever. exactly what you were afraid of had happened; you’d caught feelings, you’d become attached. the twinge of disappointment you felt as you spoke your next words stung a little, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. “i haven’t met my soulmate yet.”


    “why’d you go back to avoiding him again?” kevin asked, waiting for you to finish packing up your things so you could leave your last lecture of the day.

    “i don’t know what you mean or who you’re talking about,” you fibbed, putting your pens away into their case and tucking everything into your bag.

    with a look on his face that said ‘stop joking around’, kevin nudged your arm and let out a sigh. “you mean to tell me that you’re not avoiding a certain ji changmin?”

    the question made the guilt bubble up in your stomach as you rose from the seat, walking out of the lecture hall with your best friend in tow. after that night, you discovered changmin. had found his soulmate, you thought it’d be best to avoid him again for a little while, at least until you were due to meet your soulmate, which just so happened to be that very day.

    “i’m not avoiding him,” you lied straight through your teeth. “i’ve been busy with finals and other stuff, okay? it’s not like i’m the only one who’d been cooped up since exams started either.”

    “are you sure this has nothing to do with you thinking he’s cute and catching feelings for him?”

    the question made you snap.

    “and what if it does? what then?” you asked, exasperated. “yeah, i got attached, kev. he’s already met his soulmate, and for crying out loud, i meet mine today! it’s pointless, alright?” your best friend shut up at your words, guilt now taking over his own face as he realized he might’ve gone too far with the friendly teasing over your little crush. you let out a sigh, mumbling a quick sorry before heading off, saying you’d talk later. for now, you needed to calm down.

    you found yourself now outside and in the campus garden, taking a seat on a nearby bench. the cherry blossom trees were covered in light dusts of snow, the rest of the garden almost seeming barren if not for the touches of pink here and there.

    feelings were stupid. with kevin, you knew things would be resolved before you even slept tonight, though, with changmin, you felt as though you’d gone and fucked up a perfectly good friendship as you sat there in thought. you hadn’t even noticed that the numbers on your wrist had just fallen to four zeroes, or that someone had sat down right next to you.

    “hey, stranger,” changmin sent you a brief smile, noticing you seemed upset. his eyes glanced to your wrist, and then to your face, watching as you sniffled and let out a breath that could be seen due to the cold.

    “hey,” you spoke, your voice a little rough, though regardless, you let out a small laugh. “i’m sorry i’ve been m.i.a. on you. i kind of shut myself in when finals were starting.”

    “that’s alright,” he said, though his face held just a sliver of satisfaction as he stared at your wrist. “i don’t mean to pry, but judging by the fact you seem a little upset, i’m assuming it didn’t go well?”

    lost as ever, you tilted your head at the boy next to you, who only gestured to your wrist as you let out a quiet gasp, and then the guilt began to pour in again. “that just happened,” you spoke quietly, turning to him again to apologize. you wondered how fate could be so cruel that it’d give you a soulmate that already had someone, but you couldn’t even form words before changmin took your face between both of his hands and placed a soft kiss upon your lips.

    “sorry,” he sheepishly grinned, “i should’ve asked, but you just looked so cute, i couldn’t resist.”

    “but- i-”

    he cut your words off, though it wasn’t like you were really forming a full sentence anyway; the shock was taking up a good amount of your brain power. when he rolled up the sleeve of his jacket, he let the white numbers that floated across his wrist peek through.

    “the day the numbers on my wrist fell to zero? that was the day i met you.”


    the cherry blossom trees on the streets below were covered by the snow, but you were feeling warm inside your cozy apartment. you’d placed the cup of hot chocolate down and smiled to yourself before you felt two arms wrap around you from behind, a head being buried into the crook of your neck.

    “hey, you,” changmin mumbled, smiling into your skin before you turned to face you.

    “hey, love,” you smiled back and fell into his embrace, only pulling your head away to meet his eyes.

    “happy holidays.”

    “happy holidays to you too.”

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    chapter three ↯︎ choi chanhee; letter recieved.

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ♤︎ ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    “chanhee, you’ve got a letter.”

    it only took a mere sentence that haknyeon spoke that morning for chanhee’s day to take a drastic turn from what he’d initially planned.

    “i don’t get letters though, not unless it’s like for school or something like that. who’s it from?” the older of the two didn’t even look up from his desk, reaching for his glass of water.

