Fine Blogging and Breathing

My name is Steve. I'm 30 & from CT, USA Music major, cemetery caretaker, Tau Beta Sigma- Gamma Kappa chapter If I find something funny, I post it. If I find something interesting, I post it. (honestly, any pronouns, or just Steve)

Last update
2021-07-29 01:22:21

    TIL Elvis once handed Alice Cooper one of his guns and asked him to point it at him to show off his karate skills. Cooper later said that he genuinely wanted to pull the trigger to do something legendary with his life, but Elvis knocked the gun out of his hand and pinned him before he could fire.

    via http://ift.tt/2vjlzCA


    crouching tiger, hidden Elvis


    i can’t stop reading this


    Fairy: Hey I didn’t get your name.

    Me: Yeah that was on purpose.

    Fairy: Oh my god stealing people’s names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?

    Me: Well yes, but that’s just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.

    Fairy: You’re smarter than I thought.


    Me: So is the fairy monarch democratically elected?

    Fairy: I think the one from a small corner of Alabama might be but for the most part, no. It’s still decided by a contest between the three oldest children.

    Me: What kind of competition?

    Fairy: Well it used to be to the death but that was too violent so these days each kingdom comes up with their own. In mine I think they play marbles but I’ve never seen one.


    Me: Okay so why shouldn’t I say thank you or give gifts in return for favors?

    Fairy: That’s mostly a regional thing but where I’m from it’s insulting to the wealth of the person giving you stuff. Like you really only thank people when what they did was like a huge burden so if you thank someone for giving you something that’s like calling them poor.

    Me: Fairies have wealth inequality?

    Fairy: I mean we technically still live under a feudal system if I’m being honest but with modern technology and ethics nobody notices.

    Me: Do you have Internet down there?

    Fairy: Only dial-up. That’s why I come to your house.


    Fairy: So you’re telling me that human men don’t think that frog eyes are sexy?

    Me: Well not most of them to my knowledge.

    Fairy: So I bought these contacts for nothing.

    Me: Hey man you don’t have to be a frog spirit to lure men into your clutches. Plenty of dudes are into cat eyes and ghoulish moaning.

    Fairy: You really think so?

    Me: I know so! Stop doubting yourself so much. You can definitely find some mortal men to lure into the timeless void for several centuries and adopt a demon cat with you.

    Fairy: Thanks, man. That means a lot.


    Fairy: So humans... don’t eat glass?

    Me: No? It’ll cut up our insides and kill us.

    Fairy: Ooohhhh. Oh no.

    Me: What did you do now?

    Fairy: More like... what I’ve done over the past three centuries since I moved out of my mom’s house.

    Me: Did the coughing up of blood not cue you into anything?!?!!

    Fairy: I thought that humans just spontaneously die sometimes!

    Me: No we don’t! There’s physical reasons for these things!

    Fairy: So... no more bringing nightshade and glass entrees to the potluck?

    Me: No!


    Me: So why mushrooms as portals?

    Fairies: Look man, even we don’t mess with mushrooms alright? Sometimes they open up a portal to the human world and it’s just best to not question it.

    Me: So wait. You don’t make the fairy circles?

    Fairy: No. Mushrooms decide.


    can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

    a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.


    no come back ma’am


    *under my breath* underwater girlfriend


    underwater wife


    Underwater love of my underwater life


    i was going to say ‘i have no idea what to do with this information’ but then i realized its a handy guide to generate fake words that sound english


    “What to do with this information”: kick ass at hangman


    Also useful for simple codebreaking and decoding an unhashed simple letter cypher.


    This is a cryptographer’s dictionary


    It looks like a Road Runner cartoon.


    love that this caused so much controversy the thread needed to be locked. over chicken sandwich


    gang this does not even scratch the surface

    Someone posted a picture of a piece of chicken between two hamburger buns titled “Chicken Burger” to /r/food. Another user commented “Chicken Sandwich” on the post, and was slapped with a 30 day ban by the mods. When they responded to ask why, the mod said

    “Correcting someone in public is public shaming, on top of being incorrect, it’s a pretty shitty comment to leave.”

    So now /r/food is on lockdown after being spammed with posts titled “Chicken Sandwich” and other variations. The mod that handed the ban down pinned a post doubling down, comparing the situation to “Pride posts that always fill up with bigots” and “removing racists from posts featuring POC”, and including a link on “how to correctly, correct someone.”

    because someone commented “Chicken Sandwich” on a post titled “Chicken Burger”.


    Okay but this also does not scratch the surface either

    It all started when the sandwich guy posted about what happened to him on r/TIFU, which led to a lot of outrage including someone in the comments saying they were also banned from r/food just for saying they had diabetes (this was later confirmed by a mod). All this anger turned into a brigade which resulted in the entire sub being flooded with almost nothing but posts about Chicken Sandwiches, now known as burgergate. The mod who initially instituted the ban then went on to compare fending off spammers to defending the capitol building during the January 6 riot.

    You can see in the post that this made it into r/subredditdrama, a community which discusses ongoing drama across reddit. This particular thread in the screenshot is locked, an interesting detail for reasons that come into play later.

