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Lackluster

Celia/19/NY,AZ,&NC

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    11/5/18

    I don’t understand why people don’t want to be my friend. I must be the lamest, most rude person on the planet because I honestly have 0 friends. I try to make friends in my classes, and I do; but they don’t want to actually hang out with me at all. Everyone says I will find my group in college, but I haven’t. I’m afraid I never will. It’s so bad I think about killing myself because not being alive would be better than suffering daily from the loneliness.

    9/27/18

    I’m tired of apologizing for things I didn’t do wrong. I’m tired of apologizing to still be ignored and pushed away for over a month. I’m tired of begging for you to be my friend and to stay in my life. The things /you/ do are fine of course; like when you joked about getting hit by a car right after the murder. Or when you did that shitty stuff to our other friends. Of course that’s fine and you’re the victim. I so much as look at you wrong and I get the silent treatment for however long you see fit. It’s completely unfair and I wish we never became friends to begin with.

    03/06/18

    He cheated. I left. My heart is broken. I still want him back and it feels dirty to say. Two years of my life wasted. I’ll never love someone the same way again. People keep teaching me to keep myself guarded. I’ll do that from now on.