    “someone named y/n?” haknyeon stated as more of a question. “i think it’s handwritten, or at least the address lines are if it helps.”

    chanhee’s world froze.

    y/n. that was a name he hadn’t heard since he was in high school; a name that hadn’t even left his lips since high school.

    he hadn’t realized how spaced out he was. he was too busy drowning out everything around him at the mention of her name, he didn’t even realize that he let go of his glass. he only snapped out of it when his younger roommate yelled, seeing the crystal-like shards that had scattered near his feet.

    “fuck’s sake, you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” haknyeon muttered, moving to get some paper towels and the broom. “i’m assuming you know the person who the letter’s from?”

    “sorry,” chanhee muttered, mentally cursing himself for letting her affect him so much. “i did, once, but i don’t anymore. i haven’t known her for a long time.”

    “cryptic much,” the younger boy raised an eyebrow as he watched the other carefully avoid the glass and stand up. “letter’s on the counter if you’re gonna read it. i’ll clean this up. judging by the way you reacted, it might be important.”

    with a curt nod, chanhee found his feet moving toward the counter, but he didn’t feel like himself. it was like watching another person through his own eyes.

    when he found himself on the roof of their dorm building minutes later, his hands felt foreign as they held the stationary between his fingertips. his mind was elsewhere as he watched the room around him swirl into the vivid memories he fought to push away.

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ♤︎ ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    “i love you.”

    the words that met chanhee’s ears made his lips quirk up into a slight smile, his eyes falling down to look at the girl who was resting against his chest.

    she wasn’t paying attention to the movie that they had put on just twenty minutes before, instead finding herself enamored with the idea of tracing little hearts on the palm of her boyfriend’s hand.

    “that’s new,” he tilted his head, his smile growing wider when her eyes met his. it was like watching the stars light up right in front of him.

    “what do you mean?” she huffed jokingly, a small but playful pout evident on her lips.

    pressing a kiss to her forehead, chanhee only laughed. “we never really say the ‘i’ when we say our i love you’s. i can’t really remember a time like that.”

    with a soft hum, she only grinned and placed a quick peck on his cheek. “well, i just think i need to say that i love you more,” she let out a soft sigh, “besides, i need to make sure that you know it’s me who loves you.”

    “well then, i love you more,” he said, full of content as he put his head against hers, directing his attention back to the movie.

    “impossible,” she muttered.

    he couldn’t see the tears forming in her eyes from the new angle he would soon fall asleep in.

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ♤︎ ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    “you weren’t stupid,” chanhee mumbled, staring at the words written across the paper. “you just didn’t pay attention sometimes.”

    he knew the dainty handwriting by heart, even if it had been years since he’d seen it. he took note of how there were only a few changes; the way that the words were more spaced out than before, the way the letter ‘i’ was no longer dotted with the corny little hearts she insisted on using out of habit.

    he wondered when that changed.

    did she still listen to her favorite band? how many times had she dyed her hair since he last saw her? what was she into nowadays? he wondered a million things about what else had changed about her since the last time they’d spoken.

    then he started to wonder if he’d ever crossed her mind since then.

    chanhee always blamed himself for everything ending on a bad note between them. he tried to reach out once, but he always thought it was his fault for not trying hard enough. maybe he was only a teen in high school who couldn’t have known any better, but he knew he loved her.

    watching as the words began to swirl across the paper, chanhee seemed to lose sense of his surroundings, instead falling back into the memories of his first love.

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ♤︎ ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    “maybe the time’s just not right for us.”

    it was when those seven little words were out in the air, with no way to take them back, that chanhee felt his heart drop. he attempted to mask the hurt with a look of confusion, but he already had a feeling about how things would play out.

    “what do you mean?” he’d asked, moving back to get a better look at her face.

    she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

    “just forget i said that,” she mumbled, standing up from the couch and heading straight for the stairs to the second floor. “forget everything, okay? i need to go home.”

    chanhee only blinked before he found his feet carrying him up the stairs, not seeming to process the situation fully. those seven little words had practically knocked the wind out of him.

    “y/n, wait!” he called, following her up to his bedroom. her knuckles were going white from her grip on her phone as she scrambled to find the jacket she’d taken off earlier.