    Someone else then goes and posts about burgergate on another sub, r/iamveryculinary , which is dedicated to making fun of food related snobbery and drama. This does not go over well, as it turns out that one of the mods of r/food is also a mod of r/iamveryculinary. This mod then proceeds to get slapfights in the comments, which notably includes her saying she would “rain fiery hell upon” anyone who posts chicken sandwiches in r/food, and complaining that she’s so focused on moderating burgergate that she has no time to spend with her kids. People then beg her to forget the chicken sandwich drama and take care of her children. I would love to give you some more details about this incident or tell you the other side, but I can’t since she deleted all the comments of the people she was arguing with so most of what we have left is just the things she herself said.

    Someone then goes on to post about the r/iamveryculinary drama on r/subredditdrama again. This post immediately gets deleted completely, because it turns out that the r/food mod who also moderates r/iamveryculinary also moderates r/subredditdrama. More people beg the mod to stop caring about the drama and spend time with her kids.

    The whole thing eventually gets posted to r/subredditdramadrama , a meta sub where people discuss drama that goes down in r/subredditdrama.

    Another post is then made to r/subredditdramadrama, where the sandwich guy who was initially banned posts his conversation with the mod that banned him. Up until this point, the original mod had been arguing that the permanent ban wasn’t because of the chicken sandwich comment (which was only a 30 day ban), but because he had been rude to the mods when asking why. Screenshots show sandwich guy simply asking why he was banned and then apologizing for the chicken sandwich comment, only to be smugly told by the mod that he needs to “educate himself”, who also insinuates that he’s a weirdo and calls his comment shitty. Don’t miss this mod showing up in the comments of these screenshots and arguing with everyone else over them.

    So basically the whole thing was one innocuous comment about a chicken sandwich which quickly spiralled into a multi-sub meltdown that has lasted for about two days now. Chicken sandwich guy has not, as far as I know, been unbanned as of yet.


    Every day at least one thing reminds me that the internet is worth it


    Snowball fight 124 years ago. Lyon, France, 1896. Colorized and speed adjusted. Original in black and white by Louis Lumiere.


    Oh wow! Another portal back in time!


    Reblogging to add excerpts from Sam Anderson’s wonderful commentary about this newly colorized/upscaled* short film in The New York Times:

    “This is my favorite film of 2020 — a tiny masterpiece that perfectly distills not only our current mayhem but also, more profoundly, our baffling displacement in time.

    “The footage was captured in Lyon, in 1897, by the Lumière brothers…. It was originally black and white, of course, and herky-jerky because of the low frame rate. But this snowball fight has recently been colorized and smoothed, and the result is shockingly modern. [….]

    “Down in the bottom-left corner [of the gif** below], a thick man with a strong black mustache fires a cheap shot: a wild fastball, from point-blank range, that barely misses its intended target, a slim man who is busy looking the other way. The slim man turns, cocks his left arm and wallops the big man on his thigh. [….]


    “My favorite character, and the closest the film has to a protagonist, is a man in a bowler hat and a coat so long it flaps around his legs like the cloak of a levitating wizard. He looks as if he has just stepped out of a bank meeting, and yet he abandons himself to this childish street warfare with eager glee.  [….]


    “And then there is the bicycle. This is the peak moment of brutality, when the whole group loses its collective goddamn mind. Right from the start, you can see the cyclist coming: a small figure, growing larger every second, gliding smoothly on an angle toward the fray. Before he even reaches the crowd, he starts to take distant fire. And yet he is determined to ride on. When he arrives, all the warring factions turn to unite against him, unleashing a wickedly targeted cyclone. The cyclist takes hard shots to the arm, the face, the back, the neck. Still he pedals forward, hunching his back, spinning his long legs — a stoic hero, intent on gliding through the violence, determined to reach the safety of the other side.

    “But he can’t. The cyclist absorbs one blow too many. He collapses like a broken toy. [….]


    “On an intellectual level, we all understand that historical people were basically just like us. All those stiff figures frozen in blurred photos and smoke-stained oil paintings — the endless parade of side-whiskers, small dogs, billowing dresses, baggy trousers….They lived, as we do, in the throbbing nerve-pocket of the now. They were anxious and unsure, bored and silly. Nothing that would happen in their lifetimes had happened yet. The ocean of time was crashing fresh waves, nonstop, against the rocks of their days. And like us they stood there, gasping in the cold spray, wondering what people of the past were like.

    “And yet it’s hard, across such wide gulfs of time, to really feel this connection. So to watch this snowball fight, to see these people so alive, is a precious gift of perspective. We are them. They are us. We, too, will disappear. We will become abstractions to be puzzled over by future people. That certainty, in the flux of 2020, feels anchoring. We are not unique. We move in the historical flow. [….]

    “In Lyon, this street from the snowball fight is still there. It still looks basically identical: the trees, the buildings. I am staring at it now on my computer screen, and in my mind I am already planning a trip, imagining a pilgrimage, in some unrecorded future.”

    Finally, here is what the original 1896 (or1897) film “Bataille de Boules de Neige” (or “Bataille de Neige)*** by Louis Lumière looked like:

    [See below the cut for footnotes & info  about video clips used for the gifs.]



    Reblogging yet again, because this is such a wonderful timeslip moment, and on this occasion also for the commentary.


    It’s so innocent you don’t see stuff like this much anymore. I will always reblog this and wish I was in on it