    “i shouldn’t be here. i should go home,” y/n’s voice faltered as she shook her head profusely. she felt like there was something clawing at her from the inside of her throat, but her boyfriend only watched her scramble to leave, a heavy feeling of disappointment hitting him like a wave.

    “please, just tell me why you said that,” he begged, his voice wavering as she turned away from him to search in another area of his room. “it’s always been us, i don’t understand.”

    “me too,” she whispered. “it’s late, chanhee.”

    “let’s just talk.”

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ♤︎ ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    chanhee didn’t even notice his eyes had glossed over until he tried to blink away the blurs that had taken over his vision. though despite the blurring, he couldn’t cry; the tears just wouldn’t come.

    he used to blame himself for her leaving, and when he had last seen her years before, he’d blamed her for never explaining things from her point of view.

    now, he had no idea what to think.

    he was her best friend of what, seventeen years? and her boyfriend for at least two? if she didn’t feel like she could tell him about what was going with her, then what was he supposed to take from it?

    did she not trust him enough to tell him what was troubling her? did he not put in enough effort for her to know she could always lean on him?

    was it his fault?

    was it hers?

    was there even anyone at fault anymore?

    chanhee’s head was beginning to hurt as his mind ran through all the possibilities; all the questions he had over the years flying in and out of his brain as he tried to figure out what everything was.

    all he could think was, i’m sorry.

    he hadn’t realized how long he’d sat there until haknyeon had opened the door to the rooftop and called his name.

    “there you are!” the younger boy sighed as he approached his roommate. “you’ve been gone for like, half an hour. is everything okay?”

    when he got no response, haknyeon frowned. “was it the letter?”

    chanhee only blinked himself back to reality and folded the paper into his pocket. “just some news about stuff from when i was younger. nostalgic stuff, you know?”

    his roommate didn’t buy it, though he said nothing regardless, only giving a mere nod in response.

    “your girlfriend’s here; she’s looking for you.”


    when he’d followed haknyeon back to the apartment, chanhee put on his best face and acted as if things had been okay all along.

    why wouldn’t they be?

    he’d been thinking about how much y/n probably changed, but he changed a lot too since they stopped being in each other’s lives.

    he’d stopped singing as much as he used to. his favorite colors had changed as did his personality. his friend group had changed. he’d gone through so many different things since she’d left, so why was he thinking about her so much? it was years ago, so he should be past it by now, right?

    “hi, love,” the two words interrupted his thoughts.

    low and behold, there stood lee yuri, his girlfriend of the past eight months. she had the brightest smile on her face when she’d laid her eyes on her boyfriend.

    “hey,” chanhee smiled. he was quick to pull yuri into a hug, but the familiar voice inside of his head only taunted him more. it was her voice.

    maybe this is all we are, maybe it’s all we ever were.

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ♤︎ ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    previous | masterlist | next

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    sypnopsis ↯︎

    “i’m sorry that we’re out of each others’ lives. i thought it’d be better for me to erase it all from my memory, but now i’m standing in the rain and there’s no umbrella to shield me from the downpour; now im not so sure.”


    in which y/n only wants to remember the rain and the three people in the world who’ve ever seen her cry.

    genre + description ↯︎

    angst that’s it. just angst. i’m so sorry.

    a short series featuring members of four boy groups (svt, tbz, astro, ab6ix). this shit hurts lmao i’m sorry in advance pls don’t sue me broski.

    pairings ↯︎

    1.) choi chanhee x fem!reader

    2.) ??? x fem!reader

    3.) ??? x fem!reader

    4.) ??? x fem!reader

    note: at some random point i asked for a random idol from someone & they said taehyung, so i turned taehyung into reader’s brother on a whim, meaning features or descriptions may be based off of a similar visual to taehyung! might also have some mentions of “kim y/n” here and there, but i’ll try to avoid it. i didn’t classify this as an oc pairing because i don’t think i’d develop anything in this universe further than this short series :)

    ―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎ ♤︎ ―︎︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎―︎

    a/n ↯︎

    this chapter got deleted so now i hate that it’s not only poorly rewritten, but also late 🕺🏼 my apologies i hate it here. might double update this today & put the next chapter up later tonight if i feel like it,, gotta update gloomy tmrw! <3

    taglist ↯︎ (dm/ask/comment)

    @thepixelelf @elcie-chxn @woozisnoots @escapewriter @kthpurplesyou @yutacrush

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